PART 5

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Celebrate special events and occasions with everyone, and try to develop traditions for your new family.

2. Recognize, accept, and begin to modify the old ways until they finally work for everyone.

3. Children should be allowed to flow between their biological parents, with some effort made to establish similar rules and similar consequences when they are with either parent.

4. Whenever appropriate, involve your new spouse and stepchildren in your preferred activities.

5. Children need to feel you recognize something special about them.

6. It seems best if each spouse remains responsible for his or her own children’s expenses.

7. Genuine sharing means that everyone has value.

8. Divorce means reduced input and that you may not have direct control over what happens to the children you share.

9. Reconsider your own agenda and live your life.

10. Never forget that while you love one of your stepchildren’s biological parents, the children love them both.