Ella was twenty-four years old when she returned to the farm – she felt at least fifty-four – and little Violet was two. She was a pretty child and good at amusing herself. Rosie adored her and, so Ella sometimes thought, spoiled her. Even William, although he had not yet forgiven her for failing to be the son he craved, could not entirely resist her. Ella, claiming to have not yet recovered from the birth of her stillborn son, kept William at arm’s length.
Only the thought of the report that Edwin would send to Ella’s father kept William there. His eyes strayed frequently to Rosie, just going on eighteen. She had developed generous curves over the last year or so, making him think of a ripe plum about to fall. He just wanted to be there when she did.
The opportunity came sooner than he expected.
A letter came in the mail from Alice Sanders addressed to both Ella and William. Ella opened it, something she would not have done if she had thought it was something to do with business, but she thought of Alice Sanders as her personal friend rather than a mutual one. She was surprised when a card dropped out of the envelope and even more surprised to see it was a wedding invitation. Beth Sanders was marrying.
Ella had met her fiancé when she stayed there. David Trembath was another lawyer, an old friend of Edwin’s. The enclosed note from Alice explained that he would be starting up a branch of Sanders in Bendigo. Ella was glad for both Beth and her mother that she would not be going far away. She put the note in the pocket of her apron and the invitation on one side to show to William, hoping but not expecting that he would be prepared to accept.
She was not surprised when he refused, but was astonished when he urged her to go.
‘Go for a couple of nights. Rosie can manage here.’
‘What about Violet?’
‘You can leave her here. She’ll be fine with Rosie.’
William had no wish to go himself; Edwin would be sure to be playing a major role at his sister’s wedding. William thoroughly disliked him and blamed him, unfairly, for most of his own troubles, but he had no wish to antagonize him. Farming was proving a far tougher game than he had imagined and he was hoping for some more financial assistance from his father-in-law.
So great was Ella’s pleasure at this unexpected break in the dreary sameness of her days that she was even able to repress her guilt at leaving Violet and dismiss the thought that William might seize the chance to take advantage of Rosie.
Her niggling doubts and concerns evaporated when she saw Edwin waiting for her at the station. She glanced round anxiously, wondering if his wife was with him, but no; she would be waiting at the house in comfort. As if divining her thoughts, Edwin told her that he was alone as his wife was not up to the journey to Bendigo. Ella felt a prick of elation as he placed his hand under her elbow to steer her gently out of the station.
In the bustle and excitement of sending the newly married couple off after the wedding party at the Sanderses house, Ella thought of her own wedding and how things had turned out. With all her heart, she hoped things would be better for Beth. When Edwin materialized at her side, she turned and smiled a little shakily.
‘I can relax now we’ve seen them on their way. I didn’t realize how arduous it was being the father of the bride.’ As Beth’s older brother, it had fallen on Edwin to take on this role.
‘She is lucky to have you – and to be starting her married life so close to you all,’ Ella remarked, unable to keep the wistful note out of her voice as a wave of homesickness swept through her. She turned away from him to hide the tears in her eyes.
Later, when the party was still in full swing, she stood by the window looking out on the moonlit garden and reflecting on her own folly.
‘It’s beautiful outside. Shall we go out?’
Ella turned and smiled rather shakily at Edwin, ashamed of her unhappy thoughts on such a happy occasion. ‘That would be … nice.’
Instinctively they both moved away from the lamplight falling on the garden and into the shadows. Edwin told himself that he was thinking of the report he would make to her father when he asked Ella, ‘How are things these days? The farm … William?’
Ella shrugged. ‘We manage.’ Her tone was dull; she had no wish to discuss or even think about William out here with Edwin.
‘What a shame your wife couldn’t be here,’ she remarked, more as some sort of shield between her and Edwin than because she really cared.
‘Yes, she never goes anywhere, she—’ He reached out his hand and caught Ella’s arm as her toe caught in a rough bit of paving on the path.
‘Oh!’ Involuntarily she turned in his arms. ‘Oh, Edwin!’ Her resistance, such as it was, melted as he kissed her and she responded with a passion she had not known she possessed. Only when he begged her to stay, murmuring endearments against her hair, did she remember Violet. She braced her arms against his chest and pushed back. ‘I can’t. I have to go back – there is Violet.’
‘Bring her with you.’
‘She is William’s child.’ Her voice was flat. ‘And I am his wife, Edwin. I stood in church and made vows, for better or worse. You too. Well, it’s turned out for worse, hasn’t it, for both of us. But that is our bad luck – it doesn’t alter anything.’
She broke away from him with something like a sob and dashed into the house where she did her best to put up a bright façade as she mingled with the still partying guests.
Alice threw her a keen glance and wondered where Edwin was.
In spite of the tiring day, Ella tossed in her bed, sleep quite elusive while her mind was in such turmoil. She knew she had done the right thing – her conscience and her upbringing told her that – but her heart was heavy and her body betrayed her with its memories and its yearnings.
She was still awake, still tingling from the feeling of Edwin’s arms round her, his kisses on her mouth, still reminding herself that marriage vows were sacred when she became aware of a slight scratching, tapping sound at her door. She lay quite still and did not cry out when it opened very slowly.
‘Shhh!’ Edwin put his forefinger to his lips as he stepped inside. ‘Don’t be alarmed. I just want to talk.’
Very quietly he moved across the room and sat down on the bed.
‘I don’t think you should be here. What do you want to talk about, anyway?’ Ella whispered.
‘I couldn’t let things end like that. I need you to know that I really care about you. I never want to hurt you in any way.’ He reached out a hand but didn’t quite touch her.
Ella caught her breath on a sob and with one hand on her mouth to stifle the sound, she reached out and touched him with the other. What happened then was inevitable, or so she told herself afterwards.