It was almost six. The food smelled delicious. Eddy hadn’t been seen since we’d gotten home from school. My mom had let my dad back in the kitchen once most of the food was ready. Small victory for my dad there. Marie had sent about fifteen texts, all of them asking various questions and making unhelpful suggestions, about Kate Monroe.
Who would be here at any minute. I was strangely calm. At first, I was worried that I was having a nervous breakdown. But I had gone so far past terrified that I was in a whole other, undefined zone of terror. My entire body was tingling, and my mind seemed to be working super slow. At that point, I didn’t even know if I would be able to actually say anything to her when she came. I walked up to my room and then back downstairs again, so I knew my body still worked.
The couch in the living room had been my base for the past half hour. After my dad had joined my mom in the kitchen, I had taken his place in front of the television. But instead of the constant channel flipping, an infomercial had been on since I sat down. If someone asked me the next day what product that infomercial had been selling, I didn’t think I could tell them if it was a juicer or an exercise bike.
I checked my phone again. It was 5:58. Two more minutes and Kate Monroe would be here. In my home. Under the same roof where I had imagined us on delightful dates together. My worlds were about to collide: home versus school, reality versus fantasy. And I didn’t know what would happen upon collision.
My parents had left me alone in the couple of hours since I’d talked with my mom. I was almost 100 percent sure my mom had said something to my dad about my reaction to texting Kate Monroe. I thought I should start carrying around a mirror so I could see exactly what my face looked like as I did different things. Both Marie and Eddy had commented on it in the last couple of days. It was disturbing that I was apparently so transparent. I was scared to death what Kate Monroe saw on my face when she looked at me.
The doorbell rang. It was probably her. My heart started beating faster, and then I was off the couch and on my feet. Before I knew it, I was at the door. I could see a glimpse of blonde hair through the little window by the door, and then I opened it and there she was.
Her hair was up in a ponytail, and little wisps were flying around her head like a crazy little halo. Her face, with her blue, blue eyes, was a little red around the cheeks and across her nose. I guessed cheer practice had been particularly vigorous that afternoon.
No uniform. I was not sure whether to be relieved or not. Because instead of a sleeveless uniform top with a short skirt, she was wearing an oversized white T-shirt with our school logo on it and yoga pants. Yoga pants are simultaneously the best and the worst things ever.
“Hi,” I said, hoping that my greeting wasn’t too late. I wasn’t sure how long I had been standing there, looking at Kate Monroe on my front door step, before I actually said anything to her. This visit was not going how I’d wanted it to, and it had only been a few seconds.
She didn’t look put out, though. She actually looked happy to see me. “Hi,” she said back, giving me a wave. I was noticing that was a thing she did, at least when she saw me. A little wave to accompany her greeting. She really was friendly.
Shaking myself out of my Kate Monroe appreciation haze, I stepped back and held the door open for her. “Sorry, come in. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
She stepped through the doorway, and now she was officially in my house. I never thought this would ever happen.
“Thanks for inviting me to dinner,” she said. “I didn’t get to eat anything before practice. Usually I grab a snack, but today I was in a rush and didn’t get to have my granola bar. So I’m pretty hungry now. So thanks again. For feeding me.” She trailed off at the end of the last sentence, as if regretting what she had just said. I didn’t think she’d said anything regrettable, but now she was looking around the front area of the house in a way that was less curiosity and more avoidance.
Trying to make her feel more at ease since she seemed nervous (though I had no idea what she would be nervous about; I was the one whose crush was now in her home after two days of smiles and unannounced car visits), I walked over to where she had wandered, closer to the living room. I noticed she had her backpack on. “You can put your bag down here,” I said, pointing to a corner near the stairs. “We can study in the living room after dinner, or in my room, or somewhere else. My sister might be lurking around, so we can figure that out later.” I momentarily felt bad about giving Kate Monroe a negative view of my sister, but sometimes the truth hurt.
“Your room would be great!” she said enthusiastically. As if she’d realized she’d said that maybe too enthusiastically, she backtracked. “I mean, your room would be fine. Whatever works is fine with me. The living room is fine too. This is your house, so any room you want to study in is fine with me.” She was nodding as if to reassure me. I was amazed that she’d said the word “fine” so many times in so few sentences.
"I guess we can see what my parents will be doing after dinner. If they want to watch a movie or something, then the kitchen or my room would probably be the best bet," I said. She was still nodding, standing in my living room. It was so weird having Kate Monroe in my house. Especially since she looked very uncomfortable. Her fingers were playing with each other like they had in the car this morning. She hadn't moved to put her bag down, either.
I moved toward her with the intention of taking her bag. Before I was able to get any words out, though, her eyes widened and she took a half step back from me. I could tell it was just an instinctual reaction.
But I froze, not knowing now if I should ask for the bag or not. So we just stood there looking at each other. She didn't look afraid, just surprised. I guess I had startled her. I could see her throat work as she swallowed, and then she opened her mouth to speak. I had learned while babysitting that sometimes it was best just to stay silent for a little bit to get the information that you wanted from someone. So I just stood there, watching her. And I waited. And waited.
