Lizzie
‘I have to tell you, that as a mother to a little girl,’ Debbie said, passing Lizzie a steaming mug of tea, ‘I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for your parents, as well as for you.’
‘I try and focus on the positives,’ Lizzie replied, watching the steam rising from her mug. ‘They’ve put so much of their lives on hold to nurse me through my previous tumours. My dad lost his job as an engineer the second time because he had to take so much time off whilst I was in hospital. He was out of work for a long time, and ended up a delivery driver for a supermarket. Their lives would’ve been so different now if they hadn’t made so many sacrifices because of me.
‘Now they can focus on themselves, enjoy retirement and be there for Aaron. He needs them too.’ A sadness wrapped itself around her. Aaron’s face in Dr Habibi’s office flashed in her mind. The wide eyes and the trembling lip. The age gap between them should have made them distant, worlds apart, but it hadn’t. She’d loved him from the moment she’d held him in her arms. Lizzie had never asked her mum why they’d waited eleven years to have Aaron, probably because she knew the answer. It was Lizzie’s fault. Lizzie’s tumours putting her parents’ lives, their plans, on hold. Well, not anymore.
‘I’m sure they don’t see it as a sacrifice. Being a parent is your life; it’s not something you do for a few years in-between jobs. I would stop at nothing to help my children.’
‘How old are they?’ Lizzie asked, fighting to keep her voice level as Debbie’s words sliced into her.
‘Samuel is four, although he’d want me to tell you that he’s almost five. And Faith is three. This is the first time I’ve left them for more than a few hours. I told them the other day I was going …’
A pain began to throb across Lizzie’s head. Blobs of white, the same piercing colour as the camera flashes in the stadium, appeared in her vision. She gritted her teeth and struggled to keep the tears from falling. Aaron’s voice replayed in her head. They do understand what you’re doing. I know it doesn’t seem that way, but they do. We all do. The more days that passed, the less she knew herself what she was doing on this trip.
‘… but they didn’t cry. I cried, of course. Sobbed my heart out at the check-in desk, but they just laughed and went with Carl to get a hot chocolate.’
Lizzie blew on her tea again before taking a long sip just as the dressing-room door flew open.
‘Debbie, have you seen—’ Guy stepped into the room. His eyes moved from Lizzie to Debbie and the half-smile returned. He poked his head out of the room. ‘Don, I’ve found her. Make sure the girls have everything they need in the blue room, and tell them Lizzie is fine.’
He closed the door and stepped into the room. The hot liquid continued to scold the inside of her mouth, but all of a sudden she couldn’t swallow.
‘Lizzie, I think I owe you an apology,’ he said.
Debbie nodded from beside her as Guy cleared some space on the coffee table and sat down opposite them.
‘I got a bit carried away with the set. It’s just, you’ve been on my mind for weeks and I just keep thinking, what if it was me, what would I do? And I’m pretty sure that I’d spend the three months holed up in my flat, drinking my sorrows away, crying and yelling at everyone who’d listen about how unfair it all is. But you’ve said, sod it. You’re not feeling sorry for yourself, you’re—’
Finally, she swallowed the tea swilling in her mouth. ‘A blubbering mess.’
‘No, you’re so brave. Seriously, I’m in total awe of you.’
A lump ballooned in her throat. ‘You’re wrong,’ she whispered. ‘I’m not brave.’
Lizzie saw a look pass between Guy and his sister, but she didn’t care.
‘I need a clean T-shirt,’ Guy said, standing up. ‘Those stage lights were like heaters tonight.’ He hopped over the suitcase to the other side of the dressing room. ‘Made yourself at home a bit here, Debs.’
‘Sorry. I got cold and tried to find a jumper. Turns out I forgot to pack one.’
‘You forgot something? But you’re the most organised person I know.’ He laughed, pulling his T-shirt over his head and throwing it to the floor. Lizzie’s mouth dropped open. She was drinking a cup of English tea backstage at a music concert, and Guy Rawson was standing topless in front of her. The day was getting stranger by the minute, and yet there was something so normal about Guy, now that he wasn’t on stage holding a guitar and serenading her, that was. He might be a mega superstar, but he was also someone’s little brother, who got carried away and made mistakes, something she could relate to.
‘I’m only organised with the kids,’ Debbie said. ‘When it’s just me, it’s a different story.’
Lizzie drained the last of her tea and tried not to ogle Guy’s bare torso. ‘I should probably find Samantha and Jaddi.’ She stood up. ‘Thanks for the tea, Debbie. It was nice to meet you.’
‘And you,’ Debbie said, smiling.
‘Woah, woah, woah.’ Guy pulled a different black T-shirt over his head and looked at Lizzie. ‘You don’t get away from me that easily. Your friends are in the blue room, chatting to The Rocket Boys, where food and drinks are currently being served. I thought you might like to come along. Plus the fact that if you leave me alone with my sister, then she is going to start nagging me about the state of my personal life.’
‘I am not,’ Debbie said.
Guy tilted his head and furrowed his forehead as he looked across at Debbie.
She laughed. ‘For your information, I was going to wait until breakfast for that.’
‘The joys of big sisters.’ Guy laughed. ‘Come on then, you two, this way.’
Before they could reach the door it swung open and a bald shiny head appeared. ‘Guy, sorry to disturb you, but we’ve got some bloke at the VIP entrance claiming to be with your guests. We’ve told him to do one, but he says he’s not going anywhere until he has seen for himself that Lizzie’s all right.’
Guy nodded. ‘One of yours?’ he asked, smiling at Lizzie.
‘Sounds a lot like our cameraman, Ben,’ Lizzie said as a flush crept over her cheeks.
Guy turned back to the head in the doorway. ‘Thanks, Don. Let him through and show him to the blue room.’
‘Gotcha.’