I’m still giggling as Adam and I traipse up the front steps to my apartment. The image of Jillian’s mortified face is etched in my mind like a bad tattoo.
“That protein shake fiasco”—I muse aloud—“that was comedy gold.”
“It definitely was.” Adam grins, his eyes dancing with delight. “Her face matched your hair. I mean, who knew embarrassment was that shade of red?”
“Oh, I did.” I chuckle. “But it’s nice to have someone else sporting it instead of me.”
As we reach the top step, there’s Grandma Elise, perched on a deck chair with a tabloid magazine across her lap.
“What’s so funny over there, you two?” she asks, her eyes narrowing with the kind of curiosity that could outdo a cat.
“Just gym stuff, Grandma,” I say, exchanging a glance with Adam that’s brimming with unspoken hilarity.
Now, had we been filming, I’m fairly certain it would have been an instant hit on Instagram. Viral material, for sure.
Maybe then Adam’s IG account would have something better to buzz about.
“Sure, gym stuff.” Grandma arches a white eyebrow, and a smirk plays on her lips. “Why don’t you two come in? I’m about to put the kettle on. I could use a little gossip to break up my day.”
“Says the woman who was just reading Star Magazine,” I tease, pointing at the tabloid.
She shrugs sheepishly.
Adam gives me a look—that ‘what do you think?’ kind of look—and I shake my head subtly. There’s more I need to face and I need to do it before I lose my nerve.
“We’ll take a raincheck this time. I promise we’ll do dinner soon,” I offer with a smile.
Her eyes narrow and her smirk grows. “I get it. Off for some ‘alone time’?” She winks so obviously it’s like a neon sign. “I’ll grab the earplugs then.”
“Grandma—” I exclaim, my cheeks instantly burning.
There’s embarrassment—and then there’s Grandma-level embarrassment. Trust her to turn a simple ‘no’ into a nudge-nudge-wink-wink situation.
I mean, she’s not entirely wrong, but still.
“What?” She chuckles sheepishly, clearly pleased with herself before she waves us off. “Go on, now. I’d hate to come between you and some hanky panky.”
On that note, I spin on my heel, and reach for my door. Adam and I escape up the stairs, my laughter now a mixture of amusement and sheer mortification.
“Your grandma is something else,” he says, shaking his head.
“She’s got a heart of gold but a mouth that could outmatch any sailor,” I admit, unlocking my apartment door. “But hey, that’s family for you.”
“That it is. Brian is constantly and forever trying to find a way to push my buttons. If he can embarrass me doing it, all the better.” He chuckles, shaking his head.
“We definitely need to spend more time with your bother,” I say, running my hand along his arm and batting my eyelashes.
He just narrows his eyes and harrumphs. However, humor sparkles in his gray irises and I know a part of him would actually like the razzing.
Once inside, I close the door behind us, leaning against it for a moment. The laughter fades, replaced by a fluttering in my stomach.
This is it.
The moment of truth.
Facing Jillian was one thing, but for some reason, this feels harder.
Or maybe more significant.
“Want something to drink?” I ask, more to give my hands something to do than out of hospitality.
Adam shakes his head, his gaze gentle. “I’m good, thanks. Let’s just sit and talk.”
I nod, leading the way to my couch. Compared to his place, my house isn’t anywhere near as sophisticated. There are books stacked everywhere and there are piles of unfinished manuscripts printed and forgotten in various locations.
I really should clean up, come to think of it.
We sit down, and I’m acutely aware of the space between us, filled with unspoken questions and anticipation.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, a nervous habit I’ve never been able to kick.
“Adam, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you,” I start, my voice barely above a whisper. “Something important.”
He leans forward, elbows on his knees, as he gives me his full attention. “Okay, I’m all ears.”
I take a deep breath, feeling like I’m about to step off a cliff. “It’s about that night at the club,” I say, my heart racing. “And, well, about me. The full me.”
His brow furrows slightly, concern flickering in his eyes. “All right.” He reaches out, pulling my hands to his. “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I respond, nodding a bit too vigorously. “I mean, I will be. It’s just—what I’m about to tell you, I’ve never told anyone. Well, outside of my author friend group, anyway. So, it’s kinda weird for me. ” I pause, my heart a symphony of erratic beats. “That night at Nocté, I wasn’t just pushing my boundaries or trying to move past what my ex did … Though, that all played its role.”
“I get that,” he says, watching my every move.
“Well, that night, I was trying to embrace a part of me that’s always been hard for me to embody. It was liberating, scary, and ...” I trail off, searching for the right word.
Adam’s grip on my hands tightens reassuringly, encouraging me to continue.
“It was empowering,” I finally say, meeting his gaze. “I’ve always written about these strong, sexually confident women. That’s my niche. But me, being like them? That was a fantasy. Until that night.”
I hold his gaze, hoping that my words convey their meaning.
He nods, his expression a blend of intrigue and support. “Well, I’m shocked. There’s more to Carlie than meets the eye. It’s almost as if she’s a dynamic woman.”
I chuckle, his words lightening the tension in my stomach a bit. “Way more, apparently. Which is why I write under a pen name. It’s how I express myself freely, without judgments or expectations. I wanted a safe space to explore. You know?”
“I get that, totally,” he says, his thumb rubbing gently across the top of my hand and drawing my attention for a moment.
I smile, trying to pull some of his support into myself. “So, not even the Dirty B’s—they’re my bookclub friends—they don’t even know this. But I want you to know. I want you to know all of me.”
He places his warm hand on my cheek. Then, slowly, he bends in, brushing his lips to mine. His kiss is slow and deliberate and takes my breath away.
