Jenna cuddled with Sadie on the hospital bed. After sedation, she had finally calmed and fallen asleep. The hospital was dark, quiet, and unnerving, as if death patrolled the halls. Had it come for her mother?
The staff had moved them to a room to keep Sadie overnight for observation. The smell of disinfectant made Jenna's stomach roll. She wanted out, away from the reminders of her father’s last days. She sniffled but didn’t have the energy to keep crying.
Knock, knock.
The door opened and Judy appeared in the doorway. “Hi, darling. How you holding up? I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come see you.”
Jenna had to fight her urge to jump out of bed and shake Judy for information. “Please, is there any news about my mother?”
“Yes, that’s why I’m here. I would’ve been here sooner but someone had to calm your mother down. That's the good news. She’s awake and doing well.”
Relief flooded Jenna with soothing calm. “Thank God.” Judy’s heels clicked closer to the bed and after several deep inhales of happy relief she paused. “Wait, you said good news. What’s the bad news?”
“That your mother's awake and giving the nurses and doctors hell. Devon's with her now. That man looks like he’s about to collapse himself. I’ll tell you one thing, she is his entire world.”
Jenna smiled, genuine happiness flooding into her. “I’m glad.” Then guilt seeped in. How could she have been so mean? “I was too harsh. I’m happy my mother found someone, but…” She sighed and leaned her head back against the small, paper-covered pillow.
“But you feel like you’re betraying your dad? I get it. You two were so close. I think sometimes your mother was jealous of how close you two were. He never publicly showed affection to Cathy the way he did to you, but she was okay with that. She was happy with him. Now, she's showered with love and affection and it’s changed her, but even now, I swear she’d give Devon up for you if you asked. We spoke the other day and she was convinced you hated her because she betrayed your dad.”
Jenna bowed her head. “I did, or I thought I did. I think I felt more guilty about liking Devon and wanting to move on with my life here in Creekside when my dad's not here. It feels wrong.”
“It’s okay to feel those things, but your father loved you and your mother. I can tell you he would be happy for you both. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty.” Judy clasped her hand. “Jenna, it’s okay to continue living.”
Freed from the anger and bitterness, she tried to process all the feelings she’d been keeping at a distance all these years. “My mother might be wrong on many things and have made her share of mistakes, but she’s still my mother. The way she attacked that fire, I knew she’d give her life to protect me, just as I would my daughter.”
Judy sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m so relieved to hear you say that. I know you’re mother can be difficult, but she does things sometimes out of misguided love.”
The monitor beeped on Sadie’s cuff and inflated around her little arm, but she didn’t stir.
“Poor little thing. She’s got to be so upset.” Judy swiped hair from Sadie’s forehead with a gentle touch.
Jenna nodded. “I don’t want her to feel upset at my pain anymore. I love her, and she deserves better. It’s time for me to let it go and move on with my life. Maybe the center wasn’t meant to be.”
“You know, even if that's what happens it doesn't mean you have to leave Creekside again. You have family and friends here that will help. I know you're tough and you can handle anything that comes your way, you got that from your mama, but it never hurts to ask for help. We all would much rather help than see you leave. That would truly be a loss to this town.”
Jenna squeezed Judy’s hands. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve been there my entire life.”
Judy stood and eyed Sadie. “As a grandmother, I can tell you without a doubt that Cathy loves this little girl more than anything. We had to stop her from driving up north to punch your ex-husband when she found out he wanted to put Sadie into an institution.”
“Really? I thought she didn’t approve of me getting a divorce.”
Judy chuckled. “You two never did communicate well. I always felt like a translator. Well, good thing I’m here because you couldn’t be more wrong. Cathy's thrilled you're here. She loves that granddaughter of hers, feels responsible for your bad marriage, and is so happy you had the strength to get out. She hopes you’ll find happiness in Sweetwater County with Drew, even if you never want to speak to her again. She even spoke to Devon about moving up to the mountains, away from Creekside, to let you enjoy it here without worrying about running into her.”
“She did?”
Judy chuckled again. “She did. Your mama only wants what’s best for you. Always has.”
Jenna relaxed back into bed. “Can I speak to her?”
“In the morning. She’s out right now from the sedative. I’ll come by and stay with Sadie when Cathy wakes, okay?”
“Thank you. Wait, Judy. One more thing. Where's Drew?”
Judy sighed. “Last I heard he was blaming himself for the fire. He’s not doing too well.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
The moment the door closed behind Judy, Jenna snagged her phone from the side table and dialed Drew. It rang once then went to voice mail. “I need to speak to you. Where are you?”
The night felt like an eternity of solitude, where Jenna was imprisoned in the world of her own thoughts.
In the early morning hours, Judy poked her head back into the room. “You awake, darling?”
Jenna stretched and slid from under Sadie. “Yes, she’s still resting though. She hasn’t stirred at all.”
“She’s gonna be okay. She’s got a little of her mama and grandmama in her. Speaking of grandmama, your mother's awake.”
Jenna nodded. “Good, I’d like to see her. Would you stay here with Sadie?”
“It would be my pleasure. She’s in room 2408. James just went for a coffee run. He’s gonna bring you back something, too.”
Jenna stopped at the foot of Sadie’s bed. “That would be great, thanks. Um, has anyone seen Drew?”
