I am extraordinarily lucky to have found an editor as clear-eyed, patient, and passionate about this book as Annie Chagnot. I am equally lucky to have been found by Kent Wolf, who understood my hopes immediately, and who has the miraculous ability to dissolve all my worries with his humor. I am grateful, as well, to Chris Jackson, Julie Grau, and Cindy Spiegel, for believing in this project from the beginning, and to Andy Ward, for shepherding it through at the end. Lucy Carson, Molly Friedrich, and Will Watkins also gave their invaluable support.
Jonathan Thompson offered me the seed of an idea nine years ago. Sarah Gilman trusted me with my first feature, lent me her editing scalpel and then her friendship, and never appeared to tire of hearing about this story. Paul Reyes assigned and edited the essay that made this book possible. Cally Carswell, Kate Julian, Jennie Rothenberg-Gritz, and Anthony Lydgate kindly assigned the stories through which I gained much of my material for this book.
I am thankful to Bill McKibben, for believing in me now for fifteen years and for making so much possible; to Chris Shaw, for believing in me for almost as long and for answering my every email with compassionate reassurance and advice; to John Elder, for his thoughtful interest and generous engagement with the book when I needed it most; to Ted Conover, for inspiring me with his brave, humble approach to reporting and for his support; and to Rob Cohen, for his honest critique back when I really had no idea what I was doing, and later for his encouragement.
Tristan Ahtone carefully read the manuscript, offering his critical guidance at a critical time.
This book would not have been possible without the support of the Investigative Reporting Program at the University of California, Berkeley, which funded the majority of my reporting, and, in particular, Tim McGirk, Lowell Bergman, and Janice Hui. I am also grateful to the MacDowell Colony, which endowed me with writing space and dear friends, as well as a Calderwood grant and a Sylvia Canfield Winn Fellowship.
Parker Yesko provided me with crucial research assistance in the early stages of this project. I would be remiss to not acknowledge Mardee Ellis and Michael Snell, the most helpful public records specialists I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with, and Larry Griffin, who quit journalism years ago but went digging through his hard drive to unearth for me an essential document.
Thank you, Angela Evancie and Kevin Redmon, my “writers without editors,” for your intellectual companionship, and for helping me find the right words. And Lauren Markham, our conversations and your keen advice gave this book form. I am lucky to have you as a model, a collaborator, and a friend.
I am indebted to my armada of readers, many of whom I’ve already mentioned, and also among them Olivette Orme, Meg McClellan, Zoe Sheldon, Brendan Borrell, and Emily Guerin. Chuck Hudson’s insights during my reporting and writing proved essential. Marilyn Hudson, one of the first people I met on the reservation, generously gave me a place to stay, which became my home away from home. Kandi Mossett offered me advice in the very beginning. Cheryl Abe made me feel especially welcome. Susan Poisson-Dollar and Beth Baugh made sure I had a place to work, while the Orme family provided countless meals and a comfortable bed after my long days mired in public records. Cody Upton and Francesca Coppola hosted me and inspired me when I came to New York.
I feel a tremendous amount of love for all my friends and relatives who shared in my excitement, bore with me all these years, and gave shape to my own life. Thank you, Corinne, for your steady adventurousness; Maureen, for being my other mom; the Sylvesters, for supporting me in so many ways and celebrating each tiny bit of progress. Mom and Dad, your bottomless love and confidence in me is what brought me here and keeps me going. Win, you may be my little brother, but I learn so much from you. And Terray, thank you for being my patient companion all along, for guiding me, distracting me, and loving me.
I am grateful to the woman who introduced me to Lissa, and to the hundreds of others who spoke with me over the years, many of whom I don’t mention. Among them are Loren Whitehorn, RJ Smith, and Dwight Sage; each died not long after I met them, but their honesty, gentleness, and conviction influenced me greatly. I am grateful, also, to Elise Packineau, whose prayer helps close this book.
Most of all, I am thankful to Lissa and her family, the Yellow Birds, for their trust, eloquence, humor, and radical generosity. Nothing has prepared me better for this world than the time I have spent in their wise and loving company.