Chapter Twenty-Nine

John didn’t know how long he’d driven the mountain roads, but glancing at the clock, he was surprised to see it was nearly nine.

He’d driven, tormented, for three hours.

John was certainly aware eternity was forever and, in the eternal scheme of things, he’d have plenty of time for posterity with Lori. But the thought of having no children here and now ripped his heart in two. And the thought of not having Lori in his life hurt even worse.

He had to talk to someone.

His father.

He turned toward the house that had been home for him for nearly two decades. The home that was so often filled with children and grandchildren. The ache grew as he drove.

When he finally pulled into his parents’ driveway, he used his cell phone to call inside.

His father answered. “Why are you parked in the driveway?”

“Dad, I need to talk. No brothers, no wives, no other family. Just you. Will you come out, please?”

Without another word, his father came out and there, in the cab of his truck, John repeated the words Lori had used to blow him away like a fire hose blasting everything in its path.

His father sighed and leaned his head back against the headrest. After a moment, he asked, “Do you love Lori?”

“More than anything.”

“Did you pray about marrying her? I know you did.”

“Of course. But I want children, Dad. This is a hard concept for me to swallow—a whole lifetime of no children.”

“That is a tough one.”

“Plus part of me feels like Lori lied by not telling me before, even though I can understand why she wouldn’t.”

His father put a big hand on John’s shoulder. “Marriage is all about learning. In fact, I’ve heard it said your spouse is your greatest opportunity for spiritual growth. They do things that drive you to your knees. Even your saintly mother has done things that I’ve thought I might not be able to get over. You’ve just gotten one of those moments before the wedding ceremony, that’s all. You’ll have a head start on your marriage when it takes place.”

John sighed. “I know I’ll marry Lori. Of course I will. I just need some time to get used to this new view.”

His father nodded. “Lori’s a good woman who’s also hurting. The fact that she can’t have children must be very hurtful to her, especially when you want them so much. And you always have, from the time you were a little boy. I remember at your kindergarten graduation when all the kids went up to the microphone and said what they wanted to be when they grew up and you walked up and said you wanted to be a dad.”

John closed his eyes. Why did this have to be so hard?

His father said, “There’s always adoption.”

“I know.”

“If you adopt, they’ll become the children of your heart. You’ve already seen how that can happen.” His father sighed. “Look, son, it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to take time to make the right decision. It’s even okay if you don’t feel you can adopt.”

“I just need time to get used to the idea, that’s all.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

Finally, John said, “This is the hardest disappointment I’ve ever had to deal with.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish I could do more to help you.” His father squeezed his shoulder. “But I have faith in you. You’re a good man, John, and I know you’ll do the right thing.”

His father climbed out of the truck and walked back toward his house.

John sat there, aching. He still needed to talk with someone. Someone who could provide comfort for his broken heart.

His Father.

But before he could close his eyes to pray, the radio crackled into life.

~

Lori picked up her phone on the second ring.

“Lori, it’s me. John.”

She blinked back tears. It had only been a few hours since she’d told him the truth, but she’d gone through torture waiting for the call. “Hi.”

Her voice came out barely above a whisper. She didn’t know if he was calling to tell her he wanted to break things off or to tell her everything would be all right.

She could barely hear him, there was so much noise on his end of the line.

“I wanted you to know that our department has been called to the Uintah Mountains to help fight a huge brush fire. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I’ll call you when I get back.”

“Oh. Okay.”

He wasn’t giving her the clues she needed as to how he felt.

“It might be a couple of days before I can call again, but I will as soon as I get back. Don’t give up on me, okay?”

“I won’t,” she said, wishing she could trust him to come back, to forgive her.

“Lori, I love you.”

“I love you, too, John.”

“Gotta go, they’ve got the plane ready to fly over.”

She hung up the phone, disturbed. She knew he loved her. But did he love her enough to pursue a future with no children? Until she knew the answer to that question, she couldn’t relax.

She suspected the next few days would be torture while she waited for her man to come home, for him to decide if he really wanted her.

~

Out in the garden, Lori pulled what surely must be the last weed in the entire yard and wondered when she’d started using gardening to relax.

It had been three days since John had called, and she had cleaned everything inside and weeded everything outside trying to calm her nerves.

When she heard a vehicle that sounded like it had pulled into the driveway and then shut off, her heart pounded.

John! He’d come back!

