CHAPTER 16
What shifting films of distance fold you, blind you, This windy eve of dreams, I cannot tell.
I know they grope through some strange mist to find you, My hands that give you Greeting and Farewell.
Nora May French, 1906
Ave Atque Vale
After the final arguments, it was a matter of waiting for the decision of the jury. They were escorted into the deliberation room by the bailiff Mike Harkelroad. The victims’ family members went to a downtown restaurant, as they had been doing since the previous May during Justin’s trial. Over lunch, they tried to fathom Taylor’s jury and how they might decide. Many agreed that they had a harder time reading the “poker faces” of this jury than those of Justin’s jury.
On December 16, the jurors came back into the courtroom to ask some specific questions. One question was whether in the summer of 2000, Taylor was delusional with schizo-affective disorder. There were also questions about one of the psychologists’ reports about Taylor’s mental illness, or lack thereof, when he was on mission in Brazil. After the questions were addressed, the jurors filed back to the deliberation room. Jewett discussed these matters with victims’ family members, and Chapot spoke with Taylor. Then the victims’ family members spent the rest of the day hanging around in the hallway outside of court, reading, chatting and contemplating.
On December 17, 2000, family and friends of Ivan, Annette, Selina, Jenny and James were still camped out in the hallway on the second floor of the Bray Building in Martinez. Some played cards on the floor, while others talked or tried to catch a nap. Then, unexpectedly, at 9:40 A.M., Bailiff Harkelroad walked out into the hallway and announced, “There’s been a verdict.”
An hour was given so that the defendant’s family, print reporters and television crews could arrive. Carma and Heather, who had not been at the Bray Building, rushed to the scene. Everywhere around the doorway of Courtroom 4, there was a sense of anticipation and finality. What had begun in July and August 2000 was finally coming to a close.
The courtroom doors were opened at 10:30 A.M., and a crowd of family members, friends, court observers and the merely curious filed in, taking every seat in the gallery. Among these were Chris Darden, Ray and Mabel Carberry, Juley Salkeld and Roger Riddle, who had begun their observations seven months before. In the intervening months, Courtroom 4 had practically become their home away from home.
Taylor Helzer was escorted to the defense table, wearing his usual blue shirt and sweater. The jurors soon followed and took their assigned seating in the jury box. Asked if they had reached a decision, the jury foreman announced that they had. A form was passed to Tom Moyer.
In a steady voice, the court clerk began the reading of the verdict. On the count of first-degree murder in the death of Selina Bishop, the jury found that Glenn Taylor Helzer should be put to death. Friends and family of the victims hugged and cried as the first sentence was delivered, followed by four more sentences of death for the murders of Ivan, Annette, Jennifer and James.
Taylor smiled at the jurors and thanked them then turned and mouthed the words to his mom, Carma, “It’s okay.”
When he was escorted away, Taylor kept a bemused smile on his face. He didn’t appear to be upset or agitated.
Outside the courtroom was a battery of television news cameras and still cameras of photojournalists. Suzanne Chapot only had a short statement for them. “The death of any person is sad. Society hasn’t reached a place where they don’t realize that killing people who kill people doesn’t serve a purpose.”
Carma Helzer was equally brief. She said, “I just want to say I’m sorry for all the trauma that the victims and their families have had to go through.”
Heather was somewhat more talkative. She said, “California should have a better way of treating mentally ill criminals, like my brothers. But in some ways, I think death is the kinder sentence.”
Harold Jewett said to the reporters, “The jury’s decision shows how valuable life is, not a sense of callousness. This decision is a reflection of how truly precious life is. He (Taylor) obviously values his life. That’s why he put up a defense. The jury’s verdict speaks to his disability claim.”
In a news conference after the verdict, jury foreman Bernie Rose, who was an attorney from San Ramon, spoke of how difficult the decision had been. He told reporters, “It is always difficult deciding to deliver death, regardless of what has been done. But we couldn’t find anything lesser. We tried to find any mitigating factors, but were unable to. I believe the death penalty is ultimately state-sanctioned revenge. The question in the end is how much does it heal wounds. But we took an oath. We couldn’t find anything lesser than death.”
