Jaz stood on a bar stool as she tried to hang up the green tinsel.
‘Careful, Jeni, I can’t afford for you to break your neck over bloody Christmas decorations,’ said Ted.
Jaz stuck the last bit in place before climbing down to see her handiwork. ‘But Ted, look at the place. It’s so cool.’
‘I don’t think the regulars who come here will even notice,’ he said with a shrug and walked off.
Jaz didn’t take it to heart, she’d seen Ted smiling when she’d put up the ‘Merry Christmas’ sign she’d brought. It was December, after all. If you couldn’t get festive what else was there to look forward to?
‘Place looks great. Is this your doing, Jeni?’
She turned to see Stevo walk in with Bud. ‘Sure is. If you like it, make sure you tell Ted. He thinks I shouldn’t have wasted my time.’ Bud came up to her and slipped his arm around her and kissed her on the lips.
‘Hello, pretty lady. I’ve missed you,’ said Bud. ‘It’s a long time between drinks,’ he added.
It had been three weeks since she’d kissed him at his place. Since then they’d started a slow kind of relationship which started with swapping phone numbers so they could text and talk in between the pub visits. It was still a getting to know you stage. She’d been on one date with him, going out for fish and chips in Fremantle, and then they caught a movie one Sunday. But between Jaz working nights at the pub, and Bud’s work, it was keeping the relationship slow and steady. Which Jaz was rather happy about.
‘You texted me half an hour ago,’ she said, poking his chest with her finger. It was at that moment that she realised someone else had stepped inside behind Stevo.
Ryan.
Could Bud tell she’d gone limp in his arms? Could he tell her heart had begun to race and her breath had caught in her throat? Could he tell that her body was screaming out for Ryan aka Reece?
‘Hi Jeni,’ Ryan said casually. His eyes flicked to Bud’s arm around her. ‘Bud, mentioned he’d caught the barmaid but some of us didn’t believe him.’
‘Told you I don’t lie,’ said Bud.
‘It’s good to see you back, Reece. It’s been a while. Thought you must have found another local to drink at,’ said Jeni, hoping Ryan understood how much he was missed. The little muscle in his jaw was pulsing, as if he was clenching his teeth. His eyes shot to Bud’s fingers that rested against her waist. She needed to do something. Standing this close to Ryan after such a long, long time was asking for trouble. Already his aftershave was wafting and that blue button-up shirt was undone enough to drive her insane. ‘Can I get you all a beer?’ She stepped out of Bud’s embrace and moved towards the bar, waiting for their answer.
‘Yes, thanks Jeni,’ said Stevo as he moved to the table, grabbing the basket of nuts.
‘I’ll get them,’ said Ryan pulling out his wallet.
That was when Jaz noticed the unfamiliar mark on his wrist. The Shesha Serpent tattoo. It felt like all the blood had drained from her body. It scared her.
‘Thanks Reece.’ Bud kissed her cheek, oblivious to her inner turmoil. ‘Come see me when you can.’ Then he went and joined Stevo.
Ryan moved to Jaz. ‘Shall we go to the bar?’ he asked, snapping her out of her sudden freeze.
She nodded, then followed him. As she poured the three beers she studied Ryan. He looked tired. Dark shadows around his eyes and he seemed thinner. Fitter, but thinner as if he wasn’t eating properly or maybe overdoing the exercise. Combined with that tattoo, she was as worried as heck but couldn’t say a damn thing.
‘New artwork,’ she whispered as she put the beers on the bar in front of him.
Ryan shuffled his watch so it covered the tattoo. ‘Yeah. Bound to happen. You and Bud?’
‘Yep. It’s all good. We do what we have to, hey?’ Jaz didn’t know why she felt so suddenly angry. Because Ryan was dragged into the Shesha Serpents? Was she angry that they couldn’t be together? She knew it wasn’t possible, that it wasn’t Ryan’s fault, but yet she felt angry. She wanted to be able to hold Ryan, hug him in public, and she wanted that shitty tattoo off his skin. It was like he’d been branded as someone’s property and Ryan didn’t belong to anyone. Maybe that’s what was making her so grumpy.
‘Have you been well?’ she said softly. She was kind of amazed she’d managed to get anything out at all. But she needed to make the most of their time together.
‘As good as can be expected, I guess. This is driving me a little crazy,’ he said as she handed him the change.
As she did his hand clamped over the money and her hand, holding, touching; the power of that simple touch felt like a thousand Christmases. He let go and with shaking hands put his change back into his wallet. Jaz knew exactly how he felt. She felt like crying from the pure pleasure of touching him and the torture of not being able to have more.
‘You look good, by the way,’ he whispered. ‘Browner maybe.’ Deep dark eyes drank in her skin, then dropped to her arms and chest.
‘I’ve been surfing nearly every morning.’ This made her smile. It was a pleasure to spend her morning in the ocean.
Ryan frowned. ‘I hope he behaves,’ he said as he collected up the three glasses in his large hands.
Jaz knew he was talking about Cody and it was sweet he was a little worried.
‘I’ll be over later,’ she said for theatrical purposes, but needn’t have bothered as the closest person was four stools away along the bar and Ted was chatting to him. ‘Can you believe it’s nearly Christmas,’ she added.
He gave her a smile that was Ryan all over and for the moment it was enough to satisfy her cravings. She could do this. She could put on an award-winning performance too.
