“Mama, you had a sleepover!” Ryan’s words penetrated Julia’s haze and she slowly opened her eyes.
“What, honey?” She lifted her head and realized her body was wrapped in warm, strong arms. His arms. Oh my God. I fell asleep on him?
The world came into view, with bright sunlight flooding into the room. Their picnic blanket remained on the floor, and there on the couch was Maverick, by her side, holding her all night.
He stirred to life, wiping his eyes. “Hey, little man,” he said, his deep, sexy voice warming her insides.
“You had a sleepover with Mama. She never lets me have one,” Ryan huffed and crossed his arms.
“We didn’t have a sleepover.” She sat up and willed her brain to focus. To somehow explain this situation to her son. But how, when she couldn’t even explain it to herself?
Ryan huffed. “You slept. It’s morning. That’s a sleepover.”
She looked to Maverick and whispered, “Help.”
“He has a point,” he murmured. “You fell asleep next to me, and it is morning.” He winked—a playful, I’m-hot-and-I-know-it wink.
It was too early, and she needed coffee before she could properly deal with this. “Fine, but it wasn’t meant to be a sleepover. Mama was tired from working and she fell asleep watching a movie. Mr. Maverick must’ve fallen asleep, too.” She looked at Maverick. The man she’d slept next to last night. A man that wasn’t her husband. Guilt pounded at her like a printing press, smashing in thoughts of betrayal repeatedly until it was stamped on her heart.
She stood up a bit too quickly and teetered.
“Hey, you okay?” Maverick touched her upper arm, only a light sentiment but the ink mark on her heart faded to bearable.
She nodded. “I’ll get you some breakfast. Want coffee?”
“I’d love some,” he said. But before she could even limp to the kitchen, he was in his wheelchair and rolling through the other doorway. He snagged the coffee pot and began filling it with water.
“Oh, no! It’s already seven-thirty. Don’t you need to meet James?”
Maverick slid his phone from his pocket and swiped the screen. “Nope. Looks like he changed it to oh-nine-hundred. I have time.” Pouring the water into the coffee maker, he said, “Hey, I was thinking. You don’t have to work today, right?”
She pulled out a frying pan then retrieved some eggs from the fridge. “No. Saturday’s the one day I spend with Ryan. That and Sunday morning.”
He placed the coffee pot in the unit and flicked the switch on. “Would you two like to go to the site with me? I’d love the input of our future organizer.”
She tossed some butter in the frying pan. “I don’t mind but it’s up to Ryan. I don’t want him to be bored on our only day together.”
“I won’t be bored. Promise. I want to go.” Ryan opened the drawer, took out some forks, and then moved the stepstool over to the cabinet to retrieve plates and mugs.
Eggs sizzled and the rich aroma of coffee filled the room. “I guess we’re going then. I just need to change and freshen up first. I won’t be long.”
“We have time. Besides, doesn’t someone get a cupcake after breakfast?”
Ryan hopped off the stool, his eyes wide with anticipation. “Can I?”
She nodded and he took off to retrieve it from the living room.
Alone with Maverick, her hand trembled and she gripped the spatula tighter. “I can’t believe I fell asleep with food left on the table. I must’ve been exhausted. I usually can’t sleep until everything is put in its place.”
“I know what you mean. My drill sergeant ruined me for life. I was flipped out of my bunk once too many times during basic training that I never forget to tidy up before I go to sleep. I went into the military a slob and came out a neat freak.” Maverick swiveled around the kitchen like he belonged there, and she liked it. “Hey, you’re still favoring that ankle. I want to wrap it before you do any major walking today. Do you have a bandage?”
The thought of him touching her foot again heated her flesh. “I’ll be fine.”
“Still, I’d feel better if I at least took another look. If you don’t have a bandage, I’m sure James has some. We can wrap it when we get to his place.”
“That’s not necessary. I have some if we need it.” She set the plates on the table and Ryan dashed to the kitchen table. “Oh, I forgot. I need to pick up my work for tomorrow night from Cathy.”
Maverick poured a cup of coffee and handed it to her. His fingers grazed her knuckles and she imagined what it would be like to walk hand and hand with him.
It was strange to look down at a man. Her husband was several inches taller than her. Based on Maverick’s frame, she’d guessed he would’ve easily been six feet or taller. What was even stranger was that his lack of height didn’t make him seem any less manly.
She carried the frying pan to the table and slid a fried egg onto each plate. Before sitting down, she cupped Ryan’s face. He had icing smeared across his cheeks. “Eat up, munchkin. I don’t want to be late to meet Ms. Cathy. And eat a few bites of protein or you’ll be flying around the room until you crash and burn.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ryan grumbled despite the huge bite of cake in his mouth.
Maverick and Ryan chatted happily as they ate while Julia sipped her coffee, listening to their banter. The morning was full. Her home was full and her heart was full. But was this right? Henry, am I betraying you? Would you want Ryan and me to have a new family without you?
Maverick nudged her arm. “You okay?”
Julia inhaled the stale smell of confusion. “Just thinking.”
Maverick scooped the last bit of egg into his mouth then cleared his plate and took Ryan’s. “Why don’t you go brush those teeth, little man, and we’ll head out?”
Ryan took the last swig of milk. “Can we ride in your truck?”
“If that’s okay with your mom.”
“Um, sure.” She shook the haze from her head. “Wait. That would mean you’d have to drive us home again. I don’t want to put you out.”
