“‘Four bedroom house on St. Clair Avenue West, suit family,’ it says. What do you know about St. Clair Avenue West?” Emma asked. They were sitting in a café, Aggie, Will, and Emma, looking at the ads in the newspaper.
“Whereabouts?” Will asked. He placed his hand over Aggie’s resting on the seat beside him and squeezed.
“It says at Keele.”
“That’s near to the stockyards,” Will said.
Aggie wrinkled her nose. “Will it no smell?”
“It may,” Will said. “In that case the rent will be cheaper.”
“I’ll circle it,” Emma said, and she read on. This was how Aggie spent her half days now, visiting likely houses, prowling through junk shops with Will and Emma. From comments her sister made, Aggie gathered that Emma was still seeing Stuart. But he never came with her and it was clear Emma didn’t want to talk about him. Aggie knew there was no point in trying to make her.
The house on St. Clair faced the stockyards. The slaughter houses were right behind, and Aggie was right: the whole neighbourhood stank. But the house was big and well made and Will was right too: the rent was more than reasonable. So the two sisters put a deposit on the house and it was theirs from the beginning of August. To Aggie and Emma, the house seemed filthy. Determined to make it fit for their family, they attacked it on their half days with all energy and the skill of their combined years in domestic service.
Will helped with the heavy jobs and did whatever the girls asked. He had tried cleaning at first, but his work was quickly deemed inadequate, so mostly he looked on in wonder.
“I never knew two such enemies of dirt,” he said one day, handing a bucket of clean, soapy water to Aggie. She was on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor. The day was hot, and sweat trickled down her forehead.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness, Will. That’s what our mum would say.” Aggie said. She peered intently at the floor. “It’s mostly built up wax, I think. We need steel wool.”
“I could go look for some if you likes,” Will offered. “I gets right uncomfortable, watching you two work so hard.”
Aggie smiled. “Will, my son, that would be grand.”
Will laughed. “We’ll make a Newfoundlander of you yet, Aggie maid,” and he was gone.
The two girls had worked without speaking for some time when Aggie heard a scrub brush fall. She glanced up to see Emma lurch a little, and put her hand up to her head.
“Emma! Are you all right?” Aggie crossed the slippery floor to her sister’s side.
“Just a wee bit faint,” Emma said. Her voice sounded as if it came from very far away. The colour had drained from her face.
“Well, let’s get you off the kitchen floor. Oh, I wish there was a chair,” Aggie glanced around the empty room. “Come into the hall.” Aggie helped her sister into the hall and eased her onto the stairs. “Put your head down now, right between your knees. I’ll get you a glass of cold water.”
When Aggie returned with the water, Emma’s head was up. Some of the colour was back in her face, but a tear trickled down her cheek. Aggie could not recall ever seeing Emma cry.
“Emma! Is something wrong?”
“I hope not, Aggie,” Emma began, but the front door behind them swung open.
“Steel wool . . .” Will started to say. “What’s wrong?”
“Emma nearly fainted.”
“Must be the heat,” Will said.
“Em, do you feel okay now?” Aggie asked. Emma nodded.
“Perhaps you’d like to go home, spend the rest of the day with your feet up,” Will suggested.
“I think I will, Aggie, if you dinna mind being left with the work.”
“Not at all, Em. Do you want us to go with you?”
“No, I’ll be fine now, I’m sure,” Emma said. She did look better, and she insisted on going home alone.
After she left, Will said, “We may as well bide here. Show me what to do with this steel wool. Perhaps I can be some help to you now.”
Later, as they’d finished working, Aggie turned to Will.
“Emma’s not herself these days. I’ve never seen her faint before. Do you think she could be sick?”
Will did not reply at first. Then he said softly,
O Rose, thou art sick
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,
Has found out thy bed
of crimson joy
and his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.
He fell silent.
“Did you make that up?” Aggie asked.
“Me? No. My mother taught me that. It’s by an English fellow, William Blake. Had some strange ideas, Blake did, but he was a fine hand with a poem.”
“But Will, what does it mean?” Aggie asked.
“Nothing, I hope,” Will said quietly. “I just thought of it now is all. Well, at least we got the floor clean. I’ll take you somewheres for supper.”
“Let me wash up then.”
After they’d washed, Aggie tidied the sink. Will came up behind her and began to unpin her hair. Aggie laughed. “Will, what are you doing?”
“Shh,” he said. He combed out her hair with his fingers.
Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hair. Aggie relaxed against him. All the tiredness and worry drained from her body. They stood together like that, not moving, for a long moment. Aggie closed her eyes. I’d be happy to stay like this forever, she thought.
“Aggie,” Will said at last, “I don’t suppose your parents have had time to write you about our news, have they?”