She continued to stand there almost frozen, just blinking her eyes and breathing. Maybe she had hit her head during cheer practice?
"I can take your bag from you if you’d like," I slowly said, not wanting to startle her from whatever thoughts had temporarily short-circuited her brain. That seemed to do the trick, because she was moving again now, slinging her bag from her back and holding it in front of her with one hand.
"Thanks," she responded. She held it out toward me to take. I grabbed it with one hand, mirroring her hold, and promptly keeled over with the sudden weight. Well, that was embarrassing.
Any hope that Kate Monroe had somehow missed my failure to hold up her backpack right in front of her was dashed when she reached for it herself to lift it back up. “Oh, sorry! I should have warned you that it was so heavy. I have a lot of books in there, plus all my other stuff. I guess I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t even notice how heavy it is anymore.” She then made a show of using both of her hands to set it aside. “I really shouldn’t overpack it. I’m going to kill my back if I keep carrying it around like that,” she said with a little laugh.
I sighed. “No, I’m sorry. These things”—and here I wiggled my arms around a bit for emphasis—“are mostly just for show. As you just saw, I’m not exactly in the best shape. I really should start working out more.” I paused before I said, “Or at all, really.”
She brightened up at this. “We can be workout buddies if you want! My parents bought some exercise equipment a few years ago for the house, and I’m the only one who uses any of it. You could come by anytime and use the treadmill, or we could lift some weights if you want to build some strength.” She gasped and her eyes lit up. “We could put together a plan, too, so we know exactly what to work on each session. How does that sound?” she asked.
What to say to the girl I had a crush on, who I hadn’t spoken more than a few words to in my entire life, when she suggested we spend even more time together outside of school doing things that would make us both sweaty and out of breath? That naughty part of me that I only unleashed behind locked doors in the middle of the night had some suggestions that didn't include using a treadmill. But that part was currently stuffed in a metaphorical box somewhere in a corner of my mind.
“Sure, sounds good,” eventually came out of my mouth. I had absolutely no desire to follow up on this, though, since the last thing I needed was Kate Monroe watching me flail around on exercise equipment. A girl had to have some pride left intact.
She looked even happier when I agreed to be her workout buddy. I felt bad, but I wasn't Marie, who refused to tell a lie. I was Haley, more than willing to bend the truth to keep someone, especially Kate Monroe, happy.
I was saved from further talk of exercise by Eddy, who was coming down the stairs while we were still standing by the front foyer. She came over to us, and I saw her give Kate Monroe a once-over before she stuck out her hand in my new study/workout buddy's direction.
"Eddy Suarez, how do you do?" my sister asked formally. I blatantly rolled my eyes. She was acting like she was meeting a potential employer at a job interview.
The introduction didn't seem to bother Kate Monroe, though, who just shook my sister's hand and responded in kind. "I'm fine, thanks. Kate Monroe, it's a pleasure to meet you. I’ll be studying tonight with Haley. I assume you’re her sister?” Smooth as anything. I had to give her credit for taking Eddy in stride.
My sister nodded her acknowledgment. She looked like a professor wisely listening to a doting student. How a fifteen-year-old girl could have the paternalism of an old man was a mystery to me.
“Yes, I’ve seen you around school. I believe you’re in history with Haley?” Eddy said. I was surprised. I didn’t think Eddy even knew which classes I was taking, let alone who was in those classes with me. My sister was way more perceptive than I’d given her credit for. This could be a very bad thing.
“Yes, I am,” Kate Monroe responded. “I've seen you around also. You do very good work with all the clubs. Good luck on the student representative elections coming up soon. I heard that your class race is going to be very tight,” she continued. I was dumbfounded that Kate Monroe knew anything about Eddy’s election. I knew cheerleaders had school spirit, but she seemed to go above and beyond.
They were continuing their conversation about the upcoming elections and the different clubs Eddy was a member of when I had to interrupt. It was getting too weird. I had to put an end to this little meeting before they forgot I was even there. There might have also been a little bit of jealousy that my sister was taking up valuable Kate Monroe time. I had started off being nervous and dreading this study session, but now I was getting more and more curious about my new partner. She was turning out to be not at all what I’d expected.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I said, not really sorry at all, “but it's probably getting close to dinner now, so we should probably head over to the kitchen.” I gestured to where I could now see my parents standing near the table. I didn’t know how long they had been waiting, but they looked as if they had been watching an interesting show. Unfortunately, that show was my life.
“Yes, please come on in and have a seat,” my mom said, gesturing to a chair by the kitchen table. The dining room table was full of papers and other stuff, and no one had bothered to clean that up for one extra person at dinner tonight. Anyway, I liked eating in the kitchen better. It was a lot cozier than sitting at the formal dining room table.
“Thank you so much for inviting me to dinner tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Suarez,” Kate Monroe said as she took the seat that was offered. “And I really appreciate Haley letting me use her notes for history, too. And for suggesting this study session.” She threw me a smile. “It's never too early to start studying for an exam.”
“We are more than happy to have you here tonight,” my dad said as he sat at the round table directly across from our guest. “Haley mentioned that you were studying for history tonight. Are you having much trouble in the class?” he asked her.
