Lelani
It was close to noon by the time Lelani’s dad showed up at the appointed spot on the beach not far from their home. It was a place that she and her dad had claimed as their own when Lelani first began surfing. They had even constructed a palm-branch shelter that her dad reinforced at regular intervals. Naturally, it was gone now. But the memories still lingered, and Lelani marveled at how much her dad had changed over the past few years, how he had hardened. He didn’t even surf anymore.
Lelani had been waiting on the beach long enough to get extremely anxious, which eventually reminded her to pray. But all she could pray was for God to have his way, and for Emma to end up in the place that was best for her. Even if that wasn’t with Lelani.
“Sorry to make you wait,” he said when he joined her. “Something came up.”
The way he said something told Lelani it was her mother that had come up. Had she figured out where he was sneaking off to? Did she suspect he was talking to his daughter? Lelani glanced nervously down the beach toward the house.
“I think it’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry to put you in this position, Dad,” she began carefully. “And before we get into this, I want to say to you what I said to Mother yesterday. I am really appreciative of how you’ve cared for Emma. I’m sorry that I was unable to do more for her after she was born. So much was happening then. And when Mother hired a nanny and separated me from Emma, well, I did get pretty depressed.”
“I know.”
Lelani took a deep breath. “I wish I’d had the strength to have taken Emma then, but I was confused and, like Mother said, I had no way to care for a child. I could barely care for myself. And I knew that I would be cut off if I didn’t leave and so—”
“Cut off?” His voice was tinged in anger.
“Just financially,” Lelani added. “I knew that I didn’t deserve to go back to college and, in the state that I was in, I didn’t even think I was capable of going back. I felt guilty and sad, and I knew that I’d squandered your money—”
“I never said anything like that!”
“Maybe not in words, but Mother did. I could see the disappointment in your eyes.”
“Sure, I was disappointed. And I was sad. But I never planned to cut you off, Lelani. Not financially or any other way.” He looked directly into her eyes now. “You must know that.”
She bit her lip.
“You do know that, don’t you?”
“All I know is what my mother told me. You weren’t really around much at the time, Daddy.”
“I know. It was a pretty uncomfortable time. Your mother was very unhappy.”
“And ashamed. I know she was terribly ashamed. And so were you.”
“At first. But good grief, you’re not the first girl to have a baby outside of marriage, and you won’t be the last. I got over it.”
“Really?”
“It wasn’t so easy for your mother. You know how she is. She puts such great stock in … you know, certain things.”
“Like appearances.”
He nodded.
“Anyway, Daddy, I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I never really told you that before. But I want you to know that I am. And I hope you can forgive me someday.”
“I already do forgive you, Lelani.”
“Thank you.”
“But, as you know, your mother hasn’t.”
“I know.”
“So where does this leave us?”
“Well, as you know, I am not willing to give up my daughter. I love her dearly, Daddy, and I will fight for her. I have an attorney. I am gathering what I’ll need to go to court.”
He looked shocked now.
“Didn’t Mother tell you this?”
He shook his head. “She said that you’re crazy and that you planned to bring more shame on us and that you’d probably be out camping on the beach.”
“She said that?” Lelani rubbed a hand over her forehead and then wondered why that should surprise her.
“Words to that effect.”
“Well, I’m not crazy. But I am driven. I love Emma and I know that I can be a good mother to her. I know that I need to remain in Maui until the court date.”
“Court date?”
“For Emma’s custody. Clara Chan is handling my case.”
“Clara?”
“Yes. She’s wonderful.”
“She’s a good woman.”
“She said you were a good man. In fact, she encouraged me to speak to you.”
“But why do you need to do this? Why do you need to go to court? Why make this into such an ugly thing when all we’ve done is to care for your child until you were able—”
“Until I was able?” Lelani stared at him. “Is that what you truly believe?”
“That’s what I agreed to.”
“Until I was able …” Lelani considered this. “And who is supposed to determine if I am able, Daddy?”
He shrugged. “Well, you, I suppose.”
“I am able.”
He looked at her and nodded. “I believe you.”
“So why can’t I have my child?”
He shrugged again.
“Because of my mother.”
He said nothing, just drew a line in the sand, making it deeper and deeper.
“Because my mother has turned this into a power game, and she plans to win.”
“She is a strong woman.”
“But is she motivated by love, Daddy? Does she really love Emma?”
“Yes, of course she does.”
“But I’ve been here a week. I’ve sneaked into Emma’s nursery over and over again. I’ve played with her and aggravated Ginger. But is Mother ever with Emma?”
“She spends some time with Emma.”