To the point of death versus life for Taylor, Olga Land told a roomful of reporters, “Taylor needs to face Selina. He needs to face Jenny, and Mr. Gamble, and Mr. and Mrs. Stineman. He needs to face God. He was not the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. He was the Second Coming of Manson.”
The victims’ family members sat at a long table answering questions of news reporters. They insisted that Concord PD detective Judy Elo and Marin County detective Erin Inskip sit with them. Through most of the conference, they all held hands.
Jenny’s sister-in-law Donna Futch said, “We can start to recover from this. Every day in court was like ripping the wound open again.”
Nancy Hall explained, “Taylor befriended my parents and then he did this to them. It’s very hard to believe that there’s a human being on this planet who could do something like this to such sweet old people.”
Except for Justin’s one outburst in the courtroom during his penalty phase, he had been silent while sitting at a defense table. All of that changed on February 5, 2005, however. According to Chris Darden, who was sitting in the gallery, along with Nancy Hall, “Justin walked into the courtroom with a full, scraggly beard. He was essentially acting as his own attorney at this point, with Mr. Cook and Mr. Hoehn at his side. Starting at nine-twenty A.M., Justin started speaking to the court. The reason Justin was speaking was that he had received two law books in the jail and wanted to represent himself.
“Justin claimed prosecutorial misconduct on Mr. Jewett’s part. He claimed that Jewett continued slamming the hammer down on his file repeatedly in front of the jury at least three times.
“Mr. Jewett replied, ‘Actually, I believe that was Justin remembering himself doing that to Selina! I only hit my file once.’
“Justin went so far as to want the transcript to be read back, to prove his point. And Justin wanted to know why, if it wasn’t in the transcript, the reason it was missing.
“Justin said, ‘Who’s to say Mr. Jewett’s memory is to be believed more than my memory? Why take Mr. Jewett’s memory about the hammer being slammed down once, over my memory of it being slammed down at least three times, but no more than five times, if it is not in the transcript at all?
“Then Justin added, ‘Mr. Jewett is an experienced, skillful prosecutor and should have known Mr. Cook or Mr. Hoehn would object to him slamming the hammer down on the files, and therefore should have given them the opportunity to raise objections. But he chose to be deceitful about letting anyone know he was going to do that in front of the jury, so as not to risk being ordered by the court not to slam the hammer down. Then, after doing so, Mr. Jewett was not even admonished by the court or given a slap on the wrist.’
“To emphasize this point, Justin slapped himself on the wrist, and said angrily, ‘Mr. Jewett got off scot-free!’
“As Justin glared down past Mr. Cook, at Mr. Jewett, Jewett refused to turn away from Justin’s sassy looks. He continued to glare back at Justin.
“Then Justin said that Jewett had misled the jury about the AK-47 he was supposed to own. Justin said, ‘Mr. Jewett would just have the jury believe that I was walking around the city blasting an AK-47 at everyone! ’
“Justin said that Jewett had implied that Justin was not just a follower of Taylor, but acted on his own. At that point, Justin started verbally going berserk and mouthing off as he leaned behind Mr. Cook’s back toward Mr. Jewett. And Justin mouthed off to the judge as well, stating his notions and repeating analogies three or four times. His analogy would come full circle, but right when you thought it was over, he would lead into another analogy. To me, it seemed like pent-up anger that Justin had been holding back for so long.
“While he was rambling on, he said, ‘I’m not the same person I was four-and-a-half years ago. I’ve grown since I’ve been in jail. You have to grow in jail or you’ll die. It’s sink or swim in there—so, of course, I’m not a follower now!
“‘No, I don’t think Taylor is a prophet anymore. I haven’t been around Taylor since I’ve been in jail, so I’ve been able to grow to be assertive and in people’s faces. If you’re not, you’ll die there. So when Mr. Jewett is comparing me to what I was like four-and-a-half years ago, it’s like comparing apples to oranges.
