As far as a last day of freedom went, this one had been pretty shit, thought Jared, as he fiddled with the straw in his glass. For a start, there’d been a bunch of loose ends to tie up at work, which was probably a full day of work in itself, but on top of that, Jamie had him running all over town like a blue-arse fly, doing last-minute wedding errands. At home, she’d nearly bitten his head off. Apparently, the vintage hire car company had called him a week ago to confirm the booking but he’d never rung back. ‘Thankfully, they rang me this morning to double-check.’ She’d thrown up her hands. ‘It’s the one thing I asked you to take care of. One thing! I know you’ve got a lot to finish up at work, but I need you to snap out of that and put your head in the game.’
She was right. His head wasn’t in the game. But it wasn’t because of work. There was something else he needed to do before the wedding, and it had nothing to do with vintage hire cars.
‘Thanks for meeting me.’ Jared’s fingers shook and he dropped the straw back into the ice. Christ, he was nervous.
‘I have to admit, it does seem an odd thing to do the night before your wedding.’ Melissa smiled, took a sip of her gin and tonic and looked out the window to the city lights below. ‘But I’m glad I came. It’s really beautiful.’
Not as beautiful as you.
‘You should see the view from my room,’ he joked and Melissa punched him lightly in the arm.
‘I’m not going anywhere near your room.’
The bar Jared had suggested was on the top floor of the hotel where he was staying with his best man for the night. Overlooking the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House, there were no better views in Sydney. Below, ferries with strings of fairy-lights chugged across the water and in the west were the remnants of the sunset, fading out to violet and indigo.
‘I know. I probably should be out at a club or something, enjoying my last night of freedom.’ Jared took a paper serviette off the bar and started scrunching it. ‘But I had to see you. To apologise.’ He went on, now breaking the serviette into small pieces. ‘I was such a dick when we broke up.’
Melissa nodded. ‘You were.’
Jared grinned. ‘I was.’ He paused and looked up, the smile fading as he gazed into her soft, hazel eyes. ‘But I think I’ve realised that I was scared.’
Melissa sighed. ‘I think you were too. And so was I,’ she added.
‘Yeah, of course.’ She ran her hand across her headscarf. ‘I mean, I was only twenty-six, and pregnant, and we weren’t married. And then to lose the pregnancy. It was all a bit of a mess.’
‘But I was older. I mean, I was thirty, for crying out loud. I should have known better.’
‘You were a young thirty.’ She smiled and looked out the window. The bar was starting to fill now with corporate-types in greys and black and within an hour it would be chock-full of suits celebrating the arrival of the weekend. In her floral dress with its large swirls of pink and green, Melissa was a breath of fresh air.
‘I was so in love with you.’ Jared touched her knee. ‘I don’t think I’ve loved anyone the way I loved you.’
When he’d heard her voice on the phone, it had been like a jolt, taking him straight back to the past. Suddenly, he remembered. He remembered everything. The softness of her hair, the gentle roundness of her body, the smoothness of her skin and the musicality of her laugh. That she had agreed to meet for a drink was a surprise and he still couldn’t quite believe she was here in front of him.
‘Why are we here, Jared?’ Melissa frowned. ‘I’ve moved on, and you clearly have too. Gosh, you’re getting married tomorrow. What’s the point of all this? Things worked out the way they did for a reason. It just wasn’t meant to be.’
‘The baby, you mean?’
‘I mean everything. Our timing was just off.’
‘Was that all it was? Off timing?’
Melissa groaned. ‘Oh, Jared, I don’t know. And I don’t think it matters. All I know is you can’t go back.’
‘I should probably go.’ Melissa reached for her handbag and Jared watched her, feeling as if his past was a train pulling out of the station and taking him to a place he did not want to go—a place where he would never see Melissa again.
‘Please, don’t.’ He reached for her arm but somehow his hand managed to connect with her bottom, which caused her to jump and fling her hand across the top of the bar, sending both their drinks flying.
Within seconds a waiter arrived to mop up the mess and provide reams of paper towel for Jared and Melissa to dry off.
She laughed out loud, a sweet sound that sliced through the din of the bar.
‘Oh my goodness,’ she giggled. ‘You look like you’ve wet yourself.’
He looked at her, smiling at him widely and warmly and in a way that made him want to kiss her.
Suddenly, Jared understood. He didn’t love Jamie in the way he’d loved Melissa, which was instinctual and impossible to repress. The way he felt about Jamie was more clinical—their being together was so right, on paper. Their compatibility was through the roof. The relationship made rational sense and after several years of dating in your thirties, marriage was the logical next step. It was what people did and it was what Jared wanted because he was restless. He wanted to know what came next in life and he didn’t want to get left behind.
But they weren’t the right reasons to marry.
Jamie deserved more. She deserved to be loved in the way he’d loved Melissa, at least the way he’d loved her until she fell pregnant.
Jared looked at his sodden pants. ‘Oh man, I’m going to have to change.’
Melissa’s giggle tapered off. ‘And I really should go. Gavin’s expecting me.’
‘Your fiancé?’
‘Yes.’
‘When’s the wedding?’
‘We haven’t set a date yet.’ She dipped her head in slight embarrassment. ‘We’re still saving.’
‘Congratulations,’ he said sincerely. ‘He’s a lucky guy.’
‘I know,’ she said with a wry smile. ‘He knows I’m one in a million.’
They both stood. ‘You are.’ Jared leant in and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Thank you for coming.’
Melissa stood back and looked at him. ‘I’m not sure it’s helped you any.’
It has in ways you’ ll never know.
Together, they walked towards the lift, and as the doors closed on Melissa’s smiling and beautiful face, Jared had the strong sense that he knew exactly what he had to do.
He pulled out his phone to text his best man, Roger, a mate from school. They were due to meet in half an hour for a ‘last supper’.
Mate. Not feeling the best so I’m going to have to cancel on dinner and the rest. See you in the morning.
Roger’s reply was quick.
Geez you’re a soft cock! But who am I to argue with the groom. Later, dude.
Jared pressed again for the lift and scrolled through his contacts to ‘J’. How was he going to do this? Not over the phone. He wasn’t that much of a prick. He could go home and see her face to face. Do it like a man. Only problem was that Lisa would be there. She was going over to keep Jamie company and watch some kind of lame movie. No. This had to be strictly between him and his fiancée.
Back in the room, Jared started pacing.
Eventually, he stopped at the desk. There was a pen and paper. He could write a letter. That might be okay. Kind of old-fashioned. Add a bit of sweetness to what would otherwise be a bitter pill to swallow. But how would he get it to her? He started pacing again, up and down, and finally stopped at the window.
Ben.
Ben would be arriving at the hotel early in the morning to collect Jared and Roger for the wedding ceremony (he was the only guy Jamie would trust to act as chauffeur). He was the man for the job. The way he’d talked the other night at dinner, any fool could tell he had feelings for Jamie that went beyond the strictly professional. He could deliver the letter and provide a shoulder for Jamie to cry on.
Jared started writing.