Index

Addis, Michael 202

adrenalin 263

agoraphobia 263

alcohol see drinking

Allen, Woody 124

amygdala 261

‘analysis paralysis’ 144, 277, 442

anger 16–19, 63, 70, 89–90, 96–7, 205, 330–88

breaking down episodes 337–9, 352, 357

breathing into 362–3, 367

causes of 331–2

defusion skills 356–60, 387–8

expressing 430–2

and hot labelling 345–6

problematic 333, 360

and responsibility 378

and traffic 130–1

triggers of 333–4, 356

anger behaviours 335, 356–7

anger feelings 334–5, 348–52, 356

anger thoughts 334, 339–40, 356

anger urges 335, 356, 379–80

anhedonia 124

Annie Hall 124

anti-depressants 200

anxiety 7–10, 70, 101, 259–329

and avoidance 269–70, 314

causes of 272–5

and childhood 272–3, 275–7

and mind tricks 288–90

nature of 260–2

and personality traits 274

and responsibility 307

and rules 294, 313

struggle with 280–8

and thinking styles 264–8, 274–5

and vigilance 291

anxiety disorders 262–3, 272

apologies 387

appetite, changes in 198, 210

Archer, Rob 31

Aristotle 330

Armstrong, Lance 434

assertiveness 429–32, 451

Australia 163

awareness, distinguished from thinking 77

Awareness of Breath 84–6, 312

Bear and the Blueberry Bush, the 31–2, 42, 260, 344

behavioural activation 202

BIF: Beautiful, Interesting, Funny 128–9

body dysmorphic disorder 263

Bond, Frank 433

breathing 175, 247, 296, 298, 312, 374, 444

into anger 362–3, 367

see also Awareness of Breath; Three-Step Breathing Space

breathing rate, increased 263–4, 334, 357

broadening your life 319–29

Brown, Brené 207

Callahan, Steven 239–40

cartoon characters 55 ‘catastrophe perspective’ 101–3, 450

celebrity culture 389

chest pain 263

Chifley, Ben 163

chocolate cake 73

Churchill, Winston 197

comfort zone, living beyond 319–22

committed action see purpose

common humanity 242

curiosity 78

cycling 65

dancing 49–50

Darwin, Charles 331

dating 400, 404–5, 451

de-emphasising thoughts and feelings 433

depression (and sadness) 21–3, 47, 70, 124, 196–258

and avoidance 198, 206, 211, 223–4, 250

causes of 199–203

and choice 222–3

and inactivity 209–13

and mind tricks 227–34, 249–50

physical symptoms of 198–9

and purposeful activity 250–6

and responsibility 231–2

and self-compassion 235–9

and shame 242–3

triggers and responses 221–3

despair 197, 238, 366

disaster movies 303–6

disgust 264

Dittmar, Suzy 128

drinking 10, 14, 22–4, 58, 61, 73, 165, 199, 207, 251, 269, 271

drugs 58, 61, 165, 199, 207, 269

Durant, Will 436

Eating a Sweet 126–8, 247, 380–2

Elias, Ric 354

embarrassment 118, 266, 349, 363, 365–6

Emerson, Ralph Waldo 330

emotional radio 68–9

emotions 56–72

acceptance of 63–4

beyond anger 363–8

and depression 205, 207

getting to know 65–7

opening up to 70–2, 361

unwanted or difficult 60–1

see also urges

engagement 123

eudaimonia and hedonia 140–1

exercise 61, 79, 442–3

Expanding Your Awareness 384–6

exposure 317, 328

Extending Compassion Towards the Child Within 119–20, 378

failure, handling 446–8

fear 260–1, 269, 279, 291–2, 313, 317

see also anxiety

‘fight or flight’ response 261, 263, 334

fitting in 149–51

Flaxman, Paul 433

flexible persistence 437, 443

flexibility 79, 98, 121, 123, 236, 318, 383, 445

and sense of self 433–5

food 61, 123, 207

football 110

Frost, Robert 436

Fry, Stephen 196

funny voices, and anger 358

gardening 179–80

Getting Things Done 188

goals 143–9, 182–3, 186–9, 441–2

SMART goals 186–7

Gretzky, Wayne 226

habits, forming 439–42

happiness, longing for 12–15

headaches 263

health 8–9, 137

health anxiety 263

heart rate 263–4, 334, 352, 357

hot labelling 345–6, 356

Hudson River crash landing 354

human ancestors 35–6, 91, 260, 331

Imagine if No One Cared What You Did 414–16

inactivity 209–13

Internet 61, 207

introversion 274

Jacobson, Neil 202

Jolie, Angelina 389–90

‘jukebox musicals’ 404–5

Kabat-Zinn, Jon 83

kayaking 438

Keller, Helen 6, 459

Kelly, David 446

kindness 424–5

language 34–5, 345

Life as a Work in Progress 184–5

life directions see values Life of Approach 191

lifestyle changes 439–43

Light on the Hill 163–4, 441

Livestrong charity 434

Livheim, Fredrik 433

loneliness 12, 22, 70, 142, 281

McArthur, Amy 176

man in a hole metaphor 282

Mandela, Nelson 159–60

Martell, Christopher 202

masochism 314

meditation 83

mind

and anger 340–6, 358

and anxiety 278–9, 288–90, 292–3

and depression 203–4, 209, 211–12, 227–34, 249–50