“‘And why, oh why, folks? Well, let me tell you why! Mr. Jewett is a liar and a hypocrite. I don’t know which is worse! But I would think being a hypocrite is worse.’
“At this point, the court reporter said, ‘Justin! Justin! Can you slow down some? I just want to be sure that I get everything you’re saying.’
“Mr. Cook whispered to Justin in a very forceful manner, ‘Calm down!’
“Justin looked over at Mr. Cook with his cocky half-smile, as if to show Cook that he no longer was under Mr. Cook’s counsel, nor taking his advice.
“Then Justin asked Judge Mary Ann O’Malley to ‘recant’ herself. He probably meant to say recuse herself. He said, ‘Your Honor, before we get started on the motion of the court recanting herself, I would like another judge to decide that motion, since it’s just like Mr. Jewett deciding his own matter on prosecutorial misconduct.’
“Judge O’Malley nodded her acknowledgment at Justin’s request and continued on with Justin’s motions.
“Justin said that Judge O’Malley allowed the jury pool to grow too large during the screening process. And he disagreed with specific rulings throughout the trial. He implied that Judge O’Malley made her rulings based on emotions and personal feelings, rather than based on law. Justin said he would take any judge to rule on his objections except from Judge O’Malley’s husband, who was also a Contra Costa County judge.
“Of this, he said, ‘I understand your husband is a judge. So I wouldn’t want your husband to be appointed to my case, since you’re married to him.’
“Then Justin directed his arguments toward his counsel Mr. Cook. He said that Cook refused to subpoena a lot of people Justin requested. These included neighbors at Pacheco Manor with whom he had a very good relationship while growing up. He had also requested the Phister family, who had spoken at Taylor’s trial, and several Sorenson relatives. Justin’s reasoning for the Sorenson family, however, didn’t make a lot of sense. He said, ‘The information is out there in the Sorenson family. If Gail Kissam (a defense investigator) was not able to get the information from them, it was because the right questions were not asked. The Sorensons won’t talk to Carma, or have anything to do with her. Carma calls up the Sorensons and all she gets is, “You’re the Devil and your son is a murderer!” And then the phone clicks. The right approach was not taken. It’s because if the right approach was taken, and if the court would have ordered a writ or a mandate, or something to order these people to tell the truth, under oath, under penalty of perjury, here in front of people, then I think there would have been a different result. The Sorensons don’t believe in mental illness. They think if you murder someone, then the murderer should be executed. They don’t believe mental illness might have played a part in it.’
“When it came time to rule on Justin’s motions, Judge O’Malley reminded Justin that Mr. Jewett hit his file with the hammer one time to show the jury a person’s intent to kill Selina Bishop. Since the hammer blow came during the guilt phase, it was allowed as evidence.
“Judge O’Malley refused to recuse herself and said she had made all of her decisions during the trials based upon the law. O’Malley stood fast that no inappropriate actions had occurred on her bench during the trial or at any time thereafter, and therefore she would remain the presiding judge in his case.”
Simon Read, of the Tri Valley Herald, was also there and wrote of Justin’s antics: “As he (Justin) explained his concerns with the prosecutor’s case, Helzer often looked directly at Jewett and spoke as if scolding a child. Helzer castigated his defense team for not calling additional witnesses on his behalf. Among those he wanted called were his former neighbors for whom he had baked cookies.”
By February 2005, Justin Helzer’s cookie baking days were over. In that month he awaited Judge O’Malley’s formal declaration of his sentence, as did Taylor Helzer. The formal sentencing finally arrived on March 11, 2005. One of those allowed to speak for the families was Judy Nemec, the Stinemans’ daughter. She said, “I’ve had four and a half years to compose this. I’m the youngest daughter of Ivan and Annette Stineman. My parents did the right things in life. They worked full time, paid their bills and taxes and provided a secure home life for my sister and me. As they raised their family, they invested in company stock with an eye toward retirement. They weren’t wealthy, but they sacrificed to save for their retirement years. Once retired, they entrusted their savings to what they perceived to be a reputable trading company.
