“VIVIAN, WHY DO we have to go back to the house?” Alex pushed his small grubby hand into hers. “I like doing science with you.”
“Because it’s getting late,” Vivian told him. “And your Uncle Jace will be home soon and he promised to bring pizza. We’re all going to have dinner together.”
“Pizza! Yum!” Amy said breathlessly. The steep trail out of Long Valley was wiping all of them out.
Poor Jace was going to need some comfort food. He’d driven all the way to the prison near Fresno where his sister was incarcerated. He had some papers for Brenda to sign, officially surrendering her parental rights. It was heartbreaking to think about a mother giving up her kids, but Brenda was adamant that she wanted Jace to have them. She’d realized just how much she had to learn about herself and her addictions. And she knew that even if she got out of prison early on good behavior, her kids would be grown up by then.
Just the thought brought tears to Vivian’s eyes. These kids had become so precious to her, so important, she couldn’t imagine being in Brenda’s situation.
Jace was also going to scope out what the facility was like. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too grim. If his sister agreed, he’d be able to bring the kids for a visit. It would be hard for all of them, but better for the children to have some kind of relationship with their mother than for her to just disappear from their lives forever.
Meanwhile, Vivian had agreed to look after Amy and Alex for the day. It wasn’t the wisest choice, because despite her feelings for Jace, she was still trying to avoid getting too involved with his family. But it was hard to say no when Jace really needed her help. Carly had to spend the day finishing her project with Jasmine and Jessica, and Maya and Caleb both had meetings and couldn’t watch the kids.
“We’re studying crayfish in school,” Alex said, his quiet voice still a surprise and a delight every time he decided to use it. “We’re going to get one in our classroom.”
“That’s so exciting.” Vivian wiped sticky sweat off of her forehead. She was in pretty good shape, but this hill seemed extra long and steep today. She’d felt sick earlier in the week, some kind of virus, and there was a dull ache behind her eyes that had come and gone for the past few days. But this afternoon the headache had settled in and decided to stay. And the fatigue was back, adding lead to her limbs.
“Yeah. The teacher said we can even do experiments with it. Nice experiments like finding out what it wants to eat the most.”
“That’s great, Alex.”
She wished, suddenly, that she didn’t care about his crayfish. Or about Amy’s growing passion for horses or Carly’s project. The more time she spent with Jace and the kids, the harder it was to stay uninvolved. And she needed that distance. The headache and fatigue dragging her down right now were proof that she had to keep her focus squarely on maintaining her health.
But still, it had been fun to have an entire afternoon out in Long Valley with Amy and Alex. Vivian had been almost sorry to see the sun dropping lower on the horizon as they hiked up the hill toward Jace’s house.
Maya had asked Vivian to compare the vegetation maps in her report with the real landscape one more time before they turned it in to the town council. Alex and Amy had loved helping her with it today, but it was bittersweet. The report included her and Maya’s recommendations. And they were recommending that Jace refrain from grazing cattle in Long Valley indefinitely.
Vivian still hadn’t told Jace. Maybe she was weak, but she’d been enjoying their time together too much to poison it with conflict. But she couldn’t put it off much longer. She’d tell him tonight, and if he was angry and blamed her, well, there wasn’t much she could do. This was her job.
Maya had offered to break the news to Jace herself but, tempting as it was, Vivian wouldn’t hide behind her boss. She was already a coward when it came to her health. She still hadn’t said anything to Jace about her lupus. She should. She meant to. But whenever there was a moment to tell him, she felt like she was on the brink of losing this magical stolen time when he didn’t see her as sick, when there was no pity or worry in his eyes. She wasn’t ready for that to end.
She was in a mess. In the week since their first date, she and Jace had tried to be together as much as they could. From stolen kisses around the ranch to a couple more meals in town, they’d been finding precious moments to get to know each other. And now Vivian was sure of one thing. She was falling in love with him. Head over heels in love. And Jace seemed to feel the same way. His face lit up when he saw her, he was always looking for excuses to get her alone and he talked about them as if they’d be together forever.
Vivian knew she had to step back. She had to put some distance between them. She was in too deep, spending time with Jace when she should be resting and taking care of herself. Already it felt like she was falling into the same pattern she’d had with Colin, giving too much, trying to make her relationship perfect.
And then there was the guilt. If she pulled away to take better care of herself, would he think she’d been leading him on? Giving him false hopes for a future together?
