“I’M SORRY—did you just say that you have a date?”
Lucy swirled her white wine, not looking at her little sister. “You don’t have to sound so shocked by it.” She hadn’t wanted to confess her plan, but it twisted her up inside not to be able to talk about it with at least one person. Gideon hardly counted, especially since his reactions were hardly consistent with what she’d expected—and her reactions weren’t cooperating, either.
“I am shocked. You’ve been all work, work, work. When did you have time to set up a date?” Becka leaned over and snagged a chip from the plate in the middle of the table. “That’s not a dig, by the way. That’s just facts. I’m on three freaking dating websites and I have trouble finding dates who aren’t candidates for ‘but he seemed so nice.’”
Lucy sighed. “They can’t all be serial killers, Becka.”
“It only takes one.” Becka frowned. “Besides, we aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you.”
Now that push came to shove, she didn’t know where to start. Or if she even should confess any of it. In truth, if she hadn’t had these drinks set up with Becka already, she’d be at home, moping. It had been two days since she’d seen Gideon and, aside from a few emails confirming her first date, they hadn’t talked, either. She knew she’d been an ass, but it wasn’t like Gideon to avoid a conflict.
Not that there had to be a conflict. There didn’t. She just didn’t want him to think that their having sex meant he could push her into not going through with her plan. She’d made the decision. He had to respect that. If that meant he didn’t want to continue with their lessons... Well, that was something she’d just have to deal with.
Unless he doesn’t want to continue for a different reason...
“You okay?”
She blinked and tried to focus on her sister’s face. Becka changed her hair color with the seasons and today it was a bright blue that was the exact shade of her eyes. Her lip piercing glinted in the light of the little hipster bar where they always met up. She had the cute-alternative look down to a science. She never had problems with men, despite her lamenting about dating.
Lucy tried to smile. “Just a crisis of faith. You know, the usual.”
“Don’t do that. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s cool, but don’t pat me on the head. You don’t have to protect me anymore, Lucy. You know that, right?”
“It’s not about protecting you.” And it wasn’t. They’d had a fine upbringing. Decent—if distant—parents. A solid middle-class lifestyle. Nothing traumatic happening to make waves in their lives.
But Becka was still her little sister. When they were growing up, Becka had been the shy one, the bookworm who was a little too odd to fit in with the rest of the kids in her grade. It led to bullying and, when their parents had failed to notice, Lucy had taken care of it.
She’d been taking care of her little sister ever since.
Though these days, Becka fought her own battles.
But her sister had a point. Holding on to the turmoil inside her wasn’t doing Lucy any favors. She’d talked about it to Gideon, but he wasn’t exactly a neutral party. Neither was Becka, for that matter. “I just... I know it’s been two years, but I still have Jeff’s comments rattling around in my brain. It’s pathetic and I should be over it by now, and I am over him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Becka grabbed the wine bottle on the table and refilled her glass. “It’s not like you had a monthlong relationship and turned around and let it mess you up for the rest of your life. You and Jeff were together for...what, like four years? You were going to marry him.” She narrowed her blue eyes. “Though he better hope we never cross paths, because I’m going to kick his ass one of these days.”
“Becka.”
“Lucy.” She mimicked her voice perfectly. “But that day is not today. Either way, I’d say you were having a normal reaction and that’s that. Why’s this coming up now? The whole matchmaking thing is kind of out there, but it’s not like you’re jumping into bed with these guys to give them a trial run.” Becka grinned. “Though there’s an idea.”
She tried to imagine it—taking a single night with each of the guys on Gideon’s list—and instantly rejected the idea. “No way.” It felt wrong and she didn’t want to spend too much time thinking about why. I promised Gideon to be exclusive. Sure, that was it. Definitely.
“Worth a shot.” Becka ate a few more chips. “You’ll be fine, Lucy. I promise. Dating is weird and it’s hard to get to know people, but you have a matchmaker in your corner. It’ll all work out.”
She couldn’t tell her sister that Gideon Novak was the so-called matchmaker in question. Becka had met him on several occasions and she’d lose her shit if she knew. Since they’d managed to get through this conversation without her thinking Lucy was out of her mind, she’d like to keep it that way. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“I am.”
