48 Days to the Work You Love Revised Edition

The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both.

Is work that necessary evil that consumes the time between our brief periods of enjoyment on the weekends? Is it primarily a method of paying the bills and showing responsibility? Or a way to prove to our parents that the college degree was a reasonable investment? Or the shortest path to retirement? Or is it more?

“Dan, in following the ‘48 Days to the Work You Love’ principles, I realized that only one of my personal goals was being met by my employment; bringing home a salary. I needed an emotional push that would give me permission to break the chains in which I was bound. This process may have saved my life since I was at the point of self-destruction. I felt that I was worth more to my family through collecting insurance than being there for them. Without God’s direction and ‘48 Days’ helping me to gain insight into my feelings and explore my dreams, I don’t know where I would have ended up.”

A highly paid mechanical engineer, this gentleman was responsible and had what would appear to be a successful career path. But the work had become nothing more than a paycheck for him.

We seem to contrast this definition of work with play. Surely we can escape work to spend time in play.

To work is to carry out the duties of a job; to play is to do something enjoyable. But what if you found something you truly enjoyed that also supplied your needed income? Would work and play actually become one and the same? Is it unreasonable to expect our work to be an enjoyable activity?

→Not Work. Not Play. What Is It?

Recently my good friend Lou was trying to describe a time when he had been off work, not on vacation and not really having fun. “There must be a word,” he thought, “to describe that kind of activity.”

What would that be? Only 2 describe our daily activities and, unfortunately, we put work and play at opposite ends of a spectrum. I propose that we create some new words to describe activity in between work and play. What would you call doing a job around the house—horking? What about volunteering at your church—volking? How would you describe just reading a good book? Or having a meaningful conversation with a friend?

I would like to see a gamut of words from work to play that more clearly define how we view those activities. Pass your suggestions to me at work@48Days.com. We’ll enlighten my friend Lou and perhaps add to the next edition of Webster’s.

I decided to check a couple other words that are thrown in with work and play. Leisure is “time during which somebody has no obligations or work responsibilities, and therefore is free to engage in enjoyable activities.” The word comes from a term in an old French dialect—leissor, which means “permission,” or literally “to be allowed.”

Leo Tolstoy, struggling in his search for godliness, looked at the lives of his privileged class and the lives of the plain folks who were their laborers. He determined that whatever their hardships, the working folk rested at night in peace and confidence in God’s goodness, while those in royalty frequently complained and were unhappy about their lives. He renounced his wealthy class and set out to work in the fields alongside the peasants. He proclaimed that the greatest error of the leisure class was the erroneous belief that “felicity consists in idleness.” In A Talk Among Leisured People he asserted that we must return to the recognition “that work, and not idleness, is the indispensable condition of happiness for every human being.”

What if you were “allowed” to do what you most enjoyed every day? What would this do to our definition of retirement?

3. to leave a place, position, or way of life and go to a place of less activity; or

Isn’t that what is implied when people talk about retirement? When can I stop this stupid job and start doing what I really enjoy? Do you really want to stop engaging in daily activities? Or withdraw from service? Instead, why not expect enjoyment in your daily work?

The fruits of a fulfilling life—happiness, confidence, enthusiasm, purpose, and money—are mainly by-products of doing something we enjoy, with excellence, rather than things we can seek directly.

In his popular book The Millionaire Mind, Thomas J. Stanley, Ph.D., looks at the characteristics of America’s wealthiest people, attempting to identify their distinguishing traits. Is it their IQ, GPA, college major, family’s opportunity, or business selection? Surprisingly, none of these topics seems to predict their extra-ordinary success. The one characteristic the millionaires did have in common is they were all doing something they loved. Dr. Stanley concludes, “If you love, absolutely love what you are doing, chances are excellent that you will succeed.”

Our early ideas of work tend to view it as something less than desirable and enjoyable. Tom, a sharp 27-year-old, came to my office wanting confirmation that he was on the right track. He had recently graduated from college (having finished the 7-year plan) and had taken a sales position with an office-equipment company. Each morning he put on his suit and made his calls. The company loved him, but he was bored beyond belief. I asked him why he had taken this route, and his reply relayed a common perception. Tom said that he had a great time in college—traveling, snowboarding, attending ball games, and spending time with his friends. After graduation, he felt it was time to “grow up” and become part of the “real world.” He assumed that meant getting a job he hated to prove his responsibility.

I laughed and asked who had sold him that bill of goods. We looked carefully at his skills, personality traits, values, dreams, and passions. Today, Tom is co-owner of a snowboard shop in Breckenridge, Colorado. On a moonlit night you might catch him coming down a hill, testing one of his new designs.

→Abused Wife Syndrome

No, this extract is not really about abused wives, but I had a client use that term recently in describing his repeated return to the unfulfilling work of his professional training. In his mind, there was a strikingly similar pattern. He would break away from the work he despised for something more rewarding, experience a challenge or setback, and return to the dreaded work, knowing it was where he could make the most predictable income.

