– 30 –
Brett wanted nothing more than to pull Dani into his arms again. To kiss her lovely lips. To make her his own. Taking a deep breath, he struggled against his desire.
Only one option remained.
“Good night,” he whispered, then quickly walked out the door. Once outside, he paused on the concrete slab serving as a porch and took several more deep breaths.
What had he done?
Why had he done it?
Digging his keys from his pocket, he strode to the Lexus. A few seconds later, he’d driven through the gate. When he got out of the car to close it behind him, he looked toward the cottage.
What must she be thinking?
He considered returning, to apologize, to make some attempt at an explanation. But he didn’t dare. She was too vulnerable, too alluring, and he was too . . . well, it had been about three months since he’d kicked Tracie out of his life.
Once again, remorse smacked him for how he’d treated his former receptionist. The unexpected pang clutched at his chest.
After latching the gate, he slid back into his car and drove the half mile to AJ’s bungalow. The house where Gran had lived out her last days before her death.
The outside light shone above the porch, but AJ’s Jeep wasn’t in the driveway. It didn’t take a genius to know where he was. On a Wednesday night, he’d be at church. And after that, a couple miles over as the crow flies with Shelby and her daughters.
Fortunately, Brett knew where to find the spare key. He let himself in, turning on a few lights as he headed for the kitchen. After grabbing a sports drink, the only thing AJ had in the fridge besides a quart of milk, he unscrewed the bottle’s cap and walked out to the screened porch. He plopped onto the rattan settee and took a long drink.
Though Glade Creek couldn’t be seen from here, the night creatures inhabiting it could definitely be heard. The deep croaks of bullfrogs interspersed with other sounds he couldn’t identify. A whippoorwill crooned its lonely call.
He closed his eyes, wanting to hold on to the memory of Dani in his arms, the tenderness of her mouth, the softness of her skin beneath his fingertips. As if in a dream, her image blurred and it was Meghan he was kissing, not from desire but from conquest.
He’d taken her from AJ, and at that time, nothing else mattered.
Disgust filled his gut, and he retched after hurrying to the restroom. The vomit burned his throat as it spilled into the toilet bowl.
He was rinsing his mouth when the front door opened.
“Brett?” AJ called. “Where are you?”
He rinsed again, then wiped his mouth with a towel. “Coming.”
They met in the living room.
“What are you doing here?” AJ took off his OSU ball cap and tousled his smashed-down hair. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. Hope you don’t mind I came on in.”
“Not at all. Just surprised to see you.”
“A little surprised to be here.”
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” Brett pressed his lips together and swallowed the lump clogging his throat. “Things don’t . . . I’m not . . .”
“Did something happen to Amy?” Concern squeezed AJ’s voice.
“She’s . . . Amy.”
“Is it Jonah?” The concern plummeted into panic.
Brett almost shook his head again, but Meghan’s image stopped him.
“Why did you do it, AJ?”
“Do what?”
“Find Meghan. Why did you go looking for her?”
AJ blew out a breath and passed his hand over his eyes. “You’ll think I’m crazy.”
“Try me.”
“God told me to.”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly. You want something to drink?”
Brett passed his hand over his chest and abdomen. “I’m fine, thanks.”
“Then let’s sit down.” AJ led the way to the porch, and they settled into the cushioned chairs. The only light came from inside the house.
AJ hung his cap on his knee, an odd, almost awe-filled expression on his face. “This may sound crazy.”
“I want to know.”
He paused a moment, searching for the right words. “Somehow I knew I could never be the man I needed to be for Shelby if I didn’t make amends with Meghan. So I did an online search, got a lead, and, well, you know the rest.”
“So you made a deal with God?”
“It wasn’t quite like that. I didn’t know how things would work out with Shelby. There were no guarantees.”
“But God told you to find Meghan?”
“He did.”
“You heard his voice?”
“Not like I hear you. It was more like a strong impression. A . . . a whisper into my soul,” AJ said softly. “Sometimes I wish I hadn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Maybe it would have been better if we hadn’t known about Jonah. The truth, I mean.”
