Yak ad Infinitum

In Tibet there is an ancient tradition

of making sculptures of trees and flowers

using butter made from the milk of yaks.

On the night of the Great Prayer Festival

crowds gaze at the carved figures

in the flickering light of yak butter lamps.

As night passes, the butter begins to melt

and by dawn it is all over, its transience

intrinsic to the sacred nature of the event.

* * *

The art’s most famous exponent was Renko

who, before becoming a Buddhist monk,

had gone to Paris in the nineteen twenties

to study sculpture and pursue his dream

of catching syphilis and dying in poverty.

He was soon burning the candle at both ends,

working feverishly during the day in his atelier

and drinking all night in the bars of Montmartre

with many of the leading Surrealists, including

Dali, Duchamp, Magritte and Picasso.

Eventually, tiring of debauchery and excess,

he swapped absinthe for incense,

the Moulin Rouge for the prayer wheel,

the velvet beret for the shaven head

and returned home to join a monastery.

But his artistic impulse could not be denied

and once channelled into the ancient art

of yak butter sculpture, burning genius

coupled with his passion for surrealism

earned him the title, the Salvador Dali Lama.

Not all his early pieces were entirely successful.

‘The Wash Basin’, for instance, clearly inspired

by Marcel Duchamp’s urinal, quickly melted

into a yellow sludge once the taps were turned on

and disappeared down its own plughole.

Moreover his eight-armed Venus de Milo

based on Durga the Hindu goddess

almost had him run out of town. And the less said

about the killer shark, carved out of butter

and deep-fried in batter, the better.

His reputation was quickly restored, however,

by the sequence known as ‘Yak ad Infinitum’

for which, from a massive slab of butter,

he carved a life-size model of the animal

standing noble and proud at over six foot.

Then came the stroke, or rather squeeze,

of genius. He set to work milking the sculpture

and was able to collect enough milk, which,

when churned, provided all the butter needed

to make another yak equal in size to the original.

A lesser artist might have stopped there

but not Renko. Once again it was out

with the milking stool, and he was rewarded

with enough butter to create a third animal

even more magnificent than its predecessors.

A fourth followed, then a fifth, and it seemed

as if this simple monk would go on forever

replicating buttermilk yaks. The art world

was beginning to take notice, when suddenly,

one warm summer’s night, tragedy struck.

Whoever started the fire and turned his studio

into a blazing inferno, we will never know.

A superstitious monk? A jealous Dadaist ?

Perhaps a band of herdsmen, fearing a butter glut

had swooped down from the Himalayas.

A lifetime’s work was destroyed, and clarified lava

buttered the surrounding hillsides and scalded

whatever lay in its path as it poured through the valley.

Over the mountains a pall of rancid, green smog

hung for months, suffocating whole herds of yak.

And Renko perished. But it is rumoured

that on the night of the Great Prayer Festival

the gaze of the crowd is drawn heavenwards

above the flickering light of the butter lamps

to a place far beyond our imaginings.

A blood-red moon, a cloudless sky,

a herd of yak stretching ad infinitum

moves slowly between the stars

before dissolving into smoke, its transience

intrinsic to the sacred memory of the event.