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Bianca did not know what she was doing to me, that she was playing with fire. Desire ignited my blood as her tongue grazed the corner of my mouth. My mouth captured hers as I fought not to rip her clothes off.
Instead, I pressed her against the wall, hooked my hands under her legs, and lifted her off the floor. She was light, yet strong.
All the way to Flagfall House, I had ached with lust. But, despite the burning desire in me, I’d promised myself to behave. Now, there seemed to be no memory of that. I had quite forgotten what it meant to be a gentleman.
I pinned her to the wall with my weight and kissed her throbbing neck.
She gasped as if scared.
Somehow, I found enough strength to pull back.
“I’m sorry,” I said between ragged breaths. Except she pulled me down again. A growl escaped me. I felt like an animal in heat. My tongue slid along her neck, tasting her.
My hips thrust forward. I pressed myself to her. I wanted her.
“Nyro,” she gasped.
I tried to kiss her lips, but she turned away, clearly letting me know I should stop. Trembling, I set her down and buried my face in her hair. It smelled of lavender.
“I want you, Bianca.” I inhaled deeply.
“I... want you, too, but...”
“I know. I know. Forgive me, please.”
Somehow, I managed to pull away and turned my back on her. “You are a lady, and I shouldn’t take such liberties. I should respect you.”
“A lady?” she said with mockery.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I said. “I feel so cold and, yet, when I’m with you, fire runs in my veins. You make me feel fully alive, but that’s no excuse. I should—”
“It’s fine, Nyro.” She forced me to face her, touched a hand to my cheek. I closed my eyes. “I feel just as you do,” she added after a long pause.
My eyes sprang open. What? I never thought she would admit such a thing so freely.
“I just need a little time,” she said. “Not much.”
My desire was stoked by the hope that I would soon be able to make her mine.
She took my hand and led me out of the kitchen and through a set of stairs. She guided me into a room that must have been hers during that previous life when she shopped at the market, and I watched her from afar, hoping she would notice me.
Bianca removed the dust-ridden cover from the bed and sat, patting the spot next to her.
“Sit with me,” she said. “Tell me about Talyssa and your brother.”
I sat, interlacing my fingers to keep them from reaching for the narrow curve of her hip. “Maybe this is not the best place to talk.” All I could think about was our bodies tangling under the covers.
“Oh?” she said innocently and playfully as if tempting me.
“I mean... it’s your bed.”
In response, she lay back, legs dangling over the side. I angled my body in her direction, my gaze traveling over her gently-rising breasts. I craved to cup them, to feel their shape and softness.
“You’re tempting fate, milady,” I said.
“We don’t have to rush into anything, but...” she paused, “I’d like to get used to the idea. Maybe you can... ease me into it.”
I smiled crookedly. “With pleasure,” I said, leaning down to kiss her, except she braced a hand against my chest and stopped me.
“But first, tell me about Talyssa and your brother.”
Her sobering words drove the lust from my body the way water drives the heat from a molten piece of metal. I collapsed next to her and stared at the ceiling. Spider webs hung in the corners.
For the next hour, I lied to Bianca.
I told her nothing of my second feeding, nothing of the King’s task and his promise to set Timotei free if I accomplished it.
After we talked, she let me kiss her, and I was able to take it slow as she wanted, but only because of the heavy shame that descended on me after so many lies.
When we parted, I was equal measures relieved and disappointed. I wanted to tell her the truth but feared she would hate me. Also, I feared what she might do if she found out I was planning to steal from the White Queen.
What if Lovina’s blood had a strong hold on Bianca’s? What if Bianca had no other alternative but to be loyal to her Queen? I couldn’t risk Timotei’s freedom. He had to be my priority. Bianca was on a path of her own making while my brother was nothing but an innocent, helpless victim.
My decision was reasonable and sensible.
Still, it didn’t make me feel any better about the lies I’d told her, or about going through her father’s closet after she left, about changing out of my uniform into one of his suits. Worse yet, about following her to the White Palace and spying on her as she went in.
Riding on her mare, she had disappeared through the massive entrance. I watched her from afar, my anger flaring as I thought about the injustice of our situation and our inability to change anything.
As I continued to watch long after Bianca had passed, carriages went in and out, and Sentries and Pawns took turns guarding the entrance. When night fell, I walked the palace’s perimeter, keeping a safe distance and letting my mind wonder about possible ways to steal the Queen’s scepter.
It seemed impossible, but there was always a way, and I would find it.