Lucy’s phone rang and her heart leaped in her throat at the sight of Gideon’s name on the screen. “Hello?”
“I’ll meet you there ten minutes early, so be ready.”
She blinked. “I’m sorry—what?”
“The date, Lucy. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten about it.”
She bristled at the irritation in his voice. “Of course I haven’t forgotten. But I was not expecting you to be attending.” She was nervous enough about going out with Mark Williams without having to do it under the watchful eye of Gideon. “That’s unacceptable.”
“My rules. Be there ten minutes early.” He hung up.
Lucy set her phone carefully on the table and looked up to find her sister watching her. “What?”
“I know that move. The ‘gently set your phone down so you don’t chuck it across the room’ one. Who pissed you off?”
“It’s a long story and, unfortunately, I have to leave in order not to be late.” Not to be late to being early. I’m going to kill him. She dug out her wallet and flagged down the waitress. “Same time next week?”
“Sure. You’re the one with the crazy schedule.” Becka finished her drink and set it on the table. She grinned. “And whoever that was that just called you, give ’em hell, sis.”
“I plan on it.” She set the appropriate amount of cash on the table under the ticket and rose. She accepted Gideon’s direction in the bedroom because that was exactly what she’d asked for. She accepted his list of men for the same reason.
She refused to accept him taking control of every aspect of this matchmaking situation.
He vetted and picked the candidates, yes, but ultimately it was up to her and the individual men to see if it was something that could actually work. Gideon’s role in this ended the second she and one of the men came to an agreement. She tried very hard not to focus on the way her stomach dropped at that thought.
It didn’t matter.
What mattered was his trying to steamroll her on this. She had to have some freedom to figure out if she could stomach the thought of spending her life with the man across the table from her, and she couldn’t do that with Gideon standing at her shoulder.
If he did, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d compare every man to him and it would skew her perception.
Against Gideon Novak, who could compare?
* * *
Gideon checked his watch for the third time in as many minutes. Where the hell was she? He turned to look down the street again just as Lucy walked around the corner. She didn’t seem particularly concerned to be running late—or happy to see him. He motioned to his watch. “We had an understanding.”
“Wrong. You told me something. I disagreed.” She crossed her arms over her chest, which drew his attention to her dress.
“What are you wearing?” It was a pale blue lacy thing that gave the illusion of showing more than it actually did. It clung to her body, the gaps in the lace showing a nude lining the exact same shade as her skin. At a glance, she might as well have been naked beneath it.
He loved it.
He fucking hated it.
“A dress.” She touched it, a frown drawing a line between her brows. “Don’t take that overprotective tone with me, Gideon. It’s a good dress.”
“It’s inappropriate for a first date. He’s going to sit across that table and spend the whole time thinking about fucking you.”
Lucy gave him a brilliant grin, her plum-colored lips mirroring the darkness of her hair, which she’d left in waves down around her shoulders. “Then it’s doing its job. Now, if you’d please get out of my way, I can take it from here.” She strode past him and through the door to the restaurant.
Jealousy flared, hot and poisonous, down the back of his throat. He didn’t have a right to it any more now than he had before, but it was a thousand times more powerful now that they’d put sex on the table. Gideon followed her inside and hooked a hand around her elbow, towing her sideways into a small hallway that led to the coat check.
It was dimmer there than in the main entrance—more intimate. He pressed his hands to the wall on either side of her shoulders. “You make me fucking crazy.”
“That makes two of us.” She poked him in the chest. “You might be calling the shots in some things, but you have to give me enough space to breathe. The compressed timeline is already going to play havoc on my instincts—I don’t need your constant presence doing the same.”
He’d think about how his presence affected her later. Right now all he could focus on was the first part of the sentence. “If the timeline is too tight, then extend it. The only person who put this deadline in place was you.”
“And it stands.” She lifted her chin. “I’m already late for this date. I don’t want to have this conversation for the seventh time. Just give me some space to breathe.”
He pushed off the wall even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. The truth was that he wanted Lucy, and it was fucking up his head space and messing with his instincts. He knew better than to push her, but he couldn’t help doing it all the same. He wanted her and she wanted him—at least physically.
