As he started slobbering kisses all over my face, I kept hearing my dad's voice. He was right. I could do this. I didn't want to lose Branson, but I was tired of telling him no. It was painfully obvious that we weren't on the same page. His drinking and smoking pot and then inviting himself over to my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning really made me angry.

I hopped up. "You don't have any respect for me. You've completely ignored everything I've been saying. But the days of me accommodating your feelings are over. I am a high school graduate. My dad was right. I'm going to have

to be responsible for my own decisions, as tough as they maybe."

Branson blinked in confusion. "So, what are you saying?"

I stood straight, my shoulders back. "I'm telling you to leave. Now!" 1 could barely believe I'd just said those words.

"What do you mean?" He stood and grabbed my arm. "Laurel, you know what I came for and 1 want it now."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, pulling away from his grasp. "Why do you have to push everything? I'm not ready yet. Can't you understand that? I love you, Branson, but you're crossing the line. I am not going to let you take advantage of my love and push me into doing something I'll regret. I'm tired of being weak around you. How dare you demand that I have sex with you? It's disgusting. You want to threaten me and say we're through? Fine. Get out and don't come back. Ever!"

I straightened my arm and pointed to the open window. A cool breeze blew in, making me realize how much all that tension and tears had made me sweat. My nightgown clung to my body. Branson leered at me, as if everything I had just said made no difference to him.

His eyes raked my curves even as I tried to cover myself with my arms. "The moonlight is hitting your body just right." He looked up into my eyes. "Oh, Laurel, I'm sorry. I know it seems like I'm pushing you, but you're so gorgeous."

He kissed my neck and then stopped when I stepped back. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm going through a lot right now. My dad's gone on one of his long business trips and my mom thinks he's cheating again. I just wanted to be with the one woman who cares about me. I guess I shouldn't have come."

Branson sank bank onto the bed. "I probably won't get the scholarship to Georgia after all. But I can't talk to my father about it because he'll just call me weak. He said I messed up any chance to make something o( myself because I wasn't smart enough to get an academic scholarship. You

know I'm not a bad student. Salem was hard and I was carrying a 2.9 GPA. But that wasn't good enough for him."

Branson started crying. I knew he was acting all emotional because he was drunk and high, but he did have some legitimate concerns. I took a step closer and he looked up at me. His gaze made me feel beautiful, but at the same time I knew it was sinful.

"I'm sorry you're going through so much." I put on my robe and handed Branson the glass of water on my night-stand.

"Thanks," he said, then took a long drink. "I'm OK now."

"Then I want you to go home," I said, quietly but firmly. "And please don't call me tomorrow"

He looked up at me with a sorrowful expression. "How are you going to know if I get home safe?"

"Just be careful. God will get you there."

"Am 1 worthless, Laurel?" he asked, looking up at me with those big puppy-dog eyes of his.

"No," I told him. "The world wouldn't be the same without you." I sat beside him on the bed and prayed for all the issues he was facing.

After I said, "Amen," he climbed back out of my window, blew kisses at me, and disappeared into the darkness. I couldn't believe, after everything that had just happened, that we were still a couple.

Please get him home safely, Lord, I prayed.

I really wanted to stay home the next Saturday and chill with Brittany and Meagan. We didn't have many more nights together before they'd be leaving for Florida and I'd be headed off to Georgia. So I thought it would be nice to spend a quiet evening at my house reminiscing about the past and planning for the future.

Then Brittany found out about a rave party some kids from Kennesaw were having. I'd heard those parties were

bad news, but Brittany said they were a lot of fun, and Mea-gan went along with her, so I was outvoted.

I could have said no. I should have said no. But 1 didn't. The moment I stepped into the abandoned warehouse, I wished 1 had.

The music was blasting. The dance floor was packed. Drugs and alcohol were everywhere. Kids were sprawled all over the place, most of them stoned. Guys had girls pushed into corners, and just a glimpse of what I saw nearly made me gag. It was worse than an R-rated movie.

"Lets get out of here," I said.

"No way," Brittany argued. "Relax. Mingle. Try to find somebody to dance with."

"Yeah," Meagan said, looking around with wide eyes.

1 didn't want to argue with them, but 1 was extremely uncomfortable and I couldn't understand why they seemed so comfortable.

Why couldn't 1 stand up for what I wanted? Why did 1 have to give in to them every time?

There was nothing 1 could do about it now. Brittany drove and she wasn't leaving. Besides, 1 did have a lot to celebrate. Not the way a lot of these kids wanted to. But 1 was due for a good time.

"You want some punch?" Meagan asked me.

I remembered the New Year's Eve party at Brittany's house when I drank some spiked punch that made me buzzed and sick. My chest had burned and ached, and 1 felt like 1 was going to pass out.

"I'll pass on the punch," I told Meagan. "Think we could find some water, though?" Temperatures had reached over one hundred that day, and it hadn't cooled off a bit. The warehouse wasn't air conditioned, and all those bodies were making the air stifling.

A stranger stuck a bottle of Evian in front of my face. He was kind of cute, though not as clean-cut as I usually liked. He had greasy hair and a nose ring—definitely not my type.

"Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?" I asked.

"Just trying to be polite." He shrugged. "If you don't want it . . ."He started to tuck the bottle into one of the pockets in his baggy jeans.

"A gentleman would wait for my answer, not just take it back when I say something he doesn't like," I snapped back with a playful grin.

"Well, I'm not always a gentleman." He gave me a crooked half-smile. "If you want the water, it's yours. But if not, I'm gonna stand here and drink it in front of you."

His bad-boy attitude was kind of appealing. I checked to make sure the cap was sealed. Then I took the bottle, snapped off the cap, and gulped the water down.

"You were thirsty." The guy laughed.

I took another long drink and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"It's not ladylike to guzzle," he said.

"Well, I'm not always a lady."

He smiled. "You wanna dance?"

Meagan nudged me toward him. "She'd love to."

I was glad it was a fast song. That put some distance between us.

Over the blare of the trance music, he asked me my name. I didn't respond right away. Then I figured it couldn't hurt. And I didn't want to be rude. He seemed like a nice guy. So I answered.

"Shadrach, huh? That's a weird name."

"What's yours?"

"Pare Reives. Pare with a c, not a k."

"That's weirder than Shadrach."

We laughed, and suddenly the music changed. Everyone around us started hugging up. Before I could think about it, I was dancing slowly in his arms. It didn't feel entirely comfortable, but it wasn't weird, either. Then I had

a flash of my guy. What I was doing seemed wrong somehow. I backed away.

