Several hours later, I sat on my front porch with a fresh mug of tea warming my hands against the chilly night air. I leaned back against the side railing with both legs stretched out before me. Paisley sat snuggled in my lap while Octo-Cat lay snoozing at my side. Pringle had already absconded into his private apartment with the new treasures Charles had allowed him to steal from his attic, and my boyfriend had gone home so that I could have this moment to myself.
“Thanks for agreeing to talk with me,” I said to the elderly woman who sat on the nearby rocking chair, holding a full cup of tea in her hands as well.
“Of course, dear,” she answered with a far-off smile that seemed to take almost all the energy she had. “I should have spoken with you about this much earlier.”
I turned the mug in my hands, searching for the right words to move this conversation forward. It seemed an apology was the best place to start. “I shouldn’t have given you an ultimatum, but—”
“Say no more.” Her voice was soft and reassuring. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to that point. Thank you for giving me the chance to explain for myself first.”
“Nan, you know that no matter what happened back then, it doesn’t erase all the amazing years we’ve had together. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re the person I love most in this entire world. You’re my best friend.”
Octo-Cat stirred in his sleep, just enough to grumble a protest.
“Well, you and Octo-Cat,” I amended with a chuckle.
“Show me what you found,” she said without further delay. I knew this was hard for her, but I was so appreciative she was facing that discomfort to give me the answers I craved.
Instead of calling the number the church lady had given me, I’d decided to call my nan and come clean, to tell her I’d been searching for answers and may have found some but would much rather talk to her first if she was willing.
She’d asked for a few hours to gather her bearings but said we could talk that night. And now here we were.
“You’ve already seen the letter and birth certificate. Pringle took those back. But we also have these two pictures.” I set my tea to the side and rose carefully, holding Paisley as I stood.
“Ahh, William,” Nan said, memories sparkling in her light eyes. But did they spark joy? I couldn’t quite tell.
“Who was he to you?” I asked, still so confused by all I knew, all I still didn’t know.
She touched the photo of his face with trembling fingers. “He was my best friend growing up. We did everything together. Almost like a brother and sister, until we hit puberty, and then suddenly our relationship felt very different.”
“You fell in love,” I finished for her.
“I did,” she admitted with a sad shake of her head. “And for a while I thought he loved me, too, but then Marilyn Jones came along.”
“The name on the birth certificate.” I remembered that first night standing out here by myself as I read the shocking contents of his letter, saw my mom’s real birth certificate for the first time.
She nodded. “Your real nan.”
“I don’t understand. What happened?” I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, urging her on. There was still so much more that hadn’t been said.
“I don’t know what happened to Marilyn, only that William said she was gone, and he was going back to war. He was worried about his daughter, about Laura, your mother. And he was right to worry because he died in battle later that year.”
Tears pricked at my eyes for the friend Nan had lost, for the grandfather I’d never gotten the chance to know. “Oh, Nan, I’m so sorry.”
She sniffed and smiled up at me. “By then, I’d met and fallen for your grandfather. We legally adopted your mother and raised her as our own, always fearing that Marilyn would come calling and take our daughter away. For years, we looked over our shoulders. Not hiding, since I was in the public spotlight given my choice of work, but always watching.”
“And then what happened?”
She shook hard, and I knew that we’d reached the hardest part of the story. This was the part of the memory she’d tried so hard to forget.
“When your mother was eleven, Marilyn found us. She came to one of my shows and confronted me after. Said William’s sister had told her what he’d done and that she wanted her baby back.” Tears splashed into her tea, but she wasn’t drinking it, anyway.
I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn’t move. What had almost happened? How different would my mom’s life be if…? And would I have even been born?
“Oh my gosh, all those years later? What did you do?” I couldn’t stand another moment not knowing.
“I agreed to meet her the next day, to bring Laura.” Her voice cracked here. “And then your grandfather and I packed up and left town.”
“To Blueberry Bay,” I whispered.
“To Blueberry Bay,” she confirmed.
“What happened to Marilyn?”
Nan shook her head vigorously. Her tea sloshed over the edges of her cup, but she didn’t react. “I don’t know. We walked away from everything so that we could keep our family together. Your mother hadn’t been born to us, but she was ours. And I didn’t know why William sent his only daughter away, but I knew him and knew he must have had his reasons.”
“Wow.” I breathed heavily, still in shock. “Does Mom know about all this?”
“Of course not.” Nan’s voice faltered in a rare show of fragility. “How can I tell her that I stole her?”
And just like that my legs worked again. I pulled my nan to her feet and hugged her tight. “You didn’t know. Your best friend gave her to you, and you trusted him.”
“Back then, yes,” she whispered into my hair. “But I made a choice when Marilyn found us in New York. A selfish one that’s kept Laura from knowing her real mother and you from knowing your real nan.”
“You’re my real nan,” I said, wrapping my arms around her even tighter. “I told you nothing can change that. Not even this.”
“I appreciate that, dear.” She pulled back and studied me with a small smile and bright eyes. “Sometimes I think I let myself fall even more in love with you than I allowed myself to love your mother because I knew no one would show up and try to take you away.”
This explained so much, why she had been the main one to raise me even though my parents were here and capable. Whatever the reasons for it, I’d loved my childhood and I loved my life. I loved the woman who had risked so much to give it to me.
I kissed her on the cheek. “I’ve loved every single day with you, Nan. Well, every day except for the one you took Paisley to a motel and hid from me.”
We smiled at each other, then laughed together for what felt like the first time in ages.
“You don’t hate me?” she asked with a squeak.
“I could never hate you.” I paused before saying the next part in case it hurt her. “But I do want to meet her.”
Nan nodded. “I figured you might.”
“Where do we start?” I needed to know more, but I also needed us to do this side by side.
“Together.” She reached out her hand and grasped mine. “I’ve spent so many years running from the truth. Now let’s walk toward it together.”