“You’re not. I have to come back into town to meet a man about delivering the last bit of supplies to the site Monday morning anyway.”
“Woohoo!” Ryan yelled as he thundered up the stairs.
Quiet saturated the room. Maverick scooted in next to her and took her hand. “Listen, I know you’ve been through a lot. So have I. There hasn’t been a moment that I’ve even thought about a woman since I was discharged from the hospital. I struggled just to breathe the first few weeks, then to move, and to live. If what I’ve been doing is even living.” He gave her a weak smile. “According to James, I’ve only been surviving. The point is, there doesn’t have to be anything between us. We can be friends, partners on this project. I don’t want to create any more stress in your life. It’s obvious that you loved your husband, and based on that little angel you’ve got, he was a good man. He had to be to have you as his wife.” He sighed but squeezed her hand a little tighter. “I’m not great with words, but I wanted to let you know I expect nothing from you. I just want to offer my help anyway I can.”
She couldn’t think, not with his hands on hers. The warmth of his touch twisted her brain, squeezing the thoughts from her head. Not even her lungs received the message that she should breathe. Maverick Wilson, a gorgeous, sensitive, amazing man that loved her son, sat by her side holding her hands. God, what do I do? Henry, what would you want?
Maverick slid his hands from hers, but she grabbed them and held them tight. “No.” Her bottom lip quivered and she fought to control her shaking voice. “I don’t want you to replace Henry. No one could replace him.”
He nodded, but she knew he didn’t understand. She wouldn’t release his hands, wouldn’t release his promise, she wouldn’t release him. “But…” Tears swelled in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. Her entire body shook and his face filled with concern.
“But what?” His hand tugged free and his thumb brushed tears from her cheeks. “Talk to me. Tell me what I can do.”
“I don’t know. I’m struggling and… I know you can’t replace Henry. I’ve got to figure things out, but all I know is that I don’t want you to go. There’s something here, something I haven’t felt in a long time. Something I thought I’d never feel again. I don’t know if it’s just loneliness, having a person to fill the emptiness in my life, or if I really like you.” She couldn’t believe what she was saying, but she had to make him understand. “My heart’s not ready to know for sure. My first thought when I woke in your arms wasn’t of Henry and that scared me. There’s never been anyone but Henry since I was a teenager and I don’t know how to feel about that.” She brought her gaze up to meet his. “I can’t promise anything, except that I want you around. I understand if that’s not enough.”
He cupped her cheek. “It’s everything. It’s all I ask.”
She rested her forehead against his, breathed his air, felt his touch, embraced the moment.
Hearing footsteps rumble down the stairs, she pulled away before she was ready, wiped her tears, and busied herself with straightening the few remaining things out of place in the kitchen.
“Hey, little man,” Maverick said.
Ryan burst into the kitchen. “You ready to go?”
The emotion she could hear in his voice brought on a fresh wave of tears and she fought to keep them from spilling over. She’d kept so much bottled inside for so long, to be strong for Ryan. Why here? Why now? Life never happened the way she’d planned, but she knew it was time to make some changes, if for no other reason than for Ryan. No, for herself. “I’ll be right back. I need to change.”
As she fled the kitchen, Maverick put Ryan on his lap and twirled him around on his chair. Ryan’s giggles filled the house. She’d tried so hard to give him everything he needed, but when was the last time he’d laughed like that?
The third step, the one Henry had fixed right after they’d moved in, creaked underfoot. Sounds of her husband’s boisterous laugh still echoed, but the happiness had faded in their home. She entered the master bedroom and eyed their bed, his dresser, his clothes that still hung in the closet. How long would she hold on in the hope that he would return, knowing he never would. In the shower, she found his shampoo still in the corner where he’d left it. Getting dressed, she found his favorite slippers in the corner of the closet under the suit he had hated to wear. In the hallway, on her way back downstairs, were family photos, their bond eternally captured, never ageing. But in real life, she’d changed her hair and Ryan had grown, yet the home had remained in the past.
Ryan’s giggles traveled up the stairs and her heart ached. He deserved that, more happiness in his life. Was that her doing? Had she been holding onto the past, not allowing them to grow in life?
By the time she made it to the bottom of the stairs, she was no longer sure of what the future held, but she knew it was time to open the door.
“I’m ready,” she called, but Maverick was already bulleting through the hallway, Ryan’s arms around his neck.
He stopped by the front door and set Ryan down on his feet. “All right, little man. Let’s get to the site. After that, I need a shower.”
“You could—” As she turned to gesture to the fifteen steps he’d have to climb to reach the only bathrooms with showers, she froze.
He clasped her hands. “No worries. I could climb that without any trouble, but all my stuff’s at home.” He turned and winked at Ryan. “No sense in showering if I can’t change my unmentionables.”
Ryan roared with laughter. “Unmentionables? What’s that? Underwear?”
There was something different about her son, a childishness she hadn’t seen in a long time. As if the world had fallen from his shoulders and he could be a little boy again. He needed this. Even if she wasn’t ready, her son needed some joy in his life.
She squeezed Maverick’s hand. A gesture she hoped would speak of more than just that it was time to go. It was time to move on with her life.
He winked and brushed his lips across her knuckles. Adrenaline glittered across her arms and legs. Maybe she was ready. The man had brought a new job that allowed her to spend more time with her son, laughter to her home, hope for their future. There was no reason they couldn’t try being friends, co-workers, and perhaps more. No reason at all.