"You don't wanna dance anymore?"

"Sorry. I've got to go to the ladies' room. I'll talk to you later. It was nice meeting you." My palms were sweaty. It was a good thing my hair was pulled back in a ponytail because my temples were perspiring. Though I went from Dr. Jekyll to Miss Hyde on him, I didn't really care what he thought.

What is wrong with me? I wondered as I tried to find a quiet spot. That was hard to do because every inch of the room seemed occupied with someone doing something sinful. What did that say about me as a Christian? Surely God, my parents, and my boyfriend would all be unhappy with me in this environment.

"Boo!" Brittany said as she showed up behind me, Mea-gan beside her.

"You startled me."

"Don't be a whiner," Brittany said. "Meagan showed me that fine guy you were dancing with. Well, guess what? She and I have hooked up with his friends. They've got another party going on down the street where there's tons of food. Way more fun than this lame thing."

I did want something to eat, but another party? "I don't know," I said. "It's getting kind of late."

"We don't have to be home for two more hours," Meagan said.

"It's going to take forty-five minutes to get home."

"The party's close by," Brittany argued.

I knew they wouldn't let up, but I didn't really want to see that Pare guy again.

"Laurel, you never do what I want to do," Meagan whined. "1 always go to your Bible studies. I always go to church with you. I always watch the movies you want to watch. For once, can't you just go where I want to go? This

is supposed to be our farewell-to-high-school celebration. Don't be a party pooper. We won't stay long."

u Guess I don't have a choice," 1 said, squelching the tiny voice inside my head that said, Yes, you do. Instead 1 listened to the voice that said, Let loose jor a change. Have a good time. Be wild and enjoy yourself.

When we got to the parking lot, I saw Pare and two other guys, who looked like members of a gothic rock band, standing beside a fiery red van with the side door open.

"What's going on?" I said.

"We're escorting you lovely ladies to the party," Pare said with that charming half-grin of his.

Brittany grabbed my arm and pushed me into the van. She and Meagan crawled in after me, followed by Parc's friends.

"I thought you were going to drive us to the party," I whispered to Brittany.

"They'll bring us back." She shoved me into the front passenger seat, then sat in the row behind me.

"We don't even know these guys," I said as Meagan settled into the back row. But it was too late. The van door banged shut. Pare flung himself into the driver's seat and the car started rolling.

The situation made me extremely nervous. But the air conditioning sure felt good.

Parc's weird-looking friends cuddled up with Brittany and Meagan, who clung to them like they were movie stars. Brittany introduced the guy she was with as Lex, and Mea-gan's partner as Streeter.

"You want some?" Lex asked, handing me a paper cup.

"No, thank you," I said. My throat was parched with thirst, but I wasn't about to drink something if I didn't know what it was.

I knew we were in trouble and I should pray for God to provide us with a way out. But I didn't feel right asking Him to help us since we'd been stupid enough to let ourselves

get into this mess. So I sat there, planning to walk back to the rave party as soon as we got to the new one.

After about ten minutes I said, "I thought this party was right down the street."

"Calm down," Brittany said, her words slurred. She had obviously been drinking whatever was in that cup.

I looked back and saw Meagan kissing Streeter, totally ignoring everything else.

I glared at Pare. "Stop the car. Right now." When he didn't, 1 reached over to try to grasp the steering wheel.

"Hey, stop that," Lex hollered, grabbing my arm and yanking me to the middle seat.

"Don't push my friend around like that," Brittany said.

"You shut up," Lex ordered. Then he threw Brittany against me.

She glared at him. "And don't go shoving me around either."

Lex slapped her face with the back of his hand. She started crying in my arms.

"What's going on here?" I said. "Where are we going?"

"You want me to hush you up too?" Lex growled.

I was terrified. Images from news reports flashed through my mind. Who were these guys? Would we see tomorrow? Why was this happening?

I peeked into the backseat to check on Meagan. She was trying to stop kissing Streeter, but he kept pressing his lips to hers. She finally broke free and cried out, "You bit me!"

We were in serious trouble.

"Don't be scared, ladies," Streeter said.

"Let us go!" Brittany screamed. "This isn't fun anymore."

"Shut her up, man," Streeter warned.

Lex threatened Streeter with a shaking fist. "Don't push me."

These guys are high," I whispered to Brittany. She nodded, her eyes wild with fear.

"Are they going to—" Before Meagan could finish her question, Streeter grabbed her hair and yanked it back.

'You know you want to give it to me. No ones gonna have to take anything. If you cooperate it'll be great."

He tried to kiss her, but she fought back.

"Don't fight it, babe," Streeter said.

"Just tell us where we're going," I said, trying to be rational with them.

"What difference is that gonna make?" Lex asked.

"I just want to know. Is it a secret?"

"We're not telling you anything," Lex barked, "so zip it." He crawled up into the front passenger seat to talk things over with Pare.

Brittany put her arm around me. "I've got a plan," she whispered.

"Don't do anything stupid," I whispered back.

"Well, I'm not going to just keep sitting here. Who knows what these guys are planning to do. We've got to get them back on our good side."

"Britt!"

She knelt between the driver's seat and the passenger seat, facing Lex, and started rubbing his chest and kissing his ear. Then she began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I knew we chose the right girls."

"You can get all you want," Brittany said in a coy little voice. "I just don't want to feel like I'm being forced. Trust me, you'll like me much better if I freely give you what you want." She kissed him between every word. He seemed to be buying it.

"What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?" he asked.

"Let me go for now," she suggested. "I'll hook up with you tomorrow night. That way I can make it really special for you."

"Are you trying to get out of this?" he asked.

"Don't be crazy," Brittany said, her eyes twinkling with lustful promise.

The van came to a screeching halt. We stopped so suddenly Britt lost her balance and tumbled into the middle seat beside me.

Lex scrambled out and opened the side door. "We've got the goods," he bragged.

Outside the van stood twelve guys, their eyes hungry as if the three of us were their dinner. Streeter pushed us all out of the van, and we were enveloped in the hot, sticky night air. Then he got out behind us and shut the door.

When I saw Pare, I glared at him. But before I could speak, a large guy with bad acne grabbed my arm. "I'm going first." Another jerk gripped my other arm and said, "No, me." They pulled me like a wishbone, and their friends started doing the same thing with Meagan.

