Chapter 31

The interview room was the same as the one she’d spent much of the previous day in – it may even have been the same one – and Jay looked alone, sitting at the bare, graffiti’d table. He was staring into space, fiddling with the collar of the regulation overalls. Marilyn recognised the gesture, remembering the way he twisted his scarf in his fingers. He turned and his expression brightened as the duty officer showed her in. She smiled back. He looked weary. She hesitated inside the door, watching him stand, glancing at the policeman by her side and unsure of the protocol.

‘Is it OK for us to have some privacy?’

The officer nodded. ‘We’re just outside.’

Oblivious to the door shutting behind her, she found herself in Jay’s arms, revelling in the feel and familiar smell of him.

‘I’m so glad you’ve come,’ he murmured.

‘I’d have stayed with you if they’d let me.’

‘I know.’

‘You shouldn’t be here! It’s not fair. You’re worn out.’

‘There’s a man dead. And a lot more for me to be complicit in.’

‘They can deal with that later! You’re not going anywhere, can’t they see that?’

‘Obviously not. And do you blame them, honestly?’

She responded by kissing him, trying to forget their surroundings. He held her as if they’d never be parted again. They drew apart and sat close, holding one another’s hands tightly.

‘How’s Vinko?’ he asked. ‘They’ve told me he’s OK, but nothing more. “It’s you we’re here to talk about,” was all the reply I got. I’ve been going out of my mind. I’m desperate to see him.’

‘He’ll be fine. That wound’s more superficial than it looked; it was the loss of blood, on top of him being so exhausted, that was the danger.’

‘Apparently Vesna’s being a star.’

‘The proverbial protective tigress.’ Marilyn had warmed to Vesna, touched by the fondness she already felt for a nephew she’d only just met. ‘She’s got her solicitor looking after his case. And she’s hijacking both the hospital systems and the police investigation to establish definitively that he’s Ivan’s son. She’ll have him an identity before he’s in a fit state to know what to do with it. Apparently her home’s his, as soon as he’s able to go there and for as long as he wants it. She told me she’s not only pressing for leniency for his part, but she’ll have them on their knees apologising to him.’

‘What for?’ he asked with a smile.

‘She’ll find something.’ She turned serious. ‘She says she’s got to stop him apologising.’

‘He should know—’

‘You saw what he was like when we met – was it only yesterday morning? He really feels he betrayed you and that’s why Lek got to you, why all this happened. He even blames himself for his grandparents’ murder.’

Jay looked down at their intertwined hands.

‘Will you be seeing him? If I can’t go, tell him from me – I really mean this, Polly – he’s got to stop talking like that. No more guilt. Tell him not to let Lek win.’

His head was bowed, his face hidden.

‘Look at me, Jay.’

He raised his eyes slowly.

‘Try telling yourself the same thing.’

‘But I’ve been such an idiot! If I’d listened to you, if we’d gone to the police when you said… Are you in trouble?’

‘Nothing serious.’ Conspiracy to pervert the course of justice in Boris and Anja’s murder case. She’d been angry and frustrated with him, of course she had. She’d revealed details of his life, and regretted it. When she’d told them how he’d known Lek years ago and knew what the man was capable of, she’d meant to make it obvious he’d acted in self-defence. But apparently, knowing what the man was capable of gave Jay the perfect motive for wanting to kill him. She’d said little more, and looking at him now, his expression almost as haunted as when he’d told her about Paševina and all that led up to it, she was glad. ‘They haven’t charged you yet?’

He shook his head with a sigh. ‘I think they’ll accept that Lek’s death was self-defence on both my part and Vinko’s. We shouldn’t have been there, we were both carrying offensive weapons, but… I don’t need to tell you.’ He drew away from her and leaned on the table, his head in his hands. ‘It was only this morning they finally dropped the talk of…of Anja and Boris’s murder. Direct involvement, anyway. Mihal Novak came round overnight, apparently, and confessed. Of course it was he and Lek who broke in, intending to do no more than threaten them, so he claims. They must have got frustrated that Vinko wasn’t doing more, about getting information from his grandparents or finding me. It seems Boris had a gun under the bed and Mihal panicked. I don’t know whether Lek shot Anja to get rid of a witness or some warped revenge because she was Zora’s sister. Neither would surprise me. But at least Mihal had the decency to confirm that Vinko knew nothing about it at the time. And I certainly didn’t.’

Marilyn shuddered. ‘It took his confession? They didn’t believe you?’

‘Probably just wanted to make me sweat. I’m the sort of guy they’ll want to pin as much as possible on.’ He looked round at her. ‘I’m so sorry for putting you through all this, Polly.’

‘It’s not your fault.’

‘How can you say that? I’ve let you down and I’m sorry.’

She tried to take his hand. He pulled away, sat up straight.

‘Please. Don’t get any more attached than you already are. I don’t deserve you. And you certainly don’t deserve me. In the opposite sense.’

‘I don’t blame you for anything.’

He looked at her steadily. ‘Don’t you see how selfish I’ve been?’

‘I know what you’ve been through.’

‘There you are. Me.’

‘You were trying to protect Vinko. And there was Lucy and—’

‘And a chance literally to lay my ghosts to rest. Sod how it affects anyone else.’ He shook his head. ‘I find someone who matters to me – two people who matter to me – and it’s still all about myself. The boy from Paševina was there – he hasn’t been near me since with his horrors and his nightmares. Even during a sleepless night in this place. Perhaps I’ve done something right at last.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘But there we were with Vinko about to get his brains blown out and a little part of me could actually feel pleased to hear Lek claim I turned Ivan against him. See? Me, me, me.’

He stood up and turned away.

‘I can live with that if you can.’

He turned back to her. ‘Please, don’t make any daft promises. Give yourself time to think. I’m not worth it.’

‘You said it yourself, Jay. Don’t let him win.’

‘This isn’t a fairy story, Polly.’ He laughed. ‘I know, you’re thinking “You’re a fine one to talk about fairy stories, Jay Spinney.” It’s true, I am. And that’s why I don’t trust happy endings.’

‘It won’t work,’ she said.

‘What?’

‘Stop trying to make it easy for me.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Easy to walk away.’

‘You think that’s what I want?’

She shook her head. ‘No. But you’ve been saying it all along. “Just say the word and I’ll disappear and leave you in peace.” Well, I won’t make it that easy for you to run away again.’

He tried to smile, then shook his head. ‘How long have we known each other? I’ve messed up your life enough even in that brief time.’

‘You’d do just that if you rejected me now. Come back here.’

She motioned to the plastic chair. He stayed where he was.

‘Be realistic,’ he said.

‘I am. Listen. We’re trying to get you out of here. I’ve already given them my address as yours. Vesna would be prepared to put up bail money if it were needed.’

‘Thank you. It means a lot. But there’s no chance of bail.’

‘You don’t know that. I could be driving you home in a couple of days. Or sooner. They haven’t charged you yet. But whatever happens, I’ll be here.’

His expression made her feel as if her words were nothing but irrational childish optimism.

‘Sit down, Jay.’

He perched uneasily on the hard plastic chair, looking fearful and vulnerable. She touched his arm and his sudden smile filled her with relief.

‘You must be mad,’ he said as he took her hand. ‘But whatever you decide, haven’t you got work to be doing? Go on, prove I’m not messing up your life.’

‘In good time. I can hardly go back to Matt’s at the moment, can I?’

‘Then it’s up to me to get out of here and help you sort that building out, right?’

As they held each other, she wondered momentarily why she’d been so quick to dismiss his suggestion of walking away. There was no question. She was inextricably involved in his story now, and he’d claimed his part in hers.