Chapter Eight

LILLIA’S CHEST, UNCOVERED and bathed in morning sun, rose and fell gently. One arm was thrown above her head and her face was peaceful in sleep. Briar debated making her breakfast, bringing it to bed, but she’d never seen her have anything but coffee in the morning.

While Briar pulled an oversized hoodie over her head, Lillia stirred, opening her eyes just enough to look at her.

“Come back.” She patted the bed and Briar obliged.

“I need to tell you something,” Briar said, winding a strand of brown hair around her finger. She should have told her sooner. “I accidentally summoned Nilaja again last night. I cut myself and I must have done the spell on accident because they showed up.”

“You’ve got to control it,” Lillia said, turning over onto her stomach, her breasts pressed against the mattress, distracting Briar.

The skin of her back was smooth and cool as Briar traced the curve of her spine. She pressed her lips to Lillia’s shoulder blade. “I know. You’ll have to work with me, make sure I’m not doing any accidental spells.” She moved to her earlobe, biting the skin.

“I have to work.” Lillia started to turn over but Briar stopped her with a hand on her hip.

“Just a minute.” Briar continued her kisses, trailing them down Lillia’s spine.

Lillia twisted and stood. She reached for her clothes scattered across the floor. “I’m going to be late.” She bent low, mouth puckered for a quick kiss.

Briar pushed herself onto her elbows. “Are you angry?”

Silence stretched between them while Lillia straightened, then scoffed. “Well, I don’t love it. You keep summoning them and I’m not an idiot.”

Briar stood up from the bed, the scene too familiar, down to the morning sun and Lillia’s eyebrows reaching for her hairline. “What could you possibly think is happening? They’re a God.”

Chest heaving with deep breaths, Lillia pressed her palms to her eyes. “You’re right. I guess I should trust you more…it’s hard.”

“That’s not my fault.” Briar’s pulse pounded in her ears. This was exactly what she feared—that even if she tried, she couldn’t do this. She didn’t know how to be better, how to be a girlfriend—steady, someone to rely on. She thought she was, but Lillia was still mad. They were supposed to be falling in love, but there was the truth, spilled between them. Lillia didn’t trust her. “I wouldn’t betray you.”

“You ran away with Soren.”

“I thought we were going to die!”

“So you fucked him?”

“I didn’t.” But she would have. Briar hadn’t been the one to stop that. “We weren’t… After Ourst I didn’t know where you and I stood. But I would have picked you. I would always pick you. This…this isn’t about Nilaja. It’s about me.”

“Yeah, Ry. It’s about you. And it’s about me too. And it’s not fair. But everything you do, it’s calculated. I don’t think you even mean for it to be, it’s just who you are, how you were raised. I know that you care about me, you were ready to fight Ortus and you said you loved me but…”

“But what?” She’d done everything. She had been willing to fight. She’d tried—harder than she ever had before. She’d told Lillia she loved her. She’d done all the things girlfriends were supposed to do. She’d called and checked in. She made time. Even with everything else, she was trying.

“But what about when someone else catches your eye?” Lillia studied the floor, not making eye contact. “I’m crazy about you, so much that I’ve nearly lost myself in it. But how can I compete with Gods? With Evaria? You’ve got this gigantic life and I’m just here because I fell into it, because I had a book.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t know what I want. I just…I want to feel good about something again. I’m terrified all the time and it’s not just Eliana, though it should be. Nothing should scare me more than that, but I’m absolutely terrified of what I’m going to do when you get bored.” Lillia turned and grabbed her things from around the room.

“So you’d rather be the one to leave?” Was she breaking up with her? Briar was dizzy. She couldn’t figure out where she’d gone wrong, what she had said to set this off or what she could have done to stop it in its tracks. “You kept the distance, Lillia.” She moved between her and the living room, blocking the door. “You didn’t ever give me a chance. I told you I loved you.”

“But did you mean it?”

Again, silence stretched and tears welled in Briar’s eyes. She blinked them away, willing the words to come to her lips. To say them. Just say them again.

“Let me leave.”

Briar stepped into the living room. She pressed her back into the wall and watched Lillia make her way toward the door. The elevator would be beyond. Then the atrium. The entrance to her building. The entire world. “Lillia, if you’d give me a real chance…”

She turned, clutching her purse to her chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan to pick a fight. I just think…” She let her arms fall and took a step away from the door. “Think about it, make sure, absolutely sure, that I’m what you want and then you call me and tell me and I’ll give you a real chance. Until then…whatever you need. We’re still in this together.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away.

“But we aren’t together?”

Lillia shrugged, one hand on the doorknob. “I wish I had a better answer.” She pulled the door shut behind her.