Before anyone could touch Britt, Lex said, "Back off. This ones mine." When she didn't follow him willingly, he grasped her hair and pulled her toward the upscale fraternity house across the lawn.

Suddenly our circumstances became crystal clear. These guys were college students. They had come to a high school party looking for underage girls. Meagan's crying started up again and I felt like joining her.

Pare came up to me as I struggled against the two guys. "Back off," he said. "She's with me."

"So you're not gonna share?"

Pare stepped closer and the other guys let go of me. He put his arm around me and steered me toward the frat house.

1 struggled against him, but he kept pushing me. I let him have it with the only weapon 1 had: my mouth. I told him everything 1 hated about him until we got to the back of the house. Then he put his hand over my lips.

"Shhh," he said, letting go of my arm.

"What's going on here?" 1 screamed.

"I'm trying to figure out a way to get you and your friends out ol this mess."

"But you were driving the car! Why did you bring us here in the first place?"

Tm a freshman. I'm trying to make it into this fraternity and this is the initiation. I didn't think they were really going to do anything. I just thought we were going to have a little fun by scaring you girls and then taking you back."

I had no idea how we were going to get out of this. I thought about calling the police, but I figured by the time they arrived, these jerks would have time to do their damage to my friends.

I started doing what I should have done long before. I knelt right there in the grass and closed my eyes. "Heavenly Father, please forgive me. I know I've sinned. I shouldn't be where I am, but I'm here and I need Your help. I know there are always consequences when I do things outside of Your will. Lord, You're the only one who can help me out of this. And Meagan. And Brittany." Out of the blue, the Lord reminded me of what would happen if Brittany had sex with anyone. "Oh, my gosh," I blurted out. "If they . . . she could give them HIV!"

"What?" Pare cut in.

I looked up, embarrassed that he'd listened in on my private conversation with God. He dashed to the front of the house.

I followed quickly when I heard Meagan scream. "What are they doing to her?"

"You guys," Pare yelled, "we've got the wrong girls." He stood near the doorway of the frat house and announced, "They've got AIDS."

"What are you talking about?" Lex asked, bringing Brittany out from the side yard. Her clothes were dirty and ripped, but still on her body. Her face was flushed and streaked with tears, and her beautiful blond hair was a wreck.

"You're kidding, right?" He leered at Brittany. "She can't be infected. She's too pretty."

"Since when does outer beauty have anything to do with what's going on inside?" Brittany said. "You're fine-looking but you've been acting like a jerk ever since we left the rave party."

The rest of the gang came out of the house.

"Where's Meagan?" 1 yelled at them. She came running out the door with a bruised eye and a ripped blouse. She fell into my arms. As I held her 1 started blaming myself for this mess. 1 should have been witnessing to my friends. Though I felt like a nag sometimes, I didn't want to let them influence me into doing something that would lead us all into trouble.

"1 think we'd better let them go," Pare told his friends.

Lex raised a fist at Brittany, but Pare held him back.

"How dare you?" Lex seethed at her. "You could have killed me."

"I wish we had done it," she lashed back. "'Cause you're the kind of guy I'd want to give this disease to."

Streeter grabbed Meagan, who was hiding behind me. "This little redhead is hot. She might be worth the risk. And I'll wear a condom."

Meagan pulled away and ran for the van. Brittany followed her.

"What should we do?" I asked Pare.

"Go on. I'll take you guys home."

As I followed my friends to the van, I heard Pares fraternity brothers grumbling.

"Look, I'm out of here," he told them. "I'm not going to let you mess with these girls."

After I got into the van, my friends and I rolled up the windows and locked the doors. Then I turned around and saw Pare marching toward us.

"Let's beat 'em up," Lex hollered. Yeah!" Streeter said.

They all came charging at the van. Pare was in the lead, hut I didn'l know if he was going to make it to us before the

other guys could pull us out and retaliate. I clutched Mea-gans and Brittany's hands and squeezed.

It felt like over a hundred degrees in that van. But we weren't about to open any windows or doors.

Lex caught up to Pare and pushed him. Our rescuer fell face-first in the grass. The angry mob behind him advanced—angry, drunk, and enraged. They nearly trampled over Pare to get to us.

I was terrified of what they might do if they got into the van, but there was nothing I could do except watch as we sat there together, sweating the temperature.

t e n

«•

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popping any fireworks

Pares going to help us," I assured Meagan and Brittany. "I just know it."

The three of us sat in the middle seat, our faces plastered to the side window of the van, watching the drunk, crazed guys running toward us.

"He's lying on the ground," Brittany shrieked. "There's nothing he can do."

The fraternity guys started pounding on the door, trying to break in to get us. My girlfriends and I pulled back, gathering in the middle of the backseat.

"Britt," I said, "do you have your cell phone?"

"Lex took it," she moaned.

"Mines in the car at the rave," Meagan cried.

The van started rocking. "They're gonna turn this thing over," Brittany screamed.

"We've got to pray, you guys."

I wrapped one arm around each of my girlfriends. The

van was shaking, and we were trembling, and the heat made it difficult to breathe. "Lord, help us," 1 said.

Before I could say anything more, I heard what sounded like a splattering of small gunshots. We all screamed. But the rocking stopped.

"Someone's shooting at the van," Meagan squealed.

Brittany and Meagan clasped onto me. When 1 looked out the window, I saw Pare standing near the steps of the frat house. He carried two fistfuls of firecrackers.

"Check this out," I said, and the three of us stared out the side window of the van.

"What do you think you're doing?" Streeter snarled at Pare. "Why are you trying to help these girls leave?"

"Get over it, man," Pare said. "This is not what we set out to do tonight. I can't believe you guys used me to drive the car and didn't tell me what you planned on doing."

A guy yelled out from the crowd, "What you gonna do about it?"

"I've already called the cops. They can either drive by and see no disturbance, or you guys can keep acting crazy and go to jail. Now, get out of my way and let me drive these girls back to their car."

The guys moved away from the van and let Pare pass, like Moses through the Red Sea on dry land. I unlocked the drivers-side door. Pare hopped into the van, tossed the fireworks under the passenger seat, and drove off.

"Did you really call the police?" I asked, climbing up front with him. Then we passed a patrol car and I realized Pare was not bluffing. "Thank you," I said. "You probably ruined your chances with that fraternity. But you're a hero."

