Chapter Twenty-Seven

Once again, John waited in dread on Dawn’s porch with hurtful news.

When Dawn opened the door and saw him, her face lit up. “Come in, John. It’s so good to see you.”

She opened her door wide and he went in, dreading this talk more than any of the others he’d had with her. She took his arm and, smiling, walked with him to the kitchen. “I made a peach pie. Your favorite. I was planning on bringing it over to your place, but this is even better.”

“Thanks, Dawn, but I can’t stay for pie.” He stopped and looked down at her. This time he was just going to spit out the words, because they would never get easier to say, or to hear, and he didn’t want to prolong the hurt.

“Oh.” Her smile faded and she pulled back her arm from his and stood there, looking vulnerable. “Is anything wrong?”

“Dawn, I care too much about you to let you learn about this from anyone else.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to marry Lori.”

Her eyes widened, and she blinked. Hard. As if trying not to cry. She turned to the window for a moment, then straightened her shoulders and turned back. “Thank you for telling me in person, John. When is the wedding?”

“We haven’t chosen a date yet.”

She fingered the material on her sleeve. “I have something to tell you, too. I’m moving back home for awhile. My dad’s leukemia is back and my mom needs help nursing him.”

“Oh, Dawn, I’m so sorry to hear that.” If guilt could multiply, his just had.

“Thanks. Me, too.”

“And you just started teaching. What will you do about your students?”

“Another teacher’s already been hired.”

In this moment when she was so valiantly trying to be both brave and gracious, though he knew her heart was breaking from both his news and her father’s condition, John admired her more than ever. She was a good woman, but not the woman for him. “Good luck with your father. I’ll pray for him.”

She nodded. “And good luck in your marriage. I hope you’re happy.”

The conversation was just plain surreal. “Thanks.”

She smiled, though it was forced. “Now, I really need to get back to my class work. I’ve got a lot to do before I meet with the new teacher tomorrow.”

“Oh, sure. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

He found himself on the porch, feeling sad for what might have been, even while he rejoiced in what he had with Lori.

He hoped Dawn found someone who could love her the way he loved Lori. She deserved a happy ending, too.

~

“Two calls in one week,” Lori’s mother teased her. “I feel honored.”

Lori smiled. She was looking forward to her mother’s excitement at her engagement news—but dreading the inevitable discussion about whether she’d told John about her infertility. And, even worse, if her mother didn’t bring up the subject, Lori would have to. She couldn’t leave an end like that dangling loose. “I have some good news for you, Mom.”

“I know and I’m so excited. I can hardly wait for you to move back in with me. Three weeks, right?”

“Well, that’s not the news. Not exactly.”

“What is not exactly? You can’t move back into your Manhattan apartment because you sublet it, so where else would you stay? Of course you’ll stay with me.”

“It’s not about where I’ll be staying.” Lori laughed. “Well, actually, I guess it is, but—”

“When is that gardening column guy getting back? Has he decided to party a little longer on the Great Wall of China?” Her mother sounded suspicious, like Charles had some sort of evil plan to stay away just so she couldn’t see her daughter.

Lori chuckled. “Charles will get back the second week in October, as planned, but I’m not leaving Utah then.”

“Why not? Have you gotten another job?” Her mother gasped and her voice lowered. “You’re staying because of the fireman, aren’t you?”

“He asked me to marry him. And I said yes.”

Her mother actually squealed with happiness. “Oh, that’s absolutely marvelous. I knew he’d understand when you told him. He must be a really great guy. I love him already.”

“He is a really great guy.” Here it was—the part of the discussion Lori had been dreading. “But I didn’t tell him.”

“You didn’t tell him? Lori, what are you going to do when he finds out? Don’t you think he’ll be upset?”

“We’ll find out together. And I’ll be as surprised and as disappointed as he is. We’ll deal with it later. Together.”

“Oh, Lori, honey, you’re just asking for trouble. Things like this have a way of getting out at the worst possible time and biting you right in the fanny.”

“Mom, I’m asking you, please, not to tell John that you or I already knew about my infertility. Please.”

Her mother’s voice was disapproving. “You want me to lie?”

“No. Just don’t volunteer the information.”

“What if he asks me straight out?”

“Please, Mom? I’m begging you.”

“You need to tell him, Lori. You don’t want to start your relationship with a lie. That’s not a good foundation for a marriage.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

Her mother sighed. “I won’t tell him, Lori. That’s your job. But I think you’re making a big mistake.”

“Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it. Now are you going to be happy for me or not? I’m getting married, after all.”

“I am very happy.” Her mother must have accepted what Lori had asked because she sounded excited again. “When’s the wedding? And where?”

