Lights up on a living room—nice but it has an antiseptic feel to it somehow, as if the whole thing is a rental or something. It isn’t, but it has that look.
MAN seated on a couch, staring at a television. Some kind of noise coming out of it, probably an infomercial. Maybe sports.
After a moment, he gets up and looks out the window, then glances at his watch. Tries to sit again but goes to make a water with ice in the adjoining kitchen. As he does it, the doorbell rings and he spills the drink.
MAN … coming! I’m coming!!
He quickly grabs a roll of paper towels and pulls off a long piece, trying to mop up the mess. He ends up in a tangle and shakes it off. He moves the sopping pile into the sink and wipes his hands, moving toward the door at a trot. He side-steps and turns off the TV and snaps on the stereo. He checks himself in a mirror and goes to the door. Stops, takes a couple deep breaths, then opens it.
A GIRL stands near the threshold, looking off. She is a dazzler—gorgeous hair, shortish skirt, heels. Sunglasses cover her eyes. Like Lolita working for Avon.
She turns slowly and looks at him, then saunters past.
The MAN steps aside to let her in, then waves to someone outside before closing the door behind himself. A moment between them.
GIRL … took you long enough.
MAN Sorry, I was … sorry.
GIRL It’s your money.
MAN No, I know that, I realize that it’s … anyway, forgive me. (Beat.) … I spilled something.
GIRL I get that a lot.
MAN Really?
GIRL No, it’s a joke. Don’t ya get it?
MAN Ummmmmmm … no, actually. I don’t.
GIRL Forget it.
MAN No, please, I’d … what’re you saying? I just didn’t follow … your …
GIRL Guys. Spilling stuff. On me. (Beat.) Does that help?
MAN Oh. (Gets it.) Ohhhhhhh, right … got it.
GIRL Good.
MAN I get it now. Yes.
GIRL Great.
MAN That’s … very candid. As always.
GIRL Yep.
MAN Quite funny, really. That’s a good one …
GIRL Uh-huh. (Beat.) So?
MAN Right! So, so, so. Should we … do you wanna sit, or …?
GIRL Up to you.
MAN Let’s sit. I’d like that. Yes. (Beat.) We usually sit, so we should … ummmm …
GIRL Ok, then. Let’s sit.
The MAN indicates the couch and they move over to sit on it. GIRL checks her own watch. Pushes her glasses up onto her forehead.
MAN Can I get you anything?
GIRL Ummm … should we maybe, you know?
MAN What?
GIRL You-know.
MAN No. I’m …?
GIRL You are a funny one … (Beat.) Business?
MAN Ahhh, God, sorry, yes! Of course. We need to take care of … sure. That’s …
GIRL Yeah.
MAN Forgive me. There we go, all set. (Beat.) I did the cash how you like it, with the twenties in one bunch and then the tens and fives in their own … little … just how you showed me. The way you like it.
He points to an envelope on the end table. The GIRL looks at it, then reaches over and gathers it up. Checks inside it. Tosses it into her bag.
GIRL Cool. Thanks.
MAN Not a problem.
GIRL ’ppreciate it.
MAN Absolutely.
GIRL So?
MAN Yes. So. (Beat.) Would you like a drink or anything? Maybe some …?
GIRL Water’d be good. I’d take a water if you got it.
MAN Sure. Of course I’ve got water …
GIRL Great.
MAN … I mean, I’ve definitely got that.
The GIRL nods and so does the MAN. She continues to wait.
GIRL … then … how about getting me some?
He jumps up and practically runs over to the fridge. He slips on the puddle that’s still there and drops to the floor, disappearing for a moment.
GIRL Hey! You alright?!
MAN I’m ok, absolutely … just caught a slick spot here. Hold on …
The MAN gets to his feet, straightens himself out. Smiles as he tries to regain some dignity. Opens the door to the fridge.
GIRL Took quite a spill there …
MAN Right! (Laughs.) You must get that all the time …
GIRL What?
MAN Spills? (Beat.) Remember, from a little bit ago? You said the … the …
GIRL I was joking.
MAN Sure, but … I mean, so am I. It’s a joke.
GIRL Well, jokes should be amusing …
MAN Sorry, I was … trying … to be …
GIRL Can I have that water?
MAN Of course. Yes. (Looks in fridge.) Ahhh, do you like …? I have Dasani or Fiji. You can have either.
GIRL Doesn’t matter. They both have weird names, so it doesn’t matter.
MAN Oh. Well … actually, there’s a pretty big difference.
GIRL Yeah?