“My mom and dad were not ready to die. They were not terminally ill. They still had their faculties and were extremely active. They were members in several clubs, volunteers at the senior center, traveled frequently and enjoyed their pets, family and friends. They were the stereotypical elderly couple in their sunset years, living simply to assure their retirement money would see them through their lives.
“My parents didn’t pass away. The Lord didn’t call them home. And their time on earth was not up. Someone they knew, trusted and cared for handcuffed and shackled them and abducted them from the safety and security of their home. They were then drugged and forced to write checks for a large portion of the nest egg they worked so hard for.
“I still am haunted by the fact my parents were held hostage for a period of time. I don’t care how smooth the perpetrators thought they were. I know my mother and dad. It doesn’t matter that they were told they would be released in three days. The fact that they were handcuffed and guarded led them to suspect otherwise.
“It sickens me to know the last faces my parents saw were those of evil, uncaring people who were so greedy for my parents’ retirement money that they were willing to kill for it. I am still dumbfounded that an impersonator can request your investments be liquidated by phone and it is done without question as long as the right information is provided.
“These murders go beyond cruel, based on Dawn Godman’s testimony. After my parents were drugged and carried into the bathroom, they were awakened to say good-bye. Did the murderers need to see the panic and fear in my parents’ eyes to know what it was like to kill?
“After unsuccessfully trying to smother my struggling parents, Justin Helzer beat my father to death, hammering his head on the bathroom floor again and again until his heart gave out. Daddy’s autopsy report also indicated contusions to his upper chest and abdomen. These cowards found pleasure in beating a drugged, defenseless and arthritic eighty-five-year-old man.
“Glenn Taylor Helzer slit my mother’s throat. Mama’s right orbit bone fractured and she was stabbed more than twenty times, some wounds occurring before death according to the medical examiners. These gentle people spent their last hours on earth as terrified captives who were cruelly and brutally slain by evil personified for their retirement money. I can not think of anything more cowardly than to target helpless people to satisfy selfish greed.
“It would seem that learning my parents were captive, beaten, drugged, stabbed, dismembered, and my mother eviscerated and thrown out like garbage would be the hardest part of coping with this horror. It is not. Not finding them or knowing what happened to them was far worse. If nature hadn’t intervened, the murderers would have been successful in their plan to hide what they had done.
“Mama and Daddy should have died with dignity. Instead, we laid our murdered and dismembered parents to rest on their 55th wedding anniversary. The mortician leading us throughout the early days of this horror, explained that the coroner was trying to assure that the right parts went to the right family. When we discussed the mortuary’s involvement in my parents’ preparation for burial, we were told that very little could be done other than to add a disinfectant to keep the smell down.
“My mother had an unnatural fear of water. Because of this, she and daddy arranged for a mausoleum crypt so she wouldn’t be laid to rest in the wet ground. To know she was left in a watery grave haunts me to this day. There is no penalty in our judicial system to adequately compensate these people for their acts against these two sweet, trusting, elderly people. If the world were fair, the same amount of compassion would be shown the Helzers as they showed my parents. But the world is not fair.
“The impact of my parents’ murders have [sic] had on my life a huge impact. After hearing the testimony, with four and a half years to adjust, I still have trouble believing the acts these three people carefully planned out. I know my mom and dad are gone, but the brutality of their deaths is still too horrific to accept. I’m confused, distracted, fearful, depressed, lost and alone. My life is a little too complicated for my long-time friends. I have suffered financially, since I am self-employed.
“My parents’ ordeal was not an episode of Law and Order, in which fictional characters meet an untimely death and there is an arrest and trial in an hour. Ivan and Annette Stineman were living, kind, gentle and happy people. These two lovely people have always been a source of love and support in my life. They taught me that things happen for a reason, but there is no good reason for what happened to them.