“We haven’t decided yet on the when, but the where is probably here in Brigham City.”

“Let me know the instant you decide so Greg and I can get airline tickets. And I’ll want to throw you a reception here in Schenectady, too, of course.”

Lori smiled. “Of course.”

“When do I get to meet the groom?”

“I’ll ask him tomorrow night. He’s taking me to buy a ring.”

“Oh, honey, that’s so exciting. Be sure to e-mail me a picture of it. And of him. And of you two together. And of you wearing the ring.”

Lori smiled, happier than she’d been in ages, but still with a nagging doubt in the back of her mind. She couldn’t tell John now. Of course she couldn’t. She’d already been over that. She didn’t feel good about it, but this was how it needed to be.

For everyone’s sake.

Her mother said, hesitantly. “Lori, you need to invite your father, too.”

Her father was the last person she wanted there—him, Fiona, and the Hideous H’s. “How sweet. We could sit around and talk about old times. I could tell the sisters how their mom and dad met.”

“It’s not those girls’ fault. Let it go. It’s time.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes.”

“Without him even ever saying he’s sorry?”

“Yes.”

Tears burned her eyes. “I can’t do that.”

Her mother’s sigh slapped her in the face.

~

John held the door of the jewelry store open for Lori. She smiled up at him as she walked in. His sister-in-law Julie had told him to make sure to ask for a certain saleslady who was only in on Friday afternoons, but he’d be darned if he could remember her name.

Lori stopped at two octagonal cases. He recognized the Hummel and Lladró figurines inside, but only because his mother had collected them for years. Lori traced her finger lightly along the glass. Perhaps she’d want to collect them, too. The thought made him smile. Until he saw the price tag on one. “Holy smokes. I had no idea these were so expensive,” he said.

“That’s nothing. There’s the really expensive stuff,” Lori said, pointing to a U-shaped case. The right side held Rolexes and Omegas.

Glass display cases filled with more Hummel and Lladró figures and sterling silver necklaces outlined the perimeter of the store, while additional cases were arranged throughout the center of the store, creating a maze of sorts.

A salesman came up and smiled. “My name is Bruce. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Probably in his twenties, the guy was the same height as John, but looked like he spent all his off-hours at the gym.

“We’d like to buy a ring.” John squeezed Lori’s hand. More specifically, a very large, incredibly impressive, more-than-ten-cows ring to top anything his brothers had given any of their wives.

“How exciting.” Bruce smiled warmly. “Have you set the date?”

“Not yet,” said Lori.

“But soon,” said John, not wanting to put it off.

When Lori smiled up at him, joy filled him. He was still amazed that this beautiful woman wanted him in her life as much as he wanted her in his.

“Would you like a matching set? Or would you prefer to choose your engagement ring and customize your wedding band?”

“Customize,” said John, quickly.

Lori laughed. “Whatever the man says.”

Bruce stepped behind one of the long cases. “Which cut do you prefer?”

And that began an endless round of questions and answers. Bruce brought them rings that fit what Lori and John wanted. Trays of rings were brought out and set on top of the cases. Lori and John studied each one, and she tried on quite a few, but so far nothing had brought the kind of reaction he was hoping for.

And then she gasped.

The salesman smiled, his hand hovering. “This one?”

She nodded and whispered, “I love it.”

The ring was pretty, but the diamond was pathetically small compared to what John had in mind. “Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer a diamond that’s a little . . . larger?”

“Now that’s something I don’t hear often,” said the salesman as he handed the ring to John. “Go ahead. Put it on your lovely bride and see how it looks on her finger.”

John took Lori’s hand and realized his own was trembling slightly. He slipped the ring on her ring finger.

Lori held up her hand. “It’s beautiful, John. I love it.”

“It would be more beautiful with a bigger stone.”

She laughed. “I’m okay with this one, but if you want a bigger stone, who am I to complain?” She turned back to Bruce with a smile. “Give the man a larger stone.”

“How large of a stone would you like?”

“At least one carat in an excellent quality diamond.” That ought to do it. He didn’t pay much attention to engagement talk, but he had picked up on the fact that the largest diamond any of his sisters-in-law had was three-quarters of a carat.

The salesman’s eyes lit up. “Our jeweler is on the premises today. There’s usually a wait of two to three days, but I like your style. I’ll see if he can reset it right now, if you’d like.”

John smiled. “Yes. Thanks.”

As the salesman disappeared into the back of the store, Lori turned to John and touched his lips with her finger. “You are so funny.”

“Hey, I have to live with my brothers for a long time. And when they’re all telling eight-cow stories, I want my wife to have a ten-cow ring on her finger.”

