In the third step to creating unstoppable courage, you will learn to “find your reasons.”
Remember in the first step when we talked about what you would do if you had more courage? You have reasons for wanting to do that one thing, and they are extremely important. Why do you want to talk to her? Why do you want to speak up at work? Why do you want to create your own business? What is the thing that scares you and why do you want to do it?
There are powerful reasons there, but you might not have fleshed them out and made them really tangible by writing them down. Writing your reasons down solidifies their legitimacy and helps you to develop your courage.
Without these concrete well-defined reasons, we make it too easy to chicken out on ourselves.
When you’re facing your fear head-on, it’s like jumping off the high dive. The height may not sound so bad, but when you’re up there looking down, it feels like you’re about to jump out of an airplane. Once you jump off, though, you think: This was fun! The slap might have hurt a little, but no big deal. I wasn’t scared of that.
That’s all these things are: moments that will end up giving us great pleasure if we follow through with them. We need our reasons before we try them, however, to give us the incentive necessary to face that fear. Have you ever seen a guy climb down the ladder of the high dive? He probably didn’t have his reasons figured out.
Consider your purpose; what you’re here to do. When you’re standing there looking down at the water about to jump, you have to know why you’re doing it.
I want to jump off the high dive because I want to be able to do fun things. I want to be able to swim. I want to be included by my friends. I want to feel courageous. I don’t want to be scared anymore.
Those reasons are going to inspire that person to jump off the high dive because they are compelling. What are your reasons? What’s going to propel you forward?
I want to create my own business because I’m sick and tired of working for someone else. I want to earn more money and create more. I want to do the work that I want to do. I want to be excited and passion about my work.
That person is going to start his own business because he has deep-seeded reasons to do so. Most things in our life are not like a high dive where you just jump once and you’re done; you have to do it over and over again. If you speak up at work, you can’t just speak up once. You have to speak up again in the next meeting and the next, and so on.
There are going to be a number of high dives from which you’ll have to jump. Your reasons are the only things that will keep you climbing that ladder over and over.
Your reasons connect you to your purpose, and they form a rope to which you can cling as you pull yourself forward through life.
Think of each reason as a strand on that rope: If you have only one reason, the strength of your rope is going to be questionable at best. If you have six, however, and they’re all interwoven, you will have a strong and durable tool with which you can scale any mountain and overcome any obstacle.
So, what are your reasons in life? Pick the one thing that you would most want to do if you had an abundance of courage. While you think about that thing, answer this question: Why do I want to do this? What are my reasons?
It is important that you write those reasons down ... NOW. Come up with at least five; five reasons that excite and inspire you and fill you with passion and purpose. They don't have to be fancy sounding – in fact, the simpler they are, the more relatable they will be to your emotions, and the better they will be in terms of influencing you.
You want to keep it simple: It would feel awesome. That is one of my most oft-used reasons: It would feel awesome. I love the word awesome because it has an emotional charge for me. It doesn't have to sound fanciful; your main driving force might be frustration: I'm sick and tired of living my life this way.
Whatever really gets you going and lights a fire in your heart, you must write it down. Find you reasons for the one thing that you would be doing if you had more courage and list at least five them on paper. Again, if you haven’t done it already, take a moment and write those reasons down right now.