chapter 30

In Which Jackson Has a Very Good Idea Indeed

Muffy’s fangs were sharp and glistening with drool.

His snarls were loud and deeper, and he had foamy froth all over his large black snout. Jackson slowly stepped behind the gold toilet. Muffy took one step forward. Jackson’s clammy fingers clenched the flashlight tightly, waiting for the right moment. His breathing was uneven, and his skin was covered in goosebumps. He slowly raised the clenched flashlight overhead, waiting for the right moment.

But then he had an idea.

“M-Muffy? Are you thirsty?” Jackson cooed softly, lifting up the golden toilet seat.

Muffy’s appearance changed immediately. His hackles dropped down, his ears perked up into two perfect triangles, and his teeth disappeared behind a goofy grin.

“Are you thirsty? Eh, buddy? Want a drink?” Muffy pushed forward and shoved his snout into the toilet bowl. Messy slurps and swallows echoed in the bowl.

Jackson heaved a sigh of relief. But then a horrible thought struck him: What happens when he’s done drinking? Jackson searched his bag, trying not to make any sudden movements, and pulled out the roll of toilet paper. He tore off several lengths and began twisting them into a complicated braid. After just a moment he’d tied a makeshift collar.

Muffy lifted his head and stared at Jackson. That deep, low grumbling had started again. Jackson tugged the gold-tasseled flush handle and more water gushed into the toilet bowl. Muffy shoved his whole head back in, snorting and sneezing like a water buffalo. It was now or never.

Jackson’s deft fingers slipped the collar around Muffy’s neck and tied it, careful not to get the toilet paper wet, and tied the leash to the base. The slurping and slopping stopped. Muffy lifted his head and looked at Jackson, a big slobber of water splashing the ground and Jackson’s feet. Muffy laid down, his head resting on his neatly-crossed legs. His big tongue lolled out the side, a glistening strand of drool hanging from it as he panted. And as Jackson watched, his eyelids began to grow heavy and droop. Muffy was asleep.

Jackson stepped back from the toilet bowl, quietly and stealthily slipping back into the patch of sunflowers before Muffy noticed.