NERVES STOLE LUCY’S voice as she and Gideon walked to her apartment. She’d intentionally picked a restaurant close to her place so that they wouldn’t have to worry about a cab ride to get from point A to point B. She nodded at the doorman as he held open the door for them and then she strode to the elevator and pushed the button.
Gideon followed her inside and leaned against the elevator wall. The food in the paper bag smelled divine, but her craving was solely for the man holding it. She clasped her hands together to keep from touching him. “I want to progress tonight.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m listening.”
Why was it so challenging to say these things aloud? She was an adult. She should be able to express her needs honestly without fear of being laughed out of the building—or rejected. Lucy fisted her hands and raised her chin. The mirrors in the elevator walls and door reflected a version of her that looked ready to go several rounds on the courthouse floor. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I want everything.”
That predatory stillness rolled over him and his eyes seemed to flare with barely banked heat. “Bite-size steps are the smart option.”
“Nothing about this is smart, and I think we both know that.” Last night had made her skittish in a way she hadn’t expected, and if she was shrewder and less stubborn, she would have called the whole thing off as a result. Instead she was pushing them toward something neither could take back.
The elevator door opened and she wasted no time walking into the hall and down to her door. There were only four apartments on this floor, each occupying their respective corner of the building. Hers faced southeast, so she often woke to the early morning sunlight streaming through her windows. At least on the days she wasn’t up before dawn.
She unlocked the door and held it open for Gideon. He stopped just inside the entranceway, barely leaving room for her to slide inside behind him. She tried to see the place through his eyes. The open floor plan showcased the big floor-to-ceiling windows. The kitchen lay just to the right of the front hall, the white cabinets set off with little turquoise handles she’d found online. The living room contained a decent-size TV that she rarely used and two short couches arranged in a loose V. Her cat, Garfunkel, lifted his head and gave Gideon a death stare.
Gideon moved to the kitchen counter—white marble shot through with pale gray—and set the bag of food on it. He turned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why the change of pace?”
“Maybe I just want you.” It was the truth, but not the full truth.
He shook his head. “Honesty, Lucy.”
Why had she agreed to that particular term? She pulled at the hem of her fitted blue dress. “I’m nervous. Last night was good, but I didn’t expect that level of reaction, and I’m afraid if we don’t get it over with, I’m going to change my mind.”
“Get it over with,” Gideon murmured. “Sex isn’t something you ‘get over with.’ If you think of it that way, there’s a problem somewhere.”
A problem he was determined to fix if the expression on his face was anything to go by. She sliced her hand through the air. “No problem. That’s not what I meant at all. My issue is that the anticipation, the will-we-or-won’t-we, is driving me nuts. I want to rip it off right now—like a Band-Aid.”
He stared at her for a long moment and then burst out laughing. “A Band-Aid. Fuck, woman, you really are going to kill me.” He ran a hand over his face. “The anticipation is meant to be enjoyed.”
She could think of a lot of words to describe how she felt standing in her apartment with Gideon and knowing they were alone and could do what they wanted for hours. Enjoyment didn’t top the list. Her body was too hot, her lungs too tight, her core aching from need. But she knew that look on his face. If she didn’t do something rash, he was going to put the brakes on and sit her down and coax her to talk through it. For someone with such a ruthless reputation, Gideon was overwhelmingly careful with her. She knew why—he had residual guilt over not telling her immediately about Jeff’s cheating ways. But she didn’t care about any of that right now.
All she cared about was getting through this interaction so she could go back to breathing normally again.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Lucy unzipped the side of her dress and slid it off. She didn’t look at him as she kicked the silky fabric to the side. If she thought too hard about the fact that she stood in front of him in only a pair of nude-lace panties, she might die on the spot.
A second passed. Another.
Still, he didn’t say anything.
What is he doing?
Probably looking for a way to gracefully exit that wouldn’t have her throwing herself from the nearest window. Stop that right now. She was stronger than this. Lucy looked good. She ate relatively well and hit the gym at least three times a week. Last night Gideon’s physical reaction had proved that he’d wanted her. He might not have taken his release, but he wasn’t remotely unaffected.
So why was he standing there without saying a word?
Stop waiting for him to make the first move.
Do it yourself.
Gathering her courage, she lifted her head and looked at him. Her first step took more effort than she could have dreamed, and the intense look on his face didn’t help her any. He held himself perfectly still, every muscle coiled. Though, for the life of her, she couldn’t tell if it was to keep from jumping her or to stop himself from fleeing.
Only one way to find out.
She took the last few steps that brought her close enough to touch. Tentatively she reached out and laid her hands on his chest. Why isn’t he saying anything? She waited another few seconds but the only sound in her kitchen was the soft rush of their quickened breathing.
Maybe she’d misjudged the situation. Oh, God, what did I do? “If you’ve changed your mind, just tell me. We can pretend this whole thing never happened.”
* * *
Gideon couldn’t look away from Lucy. She was fucking perfect. He’d known that, of course, but seeing it without clothes barring his vision was something else altogether. Her breasts were small and high, capped with dark rose nipples. He forced himself not to reach for her as she stroked her hands down his chest and back up again.
“Gideon?”
She’d asked a question, hadn’t she?
“What?” His gaze snagged on her narrow waist and the nude-lace panties that were so sheer, he could see a shadow of her slit beneath them. He cleared his throat and jerked his attention back to her face.
She frowned a little. “Did you change your mind?”
“No.” He finally allowed himself to move, reaching up and covering her hands with his. “Fuck me, but you can’t expect a man to be faced with the sight of you naked and still be able to hold down a conversation.”