Pare snorted. "Those guys will probably respect me more and make me president of the fraternity. They're in desperate need of leadership. I've been following for a long time, not having the guts to tell them what they're doing is wrong. Tonight they pushed me too far. They weren't even thinking rationally. Drugs and beer will do that to you.

They're good guys, basically, but they do stupid things sometimes."

"Well, we're going to report them," Brittany said coldly.

We had every right to press charges, of course, but I could tell Pare was hoping his good deed would convince us not to. 1 tapped him on the shoulder and nodded to let him know I would talk to her, although I wasn't convinced that I didn't agree with her. 1 mean, if those guys got away without consequences, they would probably do this again to somebody else. I would feel terrible if we didn't create enough trouble to make somebody understand what these guys were doing before it was too late.

Meagan sat with her knees up against her chest, rocking back and forth, tears drenching her face.

"Meagan, what happened?" I asked tenderly

She wouldn't say a word, just kept rocking.

"Did one of them do something?" I held my breath.

"Not all the way," Meagan said, her voice small and trembling. "Some of them touched me. But the stuff they said . . . that really got to me. They accused me of being loose because of my red hair. They kept saying, 'Everybody knows redheaded girls are easy'"

"Yeah, and blonds are dumb bimbos," Brittany grumbled. "And brunettes are all serious and smart."

"Are you hearing yourself?" 1 chided her softly. "You're complaining about stereotypes based on hair color, but what about a person's skin?"

"I know," she said. "To be honest, I kinda like that girl Robyn. I guess 1 was just jealous that you wanted to hang out with her."

I climbed into the backseat and gave Brittany a long hug. Then I turned to Meagan. She released her knees and embraced both of us.

'That must be your car," Pare said as he rolled into the otherwise empty parking lot.

I looked at my watch. "Oh, no," I groaned. "It's four-thirty!" My parents were going to have a fit.

Brittany screamed. I followed her gaze out the side window and looked at her black Jetta. The back windows were all busted and every tire had been slashed.

"What are we gonna do?" Brittany moaned.

"How are we going to get home?" Meagan cried.

We found Meagan's cell phone in the glove compartment and I called home.

An hour and a half later, at six o'clock in the morning, my dad's burgundy Cadillac Seville pulled into the parking lot, followed by a tow truck. Pare left as soon as he saw that we were going to be all right.

Dad drove us home and the tow truck followed with Brittany's busted Jetta. As we rode home, I thought about the lessons we'd all learned that night.

Pare had stood up to his friends and done something courageous. Meagan learned she shouldn't flirt so much. Brittany realized she shouldn't judge others. And I discovered that there are some times when you've got to stand up to your friends.

My dad didn't say much to us, but I knew I was going to be in for it when we got home. And yet, somehow, that was OK. I wanted him to re-emphasize what I already knew I had to be prepared for the worst because only time would tell what angry firecrackers would pop off next.

I figured we were in enough trouble, why lie about it? When we got to my house, Mom had biscuits and gravy waiting for us. I could smell it the moment we walked through the door. Then I saw Brittany's dad and Meagan's mom sitting at the table, and my appetite disappeared.

"You girls could have been killed," Brittany's dad said. "Why didn't one of you stand up to those jerks?"

Meagan's mom was crying too hard to say anything.

We all sat in my living room, and we were all feeling really bad.

Finally, Mrs. Munson collected herself enough to say, "The thought of you girls being—1 can't even say it. What were you thinking, getting into a strange man's car?"

"Did you have to tell them everything?" Brittany mumbled to me.

My mother hugged us, served us breakfast, and brought us cool cloths so we could wash up.

"You girls didn't deserve anything that happened," my dad said, "but you did set yourselves up to be victimized."

"Your first mistake was going to that rave party," Mom added.

"We know what we did wrong," I said. "And we're sorry. We're not asking for you to forgive us." 1 felt Brittany kick my leg under the table. "Though it would be nice," I said, responding to her thump. "We have learned our lesson."

Brittany's dad stood and hugged her, really tightly. From her surprised response, I gathered he hadn't done that in a while. "I'd go crazy if I lost you."

Then Meagan got up and went over to her mom. "1 was so scared."

"I called your father," Mrs. Munson said. "He was worried about you—ready to cut his business trip short—until I assured him you were safe."

I watched my friends get hugs from their parents. But my dad didn't hug me. Because he was a pastor, most people assumed he was a pushover, but he was a really tough guy.

After my friends left with their folks, my dad just stared at me, not saying a word. I kind of wanted to ask about my fate, but I didn't want to push the issue. I knew he was angry at me in spite of my little spiel about learning my lesson. I wanted to make him proud of me, but it was hard balancing right and wrong. In my mind there was a skewed gray line between the two.

Finally, I just thanked my parents again for their understanding and quietly went upstairs, where I fell to my knees.

"Lord," 1 said, "I know I let my dad down. 1 let You down too. Thank You for coming to my rescue. 1 want to do better but I don't always know how to go about that. Please lead my thoughts. Guide me. In a way it doesn't seem right that we made it through that. But You spared us. You have so much patience and grace. Teach me how to take life one step at a time and make You proud. I know there's something You want me to do with my life because You spared it. I'm going to make both You and my dad proud of me."

After I said "amen," I heard my mom's voice. 1 stood up and saw her standing in my doorway.

"Laurel, I want to talk to you about this destructive path you're on."

I climbed onto my bed, but she remained just inside the doorway, her arms crossed. I mentally prepared myself for the tongue-lashing I knew I deserved. "I'm sorry, Mom. I really am."

"Laurel, your actions last night were despicable. And I take some responsibility for that."

What in the world was she talking about? She didn't make me go to the party. She didn't make me get into that van with those crazy guys. She wasn't responsible for my decisions.

She sat in the chair beside my bed. "You did something a few days ago that disturbed me, and I've been praying for you, but I haven't really known how to address it. I haven't even talked to your father about it."

I wrapped my arms around my knees and stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"A few nights ago your father heard some noises in your room."

She didn't have to say any more. I knew this conversation was leading to a big explosion.

"Your dad said you were just trying to get to sleep, but I

know what a sound sleeper you are. So when he went back to bed, I decided to come and pray for you. Before I could open the door, I heard a male voice. At first I thought it was one of your brothers, but when I listened more closely, 1 knew it was Branson. I just stood there, frozen. My baby girl was in her room with her boyfriend at three in the morning."

"I didn't have sex with him," 1 cut in.