For the millionth time, Vivian wished she weren’t ill. Wished she were just a normal woman who could easily keep up with Jace and his kids. And wished she’d told him about her illness from the very beginning.
Maybe her recommendation for his valley was just the thing to force her to walk away. Because Jace wasn’t going to be happy about it. He’d be angry, he’d push her away and maybe that would be for the best. Maybe it would help her remember all the reasons she’d planned to keep this simple and casual.
“Come on, Vivian!”
She looked up, surprised to see that Alex and Amy were way ahead of her on the hill. Usually she was the one pulling them along.
She’d better hurry, though. It was going to get dark soon. The days were getting shorter as November took them closer to winter. Maybe it was the shorter days that had her so tired lately. She’d been climbing into bed earlier, sleeping later in the morning, and it seemed like no amount of caffeine could ease her exhaustion during the day. She might have to skip the pizza and head home before dinner.
Sweat coated Vivian’s back and chest now. She was overheating, despite the cool fog that had crept in from the coast. She tried to focus on the cool touch of the mist, but it seemed to do nothing to chill her heated skin.
Vivian forced her legs to keep moving up the hill. They weren’t far from the top now, just a few more yards and then they’d be on flat pasture, about a five-minute walk from the house. What was wrong with her? She glanced down and the dusty path seemed to tilt one way, then the other, as if the earth was one of Jace’s rodeo bulls, trying to throw her off. She staggered. Her vision blurred, the landscape spun and darkness flooded in.
JACE PARKED HIS truck in front of the house and tipped his head back against the seat. Visiting Brenda had been rough. She’d done some terrible things, but seeing his sister behind bars still hadn’t been easy. The hopeless look in her eyes stayed with him. One more problem in life that he had no idea how to solve.
So he’d try to do right by her kids. He’d picked up Carly in town and he turned to her now. “Your mom says hello and sends her love. She’s thinking a lot about the mistakes she made.”
Carly had been silent the whole ride home from Jasmine’s. He’d been waiting for her to ask about Brenda but she hadn’t.
“I’m glad. I don’t want to see her yet, though.”
“I understand. We’ll just play it by ear.” He reached over and put his hand over hers. “On a happier note, now that we’ve fixed those stall doors in the barn we can bring Annie’s horse over here. What do you think? Are you ready to be a horse owner?”
Her whole face seemed to glow. “Yes! I can’t believe it! And Milo is such a good horse.” They’d gone to visit the chestnut gelding a few times on Annie’s ranch and Carly loved him already. “Thank you, Uncle Jace.”
“Well, it’s Annie we should thank. I’ll be excited to have Milo here, too. Now, we’d better get inside before this pizza gets cold.”
He scrubbed his palms across his face and shoved open the door of his truck. He was desperate for a shower. It had been a long day on the road and the prison smell lingered on his clothes.
He was twisting to grab the food when he heard it. A faint shout. He turned and shaded his eyes, trying to see through the fog flowing across the pastures from the Pacific. “Vivian?” he called out.
Carly looked at him, eyes wide. “That’s Amy.” She started running toward the sound and Jace followed. They raced across the field at the side of the house, the shorn grass uneven beneath their feet.
“Amy?” Jace called. Man, this fog was thick. A marine layer, heavy with water, coating his skin in cool damp.
“Uncle Jace!” Amy’s voice was faint, and there was a note of fear in it that had him speeding up, stumbling, passing Carly as he hit the narrow path that crossed the pasture and dipped to the valley. He vaulted the newly rebuilt gate and kept going.
“I’m coming! Alex! Amy! Where are you?” Blind panic turned to relief when he saw their two little figures, emerging from the mist. But something was wrong. They were out of breath and staggering.
“Uncle Jace,” Amy gasped when they’d closed the space between them. She flung her arms around his leg. “Uncle Jace, it’s Vivian. Something’s wrong with her.”
Alex was already starting back the way he’d come. “Hurry, Uncle Jace. She fell down. She’s just lying there.” His little voice was shrill with fear.
Calm. He had to stay calm. Jace stopped, took Amy by the shoulders and knelt so that he was at her eye level, just like he’d learned from Vivian.
“Amy, can you be a really big girl right now?”
She nodded, tears running in silent streams down her face.
“You have to try to stay really calm, okay? So we can help Vivian.” Vivian who’d collapsed. Who needed him.
Carly came skidding up. “What happened?” Jace asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
“Vivian collapsed farther down the trail. She seems to be unconscious,” Carly related.
