Although I was undefeated at Ironman distance, I certainly wasn’t undefeated as a triathlete. I suffered “losses”: times when I wasn’t atop the podium or didn’t reach my own personal goals. In some respects, it’s those times that I value as much as the victories, as they taught me more than a win ever could about effective preparation, dealing with difficulties, the importance of a great support network and the power of positive thinking.
There’s no doubt that such instances can knock you for six, given everything we invest in getting to that start line. I’ve included two examples to hopefully demonstrate that everyone can bounce back from race-day disappointment.
In 2006, I lined up for the National Age Group Sprint Championship in Redditch. From the outset, it was a miserable, rainy day and it didn’t really improve. Having been away from the UK for the best part of two years, working in Nepal and then cycle touring in New Zealand, Australia and Argentina, I didn’t own a wetsuit. My solution: borrow from a friend. I tried it on the day before and it seemed, to my untrained, un-tri-educated eye, to fit. When I wriggled into said suit on race morning it was obviously too big. I climbed into the non-tropical lake just before the cannon fired and the wettie immediately filled with water. I couldn’t swim, I couldn’t breathe and I could barely lift my arms. As my competitors disappeared I realised I wasn’t even going to be able to finish the swim. Maybe I should have persevered, but it would have taken me an age to complete the 750m and I wasn’t altogether passionate about drowning in 14°C water in the pouring rain with an ill-fitting wetsuit. So a kayaker pulled me to the side. Race over. I was mortified and embarrassed, yet humbled and determined to learn from my mistakes and try again.
Three weeks later, I took part in the Shropshire Olympic Distance Triathlon. In the preceding weeks, I practised in a more suitable wetsuit, bought a new (albeit second-hand) bike that was also the right size and harnessed the power of positive thinking with ample encouragement from my BRAT Club teammates. I managed to win the race and qualified for the World Age Group Championship that year. If it hadn’t been for Redditch, I may never have revaluated and changed my race preparation or had that added drive and determination to succeed.
“It’s often with hindsight that we realise that low points are actually the opposite: they strengthen and empower us in ways we might never have imagined.”
Another example is the Columbia Triathlon in 2009. I went into it wanting to win. Not expecting to win, but aiming for the top nevertheless. And what happened? I felt flat for the whole race. I saw the splash of feet as the main pack got away and when it came to the bike I urged my body to break into the next gear. It wouldn’t respond. On the run, I pushed hard, but my pace didn’t equate to the effort exerted. I crossed the line in sixth. Smiling, but inside incredibly disappointed because I knew that, if I had performed to my potential, I could have contended for the victory.
As a triathlete you’ll have to deal with such disappointment, especially sessions or races that have been total—for want of a better word—turds. Yes, sh*t happens to all of us. At such times, we can throw our tri toys out of the pram, stamp our feet and let the flames of disappointment consume us, or we can emulate a phoenix—that mythological bird which rises from the inferno, emerging stronger and more powerful. So how do we ensure we take the latter path?
Wallow, then move on
Cry, stamp your feet, rant, rave and throw your heart-rate monitor out of the pram. It feels good. And then stop. Remember that the feelings of despair or frustration are temporary and they are under your control. You can either choose to wallow and hence prolong the agony, or else make that conscious effort to replace them with “cup half-full” feelings. Smile, laugh: it’s easier than frowning.
Lean on others for support
Admitting to “failure” is not weakness so talk to friends, family, teammates, a coach, counsellor or Jeremy Kyle. They will provide a shoulder, an objective assessment and opinion and/or give you a sharp kick up the posterior, tell you to kindly zip up your (tri)suit and remind you that you are so much more than simply a swim, bike and runner.
Review the positives
You may not have had the overall performance you wanted, but you may have had a great swim, or a superb run, or you might have finally managed to learn how to pee on the bike without having to duck behind a bush. With every shocker, there has to be some element of success: you might just have to dig beneath that melancholy mud a little to find it. Write those positives down, and focus on them. You can also reflect on why you did the race in the first place—and then try to make a more objective judgement call on winning and losing, success and failure. For example, in doing the Columbia Triathlon, I took myself out of my long-course comfort zone, and yes—it hurt. But that’s a good thing. I visited a part of the USA that I had never been to before, met some fantastic people and put medals around the necks of the finishers. I was able to support an event organiser whose philanthropic work I admire and consolidate a friendship that endures to this day. There is always a plus side.
Review the negatives and your weaknesses
To plunder the words of the Japanese poet, Masahide: The barn has burned to the ground. Now I can see the moon. Having set alight the barn, the “failure” gives you clarity to look at the lunar landscape, so take time to learn the lessons: did you consume one too many kebabs in the lead-up? Did you have an argument with a loved one that preoccupied your mind? Did your equipment choices bite you on the backside? Or was your backside looser than you would have wanted it to be as a result of some nutritional faux pas? Work out which of these, if any, were under your control and which were not. For example, for Redditch, getting a suitable wetsuit and practising in it beforehand would have been an extremely good idea. And in Columbia, I didn’t give myself space to truly focus my mind but rushed around like a headless chicken. I let my nutritional strategy slip by going out for huge buffet meals during my taper. I didn’t wear enough clothes for the cold and wet conditions. And I admit to approaching the race with a degree of arrogance, not giving it the deserved respect. These are all lessons from which I learned, and used to make me a stronger and better athlete, and person.
“Remember that the feelings of despair or frustration are temporary and they are under your control. Smile, laugh: it’s easier than frowning.”
Address the causes
Minimise the risk of history repeating itself by working on the facets that are under your control. If nerves were debilitating, develop a strategy for coping with anxiety. If you were stuck by the roadside unable to change a flat tyre, get someone to teach you how to deal with a puncture. If you suffered from cramp on the run, look at hydration/nutrition or inadequate S & C work as possible causes. Get help from trusted sources, including a coach if possible, to work on your weaknesses. And yes, controlling the controllables also means trying on your kit beforehand.
Be inspired by others
Read about people who have successfully surmounted hurdles. If they can do it, so can you. Even J. K. Rowling admitted she reached rock-bottom before Harry pottered along. Remember the likes of Alistair Brownlee, Sir Steve Redgrave and yours truly didn’t always travel along a path paved with roses. Sir Steve, for example, overcame illness, disappointment and self-doubt to win his five Olympic gold medals. Indeed, one might argue that it was precisely because he endured those turd-filled troughs that he was able to rise to greatness.
Celebrate the journey
We must enjoy the process of preparing for a race, rather than our emotions being tied to a very specific race outcome. Remember all the good times and high points you’ve had along the way, and make sure you value and treasure those as much as the result itself.
Having a clunker of a race makes you appreciate the good times even more. Look at your previous winner’s medals, watch old race videos or, outside of triathlon, remember the promotion you were awarded at work or a successful presentation you gave. Remind yourself that you have achieved past goals and will do so again.
Set a new goal
While sometimes we need to pause and reflect, when the time feels right I would fire up the mojo by giving yourself a new, realistic yet ambitious goal and begin working towards it.
Triathlon is a journey, a challenge, an amazing adventure. We invest a huge amount of time and energy in achieving our goals and the race result is a really important, visible marker of our efforts. However, it’s often with hindsight that we realise that any “low points” or “bad performances” are actually the opposite, and strengthen and empower us in ways we might never have imagined. As the late, great Muhammad Ali said: “Success is not achieved by winning all the time. Real success comes when we rise after we fall. Some mountains are higher than others. Some roads steeper than the next. There are hardships and setbacks but you cannot let them stop you. Even on the steepest road you must not turn back.”