"I heard you tell him he needed to leave. But Laurel, you know what he wanted. And for him to feel like he could come here at that hour implies that you're very close to doing it."

I couldn't be angry. It was time I talked to somebody. I needed to let all this out.

"OK, Mom. Do you want me to be honest with you? It's hard for me to be perfect. I'm not saying I'm ready to have sex, but part of me does want to. I didn't want to go to that party last night, but the excitement of celebrating graduation enticed me. If I could go back and do it all over again, I sure wouldn't have chosen what I did."

"You've got to be smarter in your choices. Your dad and I talked about punishing you and we've decided there's no point to it. You're almost out the door, and punishment might only make you act crazier when you get to Georgia. So we're going to give you a little room."

"Mom, I hate that I'm battling this stuff. I wish I could make you and Dad proud, but there's a battle inside me. Do you understand what I'm talking about? I'm sure you don't because you're the perfect homemaker mom."

"Oh, darling, I'm not perfect. None of us is. I've been where you are now, and my life is a lot different now because I changed some of the things I was doing. I stopped hanging around things that were tempting me."

'So are you telling me I should stop dating Branson?" No, honey. I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm just saying you need to think about your decisions. If you know you II be tempted by Branson, why go out with him? If he's

pressuring you into doing things you don't want to do, maybe he's not the right guy for you. And if your girlfriends are encouraging you to do crazy things that are sinful and dangerous, maybe you need to think about what kind of friends you're hanging around with."

"Are you saying I shouldn't be with the people I care about?"

"I'm saying you should think about it. You need to decide things for yourself. If you want better results, you've got to change what you're doing. You know, there's nothing wrong with someone calling you a bore because you want to study the Bible instead of go to a party It's OK to be a virgin. Being sober and sane is a lot safer than being drunk and crazy. There's got to come a point when you stand up for what you know is right, regardless of what others think." She touched my cheek. "Be the daughter I raised you to be. Be strong and follow God. If you do that, you'll be proud of every decision you make."

She kissed me on the forehead and left me to think about all that she'd said. I appreciated her being my friend as well as my mom. She was right. My life was in my own hands. What I did from this point on would determine my future. I needed to please God. And that meant sometimes I had to say no.

I got back on my knees and vowed to the Lord that if He would lead, I would follow. It seemed so easy to promise. As soon as I got off my knees, I wondered if I could really do it.

"Laurel, I need to see you tonight," Branson pleaded with me over the phone. "You haven't called me all week. I've got some big plans for tonight to celebrate the Fourth of July and your birthday."

I couldn't respond to him. It was like I had put myself on restriction. Meagan was grounded but Brittany was free to do whatever she wanted. For the first week after the

party, my friends called me every day, begging me to do something with them. I said no to everything, without even asking my parents for permission. If no one was going to punish me, I was going to punish myself. Finally I'd told my brothers and Derek to take messages if any of my friends called.

That morning I was home by myself when the phone rang, so I'd picked it up.

"Do you want me to ask your mom if you can go?" Branson asked.

"No!" I almost screamed. "You're not one of her favorite people right now." I let a silent pause happen, then said, "OK. We can get together. Pick me up around eight."

That afternoon my mom made a great meal for lunch and my family all gave me presents—all except Lance. I had told him not to buy me anything until he paid off his debts. He made me a birthday card, though, from construction paper and glitter and different-colored pens. He even wrote a poem on the card. It wasn't fancy and it didn't really rhyme, but I could tell it came from his heart, and that made it special.

As I helped Mom wash the lunch dishes, I told her about my plans to go out with Branson that night.

"So you've already committed to going out with him without asking your father or me?" she asked in an edgy voice.

"You said I wasn't going to be punished," I reminded her.

"You could have at least checked with us first. It is your birthday, you know."

"And I really appreciate the great lunch you made for me and all the presents," I said. "I didn't realize you'd want more of my time tonight."

I was so confused. As I looked into my mom's eyes, 1 i ould tell she was too. I knew she was happy I'd chosen to stay in all week. And that I'd been spending so much time

reading the Bible and Christian books. The only places I'd gone since that horrible party were church, Mrs. Meaks's discipleship group, and practice at Rockdale County Gym.

"Mom, 1 really have learned a lot this week. 1 thought about what you told me. I can't make any promises that I won't do anything stupid, but I can tell you that the likelihood of that happening is small. Branson is not going to cross any lines with me. I do love him, and I want to be there for him. But I'm not going to sleep with him. That simply won't happen. You don't have to worry"

"So where are you guys going?" she asked.

I hated to say I didn't know, but I didn't want to make up something. "He said it was a surprise."

Mom raised her eyebrows at me.

"I can get more details, or at least tell him to communicate with you and dad so you'll know where we're going."

Just then Lance walked into the kitchen. "You guys talking about tonight?" he asked, grabbing an apple from the fridge. "I heard there's a big fireworks party out at the Horse Park. Bos going to be there."

"Really?" I asked. "When did he get out of the hospital?"

"Yesterday. He's in a wheelchair, but he's still planning to celebrate."

Was that Bransons surprise? If so, why didn't he tell me?

"Are you going?" I asked my brother.

"Yeah, I was planning to."

"You both need to be in by 11:30," Mom said.

That was a half-hour before my normal curfew So I figured I was getting some punishment after all. I thought she was pulling my chain in a little early, but I could live with that.

Branson picked me up at six. "You're two hours early," I complained. "It's still light out. What are we going to do till nine?"

"You'll see."

I let him drive and was surprised when he took me to

the scene of the prom-night accident. When he pulled into the Evergreen Hotel parking lot, 1 said, "I'm not getting a room with you."

"Don't worry. We're not going in. I just wanted to come back here, and you were the only person I could think of that I'd want to go through all this with."

I didn't know what to say to him. This was a serious side of him I'd never seen.

"I wish what happened to Bo had happened to me instead," he said, his voice breaking. "I'm the one who talked him into entering the race."

I felt sorry for Branson when I saw him shed some tears. He was being so transparent that I could see his pain.

"The football team is going to honor Bo at the fireworks show. It'll be the first time I've seen him since . . . that night." He looked out the window at the cliff Bo's car had gone over. "Tonight we're going to see each other face to face, and I don't know how he's going to feel about that."

I wiped his tears with my thumb and stroked his cheek. "You know, there are lots of actions I wish I could take back."

"Yeah, right," he scoffed. "You're Little Miss Perfect."

: Trust me, I'm not," I said, unable to look at him.

