An Almighty Gloosh

‘Beautiful railway bridge of the silv’ry Tay

Alas! I am very sorry to say

That ninety lives have been taken away

On the last Sabbath day of 1879,

Which will be remember’d for a very long time.’

Loyal McGonagall fans all on their way

To a village hall near Inveraray

Where the poet was to read the very next day.

And so enthusiastic were they, and so proud

That they recited his poems aloud

On the train, on the bridge over the River Tay.

But the rhymes were so lumpen

And the rhythm so dumpity-dumpen

That each iron girder and rafter

Shook with uncontrollable laughter

And the bridge quivered and shivered, and catastrophé

It collapsed and fell into the silv’ry Tay.

With an almighty gloosh, the train disappears

Taking with it ninety pairs of cloth ears.

Och! It must have been an awful sight

To witness in the dusky moonlight.

But luckily for Scottish literature

The poet was at home, of that I am sure.

Tucked up in bed all warm and cosy

Wi’ a wee dram and a slab of Dundee cake,

And for the sake of those who perished in the silv’ry Tay

He postponed his performance until the following day.