“What do we do now?” asked a panicked Ben.

“Make a run for it!” said Raj.

As they spun round in panic, the dummy Queen’s head bashed into the security guard’s head.

CLONK!

It was a happy accident as it knocked the security guard out. She fell to the floor with a THUMP!

“Let’s put one back and get out of here!” hissed the Queen.

The three (well, four if you include the dummy) rushed into the museum.

“This way!” chirped the Queen.

They rushed past waxworks of pop stars, film stars, sports stars, until they found the grand room decorated like a palace. Proudly standing there were a dozen waxworks of the royal family, all decked out in their finery.

“Where do you go?” asked Raj.

“One goes right there at the front and centre!” said the Queen proudly.

Ben and Raj put the dummy down into position.

“Ah! It’s good to be back!” sighed the Queen.

Then she looked at her wet lobster costume and the clothes on the dummy. “One might just swap clothes!”

“There isn’t time!” said Ben. “I can hear visitors coming into the museum right now!”

Indeed, there was the sound of excited chatter echoing along the corridors.

“One will be quick! Turn the other way, gentlemen! No peeping!”

Raj and Ben did as they were told. Then in a matter of moments the Queen called out, “You can turn round!”

Now the Queen was wearing the dummy’s dress and the dummy was wearing the lobster costume.

The Queen looked like, well, the Queen.

“That was quick!” remarked Ben.

“One has to be a quick dresser in this game!”

“My word!” began Raj. “My lobster costume in Madame Tussauds! And, ma’am, may I say you look very…”

“Queenly?” suggested the Queen.

“Yes! Queenly!”

“But one rather likes one in the lobster costume.”

“Me too!” said Raj, smiling. “I can do you a very good offer on a new one!”

The chatter of visitors was growing nearer and nearer.

“We need to go!” urged Ben.

The three made a run for the exit, but as they turned a corner they were met by a trio of American tourists trundling straight towards them.

“No!” exclaimed the Queen. “What are we going to do?”

“Pretend to be your own waxwork!” suggested Ben.

‘What?” she spluttered.

“Just stay dead still and let us do the talking!”

For once, the Queen did as she was told, and stayed dead still. She didn’t even blink. In moments, the American tourists, three large ladies in rain macs, jeans, sneakers and I LOVE USA T-shirts were upon them.

“Oh gee!” said one. “It’s Her Royal Majesty the Queen of Old Merry Engerland! I need a photo to show the folks back home!”

“Me too!”

“And me!”

The three gathered around the “dummy”.

“Will you kindly take the picture, please, sir?” one asked Raj.

“With pleasure, ladies!” he replied, taking the camera. “Say ‘cheese’!”

“CHEESE!”

SNAP!

“She looks older than in real life!” remarked one.

“And shorter!” said another.

“And heavier!” said the third.

The Queen had been biting her lip, but she couldn’t contain herself any more. “How dare you!” she thundered.

The three American ladies leaped back in fear.

“ARGH!”

“HELP!”

“IT’S ALIVE!”

“Erm… Don’t worry, ladies!” said Ben. “We work here at the museum. This is just one of our new talking waxworks!”

“It’s very lifelike!”

“Too lifelike!”

“Kinda spooky!”

“Well, we are just road-testing this one. Come along, robot Queen!” he said.

Together he and Raj hurried the Queen down the corridor.

“What a rude robot!” said one of the ladies.

Then the Queen turned round and blew a giant raspberry at them.

“PFFFFFFFT!”