What if it could be more than just physical?
What if I actually played for keeps?
The thought stopped him in his tracks.
He watched Lucy greet the hostess and follow her deeper into the restaurant, but he couldn’t move. This whole time, he had been letting Lucy take the wheel and guide things—at least to some extent. Gideon had handled her so goddamn carefully because he was well aware of the damage Jeff had caused her and he blamed himself, at least a little, because of it. That guilt was the same reason he hadn’t pushed her to face the fact that there was more than just friendship between them.
But what if he did?
He couldn’t hit this head-on—Lucy would tell him to get lost, and with good reason. She had her eye on the prize and she wouldn’t be deterred by an outside force, even if it was Gideon.
If he could get her to change her mind, that would be a different story.
Gideon smiled.
Let her have her date with Mark. The guy was nice enough, but Gideon fully intended to take her to bed until she was so wrapped up in him that she forgot Mark’s fucking name.
* * *
A man looked up as Lucy approached the table the hostess had indicated. He was cute in a hipster sort of way, his close-cropped beard and glasses a combination that would have been strange five years before. Now it seemed like everyone had them. The only thing missing was suspenders or a bow tie. Instead, he wore a nice button-up shirt and a pair of slacks. When he rose to pull her chair out for her, she got an eyeful of his broad shoulders and clearly outlined muscles.
Too many muscles. Too much facial hair.
Oh, my God, stop. What is wrong with me?
He resumed his place and grinned at her, his teeth white and straight. “Lucy, I presume. Otherwise, this is about to get incredibly awkward.”
That startled a laugh out of her. “Yes, I’m Lucy.” She extended her hand. “That would make you Mark.”
“The very one.” He gave her a firm handshake, which she appreciated. Too many men—especially men who worked in corporate jobs—tended to give handshakes like they thought they’d break her. It drove her crazy.
Mark leaned back, his gaze roaming over her face.
Another mark in his favor—not ogling my chest. Lucy gave herself a shake. She had to stop overanalyzing every second of this date. Mark was most definitely not Gideon, and that didn’t have to be a tally in the negative column.
It was just hard to focus when she could still smell Gideon’s cologne from where he’d pressed her against the wall a few short minutes ago. It wasn’t musky and strong like so many men she knew—it was light and clean and reminded her of... She couldn’t place it.
Focus.
She gave a polite smile. “Thank you for agreeing to the date.”
“When Gideon called me and explained the situation, I’ll admit I didn’t believe him.” The corner of his mouth hitched up. “And then I asked him what was wrong with you.”
She tensed and then admonished herself for doing so. He was joking. He didn’t really think there was something wrong with her. “As you can see, I’m in possession of all my teeth.”
“Not to mention beautiful and successful.” Mark’s easy smile made the words fact rather than a throwaway compliment. “I’ve heard of marriages of convenience, but I assumed they were the stuff of fiction. This whole situation is kind of strange.”
“I can’t argue that.” She’d known it was a reach the second she’d called Gideon to put the plan into action. That didn’t change the fact that she had no other option. “But I have to ask. If you think it’s so strange, why are you here?”
He sighed. “I’m fucking up this small talk, aren’t I? That was way too heavy to start in on.”
“I don’t mind. This isn’t exactly the most conventional situation.” She appreciated the frankness, even if there was something missing from this interaction that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Mark was attractive—there was no denying that—but... Lucy didn’t know. It was off.
“In that case, I agreed to this because I’ve worked eighty-hour weeks for several years and that won’t be stopping anytime soon. I don’t know if you’ve been to a bar lately, but meeting people there is a joke. Everyone is on their phones or with their friends or not interested. Dating apps are even worse, in large part because women have so many nightmare encounters that they’re edgy and distant. It makes it hard to really get to know a person when they’re sure that you’re going to turn on a dime and send a dick pic or freak out because they cancel the date.” He shrugged. “It comes down to time. I don’t have much of it to meet new people and jump through the hoops of first dates and second dates—and balancing the knife edge of showing that I’m interested without being too goddamn pushy.” Mark sighed. “Sorry. It’s a sore spot for me.”
