Chapter Twenty-Five

SOREN

 

He was going to sacrifice his father. His father. Ansel Savros. The man who had…well, not exactly raised him but hired a slew of nannies. He should call his mom.

He laughed out loud at the idea, startling a woman walking by. His mother wasn’t as cruel as Briar’s; she just wasn’t a mom. She’d answer if he called, he was sure of that. She always did, but she also never seemed to miss him, or think of him when she wasn’t there.

Gods, why was he worrying about his mom when he was going to kill his own father? It was obscene and he should be spending the day with him. But he couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t repair their relationship any further.

So instead he stood, once again, like a Godsdamn stalker, outside Fauna’s building. He had to see her. Tonight was the night. For all he knew Briar was already at Evaria’s and he was still here, in the city.

The door to her building opened and she appeared. She looked better than she had. Her eyes weren’t bloodshot, and she’d put on heels and a skirt that brushed her knees and swayed with every step. It only took a couple of those steps before she noticed him.

But she didn’t stop. She didn’t retreat. She pushed her shoulders back and walked until she was only inches from him. “What are you doing here? And keep it short.”

“Just out for a walk.” He grinned.

She shook her head but there was humor in her eyes. He could have kissed her right then but he feared the slap he would rightly receive. “I needed to see you before…”

The humor was instantly replaced with concern. “Before what?”

He glanced up, trying to find the words. It was such a beautiful day. Big puffy clouds like cotton balls dotted the blue sky. It didn’t seem like the kind of day something like this should happen. And there was no sugarcoating what he had to say. “Before Briar does the spell.”

Her mouth fell open, almost comically. “You’re going to die?” She held up her hand to her mouth, ring free.

“Not sure yet. But my father volunteered. Briar thinks it might work. So…” He massaged the back of his neck. “I just wanted to see you one more time.”

She nodded quickly and took his hand. She wrapped her delicate fingers lightly around his own, barely gripping. “Briar didn’t even call me. She might die and she didn’t even call.”

“Would you have answered? We fucked up. We know we did and we wanted to respect you but we had to keep fighting.”

Dropping his hand, Fauna started to sink down toward the ground and he grabbed her under the arms. “Come on.” He walked her back toward her building.

The doorman moved toward them, eyes darting between Soren and Fauna and the front desk. “Ms. Constance?”

“Oh, it’s fine. He’s fine.”

“Ms. Constance.” His voice was more insistent and he stepped into their path.

“Freddy, it’s truly fine. He’s…I was mad at him. My mom died. But I’m fine. Thank you.” A pained smile stretched across her face.

He moved aside, leaving the vast ocean of the atrium for them to cross. She was silent, her heels clicked against the floor, and her eyes stayed forward. She didn’t speak on the ride up in her elevator. It seemed to take forever but time had been moving strangely all day. Soren was aware of every second that ticked by, bringing him closer to what he was sure would be the end.

And he had involved his father. He was a coward.

No. He couldn’t change his mind now.

There were etchings on her doorframe and she rubbed her fingers across them. When Soren was inside, she locked the door behind them and dashed across her apartment until she was to the window. She rushed to open it and took in gulps of air, grasping the windowsill with white-knuckled hands. The curtains danced in the breeze that blew back strands of hair from her face.

Soren stood in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. He wanted to say something, to console her, but he couldn’t even find the words to console himself. He was scared. Scared of Eliana. Scared to live without his father. Scared this was the last day for all of them.

The ring was on a side table, beside an empty can of sparkling water, her lipstick on the aluminum. He expected her to be crying when she finally turned but she wasn’t. Her features were set, her blue eyes were shards of steel. “I’m going to come with you.”

“Absolutely not.” She opened her mouth to protest but he crossed the room quickly and cut her off with a kiss. “I won’t be able to think if you’re there. I can’t do what I need to do if you’re in danger. I need to know you’re here. Safe.”

She rested her head on his chest and it took his breath away. Whatever happened that night he would be thankful for this moment. That he got to have it. Her hand flattened on his abdomen and she looked up. “You’re freezing.”

“It’s a thing.” He’d never had good control of his magic. His father’s rarely showed, sparks of lightning when he was angry, a gust of wind when he laughed, but never more. Soren had only inherited part of his weather controlling magic and none of his rigid mastery. He’d thought it had been some kind of sick joke as a child, that he’d gotten only frost from his father.

“Soren, I’m so mad at you and I’m so scared.”

“I know.” He stroked her hair, savoring the warmth of her body against his.

“Don’t lose your dad, Soren. It hurts so much.”

“What else can I do?”

Her body shuddered. “You’re braver than me. You’re both so much braver than me.” She grabbed a handful of his shirt and a sob convulsed her body. “Oh Gods, she didn’t even call me. What have I done?”

“Shhh.” He moved his strokes to her back and kissed the top of her hair. It smelled of wildflowers.

She looked up at him, her eyelashes glistening. “Kiss me again.”

So he did. He lifted her off her feet and she wrapped her legs around his waist, grasping his hair in her hands. She tasted like honey, summer days, the way it felt to lie in the sun and let it burn away your worries.

He found himself on the couch, tangled up in every inch of her. Their kisses were rough and desperate and they clung to one another. Her tears wet his cheeks but she continued to kiss him until she pulled away breathless.