Aggie tensed and pulled away, suddenly embarrassed. She kept her head down, busying herself with the kitchen sink again.
“Aggie, you did write to tell them, didn’t you?”
Aggie turned to face him. She shook her head. “They’ve so much to think about just now, Will. The new baby, coming to Canada . . . I thought I’d wait until they’re here.”
The disappointment in his eyes was almost more than she could bear. “Are you ashamed of me?” he asked quietly.
“No! Will. How could you think such a thing? It’s just . . . my father. I’ve never been able to stand up to him. I’m sure he thinks I’ll ask for his approval before I marry anyone. I didn’a want him to come here angry to begin with, angry with you.”
Will stood silent for a long moment, then said, “Aggie, why don’t we get married now?”
“Now?”
“Yes. In the next few weeks I mean. If we’re married, there won’t be anything they can do. They’ll have to accept it. We could find ourselves a little place like this . . .” Aggie’s nose wrinkled.
“Well, not like this exactly, but a place of our own. We could be together. You wouldn’t have to clean other people’s houses. I don’t like to see you slave like this.”
“Will, I canna do that. You know why.”
“Aggie, I’ve got money put by. I could help your family.” Aggie shook her head. “My father would never hear of it, Will. You’ll understand after you’ve met him. He’s too proud to take your money.”
“I’ve never laid eyes on this man, and I’m after disliking him already.”
“Will, dinna say that.”
“Just promise me you’ll think about marrying me now?”
Aggie hesitated. “If you want me to,” she said finally. “But I’ll need some time to think. Give me a week.”
“You want to go a week without seeing me?” he asked.
They had never spent more than a few days apart since the night they met on the ferry.
“Will, if I’m to make the right choice, I need some time alone. If I’m with you, it’s too easy to say yes. You remember, when you were trying to make up your mind about George, you took a few days to yourself.”
Will nodded. “So I did. Well, a week then. Let’s say I’ll see you a week from today.”
“Thank you, Will,” Aggie said. She reached up and kissed him. “Now, what about dinner?”
For the first few days, Aggie tried not to think at all. She wanted to let the feeling of being with Will wear off so she could think more clearly. But when Sunday came, she missed Will so much she could barely stop herself from going out to look for him. What I need, she thought, is someone to talk to. But who? Emma is too wrapped up in her own troubles just now. If only Mum were here, she thought.
Who else could she talk to? Hannah. Hannah would know what to do, Aggie was sure. She flew out the door and down to the streetcar stop, without thinking about what she was doing. She was on the Spadina streetcar before it occurred to her to wonder if Moshe Mendorfsky would welcome her. But it was too late to stop. If Aggie didn’t go to the Mendorfskys, she would surely stay on the streetcar until she came to King Street, too near the cafe where Will was almost certain to eat his dinner. She knew she could not come looking for him four days early without also saying she would marry him as soon as he wanted. I’ll stay in the kitchen, Aggie thought. Rachel and Moshe won’t need to know I’m there. She got off the streetcar and retraced the path she had first taken with Hannah all those months before.
When the Mendorfskys’ kitchen door opened, Aggie found herself enveloped in a warm hug. Then Hannah stood her at arm’s length. “So beautiful you are looking, Agnes. You must be in love,” Hannah said. “Yes?”
Aggie nodded shyly.
“Rachel and Moshe are in parlour,” Hannah said. “You go in, surprise Rachel. She has missed you.”
Aggie’s heart leapt into her throat. “Oh, Hannah, I dinna think . . .”
But Hannah would not listen.
“Come,” she said, and took Aggie by the hand.
Rachel was sitting on the sofa with Moshe, reading a book. “Did you bring lemonade, Hannah?” she asked and then she looked up. “Agnes!” she cried, and rose to meet her friend. Aggie noticed the thickness in Rachel’s waist right away. Rachel followed her gaze and laughed. “I am getting fat, yes?” she said, putting her hands over her waist. “The doctor says baby will be born in January.” She beamed.
“Oh Rachel, I’m so happy for you.”
“Yes, we are happy too,” Moshe said. Even he seemed pleased to see Aggie.
“Come, sit beside me,” Rachel said. “So often I think about you. Hannah, will you bring lemonade now?”
Aggie told Rachel of her family, her new baby brother, and the house on St. Clair Avenue. Rachel listened attentively.
“So now, everything is happy in your life, yes?” Rachel said.
“Yes,” Aggie said, not without reluctance. Rachel gave her a questioning look. When it was time to go, Rachel walked out into the hall and hugged Aggie.
“Now you talk with Hannah,” Rachel whispered quickly. “Hannah is wise. If you have trouble, you tell to her.” Then she said more loudly, “One day you come back to visit on Thursday afternoon. We will talk like before.”