When we pull apart, he says, “Carlie, whatever you’re about to share, know that it doesn’t change how I see you. You’re amazing, just as you are. And if you’re not ready—”
I take in a deep, steadying breath, bolstered by his words. “Thank you, Adam. That means more than you know.” I pause, finding the courage to reveal my secret. “My pen name is Zoey Cummings.”
“Zoey Cummings? Wait a minute—I’ve heard of her.”Adam’s eyes widen slightly, a look of admiration and surprise mingling on his face. “Your books—they’re ... wow.”
I can’t help but laugh, a mix of relief and amusement. “Yeah, ‘wow’ is one way to put it. But writing as Zoey, it’s been more than just a career. It’s been a way for me to explore parts of myself that I’ve always kept hidden. Parts I was too scared to reveal to the people I surround myself with. So that night, I walked into Nocté with the decision to embody her and her confidence. I wasn’t Carlie that night. That’s why I was so—different.”
He squeezes my hands gently, his gaze intense yet full of warmth. “I think it’s incredible, Carlie. You’ve created this whole other world, this persona that’s empowered so many. And now, you’re embracing that part of yourself in real life.”
“You don’t think it’s weird?” I ask, biting the side of my lip.
He snickers under his breath. “No, not at all. I think it’s awesome.”
I exhale, feeling a sense of liberation with each word I speak. “That night—it was the first time I truly felt like Zoey. Because I went there not knowing who I’d end up with—if anyone—I was able to be confident, unafraid—in control. I did what I wanted with you without worrying about all the shit I’d normally let clog my mind. And I want to keep feeling that way. Not just in the shadows of a pen name, but in my everyday life. With you.”
Adam pulls me closer, his voice soft yet firm. “I’m here for all of it, Carlie. For Zoey, for you, for every part of your journey. You don’t have to hide any part of yourself with me. I find all of you sexy. The whole package.”
His words wrap around me like a warm blanket, soothing the lingering fears and insecurities. In this moment, I feel seen and accepted in a way I never thought possible.
“We have a lot to explore, you and I,” he whispers, his breath warm against my ear.
I smile, leaning into him. “Yes, we do. And I can’t wait to start.”
The room feels different now, charged with a new energy and understanding. With Adam’s support, I feel ready to step into the light, to be more of the woman I am when I’m writing as Zoey Cummings. I want that empowerment not just on the pages of my books, but in the reality of my life.
After a moment of comfortable silence, a thought nags at me, pulling me back to a lingering mystery. My eyes drift to the envelope on the coffee table.
“Adam, there’s something else that’s been on my mind,” I say, sitting up slightly.
He looks at me, curious. “What’s up?”
I bite my lip, pondering how to phrase it. “Do you wonder why we got kicked out of Nocté? Like, did they know about us before we knew about us?”
He nods slowly, his expression turning thoughtful. “Yeah, I’ve thought about that, too. It’s weird, right?”
I shrug, the mystery of it making my writerly brain go into overdrive. “It kinda feels like they found out. But how? It’s not like we were obvious about it. I haven’t gone back to Nocté since that night, either. Did …” I clear my throat, uncomfortable about having to ask. “Have you?”
I hold my breath waiting for his reaction.
When he shakes his head, I exhale.
“No, there was a certain redhead who consumed my time,” he says with a smirk.
I grin back at him, my brain still churning out ideas. “Well, then it doesn’t make any sense. Unless ...” I trail off, thinking back to the conversation with Lily.
“Unless what?” Adam prompts, leaning in closer.
“Unless someone in our circle spilled,” I muse. But there’s a part of me that can’t see Lily running off to London and tattling.
Maybe the follow Adam on Instagram and put two and two together there?
Adam takes my hand again, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Well, whatever the reason, it doesn’t change anything for us. But yeah, it’s intriguing. Nocté’s always been synonymous with mystery. Maybe that’s part of its allure—the way they want to keep it.”
I nod, my thoughts drifting to the elusive figure behind Nocté. “You know, whoever created Nocté, they’re not just running a club. From an author’s perspective, it’s like they’re orchestrating an elaborate game, one where the rules are known only to them. It’s fascinating.”
Adam cocks his head, considering. “I agree. There’s something pretty awesome about that place. And to think—that’s our origin story.”
“Yeah,” I say, a grin floating to my lips. “That’ll be an interesting one to explain when people ask.”
Adam nods, his eyes reflecting a hint of excitement. “We should probably play that one by ear. You know, read the room. Maybe we save the full truth for our close friends. But to everyone else, we met at St. Mary’s. Both are technically true.”
I lean back and chuckle. “A very good point.”
His gaze holds mine, and in that moment, the air between us crackles with unspoken promise. The mystery of Nocté, the exhilaration of my revelations, our past experiences together—it all converges into a palpable tension, ripe with anticipation.
I lean closer, my voice dropping to a whisper. “Speaking of good points …” I cringe internally at the terrible segue, but my hand finds his, our fingers intertwining. “There’s one more adventure I’d like to embark on tonight.”
His response is immediate—desire and understanding lighting up his eyes. “Carlie, I’m all in. Whatever you want, wherever this night takes us. I am. All. In.”
The room, once filled with the weight of secrets and revelations, now pulses with a different energy—one of desire, intimacy, and the thrill of new beginnings.
Maybe Grandma will get use out of her earplugs after all.
“We’ve had two unforgettable encounters,” I say, a playful challenge in my tone. “Think we can make the third time the charm?”
Adam’s smile grows wider, a little hint of mischievousness despite the tender undertone. “With you? I have no doubt.”
He stands, offering me his hand, and I take it, letting him pull me to my feet. As I step closer to him, my body tingles with an electric current that needs no words.
I lead him towards the bedroom, my heart thumping for a very different reason than when we first entered my apartment.
The mystery of Nocté and the outside world fades away, leaving only the here and now—a moment of discovery and hopefully, passion.
But most of all, uncharted territory waiting to be explored.