When he refused to believe me, I told him about the events of the previous weekend.

"You did what?" he said over and over as I related the details.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that everybody does stupid things they wish they could take back."

"OK, you did something stupid. But the consequences could have been much worse. Bo will never walk again, but I'm all healed. It doesn't seem right. 1 don't know how I'm going to live with myself."

I held him in my arms for a long moment, asking God for the right words to say to him.

\22

"You know, we can't be made whole on our own. We need a Savior."

"Don't talk to me about God right now." Branson opened his glove compartment and pulled out an unopened envelope, which he handed to me. It was from the doctors office. "The results of my last AIDS test." He looked down. "I can't open it. I need you to tell me my fate."

"Do you want to pray first?"

He didn't respond, so I started in. "Lord, it's hard for my boyfriend to trust You right now So I ask that You will come into his heart, forgive him of his sins, and show him grace. We all make mistakes. Lord, if the results are not what we want, I ask You to give us the strength to deal with that. Amen."

When I opened my eyes I saw Branson staring at me. "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know what the results are. God doesn't always do what we want, particularly when we don't really know Him. But He loves you, and He wants to be there for you."

"Forget it." He snatched the envelope out of my hand. "If I'm gonna die, I might as well know it."

He stared at the envelope.

"It could work out," I said.

"I'm scared, Laurel." He grasped my hand. "I honestly don't believe I'm going to have any reason to be popping many fireworks."

e L e v e n

trying to Change

branson pounded his fists on the steering wheel, saying all kinds of nasty words. Then he buried his face in his hands.

"Branson, I know right now you feel—"

"You don't know what I'm feeling. You're not holding an envelope with your fate in it."

I could have snapped back, but I realized he wasn't thinking clearly. At that moment he needed grace. "You're right, 1 don't know how it feels to be in your place. But I do care that you're going through all this. And whatever happens, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. It's going to be OK."

He handed me the envelope. I kissed his forehead. In the last bit of daylight, I opened the envelope and read the letter inside.

"Branson, you're OK! Your tests were negative!"

He sal there staring at me, unable to process my words.

"Let me read it to you." I cleared my throat. u Dear Mr. Price. I am pleased to inform you that the results of your HIV tests are negative. 1 recommend you come in for annual retests over the next three years. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns, or if you experience any of the symptoms we discussed. Sincerely, Dr. Drake Dickinson."

Branson leaned over the center console and put his arms around me, pulling me toward him. "Thanks for being there for me. I love you, Laurel." He kissed me, and I felt the passion of the moment, so I quickly pulled away "We'd better get going. Don't want to miss the fireworks show"

"Yeah," he said. "We really do have something to celebrate!"

Along the way, I tried to convince him it was God who'd worked the miracle for him, but he just called it good luck. Still, I knew God was doing something great with Branson. He was knocking at the door of his heart, which was what I'd been praying for. Next on the Lord's agenda was breaking my guy to a point where he would realize he needed God. I wasn't wishing anything bad on Branson, but I knew the Lord operated that way sometimes.

My actions needed to speak louder than my words. It was one thing to say, "Try God," but he needed to see that I had peace because I believed in Someone greater than myself or anyone in this world. I hadn't always shown godly character with Branson, but I was determined to change that.

When we walked into the park, I saw Bo in his wheelchair.

"Hey, guy," Branson said, his voice stuttering and hands trembling. "It's . . . It's good to see you, man."

To help my boyfriend regain his dignity, I knelt beside the wheelchair and said, "It really is good to see you, Bo." I placed my hand on his. "I've been praying for you."

I didn't know why I said that. Bo had always hated God,

but the words were out of my mouth before I thought about how he'd take them.

Bo looked me in the eye. "I've been feeling your prayers."

My eyes misted, and 1 noticed his did too. 1 wrapped my arm around his shoulder and gave him a sisterly hug.

He looked up at Branson. "Don't be nervous, man," he said with a smile. "1 can't even move. Your girlfriend's safe with me."

We walked around the park together, and several people came up to ask how Bo was doing and wish him well. Even some of the really popular kids chatted with him.

The guys from the football team started cheering, "Rah, rah, Bo! Rah, rah Bo!"

Branson grumbled and walked away from the crowd.

"We'll be back," 1 whispered to Bo.

"I want to talk to him, Laurel. I need him to know I'm OK. I've got something better now than I had before. I've got Christ."

That melted my heart like a chocolate morsel on a hot sidewalk.

I walked beside Bo as he drove his electric wheelchair up to Branson. "Somebody wants to talk to you," I said to his back.

He turned around, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, man."

"Me too." Bo said.

"Seeing you like this, it. . . it just makes me mad."

"1 was angry too," Bo said. "But I had nowhere to direct my anger. 1 couldn't be mad at God, because I didn't believe in Him."

"You didn't believe?" Branson asked. "What are you saying?"

"A good friend of mine helped me get my life back together. He helped me see that God wanted me to give my anger to Him. Even though I'll never walk again, there's still something God wants me to do."

It was great hearing Bo talk this way. He'd found God in the midst of his tragedy!

"Physically, I don't have much anymore. But 1 have everything because 1 have Christ."

"But you'll never walk again." Branson's voice cracked.

Bo shrugged. "Miracles do happen," he said. "The Lord can heal me, if He chooses to. Or He may do even greater things in my life."

Branson dug his toe into the ground. "You didn't call me when you got out of the hospital," he said in a sulking voice.

"I'm sorry about that," Bo said. "I didn't want anyone around when I first got home. Now I'm ready for my friends again, but I have new conditions. For one thing, don't pity me. And don't blame yourself. I want friends who will lift me up, not help me stay down. But the biggest condition is this: You have to be open to hearing about God. I need friends who won't push me into sin."

Branson stared at the ground. "That's a lot to think about," he mumbled.

"Take your time," Bo said. He pushed the button on his wheelchair and drove off.

"He's a different guy, Laurel," Branson said, not at all happy about the transformation.

"He's a better guy," I said. Before we could discuss it further, fireworks started going off in the sky.

A week later, I woke up feeling great. It occurred to me that my ankle hadn't bothered me in quite awhile, and I thanked the Lord for that.

Branson called to tell me he'd taken a job at Six Flags. He'd have long hours during the summer, he said, so he wouldn't be able to call me all the time. I knew part of me would miss him, but another part looked forward to having some space so I could think things through.

