We hope that you approach the process of reclaiming your sexual desire as an adventure of body, mind, and spirit. We applaud you for wanting more for yourself sexually. You should applaud yourself for embarking on this journey of self-exploration and discovery.
Ultimately, reclaiming your sexual desire is about finding the balance that is necessary for your life energy—your essence—to flow freely. Sometimes a blockage stems from a physical problem, like a hormonal imbalance in the body or a neurochemical imbalance in the brain. It might evolve from an emotional problem, such as depression or low self-esteem. A lack of intellectual stimulation or spiritual fulfillment can dampen sex drive, too.
Regardless of where a blockage originates, it can feed into other imbalances over time. Identifying the true source of trouble becomes more challenging. Attention to all the elements that drive your life energy—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual—is necessary for sexual desire to return.
As we’ve seen, it doesn’t take a major life change to trigger the cascade of events that eventually stifles your sex drive. The simple act of living can cause your life energy, and your libido, to stagnate. It happens to every woman at some point in her life.
Likewise, every woman is entitled to a robust sex drive. It’s an important part of being female and a vital source of pleasure in life. Maintaining this desire, and the life energy that supports it, requires mindfulness and effort. That’s true for everyone, even when libido is healthy. You need to decide for yourself whether the time and commitment are worth the eventual payoff.
Rest assured, you don’t need to achieve absolute balance among the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual components of your sexuality and your self in order to reclaim your desire. You can want sex again without resolving all the underlying issues that may be affecting your libido. For most women, the simple act of consciously and fastidiously attending to the need for balance is enough to bring about change.
The fact is, some of the issues that affect your libido may not be solvable. That’s the reality for us. Even so, if you acknowledge them and make the best of them, the odds are good that you’ll want sex again.
Of course, reclaiming your sexual desire won’t happen overnight. During this time, it’s easy to isolate yourself from the rest of the world and to succumb to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Rather than sinking into self-criticism and blame—as women often do when exploring their sexual selves—use your low libido as a tool for personal understanding and growth. You’ll learn more about yourself, your relationships, and your place in the grand scheme of things.
We’ve provided the necessary information to start you on the path to reclaiming your sexual desire. The rest is up to you. Fear of the unknown is your most formidable adversary now. We routinely work with clients who—when faced with the prospect of discovering their deepest, most intimate selves—tearfully ask, “What if I don’t like the woman I find?” Although this may be a possibility, neither of us has ever seen it. What we have seen is women achieving a heightened sense of self in their pursuit of a healthy, satisfying sex drive. We wish the same for you.