Do you do your work only because of its paycheck? Do you long to leave for something more enjoyable? Have you tried another path only to return to what is more familiar? Many people often get trapped in these patterns of returning to negative, abusive situations. The emotions and self-esteem issues there may be complicated and confusing. However, the stakes are dramatically lessened with a job. A job should not define who or what you are. You can leave today and not change the overall purpose or direction of your life. Your calling is a much larger concept than what you do daily to create income. Walk away to a more fulfilling and rewarding job.

I encounter a lot of people who leave their traditional jobs because they want to do something more significant. One woman, who has just resigned from her $74,000-per-year job, said she wanted to do something “noble.” Many are saying they want to make a difference, to make the world a better place, and to do something with spiritual significance.

1. of the soul: relating to the soul or spirit, usually in contrast to material things; or

2. temperamentally or intellectually akin: connected by an affinity of the mind, spirit, or temperament.

You mean normal work does not connect our mind, spirit, and temperament? Perhaps we can create a definition of work that includes more than just completing duties for a paycheck. What if we were able to create a model for work that included work, play, leisure, and spiritual components?

Would it be unreasonable to expect to find fulfilling, enjoyable, spiritually significant, income-producing work?

In his book Prayer, Richard Foster says, “The work of our hands and of our minds is acted out prayer, a love offering to the living God.” St. Augustine adds, “To work is to pray.” Is that how you feel about your work—that it’s a prayer offering to God? Or are you thinking that perhaps God looks the other way when you go to work?

How is it possible for our work to be a form of prayer? This may seem challenging as long as we think of prayer as something we do only on our knees with folded hands and closed eyes. But if we recognize prayer as a time of being present with God, then it follows that our work can be a form of engaging our hearts and spirits in a way that places us in His presence. Anything less would be a questionable use of our time, talent, and resources.

We live in a time that gives us the luxury of seeing the benefits of work that go beyond just providing a paycheck. The frustration of that go beyond those even at high-income levels reminds me again and again that money is ultimately never enough compensation for unhappily investing one’s time and energy. There must be a sense of purpose, meaning, and accomplishment. Remember psychologist Abraham Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs:

5. Lastly, I need self-actualization. (Am I doing what I’m suited for/talented at?)

Most of us aren’t worried about finding food tonight, but we are concerned about how we can do what we’re meant to do. Having a job that provides nothing more than safety and security is not very fulfilling. Work cannot be the only component of a successful, fulfilling life, but it is a very useful tool.

→Crushed Spirit

I recently saw a 61-year-old gentleman who lost his job 9 months ago. When a long period of unemployment has passed, I always suspect more life issues to be lurking in the sidelines. Sure enough, his wife left him 4 months ago, his daughter (“the joy of my life”) got married and moved away 5 months ago, his investments are now worth less than half of what they were 3 years ago, his place of employment for 36 years let him go with a small severance package, he’s unconnected at his church and feels “rejected on all sides.” He made the last mortgage payment 3 weeks ago on his dream house that now must be sold to settle the divorce before he moves into an apartment in town.

Where do we go from there? Proverbs 18:14 tells us “a man’s spirit can endure sickness, but who can survive a broken spirit?” Or in the Living Bible “what hope is left?”

Each area of our lives requires us to make deposits of success. Tiny withdrawals with no deposits will lead to physical, spiritual, and emotional bankruptcy in relationships, jobs, and finances. In times of crisis the area of most pain gets most of our attention, but by making extra deposits in other areas, we can bounce back to success in our most depleted accounts.

My advice: Set aside time for vigorous physical exercise. Walk 3 miles 4 or 5 times a week—the feeling will help release tension and stimulate creativity. Seek out a godly mentor. Much of the success of Alcoholics Anonymous has been from attendees’ having another person to call in the lowest times. Read inspirational material at least 2 hours daily. Volunteer for a worthy cause—helping someone else in need is a great way to ease the inward pain. Get a job even if it’s not your dream job or a great career move. Deliver pizzas or work in the garden department at Home Depot to get moving in a positive direction while you continue to build for long-term success.

Unfortunately, some losses are irretrievable and some pain is debilitating. If you recognize too many withdrawals in your life, take drastic measures to stop the hemorrhaging today!

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” — Confucius

The opportunities in today’s work environment are endless. While in previous generations children adopted the careers handed down by their parents, today’s youth have little or no guidance to direct them onto a work path. They enter the workplace with little work experience and little knowledge of varied careers, leading to poorly made life-directing decisions. Often, a career decision is made with less thought and planning than is put into deciding where to go for spring break. When I asked a young college graduate how he chose criminal justice as his major, he said, “On the first day of college they sent all of us freshmen into a big room. Then they announced, ‘If you are going into accounting, follow this lady down the hall. Advertising majors, go this way.’ I looked down the list [of majors], closed my eyes, and hit the page with my finger. Criminal justice became my chosen field.”