There was a story there—perhaps several.
The waitress appeared to take their order and then disappeared as quickly. Lucy leaned forward. “Tell me some of your dating stories.”
He raised his eyebrows. “If there was a playbook for first dates, I’m one hundred percent sure it wouldn’t include recalling dates with other women.”
“This is hardly your textbook first date.” She smiled. “My little sister runs the gauntlet of online dating, and some of her stories defy belief.”
“I wish I could say she was making it all up.” Mark relaxed a little, just the slight loosening in his shoulders. She hadn’t realized he was tense until it disappeared. He grinned. “If she’s half as beautiful as you, she’s seen more than her fair share of crazy on those sites.”
“I’m sure she has.” Lucy knew all too well that Becka had kept plenty of it back, sharing only the funny stories. That was what gave her away—there only seemed to be funny stories. Nothing dark, nothing worrisome. Nothing indicating she’d met anyone she had more than a passing interest for. “Tell me about them.”
He hesitated, surveying her expression, but he must have seen only the interest she felt there because he chuckled. “I’d rather know more about you. Gideon said you’re a lawyer.”
“I’m a defense attorney.” She had to wonder what else Gideon had told Mark and the other men he’d managed to get to agree to meet her. Lucy looked good on paper. She was confident in that, even if she wasn’t in any other romantic aspect of her life.
But a lot of women looked good on paper and weren’t going about marriage in such an odd way.
Mark leaned forward, expression attentive. “Do you like it? I’ve been fascinated with the court system since I was a kid. Too many Law & Order marathons, you know.”
“It’s not much like that in real life. There’s a truly unglamorous amount of paperwork, and research can be tedious to the point where I’ve believed more than once that it might kill me.” She forced herself to relax a little. “But actually being in court is exhilarating. It’s like a game of chess but with higher stakes. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
Their food arrived and the conversation proceeded easily, her work moving into his work as cybersecurity expert, and then sharing a bit about their childhoods. Mark was as nice as he was handsome and Lucy waited through the entire meal for her heartbeat to pick up at the sight of his smile, or for her mind to leapfrog into what it would be like to get naked with him.
There was nothing but a vague pleasant feeling of spending her time in friendly conversation.
No sizzle whatsoever.
She’d asked for that, but she couldn’t help comparing him to Gideon. They were different in so many ways. Mark was built lean like a blade—a very well-muscled blade—whereas Gideon looked like a Viking who had decided he’d bring his pillaging to the corporate world. His broad shoulders created a V that tapered down to a narrow waist and there was no way he’d be able to buy a suit off the rack with those powerful thighs.
Mark was attractive but missing a vital component she couldn’t put her finger on. A sizzle. A flair. Something that screamed life.
I’ve been reading too many romance novels.
Or maybe she was trying to rationalize something that couldn’t be rationalized. She didn’t have a connection with Mark. That didn’t mean there was something wrong with her—or with him. It just wasn’t there.
Mark seemed to notice it, as well. He paid for their meal and sat back with a rueful smile. “This has been fun, but I won’t be hearing from you for a second date, will I?”
She liked his frankness. She just wished she felt some kind of pull to the match.
Lucy pressed her lips together. “I can’t say for certain.”
“I get it.” He stood and moved around the table to pull out her chair. “I’d love to get to know you better—as friends.”
That was exactly it. She’d enjoyed the dinner. She wouldn’t mind spending more time with him. She just couldn’t imagine walking down the aisle to him, even in an arranged setting. “Thank you for a wonderful evening.”
Mark pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. “You’re something special, Lucy Baudin. I hope you get what you’re looking for.”
“You, too. She’s out there. Don’t give up yet.”
He squeezed her hand. “Good night, Lucy.”
She followed him to the door and allowed him to hail her a cab. It was only when she was on her way back to her apartment that she took out her phone and texted Gideon.
Heading home.
I’ll be there in thirty.
Her stomach dipped pleasantly and she clenched her thighs together. There was no mistaking what would happen the second he walked through her door, and her skin heated just thinking about it.
She couldn’t wait.