What Do You Do for a Narcissist? How Are You Used?

Simply put, if you are narcissistic supply (NS) for someone, you are the fuel that feeds that person’s ego and reinforces the narcissism. This is a harsh reality for people who must come to the realization that the individual they loved really does not love them in any deep sense. The target is truly just that — a target — who is used to fluff the feathers of the peacock (the narcissist).

After the target is officially discarded, the narcissist moves on to other sources of narcissistic supply (NS). Most always, the narcissist has lined up other relationships, addictions and scenarios to extract the most NS.

On some level, the narcissist knows that any person with any awareness of psychological health would not put up with their abuse for an indefinite period. Therefore, the narcissist must have other sources of NS from which to extract lifeblood and lined up in the event of abandonment.

A narcissist cannot function without NS. The narcissistic supply is what fuels the narcissist’s ego and enables the narcissist to somehow precariously assemble a mosaic of an identity from the extracted reactions of people and circumstances that elevate the ego. Again, the former target is like a used appliance, discarded and no longer of use. The new appliance is shinier, newer and different, always a larger hit of NS. But, if you were once NS, you will always be NS — if you allow it. Narcissists put their former NS on the shelf to tap (if made available) in the future, should their new arm candy fall short of perfection.

The reality is that no one can be that perfect partner for the narcissist, because all NS is destined to fail in the process of the target reflecting back the “perfection” of the narcissist. No one person could possibly fill the void of the psyche of the narcissist, nor would it be healthy to do so.