MAN Uh-huh. One is just, you know, water. It was all purified and everything, but … Fiji’s much better. Spring water, from the source and all that. Delicious.
GIRL It’s water.
MAN Right, I know, but … it comes out of an aquifer that’s deep in the side of the … doesn’t matter. It’s just better.
GIRL How can it be delicious?
MAN I dunno. It really is, though.
GIRL Water doesn’t have any taste.
MAN I know that, I know, but … it’s still …
GIRL Doesn’t something have to have a taste for it to be delicious? I mean, I’m not like a chef or anything, but …
MAN No, right, I know what you’re saying but you really can tell … it’s amazing how different two things can be, two like things and yet so different … (Beat.) Or you can have tap. It’s up to you.
GIRL Well … which one do you usually give me? I mean, when you don’t ask and just put a glass down in front of me … which one is that?
MAN Fiji. Unless I don’t have it, but mostly that when I do. Usually it’s the Fiji.
GIRL Ummmm … fine. I’ll take Fiji then.
MAN Great! I think you’ll really like it …
GIRL Thanks. (Checks her phone.) Do you mind?
MAN Ahhhhh, I’d prefer you didn’t …
GIRL But I can, right? Please?
MAN … sure. But just … okay … even though I’d rather that you didn’t. It’s kind of rude … when you’re visiting … someone …
The GIRL isn’t listening. She is texting. MAN grabs a bottle of Fiji out of the fridge and grabs a small plate from the rack.
MAN Here you go. (Points.) You can use this for a coaster … it’s a plate, but …
GIRL I know. I can see that.
He hurries back over to the couch. Puts a small plate down in front of her. Stands.
GIRL Are you gonna sit?
MAN Oh, sure.
GIRL I like it better when you sit. It makes me nervous when you don’t …
MAN I’m sorry. Of course, I’m happy to.
The MAN sits down, watching the GIRL finish reading and then sending yet another text. She finishes and puts her phone down. Smiles over at him.
GIRL … you always say that. With the plate thingie. Why do you do that?
MAN Because I’m … just so you’ll know.
GIRL Do you think I’m retarded or something? I can remember things … things like that, anyway. To use the plate for a coaster. I mean, seriously. Duh.
MAN No, I know you can … I mean, why do you ask if you can text when you’re here? As many times as you’ve been here, you still always ask me permission …
The GIRL looks over at him. Shrugs.
GIRL Because I’m polite, I guess. Whatever. Doesn’t matter.
MAN Yes, but it’s interesting … you know I don’t want you to, I always ask you not to … but you still do it.
GIRL So?
MAN So … I’m just saying, if we’re gonna ask questions … we could probably start with that one!
GIRL Right … (Smiles.) And is that what you wanna do with our time? Ask questions?
MAN … no.
GIRL ’Kay. Good.
The GIRL takes a sip from the water. Then another.
GIRL Mmmmmm. That is tasty … mmmmmmmm!
MAN See? Told you.
GIRL I’m kidding.
MAN Oh. Another joke, huh?
GIRL Yeah. One of the amusing kind …
MAN Right.
GIRL I can’t really tell the difference with the water. Sorry.
MAN You can’t?
GIRL Uh-uh.
MAN It’s the best around—I’ve heard lots of people say that about Fiji. (Beat.) Lots.
The GIRL opens her eyes wide and shakes her hands in the air as if to say: “Wow, that’s amazing!”
GIRL Then maybe you should have them over for a party or something. A water party and you can all talk about it. You can meet up at the aquifer with your little aqua friends and just … like … compare the different brands and shit. Sounds fun!
MAN … that’s another joke, isn’t it? You’re just … you’re making fun of me now.
GIRL Yeah. Kind of.
MAN Okay. Well, I just wanted you to have the best one. That’s all.
GIRL Fine. (Softening.) Thank you …
MAN It’s alright.
GIRL No, that’s sweet, I guess. Thanks.
MAN Not a problem.
GIRL … why do you even have the other kind?
MAN Sorry?
GIRL Of water. The kind that you don’t really recommend? If this type is so good, why do you keep the other one around?
MAN … ummmmmmm … just for …
GIRL I’m curious.
MAN It’s … for, you know. (Beat.) Guests.
GIRL Oh. Nice.
MAN No, I don’t mean for, like, you … but if somebody happens to stop over, or if one of the lawn guys—the people that cut my grass and stuff—if one of them wanted a drink … I’d probably give ’em that brand.
GIRL Is it cheaper?
MAN No, it’s … well, yeah. It usually is.