Briar stared at the spot where Lillia had stood until she could feel her body again, replaying the last five minutes in her head over and over. Would she always be a disappointment? Why couldn’t she get it right? She’d tried, she’d really tried but Lillia had seen right through her, seen how rotten she was. She’d done everything she could to hide it, to pretend she was good and pure—someone to love. But how could she open up when everything inside was too broken? There was no one who would fix it and she was terrified to try.

They needed a sacrifice and what would there be to miss?

Her phone vibrated, frightening her so badly she jumped. The words on her screen made no sense. She read them again and again.

My mom’s going to shit herself. Say hello to the future Mrs. Savros, at least we’ll say so long enough to keep her out of Ourst. Don’t tell Grandpa this time.

She didn’t plan to call anyone, but then the phone rang. A cheery secretary’s voice was followed by one huskier. “Well…this is unexpected.”

“She dumped me, Evie. You were right. She saw me the whole time.”

“I’m about to go home. You know Henrik Stuttle emailed me yesterday. And according to my secretary, Ansel Savros has been trying to get in contact with me.” Evaria’s keys rattled as if proving the point.

“You should take his call. He knows too—everything.” She didn’t want to talk about Ansel, she wanted…she just wanted.

“Of course. Do you want to come over?”

Briar knew how it would go; how easy it would be to slip into her old ways. “I can’t. Fauna just sent me the weirdest text.”

“I’ll keep my phone on in case you change your mind. Good luck, Briar.” The phone went dead.

*

BRIAR LOVED SCHEMES. She would proudly walk down the street with a crown and a sash proclaiming her the Queen of Schemes, but this was ridiculous. She didn’t know who she wanted to shake more, Soren or Fauna. Except Fauna did this all the time and Soren should know better.

“This is stupid,” she said, dropping Fauna’s hand. Her diamond was the size of Briar’s pinkie nail and she knew Soren would never recoup the cost. The white walls of Fauna’s apartment loomed around her. “First, another fake engagement, Fauna. Really? Also, how is that going to stop your mother from going to Ourst?” They were quite a pair. A pair of idiots.

“She’ll be so busy planning my wedding. She won’t have time to go.”

“It’s a three-hour flight!” Briar wanted to claw at her hair but instead she shoved her hands under her legs. “How many wedding-related emergencies can there be? Soren, come on. This is such a bad plan.”

“The way Fauna described it…it sounded good.” The tips of his ears started to turn red, and Briar magicked a pillow across the room at him with a flick of her wrist. He caught it and frowned. “It’s something, Briar. We can’t let Eliana hurt someone else.”

“Then we tell her the truth.”

“She’s not your mom!” Fauna’s hands tightened around the glass she was holding until her knuckles were white. The faint glow of uncontrolled power emanating from her turned the glass rose gold. “You can think my plan is stupid. I don’t care. I’ll tell her I’m sick and it’s a rushed wedding. I’ll tell her whatever I need to. I can’t let Eliana have my mom, I can’t.”

“Okay.” Briar ground her teeth but did her best to stay calm. She had enough problems already and she knew if it was her dad she’d be panicking as well. But this plan was useless. She didn’t see how Vestia, who ran an entire corporation, couldn’t manage to plan a wedding and advise Jenia Alvier at the same time, but maybe it would buy them a few days. There would be parties and fittings and whatever else. Still…one thing. “Why Soren?”

“Thanks.” He threw the pillow back.

Fauna’s eyes darted toward him. “Fuck, he’s fae.”

“Really?” he scoffed.

“She’s going to be so furious. I didn’t even think about it.”

Briar couldn’t stop the laughter that exploded from her. “You think your mom is going to be mad? Wait till Grandpa thinks the heir to his fortune is going to have pointed ears. Maybe this will work. They’re going to be livid.”

“Wow, I didn’t know I was marrying into so much bigotry.” Soren leaned back on the couch, locking his fingers behind his head. “The hardships our children will endure.”

“You are two idiotic peas in a pod.” Briar leaned across the table to grab a handful of chips from a bowl that had the word snacks scrawled across the side.

“You should invite Lillia over.” Fauna perched on the arm of the couch Soren occupied. They really would make an attractive couple.

“I…can’t.” Briar stared at the crown molding.

Soren moved in a flash of denim and dark hair. “I’ll go get dinner.” His wallet was in his hand before Briar could protest. He kissed Fauna’s head and left with a stupid grin on his face.

“Have you fucked him?” Briar asked as soon as the door closed.

“No. We’ve kissed twice. Once in Ourst and once the other day. Neither sexual.”

“Oh, neither sexual?” Briar rolled her eyes. “Well, you do know what ladies do on their wedding night, don’t you?” She made an obscene gesture to drive the point home.

“I’m not marrying him.” Fauna put her hand on her hip and for a moment Briar thought she was going to yell but then she started to cry. Her shoulders shook and she sank down to the floor. “It’s so stupid. I know it’s so stupid but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what to do, Briar. Tell me what to do.”