“Not really,” she said. “I like world history and I find it really interesting, so it's actually one of my better classes. I was out for a doctor’s appointment and missed some stuff, though, so it's great that Haley can fill me in on the gaps.” She turned back to look at me, and I realized I was the only person still standing. An extra chair had been pulled up to the table, so it was a little more crowded than usual. Eddy was on one side of Kate Monroe, and on the other side was the last empty chair. I gingerly sat myself in the seat and tried my best not to touch her accidentally. This was going to be a long dinner.
My parents were always good at keeping up a conversation. They asked about school and cheerleading and college plans as everyone filled their plates with food. I was silent for most of the back and forth. But when she mentioned that she was going to the same university as me, I chimed in.
“I'm going there too,” I said. “It was actually my first choice.”
My mom added in her own thoughts. “We are so happy that Haley will be going to school close by. How do your parents feel about you staying in state, Kate?” she asked.
“My dad really wanted me to go out west, where he went to school,” she said. “But my mom is really happy that I'm going to only be a couple of hours away.”
Eddy, who had been meticulously constructing her tacos as the rest of us were talking, took a break from eating long enough to throw a verbal bomb in my direction.
“You and Haley should think about being roommates,” she said. I wanted to kick her underneath the table, but my legs were too short and Kate Monroe was sitting right between us. She was giving me this innocent expression. A little too innocent. There was no way my sister could know that I had a crush on Kate Monroe and was playing with me. Right?
Kate seemed to like the suggestion. “Do you think we could do that? I thought roommates were random. Will you be staying on campus or in an off-campus apartment?” she asked.
Living with Kate Monroe in a dorm room would be torture. It would be sweet torture, but it would probably drive me crazy. I had seen the dorm rooms when I’d gone for a tour last year. Those things were old and tiny. Freshmen didn't get to stay in the new suites, so we would be stuck in the oldest buildings on campus. The dorm rooms had just enough room for two twin beds, two desks, and two dressers. Living in such a small space with the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen was unthinkable. As in, my brain could literally not process the thought.
“I'll be on campus,” I hesitatingly said, not sure what I was going to say next. Luckily, my dad came to my rescue before I had to think of anything else.
“We just hope that she doesn't get stuck with the type of roommate I had in college. He was a great guy, but a horrible roommate. Messy, lazy, and always asking for money.”
My mom jumped in with a comment. "I remember him. Despite all that, he was an okay guy. He always gave us privacy when we needed it."
My sister and I groaned at that, Eddy covering her ears with her hands. "Please do not talk about your college dating life,” I begged. “We know how the story ends. It's a happy ending.”
"I bet it was," l heard Kate Monroe say underneath her breath. She quickly looked up to see if anyone else had heard her. We made eye contact and she gave me a sheepish smile. "Sorry," she whispered.
And there was another thing I’d discovered about her: she made dirty jokes sometimes. I smiled back at her. I didn't know how long we had been smiling at each other before my mom asked me a question.
"Haley, why don't you and Kate go up to your room and finish your dinner while you start studying?" That was when I noticed that we were the only ones with full plates of food in front of us. Kate had a mesmerizing effect on me. I was getting in these loops where I didn’t know how much time passed when I was with her. The entire dinner had gone by with me hardly eating anything—and hardly noticing anything other than the girl I was sitting next to. She had made me forget about my mom’s tacos. If anyone had even suggested that such a thing was possible, I would have laughed in their face. But here we were.
At least I wasn’t the only one who had neglected their dinner. Kate's plate was also full. It was a little disappointing that she didn’t seem to like my mom’s food, but I guess no one was perfect. Kate Monroe sure came the closest, though, at least to me.
I looked to my guest, who was looking down at her plate like she was surprised to see food there. She must have felt my eyes on her, because she looked up and we silently agreed to my mom’s suggestion.
“Okay, we’ll get started on studying upstairs,” I said to the table. Kate was putting some more rice and beans on her plate as I stood up and grabbed my own plate. She really was so nice for trying not to hurt my mom’s feelings by pretending to like her food.
“Thanks for making all this delicious food, Mrs. Suarez. I love tacos callejeros.” She was busy steadying her plate in one hand and a drink in the other, so she didn’t see my mom’s and dad’s surprised but pleased expressions that she knew about Mexican street tacos. She had a pretty good accent, too.
“You are very welcome, Kate. Stop by anytime you’re in the mood for tacos. It's no problem whipping some up for you,” my mom said with a smile. My dad sent her a surly side-eye.
As we were leaving with plates in hand, I thought I heard the word “girlfriend” from somewhere behind me. I hustled a little faster.
“My room is upstairs,” I called out behind me as we made our way to the second floor. I was glad Kate couldn’t see my flinch at that obviously redundant bit of news. She picked up her backpack as we walked, and before I knew it we were at the door to my room. I was glad it was open a crack from when I’d left earlier. I nudged it open with my foot, since both my hands were occupied, and when I saw my bed front and center, it officially hit me.
I was going to be alone, in my bedroom, with Kate Monroe.