GIRL And is that why?
MAN Why, what?
GIRL Why you’d give it to them.
MAN … I … suppose …
GIRL Because you don’t wanna waste it. The other kind, the Fiji one.
MAN No, I don’t think that’s why …
GIRL Then what?
MAN Just in case, I guess! I keep it on hand for just in case I run out of the other—but sometimes I’ll give it out to people who’re … you know … others … who …
GIRL … who might not deserve the good stuff. Right?
MAN … yes. That’s probably true.
GIRL Huh. (Beat.) That’s kinda fucked up, don’t you think?
The MAN nods but doesn’t answer her. He glances at his watch, then back at the GIRL. She smiles.
GIRL Oh, I’m sorry … am I cutting into your hour?
MAN No, no, I just lost track of … the …
GIRL … uh-huh. Sure.
MAN I really did! I have this … appointment later today, so … I was … checking …
GIRL Yeah, me too. I’ve got one right after I’m done here.
MAN What?
GIRL An “appointment.” Duh. A rendezvous.
MAN Oh. Ohhhhhhh, right. Got it.
GIRL Fine. (Beat.) So?
MAN That’s … you always say that. “So?” It really unnerves me, I gotta tell you. It does. Hearing that all the time.
GIRL What?
GIRL I’m sorry! It’s a habit, I guess …
MAN Really?
GIRL Uh-huh.
MAN Why’s that? I mean, how’d it become a habit, do you think? Just … from you … from saying it so often? Or …?
GIRL God, you ask a lot of questions …
MAN Sorry. Is that a problem?
GIRL There’s another one …
MAN I just … what’s so bad about questions?
GIRL Nothing. Unless you always ask them? And then your voice always does that thing? Where it raises up at the end? And then it’s just really, really annoying?
The GIRL smiles at him innocently, then takes a drink.
GIRL Ummmmmm, that’s delicious! What is this?
MAN Funny. That’s very cute …
GIRL That’s my specialty. Cute. The cute girl-next-door. (Beat.) And golden showers, but that’s another story … (Does a rim shot.) Ba-da-bah!
MAN Right, right. O-kay.
GIRL Don’t you think that’s true … don’t you find me at all cute? Hmmmm?
MAN Of course I do … you know I do.
GIRL I’m glad. That makes me happy. Honestly.
MAN Good. (Beat.) … Is the music alright?
GIRL Yeah, it’s fine.
MAN Sure?
GIRL Very nice. I’m glad you took my advice.
MAN It’s a good album. Crazy name, but it’s nice stuff. “Goldfrapp.” (Beat.) Thanks …
GIRL Any time. As long as you pay for a full session, of course …
MAN … (Beat.) You know what? You make a lot of those … ummmmmm …
GIRL What?
MAN Nothing. It’s no big deal.
GIRL No, what?
MAN You know, “hooker” jokes … does that help or whatever? If … you … do that?
GIRL Help what?
MAN I dunno. Help make you—doesn’t matter.
GIRL Go on, say it … (Beat.) And nobody uses the word “hooker” any more, by the way! No one. Old dudes, college kids, not any body. Just so you know …
MAN Fine. I was just … trying to … be …
GIRL Look, I tell jokes—I mean, they’re not even jokes! I just say shit, goofy shit sometimes—and I do it because I’m funny … not to ease my pain or any ridiculous crap like that. Ok? I mean, God …
MAN I didn’t mean anything by it. I only …
GIRL This really isn’t gonna work if it always turns into some kind of stupid … therapy deal … every time we see each other!
MAN I wasn’t doing that! Honestly.
GIRL Well, that’s what it seems like—like you feel guilty about something, or, like … want me to feel guilty or, or … whatever.
MAN Sorry. (Beat.) No.
GIRL I know you keep looking for that “heart of gold” shit but I’m here because you pay me, alright? Over-pay me, actually, and that is the reason I come back here, even give you the time of day! Now, can you handle that or do we have a problem?
GIRL You do?
MAN Yes. Not, like, in the greater scheme of things but … yes. I get it. I get that. I get the “quit asking your stupid shit” part of all this, so … uh-huh. I do.
GIRL Good. (Laughs.) See, now that was funny! Nice one …
The GIRL waits a minute, then scoots closer to the MAN.
GIRL So?
MAN See? You did it again.
GIRL Well, what would you say? If you were me, I mean? Seriously, what?
MAN … I dunno.
GIRL No, go ahead … tell me.
MAN I’d … I’m really not sure. I can’t do that sort of thing.