Aggie went into the kitchen. “You eat dinner?” Hannah asked.
“Hannah, it’s three in the afternoon,” Aggie said.
“So you have another glass of lemonade and talk to me.” It was easy to feel comfortable with Hannah. Aggie quickly told her everything about her family and Will. “So he wants me to marry him now,” she finished, “before they come. I don’t know what I should do.”
“This man, do you love him?” Hannah asked.
“So much, sometimes it seems as if we are one person in two bodies.”
Hannah nodded. “This is love,” she said. “But when you are married it is forever. It is not good to hurry forever.”
“But my father . . .” Aggie said.
“Why your family is coming to Canada, Agnes?” Hannah asked.
“To get away from the mines, of course,” Aggie said, but Hannah swept this reply aside.
“No. This is not what I am asking. Your family is coming to Canada because you work so hard. Because you make . . . what is word? Sacrifice. All winter, I am thinking no daughter ever works so hard for her family. You know you love this man. You must tell your father you have earned the right to make your marriage. And he must listen. This is new land. In new land there are new ways,” Hannah spoke with determination. “And then you will marry when you are ready. Not to fool parents. Not as if your love is shameful thing. You will have proper wedding, under canopy with all your family. Not under canopy,” she amended, “but with all your family to share your joy and wish you happy life.”
Aggie sat quietly for a while, thinking about what Hannah had said. “You’re right,” she said at last. “I’ve been so confused, trying to decide. But everything you said is exactly right.”
Hannah smiled. “When you are old woman like me, it is easy to be right. Agnes, you always have lived to please other people. Now is your time to please you. Do what is best for you.”
When she left the Mendorfsky house, Hannah hugged her again. “You come back, tell me how story ends,” she said.
“I will,” Aggie promised. “Rachel asked me to as well.” On the streetcar, Aggie thought about what Hannah had said. She felt she had spent the last few days in a cage. Now, Hannah had unlocked it for her.
On Thursday, when Will came, he did not ask Aggie for her answer right away. Instead, he asked her to go to the island.
“Been working non-stop, Aggie maid,” he said. “That house is almost perfect and you need a day off.” When they boarded the streetcar, Will said, “Heber Quigley let George go. Even bootleggers needs hard workers it seems.”
“Oh Will, I’m so pleased.”
“Yes, I figure now, if I’d’ve gone after George we’d probably both be working for that old devil still. George came to me, asking for help to find a proper job again. Seems like he’s had some of the wind knocked out of his sails. The whole thing might have done him some good.”
“Well, I hope so.”
“And how’s Emma?” Will asked.
“I haven’t seen her since last week. Will, I hope she’ll be all right.”
Will looked at Aggie seriously for a moment before he spoke.
“It may be that Emma’s headed for trouble, Aggie. That Stuart Donaldson sounds like a bad one. But she’s your sister and that makes her part of my crowd now. No matter what happens, we’ll look out for her.” He spoke with such fervour that Aggie felt better.
“Well, I hope she stays away from the house today. There’s not much left to do now.”
“I got the loan of a truck next Thursday if you wants it,” Will said. “We could pick up the furniture you got deposits on, get most of it into the house.”
“That would be wonderful.”
The day was bright and cloudless, but not too hot—one of those August days when everything suddenly seems clear and sharply defined after the haze of summer. When they reached the ferry docks Will said, “We’ll go to Ward’s Island today.” Aggie wondered why. There was nothing on Ward’s but places where people camped in the summertime.
Will hardly spoke, but Aggie could see how anxious he was. After they boarded the ferry, Aggie could hardly stand the tension.
“Will,” she said, “we need to talk.”
“Not yet, Aggie. There’s something I want to show you first, if it’s still there.”
When they got off the ferry, Will only said, “This way.”
He guided her past the funny little houses with their wooden walls and canvas roofs, towards the Eastern Gap. Here they came to a few big willow trees that stood alone on a grassy field.
“Keep your eyes down till I tells you,” Will said, leading her towards one of the trees. “Now, look up.”
Aggie looked up and caught her breath. The tree was covered with hundreds, maybe thousands, of orange butterflies, their bright wings splashed with black and white, glowing in the sunshine. The whole tree looked like some kind of flower. Sometimes a gentle breeze blew a cloud of butterflies off a branch. They drifted against the blue sky for a moment, then slowly fluttered back. Aggie and Will stood beneath the tree for a long time, speechless.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Aggie said at last. “It’s beautiful.”
“I was out here yesterday. I just hoped they’d still be here.” Will said. “Monarchs they’re called. Never seen them ‘till came to Ontario.”
“But why are they here?” Aggie asked. “Do you know?”
