Chapter 5

My stomach did a little roll. “Mmmbluh.” Of course, I didn’t mean to say this; it just popped out.

Mrs. Kenly looked at me. “Are you all right, dear?”

I’m telling you, she’s the nicest person in the entire universe, even if she is wearing a coat made out of small brown animals.

“MMMBBluh. I’m fine, thanks.”

“You look a little green.” Mrs. Kenly’s eyebrows went all worried.

I FELT a little green, a LOT green, and when I thought about the color green, I felt even greener.

The ant song got louder:

“THE ANTS GO MARCHING
THIRTEEN BY THIRTEEN,
HOORAH, HOORAH . . .“

Even though I felt about to explode, I wondered what they could possibly rhyme with thirteen—green, maybe?

That did it.

“MMMMMMNDBLLLLL AAAHHHHHHH!”

It went all over my lap, which was covered with Mrs. Kenly’s beautiful fur coat. You could almost hear the little brown animals go, “Awwww, GROSS!” with their mouths all snarly.

But Mrs. Kenly just said, “Oh, dear.”

Everybody in the car turned to look, of course, even Mr. Kling, who was driving. He pulled right over. “Oh, my,” he said. “You poor kid.”

Mrs. Kling said, “My gosh, Sue, your coat.”

“Oh, it’ll live.” Mrs. Kenly gave me a tissue that had pictures of the Eiffel Tower on it and helped me wipe my mouth. I wished

I was dead. Well, not dead exactly, but unconscious or on top of the Eiffel Tower, far away.

“Let’s get some air, kidlet.” Me and Mrs.

Kenly got out of the car into the thousand below. Everyone else just kind of stared. Mr. Kling turned down the volume on the ball game a little, but you could still hear the Bears fans cheering, going wild.

I was so embarrassed, I felt like I was on fire. I wanted them to just leave me there by the road and drive away so I wouldn’t have to be in the car, all on fire.

“I’m soooo sorry, Mrs. Kenly.” I couldn’t look at her.

“It’s all right, sweetie, don’t worry.” Even though she was the nicest person in the universe, her face looked a little bit like, well, like someone just threw up on her. She dabbed at the mess with another Eiffel Tower tissue.

“Are you all right, honey?” Mrs. Kling asked. “Would you like us to take you home?”

“NOOOO!” I said. I mean, I DID want to go home, of course, so I could lock myself in the bathroom and YELL until the embarrassment went away (which would probably take about fifty years). But I didn’t want to cause any more trouble. “I mean, no, thanks, I’m fine. Let’s just go.” I smiled, but I’m sure it looked really fake.

“Are you sure, kidlet?” Mrs. Kenly asked.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll be fine.” Yeah, I’ll be fine, in about the year 2059.

Back in the van, Emma asked if I was okay and Courtney offered me some watermelon gum.

“Yes, I mean, I’m fine, no, thanks.” I smiled some more. (Totally fake.)

We took off and my stomach still felt weird, but I clenched my teeth and sealed my mouth shut: I was SOOO NOT going to barf again.