“When? Do you see her?”
“No, but I go to work. And then there’s Ginger. Emma is well cared for, Lelani. You can see that, can’t you?”
“But I love her, Daddy. She’s my baby. And I really love her.”
“I know you do. I can see that. But, think about this, Lelani. If you have Emma, you’ll be forced to work to support her. Who will care for her then? Not you.”
Lelani pondered this.
“So, really, what difference would it make? At least Emma has stability here. She’s not going to some dirty day-care center, staying among strangers.”
“Do you think I’d let anyone watch her that I didn’t know and trust?”
“I’m just saying.”
“And I’m saying that I can take care of her. She is my daughter. If you and Mother stand in my way, we will let the court decide. I can’t promise that it won’t get ugly.”
“Is that a threat?”
“No, of course not.” Lelani looked into his eyes again. “You know what would make me happier than anything, Daddy?”
“To have your daughter.”
“No. To have my family. I love you, Daddy. I have missed you severely. Not just in the last year, but for years now.”
He smiled faintly. “I’ve missed you too.”
“I would love to be able to bring Emma here to visit her grandparents. I would love it if you and I could teach her to surf together.”
“I would love that too.”
“Because Emma will need a grandfather.”
He nodded. “I’d like to be a grandfather.”
“More than a father?”
He ran his fingers through his graying hair. “To be honest, yes. I had never dreamed that at this stage of life, your mother and I would be parenting a young child. It wasn’t anything I wanted, Lelani. I’m too old to go through this again. Once was enough for me. But for Emma to come visit, well, that’s different.”
“So, do we agree?”
He shrugged. “Not that it matters.”
“Because of my mother.”
“You know how she can be.”
“But what if we both stood up to her—together—and we convinced her that this is not only in Emma’s best interest, but everyone’s. Wouldn’t she get that?”
He sighed. “You know your mother as well as I do.”
“Yes. But does that mean that she must always get her way? I know you love her, Daddy. And I’m sure you’d do anything for her. Right?”
“Of course.”
“How about me? Do you love me too?”
“You know I do.”
“And Emma?”
“Yes, of course.”
“But you’re willing to hurt me—and Emma—just to placate your wife.”
He didn’t say anything, but he slowly stood and Lelani wondered if she had crossed the line. What she said was true—there were certain truths that her dad refused to face. Especially those related to his wife.
Lelani continued to sit on the beach, watching as her father walked away. For the first time since coming back, she noticed how old he looked. Not only was his hair thinning and gray, but his shoulders were slumped and his step was slower. He was aging fast. Perhaps that was just one more reason he didn’t have much fight in him. Or maybe it was just that old habits were hard to break.
Lelani sat there until her dad was out of sight. He had probably sneaked back into the house, slumped into his favorite recliner, and turned on his big-screen TV, which was always tuned to ESPN. Really, why had she expected anything more? At least she had tried. And she had warned him. He knew what to expect, and that she wouldn’t back down.
As Lelani walked back to the house, the image of her dad slowly moving down the beach still played in her mind. She was glad she had witnessed that—it only fanned her desire to get Emma away. Her dad had enough stress with his demanding wife. Why add a child to the mix? And how about when Emma became a teenager and decided to rebel? What if her father—like his father—died young, maybe as a result from the stress, and Emma was left alone with her grandmother? It was a formula for dysfunction.
“Lelani,” called Gil as he ran toward her. “Hurry!”
“What’s wrong?” Lelani began to run. “Is it Emma?”
“No,” he huffed. “It’s your parents.”
“My parents?”
“They’re having a huge fight.”
Lelani was barely on the grounds when she heard their voices coming from the pool area.
“Shut up, you old fool!” screamed her mother.
“No, I will not shut up,” he yelled back. “You will listen to me!”
“I knew this would happen. My own daughter has turned you against me!”
“No!” Lelani yelled as she stepped onto the pool deck opposite their face-off. “Daddy loves you more than anyone, Mother. He would do anything for you. No one could turn him against you. It’s impossible.”
Her dad turned and looked at Lelani with a sad expression. “But it is possible to love my wife and my daughter and my granddaughter. That is possible.”
“What are you saying?” demanded Lelani’s mother.
“I’m saying that Lelani is Kala’s—I mean Emma’s mother, and a daughter should be with her mother. And a mother should love her daughter. Daughters need their mother’s love.”
“Meaning I don’t love Lelani?”
Now everyone got silent. Even the birds seemed to be holding their breaths. Lelani wondered if Gil had gone into the guesthouse to avoid all this. Who could blame him?
