Chapter 21

 

Hallie spotted Ethan’s horse tied in front of the livery, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe that was for the best. She could finish her shopping and be on her way back home.

It was a good plan, until she exited the post office. She ran almost smack into him, stopping just inches from him as she stepped out the door. “I. . .I’m sorry. Excuse me,” she forced herself to look up into his sea blue eyes. Eyes she thought she would never be able to meet again after the angry outburst last evening.

He nodded and barely tipped his hat. “My fault.” He stepped to the side to let her pass.

Hallie gave him a brief smile and stepped around him.

“Hallie?”

She took a breath and turned. “Yes?”

His expression was calm, as if their conversation last evening had never happened. “I. . .uh, I have to go to San Antonio for a few days. Fella was supposed to have stopped by and picked up my cattle on his way to Kansas earlier this spring. I need to see why he’s running late. When I get back, I’d like you to help me write that letter. . .if you’re willing, I mean.”

So the moment she’d dreaded for these past two months had finally arrived. All of her hope that he might change his mind was gone in a flash. Nothing to do but smile. “Of course. I’ll be glad to help you. Have a safe trip.” She turned and was on her way before he could speak to her. Before he could see the liquid that pooled in her eyes. How could she be so stupid as to fall in love with a man that didn’t want her? She knew old maids had a reputation for being silly and falling in love with the wrong men. But usually they were, well, inappropriate men. Drunkards and gamblers. Ethan was a fine man. A man that would make a good husband to any woman. Any woman but Hallie Bolton.

She hurried across the street and untied Satin from the hitching post. Her mail deposited on the seat, she pulled herself up. “Let’s go, girl,” she slapped the reins across the horse and refused to look back to see if Ethan was watching her. It was all nonsense in her head that hoped he even thought of her when she wasn’t teaching him how to read and write.

She had let her feelings about him settle in her mind and heart, ignoring all the warning bells that sounded whenever she talked with him. He was a man that wanted a wife as a business partner. Not a love partner. She would never be someone he would choose. And even if he wanted her on his own terms, she could never accept. She would not marry any man, not even Ethan Kane, for anything short of love.

 

 

***

 

 

Ethan stared after her until the wagon disappeared in a dusty cloud. He should have said more. Should have apologized for his harsh words the evening before. He had seen the hurt in her face, the pain in her eyes. Even now, his cheeks burned with the shame of giving her such anguish. She had no way of knowing his past, no way of understanding how he had separated himself from even the idea of love, from being close to anyone he might be able to care about. There were some things that hurt too much to try again.

He swallowed and watched the puff of dust dissipate in the air. No doubt, being around Hallie had unburied a few feelings that he had thought were gone for good. She was a neighbor, an old maid, some folks said. He shook his head. She was so much more than that. So much more than he could ever deserve.

A slow breath escaped his lips. He would stick to the one promise that he’d made to himself. No need to stir up old feelings that would never be returned. Hallie was too refined to want a man like him. A man that might embarrass her with his halting words when he read aloud, his awkward conversations in public. He cringed to think of her watching him count out change at Stoner’s Mercantile.

No, Hallie was better off without him. And her silly notion of sending off for a groom still caused a smile to cross his lips. It was one thing for a man, but a woman sending off for a spouse to come to their home seemed foolish, and possibly dangerous. What was the world coming to?

The beat of hooves and heavy sound of a wagon caught his ear, and he turned to see the stagecoach pulling into town, billows of dust following it until it came to a stop. The driver jumped down and opened the door. A tall, dark-headed man, dressed in a pin-striped suit stepped out. He straightened the bowler hat he wore on his head and stared up and down the street, his glance stopping on Ethan for only a moment.

Odd. They didn’t get many strangers in town. For a moment, he imagined it was Hallie’s groom, coming to claim her. His heart beat a funny jig and he touched his chest with his hand. Shaking his head, he snorted at his foolish thought. Hallie would be Hallie, living there on her ranch for the rest of her life. No knights in shining armor ever rode into Chance. And it would take a man like that to win her heart.

He gave a brief nod toward the stranger and turned away. No more time for groundless worries about his neighbor. It was time to get on with his own business.

Inside the post office, the air was grey and thick with the odor of bacon and onions floating in the haze. No doubt Doug did his own cooking in the back room. Maybe he should send off for a bride. Not that Ethan was going to recommend it until he’d seen how it worked out for himself.

Mrs. Broker, a widowed woman that lived in one of the two boarding houses in town, was in front of him, chatting with the postmaster, as if the man had nothing else to do. Ethan could see that Doug’s brown eyes had a faraway look to them, yet they were riveted on the customer‘s face at the same time. She didn’t seem to notice, or possibly she was too wrapped up in her narrative to perceive the man’s disinterest.

“And then. . . .there it was. Right where I was sure I left it. Can you imagine? I’d looked in that same exact spot at least five times. It surprised me all to pieces to imagine how it managed to be there without me seeing it. Has that ever happened to you?”

Ethan watched Doug’s face. It was fairly obvious that his thoughts had been elsewhere during all of the woman’s words. Ethan grinned as the postmaster nodded and opened his mouth to speak.

Mrs. Broker interrupted. “Well what am I saying? Of course it has. Happens to everyone, I suppose. The good Lord should’ve given us better eyesight is all I can say,” The woman continued as she began to count coins from her reticule. “Did you say twenty-five cents?”

“Yes. That’s right,” Doug said, now alert and ready to take his money.

“Good morning, Ethan,” he said, moving his eyes from the customer and smiling.

Ethan nodded. “Morning to you.” He moved back and allowed Mrs. Broker around him, smiling, but not speaking. It was common knowledge around town that once you spoke to the Edith Broker, she would jump right into a conversation. One you might or might not be able to follow. And for a period of time, you would be obligated to stay until she finally ran out of wind, which could take a good long while.

Ethan stepped to the window and pulled some coins from his pocket. I’d like to buy a couple of envelopes and three of the three-cent stamps.” He pushed the coins across the counter. Three letters ought to be enough to send off for a woman. If she needed to write more than that, he’d find a different one. No need spending much time in limbo. She’d either want to get married or not.

“Here you go,” Doug pushed the envelopes and stamps through the small opening. “And if you’ll wait a minute, I’ll get your mail.”

Mail? The postmaster must be mistaken. He hadn’t had any mail since he’d moved to Chance several years ago. With no family or friends back in Tennessee, who would want to contact him? And how would they even know where he was?

“Here it is,” the man said, pushing a small packet through to him.

Ethan picked it up and stared at the front of the envelope. That was his name all right. The return address looked to be in Tennessee. A sour taste swam through his mouth. He’d told folks he had no family. But that wasn’t quite true. There was one that might still be alive. And it would be best for him to stay as far away from Ethan as possible.

Outside, he stuffed the envelope into his saddle bag. He would deal with it when he came back from San Antonio.