Brett rolled the thought around in his mind, twisting it into different shapes, viewing it from different angles. “I needed to know. And so did you. Besides, if you hadn’t found him when you did, he might be . . .” He couldn’t finish the sentence, though he admitted its melodrama. Because of AJ, Jonah was getting the best possible care, but even that hadn’t been enough to bring him out of his coma.
“It’s changed things, you know,” Brett said.
“What things?”
“It’s changed me. I knew Meghan was pregnant when she left. Even suspected she lied to you. But I never dreamed she’d go through with the pregnancy.” In the dim light of the porch, surrounded by the night’s darkness, he felt safe talking about things he never could have said in the daytime. Not even to AJ. “Knowing about Jonah, knowing I have a son, makes me want to be someone better than I am. For his sake.”
“I understand that. I feel that way about Elizabeth and Tabby, and they aren’t even mine.”
“But they will be. You’ll be the dad they remember. The man who walks them down the aisle someday.”
“Don’t even talk about that. My heart can’t take it.”
Brett chuckled, then turned serious again. “I was over at Dani’s a little while ago.”
“Has she settled in?”
“Looks that way. She was going to watch a DVD on Ohio history this evening. Research.”
“Do you really think she’s got the experience for a job like this?”
“Maybe not, but she has the passion. Why? Has Shelby said something?”
“Shelby enjoys her company. They get along great.”
“I’m glad.” Even with the poor lighting, Brett sensed AJ’s eyes upon him. “What are you thinking?”
“You really want to know?” AJ asked.
“Don’t tell me she’s not my type.”
“I wasn’t going to. But she could be if you let her.”
“She’s just a girl. A nice girl.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Me.” Brett leaned forward, elbows on knees, and bowed his head. “I’m what’s wrong.”
“What did you do?”
“I . . . kissed her.”
“Like a”—AJ made a smooching sound—“kiss?”
Brett glowered, then shook his head. “Never do that again.”
“More than that, huh?”
“Let’s just say it was a substantial kiss.”
“I don’t think I want to hear any more.”
“No more to tell. I kissed her and then I left.”
“Without saying anything?”
“I said good-bye.”
“Brilliant.”
“I think she was crying.”
“And you left her?”
“I couldn’t stay. There’s something about her that . . . I couldn’t stay.”
For several minutes, they listened to the nocturnal symphonies. Once again, the ethereal whippoorwill sang its three-noted melody. Another one, further away, answered the lonely call.
“What are you going to do?” AJ asked quietly.
Brett shrugged. “Can you believe it? For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do with the women in my life.”
“Women?”
“Dani. Amy. Meghan.”
“Didn’t you just meet Dani?”
“Four weeks day after tomorrow.” Since the Labor Day picnic at Misty Willow, he’d spent as much time with her as he dared allow himself. It seemed he could barely go twenty-four hours without calling or texting her. He’d given up his sham of a dating sabbatical.
His life made no sense.
“Do you love her?”
“It’s too soon for that. Isn’t it?”
“Don’t ask me. I think I fell in love with Shelby before I even met her.”
“Because of the letter she wrote you?”
“Yeah.”
“How did you know for sure? That you loved her?”
AJ thought a moment, then said quietly, “I couldn’t breathe without her.”
Brett rested his head against the back of the chair. He could breathe just fine on his own. But Dani drew him to her again and again without even trying. And when he was with her, he was more his true self than at any other time. No expectations to meet. No pretense.
No games.
Just a slip of a girl winding his heart around her finger. And totally oblivious to what she was doing. “It’s confounding, isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
“Maybe God is telling me the same thing he told you.”
“You mean . . .”
“I have to make things right with Meghan. If I don’t, I’ll never . . .” He stopped and took a deep breath. “I’ll never make it with anyone.”
When Brett closed the door behind him, Dani rushed to the window. She peered through the crack between the blind and the window as he slid into his car. When he got out to shut the gate and looked toward the cottage, she backed away from the window.
