Chapter Twenty-Eight

Meg squeezed her eyes shut in the hope when she opened them she’d be back on the couch at Laura’s. Surely being pinned under a naked Michael Monaghan in a high class hotel was a nightmare brought on by eating too many potato chips right after breakfast? When she finally looked up into the face of a grinning policeman she knew it was no dream. His portly middle-aged partner appeared equally amused.

The younger officer rested a hand on the edge of the mattress and stared at them. “Does one of you want to tell me what all the screaming was about?”

Unable to move, Meg shook her head. Michael had buried his face in the pillow next to her when the door opened. He let out a loud groan, which the cop apparently interpreted as a no. Meg was relieved. If they all kept their mouths shut, the police might assume it was some strange three-way sex thing and let them all go with a warning to keep the noise down. Her relief was short lived when Maud grabbed the young officer’s sleeve. Apparently Maud wasn’t nearly as shy as they were, and completely clueless about the potential consequences of telling the truth.

“I’m glad you’re here, officers. You need to arrest them both for fraud.” She waved a blood red tipped, gnarled finger at the bed. “He refuses to provide the goods I paid for, and she sold me a dud.”

The cop closest to the bed looked Michael up and down, obviously wondering where he’d stashed the goods. “What’s she selling?”

“I paid good money for sex. I even went to the Purple Pomegranate on Mallard and bought exotic condoms and an extra large bottle of lube.” She whispered, “When you get to my age some things don’t work as well as they used to, but you’d think a young man with such a huge ding dong would be able to perform. I’ve seen firmer Twinkies and yet he calls himself a prostitute. If I wanted to play with a limp worm I would visit Mr. Kranston in room 405 for free. I often while away an hour or two trying to raise the dead, helps with my technique. Mrs. Kranston tells me he hasn’t had an erection since 1986.”

Michael might have been having trouble getting it up for Maud, but he was doing fine now, if the hardness pressing into her thigh was anything to go by.

The young cop fought hard to keep a stupid smirk off his face as he turned his attention back to Meg and Michael. “You want to get off the bed and let him put some clothes on? I don’t know what’s going on but if the story she’s telling me is right then I think we should continue this discussion at the station. All three of you have some questions to answer.”

She should never have gone along with Laura’s hare brained business idea. Her life was completely unraveling. Unless they talked their way out of the situation, she would face the wrath of her mother and the real possibility of never getting a legitimate job again.

If she couldn’t join a convent, the circus might be an option. Why the hell not? Her life had become one, besides anything would be better than the humiliation of being a pimp. She was a complete failure, even as a purveyor of sex. She hadn’t managed to sell sex to anyone, so she could hardly seek solace amongst the town’s criminal element on Henley Street. They would laugh at her.

The cop grabbed her arm and tried to pull her from under Michael.

She squealed as a chunk of hair ripped out of her head. “I can’t get off the bed. My hair’s caught in the cuffs.”

The officer tugged at her hair, undeterred by shrieks and complaints from Meg. Once untangled she wiggled free of Michael and the officer helped her onto her feet.

“Sir?”

“What?”

Meg stared at the back of Michael’s head. So far he had managed to keep his identity hidden and now she was beginning to wonder why.

“Sir, look at me.”

Slowly, Michael turned his face and the cop grinned. “Michael Monaghan.”

“Officer Clarke.”

He chuckled. “I thought I recognized that bare backside.”

Meg glanced from one to the other. “Am I missing something?”

Michael sighed. “We’ve met before. Long story.”

Maud tugged at the older officer’s sleeve. “So, Officer?”

He glanced at her. “Mitchell, Ma’am.”

“Officer Mitchell, are you arresting them?”

“Before we charge anyone we need to make more enquiries, back at the station. First things first, they’ll both need to get dressed.”

Michael tugged his hands, rattling the cuffs. “And how am I supposed to do that when I’m shackled to the bed?”

Officer Clarke glanced from one of them to the other. “Who has the key to the cuffs?”

Meg shook her head. Maud shrugged and shuffled her feet, giving her a decidedly shifty appearance. Clarke turned back to Michael. “Have you got them?”

“If I did, do you think I’d still be attached to the bed? They’re in the pocket of my jeans.”