“Waiting to fly south, I believe.”
“You’re joking!”
“No maid, I’m telling you the truth. And now perhaps you’ll do the same for me. Aggie, I needs to know.”
Aggie turned to face him. “I’ll marry you, Will Collins,” she said. “Never doubt that. But I want a proper wedding, as a friend of mine would say, with all my family to share our joy and wish us a happy life.”
“And your father?”
“He’ll have to understand,” Aggie said. She wished she felt as certain as she sounded.
“I’ve had a week to think myself,” Will said. He paused.
“Aggie, there only ever was my mother and myself. You knows as much. I can’t lie to you, my maid.
The idea of sharing you with so many people scares me. I panicked, I suppose. But it would be wrong for me to force a wedge between you and your family. I knows nothing about being part of a family such as yours. But if you stand beside me, I’m willing to learn.”
“I’ll stand beside you, Will.”
Will smiled. “I had time to do a bit of shopping last week when I was on my own. I never bought one of these before, so perhaps it won’t be to your liking, but I wondered if you might wear it, as a token.”
He drew a small box from his jacket pocket and opened it. Inside was a narrow gold band with a tiny diamond and two small rubies.
“I’ve never seen anything as lovely,” she said.
“Then perhaps you’ll let me put it on your hand.” Will drew the ring out of the box and took her left hand. Above them, a tree full of butterflies fluttered against the bright blue sky.
The night before her family was to arrive in Toronto, Aggie dreamed herself back in Loughlinter. She was standing by the iron gate of the cemetery in a winter drizzle. Behind her, she knew, was the automobile that would carry her to Glasgow and the ship. She passed old stone markers etched with lichen and found the unmarked grave where her brother lay.
“Goodbye, Dougie,” she said softly. “I’m leaving for Canada now.” And she turned away. When she reached the cemetery gate, she saw the borrowed auto. But Will, not her father, stood waiting for her.
“Come along, Aggie maid,” he said, putting his arm around her. “They expect you to meet them at the station.”
When Aggie woke, the house was dark and quiet. Only a few hours and her family would be here. She held on to the dream for a moment. Wherever her brother Dougie was now, she felt sure he was not beneath the cold, hard ground outside Loughlinter. She rose and dressed quietly and slipped down to the kitchen to eat breakfast. To her surprise, a box was waiting on the kitchen table with her name on it. Inside she found soft, thick towels, the colour of daffodils and a note: A present for your family, with best wishes, Mr. and Mrs. Stockwood.
While she ate, Aggie studied the ring winking on her finger. The thought of facing her father gave her butterflies. Then she remembered the tree full of butterflies, and the look in Will’s eyes when he’d placed this ring on her finger. She took a deep breath. She hoped her father would take to Will. Perhaps he wouldn’t. Will came to the kitchen door a few minutes later and they set off together while the sun came up casting long, rosy shadows on the new day.
Union Station was as quiet and cathedral-like as it had been that winter day a year and a half before when Aggie came in from the train alone. Emma was waiting for them. Aggie tried to read her face. She thought she saw a new sadness in her sister’s eyes. But then people began to come in from the tracks and there was no time to think what that might mean. For suddenly, there was Callum, looking so out of place in his short pants, then Ewan and James and Flora and Jen. Emma and Aggie bounded away from Will. Could that be Jen? She was so tall! Then Jen flew into Aggie’s arms. They hugged and Aggie knew this big girl really was her little sister. When Aggie looked up again, her mother and father were there.
The baby called Dougie was asleep in her mother’s arms. Aggie went to her mother and kissed her.
“He must be heavy, Mum,” she said. “Let me take him for you.” As Aggie reached for the baby, her mother noticed the engagement ring. A look of surprise crossed her face, but she said nothing as she gave the baby to Aggie. The weight of him pressed against Aggie’s heart. As soon as she touched him, she forgave him for taking her brother’s name. Then she looked up and saw Will watching her, standing awkward and alone by the bench where she’d left him.
Aggie glanced at her parents. Her father had noticed Will. He looked at Aggie and raised his eyebrows. “That lad over there is watching you, Aggie,” he said. “Do you know him?”
Aggie met her father’s eyes without flinching.
“That I do, Da. He came here to meet you, to meet you all.” Then, suddenly, Aggie knew she was not afraid of her father. She was not the girl he’d left at the docks in Glasgow all those months before. This had nothing to do with Will. For the first time, Aggie realized how strong she could be.
She went to Will, her small brother still in her arms.
“Have you ever held a baby?” she asked. He shook his head. “After you’ve met everyone, I’ll show you how.” She smiled up at him. “Someday you’ll need to know.”
He put his arm around her shoulder and she took him to meet her family.