1604
The news came as we were approaching Moulton, north of Northampton. I was exhausted and weary of the journey. We had just arrived at the viscount’s house and I had gone straight to bed, leaving Alexander to deal with the servants and the little prince and our hosts. I had no energy at all; the past few days and indeed weeks had been so tiring. What I next remember is a loud slamming noise as the door flung open and my husband stood there, a candle in his hand. He came towards me and I saw his face was pale and he did not smile.
“Grizel, I have just had news from Fyvie.” He sat down on the bed and took my hand. Dear God, what had happened?
“It is not good, I’m afraid. Indeed, it is deeply sad. Prepare yourself for what I am about to tell you.” He eased himself up the bed beside me.
My heart raced as I braced myself for the news that our little daughter had died in her sleep. Many small babies did. I took a deep breath.
“Grizel, the letter informed me that Charles, our son, is dead.”
“NO!” A great wail filled the room, followed by loud howls. I then threw myself at Alexander, hitting him with my fists. He grabbed onto me as my legs and arms thrashed and flailed.
“This is your fault! I said we must never leave him!” I flung myself back onto the bed and my chest heaved with sobs.
“Don’t be foolish, Grizel. It was no one’s fault.”
“We left him and so she was able to get near, I said we must never leave him…” 206
He swept back the hair from my forehead. “What on earth are you talking about? You are raving now,” he said leaning in close. “Desist!”
I wiped my tears with my sleeve then whimpered, “How did he die?”
Alexander took a deep breath. “The letter says Nurse had put him to sleep as usual and he had only a little cough, nothing serious. By the morning, he was dead. He must have died peacefully in his sleep.” He glanced at me. “It happens you know, but don’t worry, we will have another son.”
“I don’t want another son, I want Charles! Had we been there, he would not have died.” I shouted. “I want to go home NOW!”
“Will you calm yourself, woman!” he hissed, grabbing my wrists tight. “Now listen very carefully. We will continue on to Northampton as planned. We will return Prince Charles to the King and Queen and attend Court with them for the week as has been arranged for some time. And then go home after that. Do you understand?” His face was so close to mine I could see the veins in his lined forehead bulging as he spoke.
I threw myself onto the bed and cried and cried. I heard him rise from the bed and head for the door. “I shall have your maid bring you some wine with something added to it to make you sleep. Then in the morning we will continue as normal. I hope that is understood.”
I buried my head in the pillow, wishing I had the courage to suffocate myself, but I knew I did not. As I heard the door close to, I looked up towards the window where a shaft of moonlight had burst through the clouds. The light shone onto the necklace from my parure, which I had discarded on the table without even putting it away, I had been so exhausted. The emeralds gleamed a brilliant green.
Then I sat upright and gasped as the sudden realisation of what 207 had happened at Fyvie struck me. Even though I’d agreed to give our baby daughter her name, an idea to placate her, I presumed, she had come in the night and taken our son. For this was the one and only thing she herself could not provide my husband with. She had taken my baby son for herself as if mocking me. It was her, the Green Lady, Lilias Seton.
Jeannie came into the room, set down a cup of wine into which she stirred some tincture, and gave it to me. She had tears in her eyes. Even though we did not get on at all, she too was a mother and so must be feeling my loss.
“Thank you,” I managed to utter before I downed the wine and fell back onto the pillow, praying that if sleep did not take me, then death might.