She reached up and cupped his face, her other hand still draped around his neck. “Remember in Ourst, when you took me to that ridiculous club?”

“Well, we couldn’t go back to that hotel room. Not with the two of them there.”

“I keep thinking about it. I didn’t realize then. I knew you were cute and you made me laugh but I didn’t realize. We could have had more time.”

He wanted her to stop talking like he was going to die, like this was the last day they’d have together. But there was no hope in his heart either, only the desperate clawing of survival instinct. The urge to flee from death.

“Fauna, I need to leave.” Her grip on him tightened. “I have to do this.”

“Tell Briar I love her so much.”

Gently, he pried her arms from him and stood. “Of course I will. You…well, you… Goodbye, Fauna.” He turned as her quiet sobs echoed through his head and left. The door snapped shut behind him, separating them.

There had never really been anything but a whisper of possibilities. They all strung out before him as he walked. He’d been in love before, a handful of times, but they’d all ended, some fizzling until nothing remained, others with a bang.

Never before had he lost it before it even started. Everything had been backward. A stupid, foolish engagement that he was old enough to know better than to try. Kisses that had meant nothing. Everything he’d done with Briar when Fauna was right before him.

He got into his car and smashed the radio off. The thoughts in his head were loud enough.

He’d done this before, though he’d been able to walk there that time, and no fear had filled his body. But he’d gone all the same, he’d walked through the city, smiling at strangers, on his way to bring back Eliana.

He knew the feel of a knife in his hand, the way it would feel to pierce his father’s flesh because he’d done it already. He’d whispered a spell and his father had fallen to the floor. He’d dragged a knife down his arm. His only pause had been when Jenia Alvier had stood before him, trembling and bound.

Bastianna had taken the knife from him. She’d smiled while she killed her, believing in the Goddess so completely. And the fear had dissipated from Soren. He’d waited patiently and his heart had filled with joy when Briar had appeared at the precipice. He watched her shudder and watched Bastianna again bring peace.

Would she be there tonight? He’d never wanted to hurt someone before, not more than a few punches thrown in a bar, but he wanted to hurt her. He wanted to hurt her so badly it frightened him, made him question who he was.

But everything made him question himself now. Would it matter much longer? Even if he walked out, he would be a man who’d committed patricide. Something like that would leave an eternal mark.

And Briar? She was up against a God. He remembered how she’d looked when she’d freed him from Eliana’s thrall, how much it had taken out of her. And that was magic on him, just untangling the threads of Eliana’s spell. Killing her?

This was a suicide mission and yet he drove. Knuckles white, hands trembling, he drove. The freeway narrowed, down from four lanes to three, then just two. And he drove, mouth dry. He turned up the heat in the car. Despite the spring sun pouring down through his windows, he was freezing, cold enough that the glass fogged.

The lake wasn’t too far from the city but it seemed both an eternity and a heartbeat before he came to the bridge that ran across it, leading to the houses on the other side. He’d been here often as a boy. His parents had bought a house here in the last few desperate years of trying to make their marriage work. His father could work in Wesvik while they stayed home. He enjoyed the pebble laden shore, the way it felt between his toes. He would fish in the murky waters or dive from the pier.

There were always other children, wet hair slicked to their faces, to play with in the summer. Their mothers would bring sandwiches and they’d eat them, gritty with sand, under the sun.

The lake had been freedom once.

The water on either side of the bridge sparkled like diamonds as he drove across. He would destroy his memories today. Lace them with death and destruction. Never again would he think of his mother, brown skin shiny with oil, lying out with a book and kissing him when he ran over to show her the shells he had found.

One car was parked in the driveway when he pulled up.

The closing of his car door seemed to echo over the water.

It was too still. Too quiet.

A family played not far away but their voices didn’t make it to his ears. They were ringing. His brain screamed at him to turn around, drive back over the bridge and far away from Wesvik.

He forced one foot in front of the other, over and over until he reached the door. It pushed open at his touch.

Now voices came to him. First Briar, then Evaria.

He took a step inside and the voices died. Ice clinked in glasses and the two women appeared at the end of the hallway. They were both dressed simply, linen shorts and T-shirts. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Evaria in pants before. She looked small next to Briar but age had not diminished her beauty. Her eyes were bright and she nodded solemnly.

He opened and closed his mouth several times and the silence stretched between all of them, haunting the lake house.

Once again, Soren forced his feet to move. Frost coated the hallway with each step he took. Briar’s eyes landed on the trail and magic sparked at her fingertips.

He followed them into a sitting room. It was full of windows looking out onto a screened porch and the lake. Leafy plants that Soren had never learned to identify hung all over the room, vines trailing and curving around picture frames of generations of what must be Evaria’s family. The women looked just like her, dark hair and sharp features.

This must be her safe place too. He wondered whether she’d sell the house if they lived. He turned and found her standing only feet away. “Thank you.”

“I swore to protect the people of Wesvik.”

“Do we have a plan?”

Evaria nodded, a muscle in her jaw twitching. “We’ve been setting up for a few hours. Your father is due in at any minute and then Eliana comes in an hour. In Jenia’s body.” She clutched her throat. “I knew Jenia. I worked with her often. She didn’t deserve this.”

“No one did.”