GIRL Do what?
MAN Imagine what it’d be like to be you. (Beat.) To do what you do … not just because of the job, but … you know. Due to … our … thingie. Situation.
GIRL I see.
MAN I don’t mean anything by that, I really, really don’t … I just can’t. It’s like a lot of things—you can’t know what it’s like to do something until you do it …
GIRL Well, I suppose that’s true. Like riding a bike. Or scuba diving …
MAN … yeah. Like that. Except … I mean …
GIRL What?
MAN You know.
GIRL No, what?
MAN Except that … you … just forget it.
GIRL Except in scuba diving you wouldn’t suck on anybody’s cock, is that what you mean?
MAN … I wasn’t going to say that.
GIRL No, but that’s what you meant, isn’t it? It’s what you were thinking?
MAN Sort of. Yes.
GIRL Well, that’s true … I mean, unless it was connected to an air tank. A cock, I mean. Or had, like, some oxygen trapped inside of it … then you would. Right? I mean … some person in general would. (Beat.) Not you, though. Even then you wouldn’t. You in particular, I mean.
MAN … no. I don’t think so.
GIRL I mean, I would and that’s why I’d live—in a situation like that, where if a cock made the difference between me living and dying … I’d get myself busy down there—but obviously you would not. You’d rather drown than do that, wouldn’t you? To suck on some other guy’s cock, even if by the act of sucking you’d be spared. Hmmmm?
MAN … I guess so …
GIRL Or even your own cock, for that matter. If you could—anatomically, I’m saying—if you could do that you wouldn’t, would you? Not even to save yourself. (Beat.) I don’t think you’d touch that thing with a ten-foot pole, even if that was the only difference between you living and dying. Isn’t that true?
MAN … I dunno … I’d probably … just …
GIRL No, I do. I do know. I know exactly what you think you’d do—or not do—in that situation. You-would-die. Am I right?
MAN Probably! I mean, if you put it that way, then yes. I would die. (Beat.) I’m not even very comfortable with that word, so … you know … I wouldn’t …
GIRL Right … but you don’t mind it when I use it, do you? Talk dirty like that, I mean. You don’t hate it when I say “cock” or, like, “cum” or whatever … do you? I mean, I don’t recall you ever stopping me. So.
MAN … no. It’s … I don’t love it, but, you know. I’m okay with it. (Beat.) Not in a sexual way—at all—but you’re an adult.
GIRL I’ll bet. (Beat.) And that’s bullshit, by the way. You and the cock thing, because if you were dying, or about to, and that was the difference between being alive or not, I bet you’d suck your little brains out. You absolutely would. (Makes noises.)
MAN No, I wouldn’t. Uh-uh. No.
GIRL Oh yeah, sure … liar.
MAN I really wouldn’t! I promise you … I’m not able to—even if it did save me, as you say—I can’t even imagine doing that! I really really can’t.
GIRL Huh. Well … that just makes you fucking stupid, then. And an idiot.
MAN Maybe so—at least that’s what you think—but I know myself. I could never do that. Put someone’s thing in my mouth. Another man’s penis? No, not ever. (Beat.) NO.
GIRL … hmm. Aren’t we picky?
They sit in silence for a moment, not moving. They both check their watches. Looking around the room.
GIRL What other way is there to put it, by the way? The “scuba” analogy?
MAN Sorry?
GIRL You said “if you put it that way,” but I can’t think of any other way to put it. There’s only one way to put a thing like that … isn’t there? And that’s in your mouth. (Grins.) I’m joking.
MAN I know … (Beat.) I do sometimes get ’em! Your jokes.
GIRL Well, that’s good. (Checks phone.) So?
MAN What? I’m lost … I don’t know what you’re asking me here. I’m … just …
GIRL … not asking, saying. Saying that all that shit you just said was basically another way to tell me that you can’t understand what I’m doing with my life. Right? To get us onto a subject that you know pisses me off but you just can’t seem to stop yourself from talking about it … from harping on it …
MAN Ummm, I think you started this, actually.
GIRL … no … you’re the one who …
MAN Yes … with the scuba thing and all, yeah. You did.
GIRL No, uh-uh, you got on the whole topic of “I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be you” shit! You said that!!
MAN I know, but … that was because you …
GIRL … you started it!
MAN No, I was just … trying to …
GIRL You did, you totally did!
MAN Fine. I’m sorry! It’s my fault. Okay?
GIRL Doesn’t matter.
MAN I didn’t mean to make you … sorry.
GIRL It-doesn’t-matter. (Beat.) So?