Don’t laugh. It’s a frequently used process. Who knows how to choose the right major? Many business administration majors discovered during their junior year that the quickest way to graduation was by declaring that major. I’m now starting to see graduates with degrees in university studies. Was it just too challenging to decide on any focus? Next we’ll have a degree in showing up. That’s why ten years after graduation, 80 percent of college graduates are working in something totally unrelated to their college major. And that’s OK. College is a broadening experience that rarely forces anyone into a narrow tunnel of no escape. You can change course several times in a lifetime without feeling like you’re derailed or starting over if you have a sense of calling to act as a constant compass. More on that in chapter 3.

→“The Shallow Waters of Avarice”

The first request I issue when I coach someone is “Briefly describe your current work situation.”

Here is a recent response from a young man: “Antithetical to my personal and professional expectations. Unfulfilling on multiple levels: Lack of meaning and purpose; a myopic pursuit of the almighty dollar; a parasitic and never-ending voyage into the shallow waters of avarice.” Wow. What a powerful and eloquent statement of being offtrack and realizing that money is never enough compensation for investing one’s time and energy.

He continued: “Because of the necessity and immediacy of my situation . . . I took the path of least resistance, which has led me down a perilous pike of disappointment and despair. As a direct result of our financial obligations, I absolved myself of the freedom to pursue my dreams for the oppressive restraints of debt.” Feeling trapped by the realities of life, he felt blocked from any attempts at following his true passions.

Fortunately, new possibilities are possible. We mapped out a process for getting an additional degree and an immediate plan for expression of his unique writing skills. He can hike, run a marathon, study fossils with his kids, and get involved in a book club. Life does not have to be put on hold. There are always ways to make deposits of success in areas deemed important. Few obstacles exist beyond those in our minds if we are creative in looking for solutions. And remember to enjoy the journey, starting with today. Success is not a future event—it is the “progressive realization of worthwhile goals.” Thus, either you are successful today or you are not.

Look for opportunities to rise above the “shallow waters of avarice” today.

Generational expectations still do play a large role in many career decisions. Historically each generation has been expected to be more educated and wealthier than the preceding one. Many baby boomers had the finest degrees, invested in the big dot-coms, and banked millions. Now what is their offspring supposed to do to top that? Or here’s a situation: What if the son of a cardiologist is really gifted as a carpenter? Can we encourage that young man to be excellent as a carpenter, or will he be railroaded into a “professional” career?

Several years ago I saw a young surgeon who had gone to Harvard Medical School, as had his father and grandfather. He had the finest cars and opportunities along the way. And yet something was amiss. By the time he came to see me, he was shooting heroin into the heels of his feet (the heels being the only parts of his body where he had not abused the veins). He had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital in an attempt to save his life. While working with me, he expressed his childhood dream of driving a truck.

Today he works as an emergency room physician on the weekends and is still able to make a significant income. During the week he drives a snack delivery truck. He has moved out to the country and is getting his life in order.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” That verse has been distorted to justify cramming spiritual principles onto impressionable children to make certain their theology matches their parents’. A truer reading of the original text would be: “Train up a child in the way that he/she is bent . . . .” The challenge of parenting is to discover how God has uniquely gifted this child and how the parent can help the child excel in that area. Thus there will be times when the son of a surgeon will be most gifted as a truck driver or carpenter or musician or missionary. Well-intentioned parents, teachers, pastors, and others in positions of influence can easily misdirect an impressionable child if only external opportunities are the criteria for career selection. The power of confidence in career choice comes from looking inward for the alignment of personal characteristics, not from looking outward to where “opportunities” lie.

“To thine own self be true, / And it must follow, as the night the day, / Thou canst not then be false to any man.” — Shakespeare, Hamlet 1.3.80–82.

• What will be in the most demand? With entire industries becoming obsolete in 4 to 5 years, how can we accurately predict the jobs of the future?

• What are the most “Godly,” “humanitarian,” or “socially or environmentally responsible” careers? While honorable, using these as external criteria can misdirect a person from doing what is a proper “fit.”

• What is the most secure? Security is a slippery concept in today’s work environment. Little security is found in any company or job. The only security is in understanding yourself—that will provide a compass for navigating the inevitable changes.

• How can I achieve position, status, and power? This is likely to be an elusive path, leading to rapid burnout.

• Where can I get the greatest income? (Similar to the previous bullet point.) If you look first at the money, it will likely stay just outside your grasp.

• What’s advertised in the paper? Probably the worst of all influences, having nothing to do with your uniqueness or a proper alignment of your calling.

None of these will help you build a life plan. Be very aware that getting a job is only one tool for creating a meaningful life.

When we are not true to ourselves, to our unique God-given characteristics, we lose the power of authenticity, creativity, imagination, and innovation. Our life becomes performance-based, setting the stage for compromise in all other areas of our lives.

1. Who gave you your first job? What kind of job was it? How much money did you make?

2. From looking at your work life so far, what has been of the greatest value or worth?