If she needed any more proof that her middle name was “loser,” this was it. Her face flamed as she relived her eagerness to accept his embrace. What must he think of her?
Even worse, what would have happened if he hadn’t pulled away?
She curled up in a corner of the couch and hugged a pillow to her chest as she fought back hot tears. If things had continued, he’d have discovered her inexperience. Though he’d teased her about being a “nice” girl, he probably had no idea how right he was.
Never before had she been so tempted to break her resolve to wait for Mr. Right. A promise she’d made to herself after spending too many hours consoling lovesick girlfriends who had been dumped by love ’em and leave ’em idiots. Immature jerks who boasted about their conquests and gave no thought to the wreckage left behind.
Agonizing pain struck the side of her head.
Brett was no different.
She knew it. To the depths of her heart she knew it.
If he hadn’t left, and she hadn’t gotten control of herself, she was sure her story would be the same. One night of romance, then he’d have walked out of her life.
But he’d done that anyway.
If only she’d pushed him away first. Next time she would, holding on to her resolve no matter how difficult it might be.
Except there wouldn’t be a next time. His brusque departure made that clear.
The pain in her head increased. Hopefully AJ had left something in his medicine cabinet. Finding ibuprofen, she downed a couple, then washed up the supper dishes.
As she was turning off the kitchen lights, her phone buzzed. A text message. She closed her eyes before looking at the screen.
Shelby.
She should have known it wouldn’t have been Brett.
Via text, they agreed on a time to meet the next day, then Dani headed to the bedroom. She settled beneath the covers and gingerly laid her head on the thick pillow. Hopefully her headache would be gone by morning.
But what about the ache in her heart?
Brett returned home after a detour to the hospital, where a clear green light shone from Jonah’s window. He took a glass of iced tea to his bedroom and set it on top of a mahogany nightstand along with his phone and wallet. He started to sit on the bed to take off his shoes, but something drew him to the ebony box on top of his dresser. The rings, the amethyst and the diamond solitaire, were nestled inside.
He sat on the edge of the bed, opened the lid, and picked up Tracie’s ring.
Or was it?
She’d probably bought it with his money, impatient for him to buy a ring for her. But that had never been part of his plan.
Still clutching the ring, he leaned against the headboard, stretching his legs along the comforter and crossing his ankles. Tonight’s events played in his mind, from the argument with Amy to the rare heart-to-heart with AJ. And in between, the refuge of Dani’s company. Until he lost control.
How was he going to make things right with her?
He stared at the ring, angling the diamond chips surrounding the stone to catch the light from the nearby lamp. AJ believed, actually believed, God told him to make things right with Meghan. But that was what Brett had been trying to do since he’d learned of Jonah’s existence.
Anything he did for her, for Jonah, had to be done in secret because she refused to forgive him.
Somehow, by staring into the depths of the amethyst stone, he confronted what was expected of him.
He tried to resist the message pressing against his spirit. It demanded too much of him, and Tracie would never understand.
But the impression persisted. He needed to apologize to Tracie, for his sake as much as hers.
And then what? Apologize to every woman he’d ever dated? He couldn’t think about that right now.
He put the amethyst ring back in the box and took the solitaire from its case, then angled the fine diamond in the lamplight. Dani had been intrigued with the ring and its story. Sully, the returning war veteran, had loved Aubrey then lost her. The anger he harbored found its revenge decades later when he took over the mortgage on Misty Willow. The grab had probably been illegal, but Aubrey’s husband had died in a horrible accident before he could save the farm. Stricken with grief, Aubrey died soon after.
The repercussions from those long-ago events echoed through the years. Decisions made. Vengeance executed. Hearts broken.
If only Sully could have foreseen the misery unleashed by his rage. Perhaps things would have been different.
Even in the meager lamplight, the diamond—a symbol of lost love, of spurned love—sparked its mesmerizing fire.
“Why did Sully hold on to you,” Brett murmured, “when all you meant to him was pain?”