MAN Yeah, “so.” We should just … yes.
GIRL Uh-huh. If we’re gonna do something. (Beat.) You wanna see my pussy?
MAN I’m … do you have to talk that way?
GIRL What? Just for a second. Nobody’d know.
MAN I just wish you’d—please don’t say that. Can we just keep doing this? Is that ok?
GIRL If you wanna.
GIRL Then go for it. Same as usual. (Checking her watch.) You got, about, forty minutes left.
MAN Great. That’s … good. I’m glad.
GIRL Yep.
The MAN sits back, takes a moment. The GIRL leans over and checks her phone again. Sends another text as she takes one more sip of her water. She looks around.
GIRL Do you have a coaster or can I just use this plate? (Smiles.) Just wanna lighten things up a touch …
MAN Right, right! No problem.
GIRL You’re always so tense.
MAN I know. Can’t help it.
GIRL Well, it makes me jumpy, so …
MAN I understand.
GIRL Then stop.
MAN I’m trying, I really am. It’s not easy.
GIRL Try harder, then. (Beat.) People can do whatever they need to do, that’s a fact. If they want to. It’s that “mind-over-matter” shit, that’s what it is …
MAN True. I’ll … do my best …
GIRL You do that. And soon, ’kay?
He smiles and tries to settle back into the couch. She rearranges herself and they look at each other.
MAN Promise! I’ll look into it … (Laughs.) Anyway, I just like to spend a minute or two chatting when we can … we never get that much time to just, you know, talk or that type of thing. Really speak to each other … we always seem to get so caught up … in …
GIRL … you should buy another hour, then …
MAN Well, maybe you could gimme a break on the price! A deal of some sort …
GIRL I don’t think you get how this works.
MAN … I’m joking …
GIRL Oh, right. One of those kind that aren’t funny …
MAN Exactly! (Smiles.) Honestly, though … couldn’t we, I dunno, get lunch or something? Meet up at a park or maybe … I’m just talking about an afternoon here! That type of thing.
GIRL And what do you think my answer’s gonna be to that? Huh?
MAN Absolutely not. No chance in hell. (Beat.) Something like that?
GIRL You got it! (Looks around.) Hey, you wanna turn the air on … or a fan or something? (Beat.) Doesn’t matter to me but it feels kinda stuffy in here … so maybe …
MAN No, wait, listen to me, please. Why can’t we meet up some afternoon? (Beat.) Are you listening to me? Jennifer?
The GIRL stops suddenly and jumps to her feet, angry.
GIRL Don’t do that! Ok?!! Do not, or I am out the door and I’ll have that big dude out front—the guy you always wave to? Manny—I will have him come in here and put his foot up your ass!! You got that?!!! Up-your-ass … and he’s got a huge fucking foot!! I am not playing around with you anymore about this!! Not one more time!! YOU HEAR ME?!!
MAN … please … I was just …
GIRL DO YOU?!!!
MAN Yes. I understand.
GIRL Good … because that’s the last time you are gonna pull a fucking trick like that! You got that?! Huh?!!
MAN Sorry. I’m sorry … I just wanted to get your attention, but I wasn’t …
GIRL You can call me “Amber” or “little girl” or whatever the hell you’d like, but do not ever use that name again. Don’t use my name or, or, like, bring up where I’m from or any of that shit, because that’s none of your fucking business! Ok?!!
MAN Ok. I can see that.
GIRL You better. You had better “see” and get it right the next time or I’m out of this shithole! (Beat.) God!! You’re so … fuck, that pisses me off!!
MAN I didn’t mean to make you mad.
GIRL No?!
MAN Of course not.
GIRL Really?! How many times have you said my name before, huh? My real name?!
MAN … a … couple …
She shakes her head angrily and holds up some fingers.
GIRL How-many?
MAN I don’t know! (Beat.) Three, maybe? Three times …?
GIRL And how’d I feel about that? Each of those times, how did I react?
MAN You didn’t seem—you weren’t too crazy about it.
GIRL Exactly! I told you to never do it again and so you stop and I come back here and it’s all going fine until you try to lull me into some little comfort zone and then you try to slip it in again … like maybe this time she won’t notice! I mean, please! Just listen to what I’m saying here, ok?! Don’t-use-my-fucking-name again!!! Seems pretty simple …
MAN I won’t. I promise.
GIRL Yeah well, excuse me for being skeptical, but your promises seem to be written with invisible ink on Houdini’s ass!!
MAN I really will not do it again. Amber.