“Ah, I understand. You want me to have the best cow story at your family dinner table.” She laughed, then kissed him. “I do love you, you know.”

“I know,” he said, a little breathless as he pulled her close. “And I love you, too. Very much.”

As they waited for the ring to be reset, they chose a wedding band for John, then wandered the store, admiring the expensive pieces of jewelry. They’d nearly made it around the perimeter when the door opened behind them and a familiar voice said, “There they are.”

“That sounds suspiciously like Clint.” John frowned and turned to discover not just Clint, but all three of his brothers, their wives, and his parents.

Clint grinned as he punched John on the shoulder. Hard. “Julie just happened to mention that you two were buying your rings today, so we decided to share this special moment with you.”

Lori was much more gracious than John felt. With a warm smile, she said, “I’m so glad you came. We just chose an engagement ring.”

As if on cue, the salesman returned, handed the now very large, incredibly impressive ring to John, who smiled and slipped it on Lori’s finger.

The ring exceeded all John’s expectations. This wasn’t a ten-cow ring—there were at least twelve cows grazing there.

The wives oohed and aahed as Lori held out her hand to show it off, and he heard a chorus of “It’s beautiful!” “It’s so big!” “Wow! I love it!”

Lori’s smile was beautiful to behold.

John turned to his brothers and grinned. “I win.”

~

Lori had done something she never had before, something she’d never thought she would: she’d read the entire Book of Mormon.

Though she’d finished it an hour ago, she couldn’t stop rereading the verses in Moroni. Chapter ten. Verses four and five.

Afraid to ask, afraid not to, she bought herself more time by reading the words yet again.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Carefully, Lori closed Charles’s Book of Mormon and placed it gently on the edge of the bed beside her. The worn brown leather looked right at home on Charles’s old-fashioned, faded, flowered bedspread.

As a child, she had walked those many steps to the front of the chapel and borne her testimony—just like so many other little kids on fast and testimony Sunday. Back then, she knew the Church was true, knew the Book of Mormon was true, knew her family would last forever.

But in truth, she’d come to realize that she’d known nothing that seemed to matter after her father left. When he’d walked out the door and turned his back on their family, she’d lost everything important to her, especially her hope and faith. Her father had taken many things from her, but she could see now, with a stab of remorse, that she had robbed herself of many more things because of her anger. She’d done what it said in the old saying: She’d cut off her nose to spite her face.

Now she wasn’t sure which would be worse, if the Book of Mormon was true . . . or if it wasn’t.

Finally, she could put off the prayer no longer. With her heart pounding, her hands cold, her fears swirling through her, Lori slid off the bed. Kneeling, she opened the Book of Mormon to Moroni’s challenge and read it one last time. She took a deep breath, and, holding the book in her hands, closed her eyes. She poured out her heart to the Father she’d turned her back on just like her earthly father had turned his back on her, the Father who had always been there for her.

Heavenly Father, I really want to know if this book is true. I have read the entire thing, with a sincere desire to know if it is true. I have felt the Spirit as I’ve read—Thy spirit of peace and comfort. Please, Father, if this book is true, let me know beyond any doubt, for I have so many doubts.

As she continued to pray, a peaceful warmth settled in her chest, filling her very breath with confirmation. The Spirit was so strong it couldn’t be contained in her body and flowed in tears down her cheeks. Warmth and love touched every cell in her body, filled every part of her aching soul, dispelled every doubt.

She prayed her thanks while the peaceful feeling calmed the very tears it had brought. It was the same calm, peaceful feeling she remembered from her childhood. The same calm, peaceful feeling she’d recognized and cherished when she’d been with John at church. The same calm, peaceful feeling she’d come to desire with all her heart.

She was in the light once again and never wanted to leave it.

Once again, Lori knew the truth.

THE GARDEN GURU

Dear Ms. Scott: I have a gardening dilemma. Actually, a life dilemma. Last year, I don’t know why (yes, I do—to impress her), I told my mother-in-law I grew some tomatoes, when I really bought them at a farmer’s market. Now she wants to know where I bought my plants, and I don’t know what to tell her. Help! (Name Withheld on Request)

Dear Name Withheld: I hate these kinds of dilemmas. It’s always so much easier to see the solution for someone else’s life than your own, isn’t it? You could tell her the truth and face her disappointment. Or you could say you’ve decided gardening was too much work and so this year you’re just going to buy your tomatoes at the farmer’s market. Open your phone book and find the name of a nursery to give her. If you live around Perry, I’d recommend Alpine Nursery. In the meantime, which farmer’s market do you shop at? I can always use some good tomatoes . . .