I couldn't get Bo off my mind. I kept replaying his testi-

mony in my mind. Throughout the four years I'd known him, he was a thorn in my side. Every time I brought up Jesus, he said I was crazy. Now that he would never walk again, he was happier than I'd ever seen him.

I wanted that fire. Though I didn't like admitting it, it was clear that my relationship with God wasn't as strong as Bos. But how could I get there?

I had an idea. Pefore I could lose my nerve, I picked up the phone and called Bo.

That afternoon, I was sitting with Bo in his kitchen, eating a sandwich his mom had made. I acted like a reporter, asking tons of questions.

"You were always talking about God," he said to me. "So was my mom, and a lot of other people. I never thought I'd be encouraging someone to take their walk with God up a notch. But here I am, in a wheelchair the doctors tell me I'll never get out of. I believe God's got me here so that, for the rest of my days, I can tell people about Him."

"When did this change start?" I asked.

"The night I regained consciousness in the hospital, I was extremely bitter. But two days later, I had an encounter with God, just like Paul on the road to Damascus. For some unknown reason, I fell out of the hospital bed and I couldn't get up. As I lay there on the floor, God spoke to me."

"What did He say?"

Bo's voice grew soft and reverent as he quoted the Holy Spirit's words. "If you want to get up, I will help you, but you have to let Me in. You can't get up alone. You need Me."

I stared at Bo in stunned amazement. Not only was his story incredible, but I was impressed that Bo knew about Paul in the New Testament. He must have been reading the Bible a lot since his transformation began.

"I don't know how much time went by. It felt like I lived the whole eighteen years of my life all over again. 1 thought about everything I'd done, why I did what I did, and the consequences of my actions. 1 finally realized that I really

did need to let God into my life. 1 wanted to get up. 1 wanted to move on. I wanted a change. So I said, 'OK, God, if You're there, help me.' At that exact moment, my doctor came in. He helped me back into bed, but I couldn't stop crying. I knew God had answered my prayer, so I had to give Him my life."

"But you still can't walk, and you might never," I whispered.

'That's true," he said without flinching. "But I have a new Christian walk now, and I'm stepping higher than I ever did on two feet."

I couldn't believe how happy he seemed. "Don't you want to walk again?"

He laughed. "Of course."

"Do you think you will?"

"I don't know," he said matter-of-factly. "If the Lord wants me to, I will. But I'm not focusing on what I don't have. I'm focusing only on Him."

I took a deep breath, wondering if I would have that kind of faith if I were in his situation. I had a hard time focusing on the Lord when far less dramatic things happened in my life.

"I'm sorry I was such a jerk toward you," he said. "I probably tarnished your walk with Christ. Maybe that's why God has me telling you now that you can make your relationship with Him stronger."

Things were starting to feel uncomfortable, so I changed the subject to get the focus off of me. "Have you told Branson about all this?"

Bo looked down. "He hasn't called me once since I gave him the new parameters for our friendship."

"How do you feel about that?" I knew how I'd feel if I set those parameters and then Branson never called me.

"I'm hurt, sure. And disappointed. But I'm not broken. God is mending my heart. He's changed it. The things that were important to me aren't that big a deal anymore."

"So, how do I get what you have?" I asked.

Bo looked at me, confused. "What are you talking about? You already know the Lord."

"I accepted Christ as a little girl. I've always been a Christian. But my relationship with Him is like . . . well, like marriage can get when two people have been together for a really long time. I'm not as excited about Him as you are. The fire has died down. Can you help me?"

Bo smiled at me. "You're off to a good start just by asking that question."

"So, what's the answer?" I persisted.

"I guess I'd have to say that you need to look at your life and let go of some of the baggage that's pulling you into sin.

"But what if it's your best friend or your boyfriend that's pulling you down?" I asked.

"You know, I always wanted Brittany to be my girl," Bo said.

"Really?" I asked, completely shocked.

"I secretly longed for her all through high school, and I was really angry when she chose Branson over me. Then Branson had to get an AIDS test because of her. And I realized that although she looked good to me, she wasn't. I still love her, and I know God wants me to remain friends with her. Jesus walked among sinners to change them, but He didn't become like them."

"You sure know a lot about God for someone who just became a Christian," 1 remarked.

Bo smiled. "I've been spending a lot of time reading His Word. And I'm in a Christian chat room with some really strong believers. You should check it out."

"Maybe I will." 1 determined right then that 1 was going to be more like Bo. Considering what this guy had been like lor most of the time I'd known him, the thought seemed pretty ironic.

When I went to church the next day, Mrs. Meaks confirmed what Bo had told me.

"Equally yoked," she told our Sunday school class, "is not just about Christians marrying believers. It's about living as believers in everything we do. When the sun rises, darkness disappears. The two don't mix. So, which are you, light or darkness? Whichever you choose, let your life reflect your choice."

My thoughts immediately connected Mrs. Meaks's words with Bo's advice. But my thoughts were jarred when I heard her say, "Yes, Foster?"

My eyes followed her gaze. There sat my ex-boyfriend, whom I hadn't seen since school let out.

"I had to make tough choices," he said, "and let go of someone who was dear to me." It didn't take a genius to figure out he was talking about me. I wondered how many other people in the room figured it out. "She wanted me to be different from what God called me to be."

He looked right at me, and I couldn't look away. He was telling me what was on his heart, and God knew I needed to hear his words.

Foster turned his attention to the rest of the class. "I just want to say something to those of you who are hanging around someone because you want to lead them to Christ or help them live a godly life, but it's not working. If that person is pulling you away from your walk with Christ, you need to cut the cord. It won't be easy."

He took a deep breath. "As most of you know, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I didn't want to let go of booze. But the Lord gave me the strength to be made whole again. Now I take things one day at a time. In the same way, my love for this other person didn't leave when we went our separate ways, even though I've prayed for that every day. But I'm not bitter. God is mending my heart. And He's teaching me that life is not about finding another person to be with. It's about keeping a strong relationship with the Lord."

"Thank you for sharing that," Mrs. Meaks said.

I wasn't falling for Foster again, but I felt bad that when he needed me to love him 1 couldn't. So after class 1 walked up to him and said, "1 want you to know 1 get what you're saying now. Thanks for reminding me that if I walk with God I'll be OK."

"I'm glad to hear that," he said, his brown eyes sparkling.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like you did," 1 added, "especially when you were recovering from alcohol."

Foster chuckled. "For weeks I called myself a recovering Laurel-holic."