Hatefulness drained away from Briar, all her unfair jealous feelings dissipating at the sight of her cousin’s tears. Of course, she had come up with this stupid plan, it was what she’d been doing to get her mother’s attention for nearly a decade now. Of course, Soren had gone along with it. Soren was all bravado, swagger, and tight jeans, but inside he was soft. If she had to guess, most of the trouble he’d gotten into had been caused by his lack of ability to say no. And a crying Fauna? She’d led better men to worse fates. It might be amusing to watch them try to pull this off.

Except Lillia was gone. There would be no one to laugh with. She’d come back for the rest of them, but for Briar? Why would she? What had Briar ever had to offer except money? It wasn’t even her money. A collection of old books? She’d spent her whole life collecting them, but Lillia had possessed what they needed.

Tears, hot and wet, startled Briar when they hit her cheeks and she slunk down onto the floor and wrapped Fauna in her arms. “She won’t get your mom. I swear it.”

“We don’t even know how she works now, Ry. Look at all the violence. I can’t even turn on the news because it’s one attack after another. They’re innocent people and they’re going to spend their lives in jail if they even survive. And for what? What does she want? Why is she doing this?”

“She’s evil,” Briar said, raising her voice and hoping the Gods were listening. Evil. Eliana was evil and she was their child. They were supposed to watch over the humans, answer their prayers. Instead, they had destroyed them.

She’d spent her whole life looking for answers, hoarding books like precious jewels and it was all for nothing. Worse than nothing. It had destroyed her life and the lives of so many others. She thought her love of history was the best thing about her but it had led her right into the hands of the vilest creature.

Was there good left in her? Did fighting evil make you the hero if you only did it to save your own skin? She’d give up if she could. If someone showed up and said they’d do it, she would happily turn away. What did that make her? A coward or worse?

She wanted to undo it, all the messy feelings, all the terrible things. To go back in time when the worst thing she’d ever done was sleep with Evaria. But even then, it had been too late. She hadn’t known it, but Eliana had already been whispering to Ansel, directing the movements of an already bad Prime Minister.

Thirteen women dead. And all the others. The fae murders that streamed across the TV on every news channel. Eliana had given them too much power when she gifted her own magic to Velorian, enough that for a while the fae had taken control with a too-firm grip. Briar had believed it was getting better, more witches in power, a more equal dynamic. She’d never hated the fae.

But Eliana had. The unforgiven sin of not loving her enough. Of course, the Goddess had brought Soren into her web. He must have seemed so familiar, handsome, well-loved, political. Everything she’d thought she’d had in Velorian until he’d left her for Cordelia. For the promise of a happy life.

Briar didn’t know Velorian’s side, but she knew Eliana. And now she knew the Gods. How they could draw someone in, how hard the call of their magic was to resist. But when the power and lust cleared, what had Velorian been left with? A hateful woman without a home? Someone willing to curse endless generations for the supposed sin of one man? It was no wonder he had not wanted her on the throne. By all accounts he had been a good king in his short reign.

All those facts Briar already knew, but they struck her like blows again and again on the floor of Fauna’s apartment. Cordelia’s descendant. Her ancestor’s sacrifice had not been enough; Eliana had come back to terrorize another generation of her children. Had she known whose blood flowed in Briar’s veins? Or had it been her lust for history that drew the Goddess to her?

Or was it another lust? Soren’s ardor for Briar. He must have been an easy target, someone else powerful to bring under her thrall. It would have been simple enough to get Briar to search for a book. Once she found Bastianna and learned who had the book it had gotten even simpler. And Briar had lusted for Lillia, more easy emotions to exploit. Manipulation after manipulation until none of them knew their true feelings, until they could barely interact with each other without everything being twisted and harsh.

“What do I do, Ry?” Fauna wiped at her eyes, smearing her mascara across her cheekbone.

“What if we tell Grandpa first? Or I can? Either way he’ll throw a fit and he won’t want your mom to go anywhere until she’s handled you.”

“But then she’ll have to think we’re really in love or she’ll just tell me to cut my shit out.” Fauna fidgeted with a strand on her rug. “This is so stupid. She’ll know it’s fake. She never believes me and why should she? I’m so useless. I don’t even know how to get my mother to care about me.”

Briar stroked Fauna’s hair, pulling her close to her chest. She knew her cousin could hear the pounding of her heart. Tears stung her eyes, blurring her vision. Maybe she deserved it, deserved to be put through hell for all the horrible things she’d done, but Fauna? Fauna was good. The worst she’d ever done was lead on men and though she’d never admit it, Briar knew she’d wanted all those engagements to work, that she’d sat around hoping for a spark that didn’t come. Fauna’s greatest sin was wishing to be loved, unable to see that she already was. “Fauna Constance, I think you can convince your mom you’ve fallen in love with a fae politician. It’s like something out of a fairy tale. The witch and the fae. It’s been written a hundred times.”