Working from Home When You Have Kids
by Daisy Dowling
Quick Takes
You’re working remotely. Maybe it’s due to the structure of your new job or organization; maybe it’s part of that new corporate work/life initiative; or maybe it’s the result of months of lobbying the higher-ups. Or maybe, like so many parents, you’ve been thrust unexpectedly—unwillingly, even—into a work-from-home arrangement because of a broader crisis. Remote work is supposed to be all upside: no commute, no office distractions, no one looking disapprovingly at you when you duck out of the office for a pediatrician’s appointment. Just you, a comfortable home office, and the opportunity to spend more time with your kids.
Those benefits, however, come with an equivalent number of challenges. How do you stay on the senior leader radar screen when not physically around your colleagues? In a 24-7, always-on work culture, how do you avoid the perception—particularly among more senior or traditionally minded colleagues—that you’re slowing down or have chosen the “parent track”? How do you establish constructive workplace relationships with people you see infrequently? How do you avoid the distractions and interruptions that can compromise your performance?
Savvy working parents know that it takes more than a home office to make remote work work for their organizations, careers, and families: It takes conscious effort and some specific, effective tactics—which you can start using today.
When making a case, frame it in business terms. Regardless of the actual reason, successful remote-working parents always present the arrangement in a commercial, good-for-business frame (see chapter 17, “Winning Support for Flexible Work”). “Eliminating my commute frees up seven more hours per week I can spend reaching out to clients” or “My being in Chicago allows the company to cover the Midwest markets efficiently and at no additional cost” are more compelling, inarguable statements than “I wanted to spend more time at home.” Present yourself as aligned to revenues and your setup as a corporate asset, and you’ll find even the most skeptical colleagues become supportive.
Keep a firm routine. After years of office life, working remotely can feel wonderfully flexible: Get to your desk at 9:30 a.m. in your pajamas! Feed the baby while on the conference call! But that same lack of traditional workplace boundaries has the potential to erode your motivation and productivity (are you really at your best getting a late start, in sweatpants?). Use your remote work setup to create flexibility that’s meaningful to you, but keep a firm schedule and habits, too. Start work at the same time each day. Wear what makes you feel sharp and confident. Limit breaks to the same length and frequency as in the office. With a solid routine and the right “guardrails” in place, you’ll maximize the feeling of being professional and in control.
Demonstrate your commitment. What your colleagues can’t see, they can’t appreciate. When working remotely, take care to provide small, clear signals that your commitment and work ethic are unwavering. Key tips: Send emails first thing in the morning as a means of announcing that you’re already up and at it. Let colleagues know that you’ve read their emails and documents carefully: “Brad, Thanks for this—the data on page 6 will be helpful in our quarterly review process.” Take calls in the early morning or late at night as a favor to coworkers in other time zones. These small tactics will make you appear eager, committed, and hardworking—good attributes at any level.
Set up your physical work environment. Arrange it to help you be, and be seen as, professional, focused, and committed. Find a way to ensure privacy during critical phone calls. If you’re not certain of privacy during critical calls, alert the people you’re speaking with that there may be toddler interruptions. Create a professional backdrop for video calls so that no one has to see your kids’ ice hockey equipment in the background when you’re discussing the quarterly marketing report. Taking charge of these small logistics enhances your working environment and your professional image.
Do a technology audit. Smart use of technology can maximize your efficiency and your connection to colleagues. If you’re emailing and calling while everyone else at the office is on Slack, you’re missing a real opportunity. Partner with IT, or with a tech-savvy teammate in your department, to help you find and start using the best technological tools. Don’t know the best apps for staying in touch and “in the flow” with your company, industry, or function? Ask around to find out.
Allocate 10% of your time to relationship building. In a regular office environment, relationships occur organically—through conversations at the water cooler, in the hallway, at lunch. But when you’re working remotely, you will have to create those “connection opportunities” yourself. Call a colleague to check in on their weekend. Email a mentee to ask how her big presentation went. Ensuring that you have regular, informal touch points with everyone on the team—and throughout the organization—will pay big long-term dividends.
Be positively unpredictable. Even if your remote-work arrangement allows for five days a week at home, get into the office every few weeks. Show up for the annual marketing review even if there’s a dial-in. Be on hand the week the new recruits start so that you can help mentor and onboard them. You don’t have to be present all the time to be present visibly—and when it matters.
Sell your boss. In most organizations, remote work is seen as an employee benefit—and it’s always a good idea to share what benefits it’s bringing to your boss and the organization in return. So provide your manager with regular, positive reminders as to why your remote arrangement is working and appreciated. “Working from home has let me spend more time on client work. My sell-through rate is up 10% this year—and the fact that the company is providing this flexibility makes me want to be on this team for the long term.”
Explain it to your kids. Children may have difficulty under standing the world of work—what it consists of, what it requires, and what it means. But even very small children can hear that “Mommy works hard all week at the office because I like it, and because it lets me earn money to take care of our family. On Fridays, I still work, but from home so that I can take you to school and we can do fun things together.” In doing so, you transmit the values of hard work and responsibility—while showing your commitment and love.
Big picture: Working remotely is a distinct professional skill. As with any other professional skill—like public speaking or negotiations or financial analysis—it’s built over time and through experience, personal reflection, desire for continual improvement, and a lot of hard work. And for any working parent who wants to drive organizational performance, succeed on the job, and raise terrific kids, it’s a skill well worth developing.
Adapted from “How to Work from Home When You Have Kids,” on hbr.org, September 14, 2017 (product #H03W0V).