“That’s what you think, isn’t it, Lelani?” she persisted. “You think I don’t love you. And that’s what you told your father.”
“No.” Lelani held out her hands. “I do think you love me, Mother, in your own way. Because I don’t understand how any mother could possibly not feel a slight bit of affection for her own child. But I also think, if you do love me, you’ll let me have my daughter. So that I can love her the way only a mother can.”
Lelani’s mother’s hands were clenched into tight fists as she stood there glaring across the pool.
“I’m too old to be a father to a little girl,” said her dad sadly. “Emma deserves better.”
“Define better,” snapped Lelani’s mother. “Having an unemployed single mother who lives in a rented room and doesn’t even have a car—is that better? And don’t you think an old father is better than no father? Really, Lelani, if you love your child, why would you put her in—”
“Emma could have a father.” Gil emerged from the shadows. “If your daughter would marry me, I would gladly be Emma’s father. If you’re worried about money, don’t. I am perfectly capable of supporting a wife and child. I’ve been in love with your daughter since the moment I met her eight months ago. And I’ve watched her be tortured by what this has done to her, being denied her own child. Not only that, but denied your love as well. I am usually a patient man, but I am just about fed up!”
Lelani’s dad actually smiled now. He walked over to where Gil was standing and extended his hand. Gil greeted him. But Lelani was speechless. Had Gil just proposed to her, right there in front of her parents? Or was he simply trying to help her?
“Now, hear this!” her father boomed across the pool. “As the man of this house—which I am—I officially declare that this thing is over. Lelani is Emma’s mother. And she has my blessing to take her child.” He pointed over to where Ginger was lurking in the shadows by the back door. Lelani was relieved that Emma wasn’t with her to witness the fireworks. “Ginger, as your boss—and don’t forget who pays the bills around here—you are to help Lelani gather up whatever it is she needs for Emma, enough for the time being. The rest will be sent to her later.” He turned to his wife. “Is that understood?”
She glared at him, spun around, and marched back into the house.
“She’ll get over it,” her dad assured them. “A little jewelry, trip to Europe, whatever it takes, she will get over it.”
Lelani ran over and threw her arms around him. “Thank you, Daddy! Thank you! Thank you!”
“And before you go, I want to talk to you—about your unfinished education.”
Lelani felt her hopes surge.
“I always wanted a doctor in the family, Lelani. Please, don’t give up that dream.”
“I haven’t, Daddy. I just got derailed. That’s all.”
Now he shook Gil’s hand again. “I won’t hold either of you to what you said out here, son, but I will admit that it gave Alana one less argument.”
Gil glanced nervously at Lelani.
“We can sort that out later,” she said quietly.
“In the meantime, what are you waiting for?” asked her dad. “Go and get your daughter.”
“I will.” Lelani was already on her way.
“And tell Ginger that she has two weeks of severance pay, but she better start looking for another job.”
Lelani found Ginger in the nursery, quietly packing a diaper bag. Emma was sweetly sleeping in her crib.
“Ginger?” Lelani went over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I want you to know how much I appreciate you taking care of my daughter. You’ve done a good job.”
Ginger stood and looked at Lelani with tears in her eyes. “I did my best.”
“I know you did. And you will never know how much I appreciate it.”
She nodded as she stuffed another diaper into the bag. “You know the truth?”
“What’s that?”
“I’m glad she’s going to be with you.”
“Thank you.” Lelani hugged her now. “My dad is going to give you two weeks’ severance pay. And I’m sure he’ll write you a letter of recommendation too.”
“Thank you.”
Emma woke up and Lelani lifted her out of the crib, holding her warm sweet body close to her. “You’re going home with Mommy,” she said quietly. Then she kissed the top of Emma’s head.
Ginger helped Lelani gather up a few more things that she thought Emma might need and even offered to carry them over to the guesthouse. As they walked over, Ginger quietly confessed that Mrs. Porter wasn’t the easiest woman in the world to work for. Lelani thought that was an understatement, but she simply smiled, then thanked Ginger again.
“Good luck.” Ginger reached over and patted Emma’s head.
Gil and Emma and Lelani stood together in the front room of the guesthouse. “Can you believe it?” she asked him.
“I’m still pretty stunned.”
“I’ve never loved my dad more than I do today.”
“That took some nerve.”
Lelani looked at Gil and shook her head. “And that took some nerve for you to leap out and say what you did.”
“I mean it, Lelani, every word. I can’t imagine you’d be surprised. You know I love you. You know I’d marry you in a minute if you’d just say yes.”
With Emma between them, they kissed. And Lelani said, “Yes.”