“And where are your jeans?”

Michael glared at Maud. “Ask her, she ran off with them.”

Everyone turned and stared at Maud who shrugged. Officer Clarke sighed loudly. “Ma’am the sooner we get him uncuffed the sooner we can sort this out.”

“I tossed them out the bathroom window, along with the rest of his belongings. I thought having no way to free himself might make him a little more cooperative. Besides, I don’t appreciate some of the things he said about me. Young people today have no respect for the elderly. We might be old but we still have our dignity.”

Meg couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter. Officer Mitchell crossed to the window, but not before Meg saw his stomach jiggle as he held in his own amusement.

* * * *

It took the arrival of two more very amused cops, and a thorough search of the alley to determine Michael’s clothes were long gone. Just when Meg thought they would have to call the fire brigade to rescue Michael the appropriate size key was procured from the police station and the cuffs removed.

Michael sat naked on the edge of the bed rubbing his wrists. It didn’t escape Meg’s attention the female cop, Delaney, seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of interest in Michael’s well-being. The huge flaccid dick resting on his muscle bound thigh had nothing to do with the officer’s attentions, she was sure.

Officer Clarke laid a hand on Meg’s shoulder, drawing her attention back to him. Apparently he had asked her a question and she missed it.

“Sorry?”

“The old lady says you’re her niece. We found a raincoat belonging to her in the closet but she refuses to wear it to the station. The hotel would appreciate it if we keep this as low key as possible, besides, I don’t think she would really want the world to see her dressed that way. Could you have a word?”

Meg snorted. He didn’t know Maud very well, appearing in public dressed as a a vamp would make her day, besides she was wearing a damn sight more than some, and yet they wanted her to cover up. She glanced at Michael. “What about him?”

“We’re getting a robe sent up.” He fought but lost the battle to keep a smile from curling up the corners of his mouth. “Apparently your Aunt tossed them out the window as well.”

Meg glanced at Maud who was in a deep and animated discussion with Officer Mitchell. Looking back at Clarke, she let out a loud sigh. “I’ll see what I can do.”

She crossed the room and addressed the cop. “Can I speak to, Maud? Your colleague thinks I might have more luck.”

He shrugged and backed off a little.

Meg turned her attention back to her aunt. Despite the prospect of being carted off to jail she had lost none of her determination and righteous indignation about her afternoon’s activities being cut short.

She glared at Meg. “Why am I being taken to the cop shop? I’m the innocent victim in all this. I should be getting a full refund or replacement goods. Ones that work!” She bellowed in Michael’s direction, which earned her a fierce glare from the now robed Irishman.

Meg sighed. Of all the relatives she got lumbered with the craziest. “Maud, just put the damn coat on so we can get this over with. You’ll get your money back, I promise. If you hadn’t opened your mouth when the police arrived none of us would be going to the station, but you did, so now we’re all in it up to our necks. Hiring prostitutes is an offence the same as renting them out.”

Maud stared at her. “Really? Good Lord. So I’ll get a criminal record then?” A wide grin spread across her wrinkled face.

Meg put her face in her hands, only Maud could be happy about being a criminal.

Alone in a cell, Meg hugged her knees to her chest and hid her face from view. Things could be worse she supposed. At least Maud had finally given in and worn the raincoat to cover the negligee. She’d also managed to persuade her to put her teeth back in and remove the blond Marilyn Monroe wig. There had been quite a crowd watching the police escort them from the building.

Despite urging Maud to play dumb and say nothing, she had a horrible feeling she would do no such thing. She was relishing seeing her face on TV as a hardened criminal. Why couldn’t Michael just let her blow him? Meg shuddered. He might be an annoying shit but she wouldn’t wish that on him. Wait until she caught up with Laura, it should be her sitting on the steel bed staring at bare walls. No one in their right mind would have taken a booking from Aunt Maud and assumed it would end well.

Maybe when it was her turn she could say Aunt Maud was mentally unstable and the whole thing was a mix up. Although that didn’t explain why she was lying underneath a handcuffed naked man while an elderly vamp watched.

The door to the cell swung open and Officer Clarke peered in at her.

“Okay, time for you to tell your side.”