“That’s sweet.”
But she thought he was lying. He could read it all over her face.
It struck Gideon that he’d been playing this wrong. He’d known Jeff had hurt Lucy with his actions, and then she’d told him that she hadn’t been with anyone since, and he’d gone straight to treating her like an innocent virgin. She was innocent in some ways, but by being so careful with her, he’d created room for her to doubt herself—and him.
Fuck that.
He guided her hands to his shoulders and then started unbuttoning his shirt. “You don’t believe the words, and I don’t blame you for that. But if you won’t listen to me when I tell you that you’re a fucking goddess personified, then I’ll show you.”
She kneaded his shoulders slightly, her eyes glued to his hands as he finished with his shirt and started on the front of his slacks. “I believe you.”
“You don’t.” He kicked off his shoes and shoved down his pants. Lucy shook her head as if fighting off a daze and pushed his shirt off his shoulders. He let it fall to the floor and then the only barriers were their respective underwear. He snagged the lace with a single finger. “These have to go.”
“Yours, too.”
He took a step back and hooked his thumbs in his boxer briefs. A single, smooth movement and he stood before her naked. Watching Lucy’s jaw drop was ridiculously gratifying. She took in each part of his body, starting with his head and moving over his neck, his shoulders, his chest, his stomach and, finally, settling on his cock. He grew harder in response to her hungry expression.
Gideon had never had a woman look at him the way Lucy did. As if he was a present she’d found under the Christmas tree—just for her. It threatened to turn this interaction into something it could never be, so he smothered the thought. She wanted him physically. End of story.
“Gideon, you’re beautiful.” She shucked off her panties, never taking her gaze from him. “I mean, I’d seen you in a swimsuit, but this is different.” She closed the distance between them once more, a small line appearing between her brows. “Is it weird, though? I never considered you a brother or anything like that, but you were family.”
Family.
He’d forced himself to forget that feeling of belonging that Lucy seemed to extend wherever she went. When he’d hung out with her and Jeff, he’d never felt like a third wheel—he’d just been part of the unit. Of all the things he’d missed when she’d cut off communication between them, that might be the highest on the list. “I never saw you as a sister.”
“I know.” She laughed softly. “I’d catch you watching me sometimes—not often—and you never made it weird. But... I know.”
He thought he’d hid it better than that. Gideon shoved the past away just like he shoved aside so many inconvenient feelings that seemed to arise the more time he spent with Lucy. “It’s not weird.”
“I guess it’s not.” She carefully slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, taking that last step to bring them chest to chest. He rested his hands on her waist, but she felt too good to limit the contact. Gideon stroked up her back and down again to cup her ass.
There was nothing left to say. They’d reached the point of no return the second Lucy’s dress had hit the floor. Gideon lifted his head. “Bedroom.”
“This way—Oh!”
He swept her into his arms and strode across the living room to the door she’d indicated. Her bedroom was purely Lucy: a pretty wood headboard, more pillows than one woman should require, and a bright yellow floral bedspread that brightened the room even in the low light of the single lamp she must have left on.
He laid her on the bed and settled between her thighs. Gideon had every intention of slowing things down and having a very specific conversation about how this would proceed.
Every. Intention.
But Lucy wrapped her legs around his waist and arched up to meet him, and that honorable plan disappeared as if it’d never existed. Maybe it hadn’t and he’d just been lying to himself all along. It didn’t matter. There was only her soft skin beneath his palms, her body sliding against his and her mouth on his neck.
He kissed her. Gideon might never get enough of her sunny taste, and he wasn’t about to miss a chance to immerse himself in the feel of her. This was happening. They would cross the line he’d never once considered anything other than insurmountable.
He stroked a hand down her waist to squeeze her ass and hitch her up to fit tighter against him. The temptation to sink into her was almost too much, but this wasn’t about him, his wants, his needs.
This was about Lucy.
Gideon hadn’t leashed himself and his desire for her this long to skip over for anything less than the full experience. He didn’t want to miss a single thing. He kissed down and across her collarbone and palmed her breasts. “Perfect. Every single thing about you is fucking perfect.”
She laughed a little nervously. “You said that before.”
“I’ll say it again.” He tongued one nipple. “Pretty and pink and...fuck. Just fucking perfect.”
“Don’t stop.” She laced her fingers through his hair and drew him back down. “Harder.”
He set his teeth gently against her nipple and then increased the pressure slightly when she went wild beneath him. Through it all, he kept his eyes open. Gideon wanted it all, every nuance of expression, every reaction. All of it.
A flush stole across her freckled cheeks and over her chest, and her small breasts heaved with each sobbed breath. He moved to give her other nipple the same treatment but kept stroking the first, pinching it with the same amount of pressure he’d applied with his mouth.
She shuddered against him, her hips grinding. “Gideon. Oh, God. I think I could come from this alone.”
“I’m not done yet.” He pressed one last kiss to each nipple and then slid back until he knelt on the floor next to the bed. He grabbed her hips and jerked her to the edge. This close, he could see every part of her. Gideon drew his thumb over her slit. “You need more.”
“Yes.”
He used his thumbs to part her. “Next time, you’ll tell me exactly what you want.”
“Next time?” She lifted her head to give him a dazed look. “Why next time?”
“Because I’m a selfish bastard.” His mouth actually watered being this close to the most private part of Lucy. Her pussy was as flushed as the rest of her skin, wet and wanting and practically begging for his tongue. There wasn’t a single damn reason not to give her exactly what he wanted. “I hope you’re ready.”