“I will forever be haunted by the events that began on July 30, 2000. My sister and I knew something serious had happened to my mom and dad. I can only imagine how frightened they were before they were murdered. Due to the fact my mother’s internal organs were removed, I’ll never know if she was beaten, raped or whatever motivated these evil people to eviscerate her. It’s not that I think of these things occasionally. Even with the passage of this incredible amount of time, I think of them constantly. Every day, every hour of my life.
“My parents were my best friends. Birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Thanksgiving are times when the grief is overwhelming. Christmas used to be a holiday our family looked forward to with food, family, friends and gifts. Now my husband, sister, aunt and I spend Christmas at the movies. I feel cheated and realize what I am feeling is nothing like the betrayal that Mama and Daddy must have felt.
“Throughout the Helzer trials, I have heard repeatedly the plan to bring unconditional love to the world. I found it ironic that the first comment I made when my parents’ remains were recovered from the Delta was that my unconditional love was gone. I didn’t appreciate it for what it was until it was taken away.
“Thankfully, I spent some quality time with Mama and Daddy two months to the day before they were murdered. I can still see them at the airport with their arms around each other, waving as I boarded my plane for home. My love for them is still as strong as it was the last time that we hugged good-bye.”
After Judy Nemec, Justin Helzer spoke briefly. “I hope to see the day when globally all spiritual truths are fully and voluntarily embraced in our collective spiritual beings, the awareness in every mind great and small. And violence is never necessary, that love joy and peace are the only eternal constants so that confusion, fear and suffering no longer exist amongst us. That day’s birth is in process, and though at times, the process is painful, when that day arrives, all will rejoice together. Thank you. That’s all.”
A few more matters were discussed between the judge and Justin’s lawyers, and it almost went unnoticed that Carma Helzer wanted to speak from the gallery until Daniel Cook said, “Before you impose sentence in the remaining counts, would you please give the opportunity for my client’s mother to be heard?”
With a soft, kind voice Judge Mary Ann O’Malley responded, “Absolutely. Ms. Helzer, go ahead.”
In a voice, very much akin to Heather’s voice on the stand, Carma said through tears, almost gasping for breath, “First of all, I would like to express my gratitude for the makers of the Constitution of the United States who attempted to the best of their ability to provide each of us as citizens to [sic] have a fair trial. I have never seen the system in action before and I thank all those who formed it and all those who are doing their best to implement the intention of giving us a fair trial.
“I want to express my gratitude to all of you who took part in this and did your very best. I know that everyone in this room . . . well, I feel that those who took part in this are doing their best to create a safe place for us to live in comfort and peace. And I do not take this as a personal vendetta against anyone in particular. This (case) has moved through with a desire and intention for peace and safety for all.
“I want to acknowledge the tremendous amount of suffering that has been experienced because of all of this and I also acknowledge the natural tendency to blame families and mothers and parents for people who they believe committed the crime. Everybody who does blame me, I don’t blame you for blaming me. And those who blame Justin, I don’t blame you for blaming him. And I understand all the reasons for it.
“I want to thank you, Judge O’Malley, today, publicly, for your efforts in creating a safe place for us to live. I want to thank you, Mr. Jewett, publicly today, for doing what you think is right in creating a safe place for us to live. And I want to thank the juries publicly and all the people, the time and sacrifice that they made in following through on their duties as citizens. And I know how hard . . . well, I don’t know how hard it must have been, because I wasn’t there, but I can imagine it.
“And I want to thank Justin’s attorneys for doing their best.
“I want to thank my son, for being my son, and for all the blessings he’s brought into my life and to many other people in his life before these events occurred. I know, Justin, that you are not the sum of what you’ve been convicted of, but you are far more than that. All of us are far more than just one event in our lives and one stupid mistake.
“Thank you for letting me speak.”
Once again in a thoughtful voice, Judge O’Malley said, “You’re welcome, Mrs. Helzer.”
Now it was time. Judge O’Malley read through the various counts and said, “Therefore, this is to command you, the Sheriff of said Contra Costa County, as provided in said judgement, to take Justin Alan Helzer to the State Prison at San Quentin, California, and deliver him into the custody of the warden of the State Prison.