“Can you run back to the house and dial 911? Stay on the line and talk to whoever answers. They’ll ask you questions. The most important one is our address.”
“North Sky Ranch. One thousand fifty three Coast Route Seven,” Carly gasped, still trying to catch her breath.
“Okay. Take Amy, so she can help you explain what happened. Please hurry.”
Carly took Amy’s hand and the two ran off toward the house at a sprint.
“Come on, Uncle Jace!”
He took Alex’s hand and they pelted down the trail until Alex stopped and pointed. There was Vivian, lying on her stomach, one arm outstretched, the other under her.
“Vivian!” The horror in his own voice reminded him that he had to stay calm for Alex. For her. He knelt beside Vivian, put a hand to her neck, another to her side. Thank God, she was breathing.
There was a cut on her forehead, a scrape on her nose. If she’d fainted she wouldn’t have done a thing to break her fall. Could she have a head injury? A neck injury? Should he move her?
Her neck seemed fine, not twisted at a weird angle. In fact, she looked strangely peaceful, like she’d decided to flop down for a nap or something.
“Is she going to be okay?” Alex was beside him, a small hand on Jace’s knee, like he needed the contact.
Jace gave the kid a hug. “We’re going to do everything we can to help her. But you have to be really brave right now. Can you do that?”
Alex nodded and Jace wondered how many times life had already required this little boy to be brave beyond his years.
“Okay, I’m going to check her arms and legs, and then we’re going to wait for an ambulance to come. Okay? I need you to stay with me and try not to worry.” Jace pulled off his coat and laid it carefully over Vivian. And fought back tears when little Alex got up and pulled off his jacket and placed it on her, as well.
Please let her be okay. Jace repeated the silent prayer as he carefully felt her legs and arms. “I don’t think she broke anything. Can you tell me how this happened?”
“We were walking home and I was telling her about the crayfish at school and how we were going to feed it stuff. And then she walked slower and was way behind us. I turned around and she was acting kind of like she was dizzy, and then she fell like this.”
Maybe she’d had a seizure or something? Jace took her wrist and felt her pulse—faint but steady. He thought he heard a distant siren and strained to hear more. Please let them get here quickly. Please let her be okay.
“You and Amy did great, running to the house for help. I’m proud of you.” The sirens were louder now, and Jace hoped he’d be able to take a real breath soon, but worry made it hard right now. Had he done everything he was supposed to do for her? Was he missing something, some sign of distress?
He checked her breathing again. She looked small, so frail. Her skin was so pale, but it was usually pale. Was it always this pale? Was she in shock?
The sirens stopped and through the fog he heard the metallic thud of doors opening and closing. “They’ll be here to help her in just a moment,” he told Alex.
The little boy wrapped his arms around Jace in a hug. It was so sweet and so unexpected, and it ripped something inside Jace into pieces. Vivian had become part of what they were, part of their family, and what the hell was he going to do if he lost her now?
He wrapped his arms carefully around Alex and kept his eyes on Vivian. He loved her quiet way of fixing things. The way a little ripple formed between her brows as she tried to solve a problem. The way she brought out the best in the kids and in him. He’d slowly come to rely on her, to count on her, to need her and...to love her.
And now he might lose her forever. Please God, no. He closed his eyes and made a silent promise to Vivian that when she came back to them he’d tell her exactly how he felt, all the words he’d been afraid to say because he didn’t want to scare her or push her away. He loved her. He wanted to spend his whole life with her.
Maybe real love, the lasting kind, crept up on you. It started with interest, was fueled by trust, fired by need. He might not have recognized it, but he could see how he’d been living it, how he’d been loving her, for some time now.
“Uncle Jace, they’re here!” Carly and Amy came flying over the crest of the hill, followed by two paramedics. Jace recognized Ryan Loring, who he’d gone to high school with.
“Jace, long time no see. This is Jodie.” Ryan set a large black bag down next to Vivian.
The woman he’d called Jodie shoved her blond ponytail behind her and knelt to open the medical bag, pulling on gloves and handing a pair to Ryan.
Jodie checked Vivian’s neck and then carefully put a neck brace on her.
“What are they doing?” Alex whimpered.
Jace moved the kids a few yards away. “They’re protecting her neck before they do anything else. That way, in case she hurt it when she fell, they won’t make it any worse when they move her.”
“Can you tell us what happened?” Ryan knelt to take Vivian’s pulse.
“I wasn’t with them. The kids said she just staggered and collapsed. Like she’d gotten dizzy or something.”