She peeled off her gardening gloves and dropped them as she raced for the gate. Moving around the house quickly, it took a moment for reality to strike: the vehicle wasn’t John’s truck and the visitor wasn’t John.

A taxi sat in the driveway and the driver, a man about Lori’s age, was opening the trunk. The passenger stood by the side of the car. He was an older man—in his sixties, she’d guess—and not much taller than Lori. His unruly gray hair reminded her a little of Doc Brown’s in Back to the Future, though not quite as wild.

As Lori walked across the lawn, the older man looked at her, smiled, and extended his hand. “You must be Lori Scott.”

“I am,” she said as she shook his hand. But who was he?

“Charles Dobson.”

“Oh. Oh. I didn’t expect you yet.” He looked different from his grainy picture in the newspaper.

“Yes, well, I’ve returned from my trip a wee bit early.”

A wee bit, eh? Over two weeks early, but who was counting?

He picked up two bags and walked to the front door. Lori and the driver followed him with more luggage. Charles definitely did not travel light. There were more bags still on the grass.

After all the bags had been deposited in the living room and the taxi driver paid and gone, Charles said, “I believe the job description was for three months. I certainly don’t want my unexpected return to interfere with our agreement. I’m happy to go to a hotel—or pay for a hotel room for you, if you would prefer.”

“Oh, no. Really. That won’t be necessary.”

“I am so very glad to be home. China is an absorbing country, but truly, there is no place like home.”

Lori looked around his living room again, the old-fashioned room that had seemed so foreign and hopelessly outdated when she arrived. Now it seemed cozy. It felt like home. “I can see why you wanted to come back.”

“Yes. To my home and my girl, Fluffy.”

He’d come home for his cat? The one that wouldn’t leave Agatha’s yard? Boy, was he going to be disappointed.

“And Ben. How is he?”

“He still runs great.” And after dark, when people couldn’t see him.

“I would like to see what you’ve done with my column while I’ve been gone.” He started down the hall, only to stop. “Oh, my, you probably want to finish out the rest of your columns, don’t you?”

“The columns? Well, no, I guess not—not with you back.” The last thing she needed was a professional gardener looking over her shoulder and seeing the convoluted way she faked her work.

He smiled. “Thank you, my dear. I do feel ready to resume writing to my many fans. I’ve missed them.”

She pulled out the folder containing the clippings of her articles.

He settled on the den sofa. As he read, his eyebrows raised and he uttered an occasional “Oh, my!”

“Do you like what I’ve done?” she asked, surprisingly worried he wouldn’t.

“You have a very interesting style, my dear. But, yes. I like it. I suspect my hard-core fans were a bit shaken, but no doubt others have enjoyed it immensely.”

“You’re very aware of your fans. That’s exactly what Mr. Neal said happened.”

He pulled out the last few clippings and read on.

Freezing in place, he raised his eyebrows. “I notice my zucchini chicken curry recipe made it into print.”

“Agatha said you’d been promising to put the recipe into your column and that you’d just forgotten. She said you’d be glad I put it in.”

“Oh, she did, did she?” He turned to Lori, but she couldn’t read his expression. Was he upset? Amused? Worried? “Agatha has been trying to obtain this recipe from me for years—as well as my cat. Well, we’ll see about that.”

Lori pressed both palms to her face. She’d screwed up big-time. “Charles, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear. You’re not to blame. But now, if you’ll excuse me, I have something to settle.”

Through the window, she watched him do a funny little jumping walk over to Agatha’s door. She really should call and warn the older woman, but there wasn’t time now.

Suddenly feeling empty, Lori sighed. Charles was surely disappointed in her. Soon Agatha would be upset with her, too. And it had been three days since John had looked at her with such hurt in his eyes and then disappeared.

She knew from everything he’d said and everything she’d observed that he did not want an infertile woman, but he was too nice of a guy to know how to break it off with her.

Her heart wrenched. She needed to do the right thing. For his sake. He deserved to have children.

With Charles back, she was free to leave. And if she left now, gave John back his ring, freed him from the promise he’d made before he knew the truth, he could marry Dawn and have the children he wanted so much.

It was the unselfish thing for her to do. She couldn’t give him children of her own. But she could give him back the opportunity to have them with someone else.

Though her heart wrenched again, Lori knew she was doing the right thing. It was time to go home. Back to her mother’s home in Schenectady.

Back to a world without John.