“Further, this is to command you, the warden of the State Prison at San Quentin, California, to hold in your custody the said Justin Alan Helzer pending the decision of this cause on appeal, and upon this judgement becoming final, to carry into effect the judgement of said Court at a time and on a date to be hereafter fixed by order of this Court within the State Prison and at which time and place you shall then and there put to death said Justin Alan Helzer, in the manner and means prescribed by law.
“In witness thereof, I have hereunto set my hand as Judge of said Superior Court and have caused the seal of the said Court to be affixed hereto, in open court this day of March 11, 2005.”
Then in the absolutely silent courtroom, she wrote her name on the document, and everyone could hear the sound of the pen as it moved along the paper.
That same afternoon, it was Taylor’s turn. Robert Asuncion once again spoke for his side of the family and former Detective Erin Inskip spoke of what the tragedy had done to her personally. She said in part, “In the thirteen years I was in law enforcement, I have to say this, in the courtroom when I entered here, I was scared to death. I thank you Mr. Jewett and his team for every sacrifice that they made. It makes me really sad to know that Mr. Helzer took out five beautiful people in a very brutal fashion.”
Turning directly toward Taylor she said, “You profoundly affected my life, and I mean it affected every aspect of my life. It still does today. Unfortunately, I lost my career as a result of this. During a conversation in the jail (with Taylor) he said, that he was afraid. That’s why he jumped out of the car and took off running. And said that he was sorry that he had done that. He hoped that he hadn’t hurt my career.
“You know, I think that at times, people have an expectation of law enforcement, that we’re strong and that we have to be in order to do our job. Without going into great detail, what I witnessed was awful. It was absolutely awful, and to know that it happened to a person . . . well, they weren’t strangers to Mr. Helzer. They trusted him and allowed him into their lives.
“I’ll never be able to understand how a person can do that to another person. It just makes no sense. I’m not the only one who struggles with that. I will always struggle with that.
“As I reflect on the initial part of our investigation. . . Selina was a smart cookie. Her intuition told her that something was not right. And she put the pen to paper and put her thoughts down on paper. And she left her pager behind. Nobody will know why she did that. I think she had a sixth sense. I think she knew that something wrong was happening. And as an investigator I’m so glad we had that information, because it took us to the right place in a very short period of time.”
(Pointing to the Stineman daughters and Selina’s relatives) “I have an extended family now. More brothers and sisters. I love each and everyone of you. And God bless you. I am so, so sorry.”
Ms. Chapot spoke briefly on Taylor’s behalf, saying there was more to him than just a murderer. “Taylor is not all evil. There is a wonderful, wonderful part of Taylor. A fascinating, interesting, good part of Taylor. That I was not able to show that sufficiently in court is a burden that I have to bear for the rest of my life.”
Finally it was the turn of the mastermind of everything that had happened in the Days of Thunder in 2000. A hush fell over the court room as Taylor Helzer stood and began to address the gallery.
He told the people in the packed gallery that he felt like he risked giving offense by speaking or keeping silent, and he apologized if his words did give offense. He acknowledged that even his presence might give offense. He said that his hope was that his words might speed the healing process for them. And then he said that he realized that his actions had been “unspeakably horrific,” and that he was very, very sorry. Taylor said that at the time, his actions were not meant to be horrific. He turned toward Detective Erin Inskip and said that he had been doing a good thing.
Taylor explained that if he was purely evil, he would delight in their misery. Then he added, this was not the case, and to continue hating him was to give him power. He said, “I cannot conceive of suggesting that you forgive. I suggest that if you choose not to forgive, that you consider me less than dirt on your shoes, and do whatever you can to forget me. If your peace of mind depends on my execution, you give my life and my choices continuous power over you and your lives.”
Taylor said that evil had no value, and that he hoped their memories of him would fade when he was executed. If they obtained joy from his death, then he was for that. He asked why they should even taint their thoughts with him, and he understood why they, and society, would want to execute him. From here, however, his words veered in a different direction. Taylor spoke of children who were mentally, emotionally, sexually and physically addicted to drugs and dangerous behavior. They turned to crime to support their habits. He said these things led to murder, but could the people in the courtroom, say in all honesty, that the murderers should not have time to repent and change their ways?