and drama 44–5, 123

evaluative 395

and identity 292

and storytelling 37–8, 182, 292, 340

at work 53–4, 172

Mind Judgement Dial 191–3

mind reading 340–4, 356, 373–5

mind tricks 227–34, 249–50, 288–90

mindfulness, and self-esteem 424–5

‘mindy’ 244

Mitchell, Gordon 176

muscles 190, 264, 334, 352

music 61, 241

musical instrument, learning a 143–4, 446

Neff, Kristen 424

neuroticism 274

neurotransmitters 202

New Year’s resolutions 441

Noticing That You Are Noticing 92–3, 247

Noticing, Watching, Observing 94–5

Observing Self 91–5, 98, 102, 108, 132, 154, 209, 332, 352–3, 373

and self-esteem 402, 435

obsessive–compulsive disorder 263–4, 272

Openness Dial 68–9, 281, 361

pain, ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’ 61–2, 117–18, 130, 348

panic attacks 9, 262, 314, 320

panic disorder 263, 272

parenting, and depression 200–1, 217–18

parties 58–60, 98–9, 120

Passengers on the Bus metaphor 417–20, 427–8

paying attention 76–80

Peak Moments 164–9, 171, 184

Peanuts 204

penalty shots 39–40

perfectionism 201, 207, 267–8

persistence 185–6, 188, 328

flexible 437, 443

perspective-taking 90, 99–117, 121–2, 319, 332, 353, 400

‘catastrophe perspective’ 101–3, 450

and values 153–4, 156–7

Philips, Emo 39

phobias 263–4

Pitt, Brad 389

‘playing it safe’ 403, 407–8

playing small 149

pleasing others 427–9

post-traumatic stress disorder 263–4

poverty 202

preoccupation with order and control 268

procrastination 198, 207, 282, 445

proud moments 33

public speaking 37–8

purpose

committed action 182–4, 189–91

and goals 145–8

Purpose Dial 191–3

QI 196

quotas 442

redundancy 21–2, 102, 109, 205–6, 220

relapses and frustration 443–4

relationships, and values 137–8, 314

responsibility 231–2, 307, 378

routines 212–13, 268

rules 151–3, 294, 313, 397, 402

rumination 198–9, 201, 207–8, 244–7, 266–8, 270, 282, 308–11, 313

running 14, 65

Ryff, Carol D. 140

sadness see depression

sailing 178, 432

Seinfeld, Jerry 188

self-awareness, and choice 82

self-compassion 117, 119–21, 189, 235–9, 329, 377–9, 386, 388

developing 424–6

self-criticism 120, 235, 250, 267, 271, 296, 378

and self-esteem 391–5

self-esteem 389–435

and assertiveness 429–32

and flexibility 433–5

and rules 397–9, 402

and self-acceptance 424–6

and willingness 423–4

and workability 411–12

self-forgiveness 388

self-indulgence 120

self-soothing 240–2

senses 209, 241

sex 61, 198, 207

shame 242–3, 251, 349, 366

singing 55, 358

Skinner, B. F. 440

sleeping 9, 198, 212, 214

social anxiety 262, 270

social deprivation 202

Socrates and the Road to Athens 99–100

Spurgeon, Charles H., 259

stress, and depression 200–2

stress hormones 263

success, definition of 447–8

sweating 263–4

swimming 65

Team of Advisers 111–17, 236–9, 302, 319, 377

television watching 23–4, 61, 73, 123, 199, 206–7, 214, 251

thalamus 261

theatre 109–10, 404–5

Thich Nhat Hanh 389

thinking, distinguished from awareness 77

Thinking Self 91–5, 104, 108, 126, 154, 209, 352–3, 373, 439

and self-esteem 399–400

Thought Bingo 42–4, 94

thoughts 34–56

anger thoughts 334, 339–40, 356

and Aware skills 80–2

and defusion 50–1, 132

experimenting with 54–6

and fusion 46–9, 123, 421–2

and observer perspective 91–3

positive 49–50

and rebound effect 41

as tools 38–9

see also rumination

Three-Step Breathing Space 87–8, 96–7, 247

Tour de France 434

tremors 263

Turner, Glenn 259

Up 138

urges 73–4

anger urges 335, 356, 379–80

values 136–95

acting on 175–95

and anger 368, 370–1

and avoidance 314

construction of 142, 153

and depression 208, 211, 221–5, 229, 235, 252, 258

and failure 447–8

feeling and doing 190–1

five-year perspective on 138–9

and goals 143–9, 182–3, 186–9

and guiding stars 163

metaphors 178–80

and personal choice 149–51, 170–2

and perspectives 153–4, 156–7

and pleasure 140–1

and purpose 182–4, 189–93

and recharging 177–8

and relationships 137–8

and ripple effect 176–7

and rules 151–3, 399

and self-esteem 402–3

trying out 161–2

video gaming 177

vigilance 35–6, 291

vitality 136–7

Watching the Clouds in the Sky 298–9, 313

will power 439–40, 443

Wilson, Kelly 399

worry see anxiety

worrying about worrying 265–6, 295

Writing about Worry 300–1

Your Best Friend 158

Your Eightieth Birthday 154–6

Your Heroes and People You Admire 159–61, 319

Zappa, Frank 436

zombies 58, 211, 303, 315