“Yes, James found him last night.”
Jenna clutched the edge of the hospital bed. “Is he here?”
“No, James finally got him to go home. He said the poor guy looked beat.”
“I see.” Jenna didn’t know what else to say, and Judy didn’t push. “I’ll be back soon. I don’t want to leave Sadie for too long.”
“I promise to have you paged if she wakes up.”
“Thank you.” Jenna made her way through the halls to her mother’s room. Nurses passed by pushing medicine carts with a forced smile and tired eyes. She reached 2408 and took a steadying breath before knocking.
“Come in,” Devon called.
She pushed the door open and found Devon at her mother’s side. Her face was still pale.
“You're welcome to come in, but I’m going to ask that you remain calm.” Devon hesitated, but moved from her mother’s side.
“I’m not here to argue, I promise.” The sight of her mother in the bed with tubes running from her arm shot her with fresh grief. Tears poured from her eyes and she stumbled to the bed. “Mama?”
Devon stood a few feet away. “I’m going to go get some fresh ice chips for you.”
Cathy opened her arms, but Jenna carefully sat on the side of the bed and leaned into her. “Mama, I’m so sorry. The things I said…If I had lost you—”
“I’m fine. Your silly mama just had some sort of panic attack.”
Devon paused at the door. “That’s not entirely true. They're running tests, but it’s possible she needs a stent in her heart.”
Devon closed the door behind him, and Jenna lost it. She blubbered like a little girl with a skinned knee.
After several minutes, her mother patted her head. “Okay, now. That’s enough. I’m good. I’m way to stubborn to die on you, so sit up. We need to talk about a few things.” Her mother always did subscribe to the tough-love handbook. “First, you were right to be angry, and I deserve everything you said. Next, I assure you that you have never been an afterthought in my life. I loved you and wanted you from the first moment I found out I was having another baby. Were you a few years after your brother? Of course, but no less precious to me. You were my baby girl, and I’ve always loved and admired you.”
Jenna grabbed tissues from the tray table then wiped her eyes and blotted her nose. “I know, Mama, I just sometimes felt like I wasn’t good enough.”
Cathy chuckled. “Oh, honey, you were too good for me from the day you pranced into my room at the age of three and told me what real life was all about. And you never stopped giving me hell since.”
Jenna lowered her head. “I know I wasn’t always the easiest to deal with.”
“I wouldn’t trade a second of our life together for anything, honey. I love you, your brother, and your father. I’m afraid I was just trying to make sure you lived the life you deserved. I thought that you should go out and rule the world, and that Creekside would keep you stifled. After your father died, you lost that glimmer in your eyes. The one that showed the world you owned it. I saw you withering away and I wanted you to get out of this town because I thought you needed to find a new path. But I know what I did was horrible and wrong in so many ways.”
“It was, Mama, but I realize now that what you said wasn’t the only reason I left. I needed to leave.”
Her mother scrooched up, but winced and clutched her chest. Jenna fluffed the pillows behind her and eased her back. “Is that better?”
“Yes, dear. Thank you. Now, why do you think you had to leave?”
Jenna shrugged. “I wish I knew. I love Drew. I’ve always loved him.”
“And he’s always loved you. I’ve never seen a man more head over heels for a girl before.” Her mother patted the bed, directing Jenna to sit back down. “You know, when your father died, I was in my own world of pain and I never really saw how you were dealing. Your brother was already away and making his own way in life, but you and I were left here. I saw you pulling away from me, and Drew told me you were doing the same with him. He was worried about you, but all I could see was my daughter suffering. I knew you needed out of here, and you took it the first opportunity. Don’t you see why you left?”
Jenna shook her head.
“You didn’t leave because you didn’t love Drew. Your heart was broken from your dad’s death, and you didn’t have enough left to share. You loved Drew too much.”
Jenna inhaled a sharp breath. The ache she’d felt in her heart all this time wasn’t from worrying about failing again or not wanting to rush into anything. It was because she loved Drew with all her heart, all her soul, and all her body. The deep-in-your-bones-can’t-breathe-or-eat-at-the-thought-of-losing-them kind of love. She rubbed the stiffness in her chest and swallowed the fear. “You’re right.”
“Ha! That’s a first.” Cathy smiled and nudged her elbow into Jenna's arm. “Then what are you going to do about it?”
“I’ll call him. I can’t leave you and Sadie right now.”
Her mama gave her that you-better-wise-up stare. “I’m already on the mend and so is your daughter. From what I hear, that man of yours is in a world of pain, and I think it’s about time you helped heal that heart.”
Jenna hugged her mother around the neck then ran to the door. “I love you, Mama.”
“I love you, too.”
She nearly ran into Devon as she raced from the room. “Sorry, I have to go.” She ran all the way back to Sadie's room, who still slept soundly. The nurse was checking her vitals.
“Do you know how much longer she’ll be asleep?”
The nurse checked the chart. “Probably another few hours.”
James entered, and handed her a coffee then sat down by Judy.
“James, can you take me to Drew? I need to find him.” She had to talk to Drew, but it still frightened her to let Sadie wake up without her.
James stood and kissed Judy on the cheek. “It would be my pleasure.”
They headed to the car. She'd finally tell Drew she loved him. She just prayed it wasn’t too late.