GIRL … great …
MAN I’m sorry. Honestly.
GIRL Fine. (Beat.) Shit, this whole thing has given me a headache. Some kind of ache, right here. (Points.) You got aspirin?
MAN I do, yes. Well, Tylenol … is that ok?
The MAN stands to go find a bottle in a nearby cabinet.
MAN Or Advil. I have both. Your choice …
GIRL What’ve you got, two choices for everything? It’s fucking aspirin!!
MAN Sorry, I just try to be … doesn’t matter. I’ll get you some.
He scurries over to another set of cabinets and searches around.
GIRL You wanna grab me four or so?
MAN Ummmmmm … that’s a lot.
GIRL Don’t act like my dad, alright? (Beat.) Just get the … pills …
MAN Fine. It’s your body …
GIRL That’s right. That is exactly right … it’s mine and I’ll do whatever the hell I want with it, including taking a therapeutic dose of painkillers when I need it!
MAN I’ll grab you four …
GIRL Thank you.
The MAN heads for the kitchen and keeps looking. He approaches that slick spot again and goes down to one knee—just catching himself. The GIRL laughs at this.
MAN Damnit!
GIRL Be careful … God, you are such a fucking doofus sometimes … seriously.
MAN It’s slick over here, that’s all!
GIRL Well, you did it last time … you can’t remember that for, like, twenty seconds? That it’s slippery there? Duh.
MAN I can, yes, of course I can … I just didn’t, so … I, I fell.
He bends over for a moment, brushing himself clean and picking lint off his trousers.
GIRL That’s dumb. Doesn’t make any sense …
MAN It’s … (Waves it off.) Nothing. Lemme just get the pills from the … I have a little first-aid thing here. (Searching around.) Where the hell is the … I have a woman who comes in and cleans and she …
The MAN reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a box that is stuffed with medical goodies—bandages, iodine, the works. He pulls out a bottle and counts out four pills.
He returns to the GIRL and drops the pills into her hand.
She gobbles them down, then chases it with a sip of her water. The MAN sits after this.
MAN Really? They’re working already?
GIRL I was being metaphorical. Jesus, what do you think?
MAN I … you never know. I mean, with the way medicine is these days.
GIRL Come on! Nothing works that fast …
MAN I know, but … I was just being a little bit courteous. Alright? Showing a touch of interest in you …
GIRL Oh.
MAN Sorry.
GIRL No, that’s cool … I guess.
MAN They’ll work in a minute or two.
GIRL I know, I’m not stupid …
MAN Alright, alright.
They both sit back and wait for a moment—staring off into space and contemplating. Silence. After a moment, the GIRL looks at the MAN and puts her legs in his lap.
GIRL And don’t think I’m stopping the clock for this, ok?
MAN … no, I didn’t figure you would …
GIRL … alright then. (Beat.) Just so we’re on the same page.
MAN We are.
GIRL Great.
They sit in silence. The GIRL looking around the room.
The MAN sits and watches her. She notices and finally says something:
GIRL … it’s weird when you stare at me like that. I’m not being mean, but …
MAN I’m sorry!
GIRL It’s alright. I’m just saying.
MAN I’ll stop.
GIRL It doesn’t make me mad or that sort of thing … it’s just weird. That’s all.
MAN I don’t mean to, it’s just … you’re …
GIRL I know.
MAN It’s hard not to. (Beat.) I can’t help but see you back when things were … you know. Before.
He steals another glance at her. She notices but doesn’t say anything this time around.
She checks her phone again. Texts while she says:
GIRL I get it and I’m not saying that you have to stop or anything … just …
MAN Thank you.
GIRL Welcome.
MAN … I’m …
GIRL … it’s unusual, that’s all. Not what I’m used to.
MAN I suppose that’s true …
GIRL Most guys, they’re so busy trying to get my panties down or their belts off, they don’t take a lot of time to look at my face. Not that much, anyway. I mean … after that first minute. Right when they open the door—check to make sure that none of their neighbors are watching or whatever—then they’ll glance at me, to make certain that I’m pretty enough or the kind of girl they imagined—young, that seems to be what most men want, someone young who still wants them—after that little second, though, they couldn’t care less who I am … all they wanna see is my ass or tits or, you know … to lay back and close their eyes. (Beat.) So it’s strange when you do that. Stare over at me. It is …
MAN I can’t help it. Not really.
GIRL I get it. (Beat.) So?
MAN You don’t have to say that …
GIRL Yeah, I do.
MAN No you don’t, you really don’t have to.