“Does she have a history of seizures? Or any other medical issue that you know of?”
Jace felt stupid telling Ryan he’d never asked about her medical history. Or shared his own.
Ryan and Jodie checked Vivian’s limbs, then started setting up the stretcher they’d brought with them.
“Is there someone we can call who might know? Family?”
Jace racked his mind for what Vivian had said about her family. “Her mom lives in New York. Maya Burton is her boss, she might have more information.”
“We’ll call her on the way to the hospital.”
They carefully straightened Vivian’s limbs. Ryan counted off and they lifted her gently onto the stretcher.
“Mama had to go on one of those once when we couldn’t wake her up,” Amy said.
Jace’s stomach lurched. “I’m sorry that happened to your mom,” he said quietly. “Sometimes people get sick and they have to go on a stretcher to the hospital for help.”
“Mom wasn’t sick, though,” Amy said. “She drank too much drugs.”
Jace pulled both kids in for a hug and included Carly with his gaze. “You guys have been through a lot. You are all very strong. This is different, though. Vivian must be sick with something. She doesn’t drink or take drugs. We’ll get her help and she’ll be okay.”
“I don’t want her to go away,” Alex said, his voice muffled as he pressed his face to Jace’s shirt. “I don’t want her to be sick.”
Tears burned behind Jace’s eyes and his voice came out rough. “I don’t want that, either. I really don’t.”
“We’re taking her to Santa Rosa Medical Center,” Ryan said. “Do you want to follow the ambulance?”
“I need to get the kids settled. Then I’ll be there.” Jace would call someone, Annie Brooks maybe, or Maya’s grandmother, Lillian, to watch the kids at their house. He needed to be with Vivian.
“We’ll have to carry the stretcher. The ground is too rough for wheels. Take my bag?”
Jace swung Ryan’s medical bag onto his shoulder.
Ryan and Jodie lifted the stretcher with practiced efficiency and started up the trail ahead of them.
“Come on.” Jace and the kids followed them up the path. At the ambulance, Ryan had Jace sign a form, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Good to see you after all these years, by the way. Though I wish it were under different circumstances.”
“You’ll take care of her, right?”
Jace hated the quaver in his voice. His weakness, when Ryan was so stoic and strong. Of course, Ryan was used to this kind of thing. And he didn’t know Vivian.
“We’ve got her. She’ll be fine. All her vitals were stable, and apart from a few cuts and bruises she doesn’t seem to have any serious injury from the fall.”
Maybe Ryan’s words were just meant to soothe, but Jace clung to them like gospel.
“You’re sure she isn’t sick with something?” Ryan continued. “Has she mentioned feeling dizzy or having flu-like symptoms or shortness of breath?”
Jace glanced down at the kids but they were eerily stoic, standing quietly, probably trying to process this latest scary thing that life had thrown their way. He’d have to call their counselor at school and let her know what had happened.
“She’s never mentioned a specific illness, but she took a day off earlier this week. Said she had a migraine or something and needed to rest.”
“Could be flu,” Ryan said, “though it’s early in the season still.” He glanced at the kids. “Did you get them their flu shots?”
“Not yet,” Jace admitted.
“Get them tomorrow. And then every year. Right when school starts. I’ve seen too many complications, Jace.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a card. “My number. Call me if you have any questions when you get to the hospital.”
Jodie was already in the back of the ambulance with Vivian. Ryan closed the doors, climbed into the cab and they were gone down the driveway.
“Is Vivian gonna be okay?”
Amy’s small voice tore at Jace’s heart. “She’s going to get the best care.”
“It’s going to be okay, Amy,” Carly said. “The doctors will fix whatever is wrong.” She looked over Amy’s head at Jace, old enough to realize that wasn’t always true.
“Carly’s right. She’ll get any help she needs.” Now that the initial crisis had passed, the aftermath of the adrenaline left his body shaky. He couldn’t imagine how the poor kids were feeling. “Look, I’m going to drop you guys and your pizza off somewhere warm and cozy. Maybe at Maya and Caleb’s? Or at Vivian’s grandmother Lillian’s house? And then I’m going to go to the hospital and check on Vivian. You three have a job to do. You need to eat pizza and try to relax. You saved Vivian today. But even superheroes like you have to rest.”
Alex glanced up at him with a tentative smile. “We’re heroes?”
Jace crouched down and gave his nephew a big hug. “Yeah, buddy. You sure are. Many times over, but especially tonight.”