The rest of the night was rather busy with a full house, but she did manage to pass by Bud’s table on a few occasions. Once they all stopped their hushed talking and she was curious as to what they were talking about. Shesha Serpent stuff?
‘Here Jeni,’ said Bud, gesturing to his lap.
Jaz shook her head and put her arms around his neck so she could whisper to him, ‘I better not, Ted will get grumpy if I play favourites. Might make the others think they’ll get the same service.’ Plus she didn’t like making it more uncomfortable for Ryan. She was sure he wouldn’t rub Annaliese in her face if he could help it.
Ryan spent lots of time looking into his beer. Was that so he wasn’t caught glancing in her direction?
Jaz was back behind the bar when she saw Ryan head to the bathroom. She ducked into the back room and out the side door, which opened into the same corridor that led to the toilets and the outside door. She reached for a bag on her way out, it wasn’t even half full but she needed something.
‘Here, let me get the door for you,’ said Ryan as she stepped in behind him.
‘Thanks, that would be great.’
Jaz flicked the light switch off, the one Ted had finally got around to fixing, and stepped outside into the dark. The bag dropped from her hands the moment she felt Ryan reach for her, pulling her to him. His hands caressed her face as he kissed her. Hot warm lips that knew what they wanted.
Jaz clung to him as they opened their mouths, kissing and tasting with a feverish need. It was red-hot and she was burning with want and desire.
Ryan pulled back a fraction, his breath coming in shallow pants, caressing her face each time. ‘I gotta go. I love you.’
‘I love you too. Be careful,’ she said before stealing another kiss.
Ryan groaned, then pulled away as if it pained him to do so.
She knew just how he felt. Ryan turned the light back on for her as he went inside and she found the light rude and intrusive. She wanted to revel in the kiss, in the dark where the memories lingered, yet the bright light forced her to pick up the rubbish bag and put it in the bin.
When she went back inside she locked the door and went to the toilet. She needed to splash water on her face, her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Maybe it was her whole body? As she stared at her face in the mirror, she wondered if they’d all notice the flushed cheeks and sparkly eyes? Maybe Bud would think it was for him?
Jaz had to endure the rest of the night but it was worth it to have Ryan so close. She had to make the most of it, as it could be another month before she saw him again. Ryan stayed until Stevo and Bud left. They’d all come together, apparently.
She hugged Bud goodbye but her eyes were only for Ryan and she tried to take in as much of him as she could. It was strange to have her arms around one bloke while staring at the man you loved.
‘Text me tomorrow,’ said Jaz as Bud headed to the door. ‘Bye Stevo, bye Reece. Come back soon.’
Then they were gone and Jaz had to stop herself from running outside, or from bursting into tears, or throwing a chair. She couldn’t decide which would make her feel better.
‘Hey, trouble. Seems like the decorations better stay,’ said Ted. He put his arm around her shoulder and led her back to the bar where only six people remained, having their last beers.
‘I told you people would like it, even if they mightn’t say so.’ She gave Ted a nudge in the ribs. ‘You’re an ol’ softy, I’m sure of it.’
‘Na, I think you’ve got me mixed up with someone else,’ said Ted. ‘I’m a grumpy bar manager who’s gonna sack your arse if you don’t get this place cleaned up.’
He tried to frown but it came off looking like a soft teddy bear with a monobrow. Not that she’d ever tell him that.
By the time Jaz had cleaned up, caught the bus, then driven back to The Ring, she was exhausted. Seeing Ryan had flipped her emotions and she felt drained and a little sad.
It wasn’t until she crawled into her bed after her shower she realised she had company. The bed did feel warmer.
‘Hey you,’ said Jaz. She snuggled up to Anna, wrapping her arms around her friend. ‘You get scared?’
‘Maybe. Tay went home so he could see his dad in the morning and I didn’t want to be in my room alone.’
Growing up they’d often shared a bed, like best friends do. Like a comfort teddy or blanket. Which was exactly what Jaz needed now.
‘I don’t want to be alone either,’ said Jaz as tears sprung from her eyes. She couldn’t help it. The more she thought about Ryan, the tattoo and how tired he looked, the more the tears came.
Upon hearing her sniffles, Anna rolled over. ‘Oh, Jaz. Are you okay? Talk to me. What is it?’ Her voice no longer sounded sleepy.
‘I’m sorry, it’s just me being silly. Go back to sleep.’
‘No.’ Anna brushed her hair back and waited. ‘Did something happen with Bud?’
Jaz shook her head. ‘Ryan came tonight. He has the Serpent tattoo and he looks different, unhealthy I guess. It was good to see him but I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m being a baby,’ she said, feeling ridiculous but unable to stop the tears or the sobs.
‘You miss him. That’s not silly. He’s probably feeling just as bad right now. You need to be strong for him. You guys will get through this. You’ll be together soon. I know you will.’
Jaz smiled through her tears and took her first steadying breath. ‘You think?’
‘I know so. I know everything, after all.’ Anna rubbed her hand up and down Jaz’s arm. ‘Come on, it’s late and you’re probably tired. You’ll feel better in the morning. Try and sleep.’
Anna was such a mum. But Jaz loved her for it. Sometimes it was needed.
‘I’m glad you’re here. I love you Annabanana.’
‘I love you too, Jazzy.’
Somehow Jaz managed to get off to sleep, thanks to Anna. Her steady rhythmic breathing drew her mind into the darkness where her dreams of sand and waves took over.