GIRL Time is ticking away here …
MAN I know, but … all I’m saying is, we don’t have to do anything, you know that, there is never a need for us to … I just wanna talk to you, that’s all. I want to speak with you and hear your voice, see if … I dunno, if you need anything or if I can be of some … whatever … service. Can I pass along a message … or maybe just …?
GIRL … what? “Maybe just” what?
MAN … you know.
GIRL Yeah, I do. I do know but I wanna hear you say it. (Beat.) Go for it.
MAN I’m … just asking …
GIRL I would like to hear you say it one more time, to see that you’ve got the balls to do that, to repeat it once more even when I’ve asked you, like, a million times not to. Over and over. So, go ahead …
MAN That’s alright. Forget it.
GIRL No, do it. Say it!
MAN I said last time that I wouldn’t, so …
GIRL But you want to! You wanna do it, so go on then. Say it. Seriously, show me that you’ve got at least that much inside … Go-on.
MAN Fine. (Beat.) Look … I want to get you, you know, out of here, out of this … life … that you’re … and get you back in school, or, or, or I’m not sure! God, just into some … other …
GIRL … yeah? What?
MAN I dunno!! Out, that’s all, start over or maybe go back home, something …
GIRL Huh.
MAN We’d pay for everything and it could be—I’m not gonna make up stories … it would be hard but we could do it—it’s a thing that I can see … working out … I’m just saying that I’d like to do that! For you.
GIRL You wanna save me, right?
MAN No! No, not “save,” but … just …
GIRL Say it. Say the words.
MAN … it’s not about “saving” you …
GIRL You-want-to-save-me, so say it then.
MAN Alright! I do, yes! If that means helping you then yes, I wanna help you … Amber.
GIRL Because why? Because you feel bad?
MAN I do … yeah. I feel bad.
GIRL For who? Me?
MAN Yes … for you, and not just you but for anybody who would find themselves in a … spot like this. This, this place.
GIRL I didn’t wake up here, you know. Like, up from some dream and I’m all bound and in a trunk headed to Saudi Arabia … I do it ’cause I want to. I like it. (Beat.) I do.
MAN No, come on … that’s … (Beat.) You can’t.
GIRL What the fuck do you mean?
MAN I’m saying you can do it … but like it? Want to do it? How’s that even possible?
GIRL Wow … you got in, like, three questions in a row that time. That’s a record …
MAN Come on, please! This is … very …!
GIRL No, you come on!! Who the fuck are you to talk to me like that? Anything like that?
MAN … you know who I am …
GIRL No, I don’t. I really don’t.
MAN I’m your … come on, I don’t wanna do this. Play this game.
GIRL Say it! Say it! SAY IT!!
MAN Ok, fine! I’m me. Gary, your uncle … that’s who I am. I am your Uncle Gary and I want to help you, Jenny …
GIRL Fuck it, I’m outta here! You blew it!!
MAN No, listen to me! Listen! Stop!!
GIRL NO!! (On her feet now.) I TOLD YOU!!
MAN Wait … STOP!! Jennifer!!
GIRL DON’T CALL ME THAT!! I’M NOT “JENNIFER!” SHE’S DEAD, JENNIFER IS DEAD AND I DON’T WANNA HEAR THAT FUCKING NAME EVER AGAIN!
MAN Alright, fine … I didn’t mean to …
GIRL My family killed her—do you get that?!! She’s not here! She’s gone! (Beat.) FUCK! SHIT!! I’m so fucking sick of your … why do you do this?! Huh?! Book me for these creepy … do you know what my dad would do if he knew the truth about all of this? Do you?!
MAN … yes.
GIRL … what he’d do if he found out that you know what I am and how I’m doing it and that you call me, that you actually ring up and book me to come over to your … do an outcall with you at least, what? Once a week? I mean, at least that often … do you have any idea?!! Huh?!!
MAN … but that’s because … that is because I’m …
GIRL He would cut your balls off!! Right off your fucking body!! YOU KNOW THAT!! YOU KNOW HE WOULD!!
MAN I do it so I can keep an eye on you … this is for you!!
GIRL I’ll bet.
MAN … what’re you saying?
GIRL I’m saying exactly what I mean.
MAN What?
GIRL You know … come on … “Uncle” Gary.
MAN I do this … “Amber” … so that at least somebody in the family knows you’re alive! From the very first you knew that. You’ve allowed me to say that I’ve seen you, that you’re ok and not off in some ditch or, or at a … meth house, or …
She laughs at this one. He doesn’t know much, this guy.