He announced that a trial often hund in the balance between two unequal actors (in a reference to Mr. Jewett and Ms. Chapot). He said that in America, a great deal of time and money was placed in a capital case to try and enforce fairness. Then he added that governments less noble than America’s used capital punishment for political ends. He called it legalized, state-sanctioned murder.
At this point, Mr. Jewett became incensed at the direction that Taylor’s speech was going. Jewett said to Judge O’Malley, “Could I request if the defendant is going to talk about the government, he be admonished to contain his comments to the Court and not the gallery, please?”
Taylor replied, “If you want me to, I will.”
Judge O’Malley said, “If you’re talking about policy on the death pentalty, address those comments to me. If you’re apolgizing to the victims’ families, you may make your comments to the audience. Thank you.”
Taylor replied, “Thank you. And thank you, Mr. Jewett.” He then faced Judge O’Malley and said that governments less noble than that of the United States murdered thousands of innocent people with the specific intent to keep themselves in power. He added, that by having the death penalty in the United States, the government lost whatever moral high ground they sought to obtain within the whole community. Then he said he was done talking about the death penalty, and turned once more toward the gallery, and Detective Inskip in particular.
Then Taylor turned once more to the gallery. “Ms. Inskip brought such a sense of openness and honesty and such pain with the statement that she didn’t understand. I have felt until I saw it per you that what I did was inexplicable. And forgive me and I’m sorry if I offend anybody else by this explanation. For one person, I’m going to try to explain. And you can believe it or not, but this is the truth.
“This is the explanation if anybody wants to know how. For those of you who don’t, again, I’m sorry. I care so much about people. Worldwide. I feel like we’re a selective unit. I feel like we’re all spirit beings having a human experience, trying to progress.”
Now Taylor became very emotional and on the verge of tears. “Hundreds of thousands of people live in absolute abject poverty. Sexual slavery. Little boys are raped and sold as slaves. In the Contra Costa Times there are articles on slavery.
“There’s so much pain on a global scale in this world and the division of wealth is abhorrently concentrated in the small concentration of people. Murders, rape, thefts, terrorism, wars . . . and we don’t care. The wealth is in this country and we don’t care if it’s not our family and if it’s not our friends. We don’t care.
“We go along in our materialistic desire to pursue short-term happiness and as long as our loved ones are fine, who cares about the millions starving, dying, being raped, enslaved economically, physically and sexually. It just doesn’t matter.
“I reached a point where I was so blessed in my life, that I got fixated. I couldn’t sleep at night with the hypocrisy I found in myself, enjoying the absolute beauty of life while millions of people suffered. And I had a vision in my head what I could do to solve it if I cared enough, to follow God as much as Nephi, as much as Abraham, the prophets, through the ages.
“I saw clearly, accurate, inaccurate, who cares, how it could occur with $200,000. And people were getting in my way . . . well, whatever. I think you get the point.
“If anybody thinks this is justification, it is not justification. It is no attempt to justify my actions. There is no way I would do that. In pure idiocy, I did a coldhearted calculation. I thought, be a hypocrite. Enjoy your life to the utmost and fullness and let the world suffer for a finite amount or save millions. And that’s your answer how.”
Outraged that Taylor considered Selina to be a finite number and not a real human being, Roseanne Lusk Urban sitting in the second row of the gallery waved a small photo of Selina Bishop at him in anger. Taylor noticed her action and mouthed the words, “I see it.”
Despite his words, despite his detailed explanation of what had motivated him in those Days of Thunder, Judge Mary Ann O’Malley stressed the same points as she had done with Justin Helzer, only hours before. She commanded that Glenn Taylor Helzer be taken to San Quentin Prison and suffer the death penalty for his crimes against Ivan Stineman, Annette Stineman, Selina Bishop, Jenny Villarin and James Gamble.