• North and south = mouth.
• Plates of meat = feet.
• Mince pies = eyes.
• Boat race = face.

In series 12, the Part-Time Poets made good use of their minces and thought quickly on their plates to score 2 points.

We have ‘transformed’ English words that derive half from Greek and half from Latin by flipping them around: we’ve changed the Greek part at the start of each word into a Latin equivalent, and the Latin part at the end of each word into a Greek equivalent

• Television (‘tele’ from Greek ≈ ‘remotus’ from Latin; ‘vision’ from Latin ≈ ‘optic’ from Greek)
• Automobile
• Hexadecimal
• Monolingual

Obviously since these aren’t real words there’s no true authority on the ‘right’ way to do them.

In a series 7 semi-final, the Francophiles (Galliamatores?) scored 1 point against the Cartophiles.

• Bob Hope impersonator: requested by Iggy Pop.
• Physician to inject vitamin B12: Prince – a famous request in the 1990s.
• 20 white kittens: Mariah Carey – although previously rumoured requests for (e.g.) ‘six kittens to stroke’ may be an urban myth, she did request kittens to be around her feet (and 100 doves to be released) when turning on the Christmas lights at London’s Westfield shopping centre in 2009. The request was refused.
• M&Ms (no brown ones): Van Halen – from 1982. The request was deliberately ridiculous so as to check whether the promoter had followed the small print of the contract properly.

The Antiquarians let this slip, but their opponents the Fantasy Footballers picked up a bonus point.

The grotesquely inflated rider requests of Only Connect teams are legendary, ranging all the way from ‘a glass of water’ to ‘a cup of tea, please, if it’s not too much trouble’.

• The disputed region of Kashmir is divided between India, Pakistan and China.
• The Pyrenees mountain range separates Spain and France, and incorporates Andorra.
• Africa’s largest lake is divided between Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania.
• The world’s third largest island, divided between Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei (the latter being wholly located on the island).

A bonus point for the Psmiths against the Wayfarers.

• John Bruton served less than three years as Taoiseach (Irish head of government): December 1994 to June 1997.
• Urban VII was elected Pope on 15 September 1590 but died of malaria 12 days later, before his consecration, and became the shortest serving Pope in history.
• George Canning was Tory PM for four months in 1827 before he died. His advocacy of Catholic emancipation was not popular with many leading politicians, and personal animosities took a toll on his health.
• Paul McGann was the eighth Doctor – he appeared in only one 90-minute episode.

An outstanding 3-pointer for the Psmiths against the Verbivores.

• From Birmingham International, you can get a plane to Europe, Africa, Asia or the Americas.
• Stratford International doesn’t actually take you anywhere international. It is on the HS1, but the Eurostar doesn’t stop there (as it was hoped it would).
• From Harwich International, you can get a boat to the Netherlands or Denmark.
• From Waterloo International, you could have travelled to Belgium or France (by Eurostar) before the Eurostar terminal moved to St Pancras.

1 point for the Orienteers (knowing their way to get around) against the QI Elves.

ACCEPT: liver, fish oils, eggs, vitamin supplements, fortified cereals, fortified milk

• Vitamin A is formed from β-carotene, found in carrots.
• Yeasty spreads such as Marmite contain Vitamin B.
• Humans cannot synthesize vitamin C; the main source is citrus fruits and vegetables.
• Vitamin D is produced in skin exposed to sunlight.

A very impressive 3 points for the Operational Researchers against the Spaghetti Westerners, in the match that holds the record for the longest aggregate number of letters in the teams’ names, some way ahead of second place: Cambridge Quiz Society vs Oxford Librarians in series 2, and third place: Edinburgh Scrabblers vs Solent Scrabblers in series 1.

For example, ONE: O is the 15th letter of the alphabet, N is the 14th and E is the 5th

The Korfballers picked up 20 + 8 + 18 + 5 + 5 points on this, in their series 20 + 23 + 5 + 12 + 22 + 5 match against the Fire-Eaters.

ACCEPT: ‘The Congress of Vienna ends’, or anything else that happened in 1815

• Magna Carta signing: 1215.
• Battle of Agincourt: 1415.
• Don Quixote by Cervantes: 1615.
• Battle of Waterloo: 1815.

In series 5, the Listeners seized on this for 3 points against the Rowers.

If the sequence were to continue, the most significant event of 2015 for the next clue would be ‘The Orienteers win series 10 of Only Connect.’

ACCEPT: any first conjugation Latin verb, e.g. porto, do, lavo

DON’T ACCEPT: any verb from any other conjugation

• audio – fourth conjugation, means ‘I hear’.
• lego – third conjugation, means ‘I read’.
• video – second conjugation, means ‘I see’.
• amo – first conjugation, means ‘I love’.

3 points on this for the Wayfarers against the Yorkers. When it was on the show, the question was a little easier than this, as each clue was preceded by its conjugation number. We decided to make it harder again for the book.

ACCEPT: any single album

• Zaireeka was a 1997 quadruple album by The Flaming Lips, where each CD was intended to be played simultaneously.
• Sandinista! was a 1980 triple album by The Clash.
• Songs in the Key of Life was a 1976 double album by Stevie Wonder.
• Pet Sounds was a 1966 (single) album by The Beach Boys.

A valuable 2 points for the Athenians in their series 11 match against the Bookworms.

Microsoft skipped 9 and went to 10; some joke that this is because ‘7 ate 9’; a more plausible theory is that many existing programs use ‘Windows 9’ or ‘Windows 9X’ to refer to the old versions 95 and 98

The Wayfarers unpicked this to score 3 points against the Builders.

CHILDREN IN NEED 2013

Clare Balding

‘It was a tie-breaker – captains only. My wife Alice Arnold was the opposing team captain and we were both very nervous. We’d played one match already, for Sport Relief, which I’d won so I genuinely wanted her to win this one. But as soon as I heard the tie-break would be missing vowels, I knew I’d got it. I mouthed “sorry” at her. If it was a numbers question, Alice would have won. She still minds. It still brings her out in a cold sweat. It is the hardest I’ve ever had to concentrate on a show ever.’