GIRL You mean crack house! Jesus, you’re such a classic. There’s no such thing as that, a “meth house.” You mean “meth lab?”
MAN Yes! Yes there is! I’ve watched it on the television, a place where they make, you know … meth. (Beat.) Is that a “meth lab?”
GIRL Yeah! And why would I be there? Huh? I’m not a chemist.
MAN Right, but you could be … you know!! One of those naked girls they use to stir up the … all the … I’ve seen it in movies!!
She laughs again.
GIRL Yep. That could’ve been me …
MAN You know what I’m saying! Shit! (Looking over at her.) Sorry, I don’t swear often, as you know, but this whole … thing … is just … it flusters me!! I’m … I’m …
GIRL I know. (Beat.) I get that.
MAN I haven’t told the truth to anyone—and I thought that you appreciated that, that I was winning your trust with it—because I understand the situation. Both sides. You have legitimate … things … that you have reacted to and … but he’s my brother … your dad is, he’s my brother and I’m here watching over you as best I can—yes, it might be unorthodox, what I’ve done, yes—but I’m trying. I am trying here. Not to scare you off and have you disappear. Not to let them lose hope. I don’t know what to do! Most days it tears me up inside, I can feel my guts twisting around because of a secret that I have and I don’t want it … I don’t want to carry this around, all of this stuff I know about you, but I do! I pay you money … money that I do not necessarily have and, and I’ll sit here afterwards and I’ll just … cry, like when you say you’re off to another one of your meetings, I’ll just start weeping because I can’t stop it … I can’t tell anyone, so I just … yeah. I cry. (Beat.) Because I care about you “Amber,” I really do. You’ve made it clear what you’ll do if I tell your dad anything real about you and so I’d rather lie … I’d rather be doing this … than having no idea if you are alive or dead. (Beat.) So I guess we’ll just keep on following the … I would buy every day, every hour with you if I had the money, if I could afford that, to keep you off the streets! But I can’t, and it makes me sick that I can’t but that’s just the way it is right now. “Amber.” (Beat.) … do I have to keep using that stupid name? It’s so silly … I mean, even when we’re … just … here?
GIRL … yes. (Tears in her eyes.) You do. Yes.
MAN Fine. “Amber.” (Beat.) I guess you should go now, or … whatever. I’m sorry to make this so … you know. Dramatic.
A frozen moment for both of them. They’re unsure how to go on now.
GIRL … ok. (Checking her phone.) We still have twenty minutes.
MAN I know, but … I’m …
GIRL I mean, “better here than there” … right? Isn’t that what you always say?
MAN Usually. Something stupid like that.
GIRL Ha! It’s only kinda stupid. (Beat.) You’re not so bad, I guess … for an “uncle.”
MAN Thanks. Thank you.
GIRL Welcome.
They sit back together on the couch. Closer now than they were before. After a moment, she yawns. Twice, even.
MAN Tired?
GIRL Kinda. Late night.
MAN I’m not asking …
GIRL Probably for the best. (Smiling.) See? You’re learning.
MAN Yep.
GIRL I’m just gonna rest a minute, ok?
MAN Sure.
GIRL I got a busy day, so …
MAN Then you should. Go ahead. Rest.
GIRL Thanks.
Without asking, she lays her head in the MAN’s lap.
GIRL I like this music …
MAN … some girl told me about it …
GIRL Ha! You’re funny.
MAN Not very.
GIRL Sometimes … (Beat.) You sure you don’t want me to blow you or anything?
MAN Please don’t say that stuff.
GIRL Most guys would, just so you know … even if I was their niece and they ended up in this same situation? I’m telling you the truth: lots of guys would let me do it. (Smiles.) And I’ve been told that I give lovely head. Seriously. That exact word. “Lovely.”
MAN Shhhh. Just listen to the … (Checking his watch.) I’ll wake you when it’s time.
GIRL Don’t forget.
MAN I won’t.
GIRL Promise?
MAN Yes. I promise.
GIRL ’Kay.
MAN Goodnight.
GIRL ’Night.
MAN … love you.
GIRL … mmmmmmm …
He sits quietly, careful not to rouse her. One hand moves to touch her but he stops just short. Refraining.
She closes her eyes, starts to drift. She slips her thumb into her mouth.
Without opening her eyes, she says:
GIRL This is ok, right? What I’m doing? Isn’t it?
MAN Uh-huh. (Beat.) Yes, Amber. Everything’s just fine …
Together they sit and listen to the music. MAN and GIRL. Connected now, if only for the moment.
Silence. Darkness.