I laughed with him. It felt great to be friends with him again.

"Seriously, Laurel, I haven't stopped praying for you. It's not easy choosing God over someone you love who's pulling you away from Christ. But I can honestly say I have recovered from both alcohol and you. And if God can change me, He can change you too. But you've got to completely choose Him."

He gave me a lot to think about.

Branson wasn't at church that day, which bothered me. I knew he had to work weekends, but surely he could have scheduled his hours around church. God just wasn't a priority for him. I didn't know if I was a priority, either.

My dad gave an awesome sermon that day. He talked about being a branch connected to the vine. If you're not connected, he explained, you can't bear fruit. But Christians who are connected to God can bear fruit for His kingdom. Branches grow fruit because they're connected to the vine, not because they're connected to the dirt that surrounds them. Branches that are on the ground will never bear fruit. But the ones that stay on the tree will survive through harsh winters, and in the springtime they'll blossom again. God can use our down times for His glory.

My dad's message reinforced what I'd been learning that week. In order to grow closer to God, I had to grow away

from some of my friends. It wasn't a choice I wanted to make, but I knew I had to.

Suddenly I felt like running up and down the aisle. I could do this! I was going to make the change.

After church Meagan came up to me and asked how I was doing. About twenty times in a row I said, "I'm doing great. God is so good." I sounded like a Holy Roller! I was high in the Spirit.

Later that night I was sitting on the porch with my dad. He was reading his Bible, but kept glancing up at me. I was so full of passion for Christ I must have been bouncing the porch swing.

"Your ankle must be feeling better today," he said.

Oh, yeah, my ankle was fine. But that wasn't the source of my joy. I wanted to tell him why I was so happy. But I was a little scared. After putting in hours of service to God, preaching, teaching, counseling, and praying, my dad was still studying the Word. Could I be that committed? Would my new fire last?

"What's on your mind?" he asked, closing his Bible.

"I'm just really happy because I feel the Holy Spirit," I said.

He looked at me with a surprised expression.

"But I'm also scared because I don't know if I'll have this same joy tomorrow. I've felt like this before, but the fire always cooled. I want to feel this excited about God all the time. I'm so full of thinking about Him. I'm no longer worried or nervous about college or my future or any of that. I feel perfectly safe about everything."

I stood and walked to the edge of the porch. "When I hold your hand, I can feel how much you care about me. Well, I can feel in my heart right now that God is close to me. I want to stay that way, but I'm afraid I don't know how"

My father joined me at the porch railing and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He prayed in my ear, practically blowing blessings all over my life. 1 felt like my heavenly Father was showing me His plan. And all 1 had to do was talk to Him about the tough stuff, and He would guide me through it.

My dad turned me around. "One step at a time, Laurel. That's how you'll stay fired up." He took my hands in his. "Yield every step to Him. Give every decision to Him, every thought to Him, every friend to Him. What He does with your life will be better than anything you could ever do." He brushed back a lock of hair the wind had blown out of place. "I've been parenting you for eighteen years. Now I give you back to God. I can see that He's shining His mercy and grace on you. He's shown me that He's really got your heart. So be committed to change your life in whatever ways are necessary to glorify Him. Don't just be trying to change."

t w e L v e

ending th0 romance

So, where we going?" I asked my boyfriend in the car. "I have tons of plans to make our anniversary fabulous."

Branson and I had been off and on for three and a half years. We started dating the summer before our sophomore year, when 1 saw him at a country club where he was the lifeguard. I'd liked him since the ninth grade, but he always hung with the popular crowd. I remembered the first thing he said to me: "You're that girl at my school. You look incredible."

1 had on a bathing suit, and at that moment I knew I had him hooked. Our relationship hadn't always been fun, but I'd always loved him. And when he remembered the anniversary of our first date, it melted my heart.

I took a long sniff of the fresh bouquet of flowers he'd given me moments earlier. "The suspense is killing me, Branson. Where are we going?"

"OK, if you can't hold on for the surprise, I'll tell you. We're going to my house."

A lump formed in my throat. My body started shaking.

"My mom fixed a nice meal for us. My parents said this night should be special for us, and they wanted to help us celebrate it."

"Oh," 1 said, greatly relieved. "Sounds great."

When he pulled up to his house I saw a dim light in one room, but otherwise the place was dark.

"My parents are big romantics," he explained. When he opened the front door I saw candles lit in the dining room.

"It's so pretty," I said.

He closed the door behind us and kissed my neck. "Not as pretty as you."

"Mrs. Price, we're here," I called out, heading for the kitchen. "What smells so good?" My voice seemed to echo through the house.

I entered the dining room and found the table beautifully decorated. But my doubts multiplied when I saw that the table was only set for two. Branson invited me to sit, but I didn't.

"What's going on here? This is unacceptable. You know I'm not—"

"Calm down," he said.

"Where are your parents? You told me they wanted to help us celebrate."

"Yes. They made it possible for us to have a quiet, romantic evening alone."

This isn't funny," I said, standing my ground.

"Laurel," he said softly, looking deeply disappointed, "my mom made us a delicious dinner. Then she and Dad made themselves scarce for a few hours so we could enjoy it. They're fine with this."

"Well, my parents wouldn't approve."

"Lighten up, Laurel." he said. "It's our anniversary. Let me show you how glad I am that we've made it through all

that we have. I love you and I'm just trying to do something nice."

His eyes looked so forlorn, I didn't have the heart to argue anymore. He pulled out one of the chairs, and 1 sat. He sniffed my hair as he helped me push in the chair, then he sat beside me .

Branson picked up a jumbo chilled shrimp and popped it into my mouth. It tasted divine. After I ate six more of them, he took the plate to the kitchen and brought back two Caesar salads. The main course was stuffed flounder with asparagus and a big baked potato. Branson poured a delicious carbonated punch from a crystal pitcher into matching goblets.

"Your mom didn't have to go all out like this," 1 said. "But I'm sure glad she did. This is all so yummy!"

When I couldn't eat another bite, Branson said, "Ready for dessert?"

I raised my eyebrows as he slipped back out to the kitchen.

I sat there wondering what delicious pastry his mom had prepared, and if I could find room in my stomach for it. But when Branson returned, he was carrying an adorably wrapped package with the words Happy Birthday on it. I laughed.

"I'm sorry this is so late," he said. "But I got my letter from the doctor on your birthday, and I was really worried about what it said. I was also concerned about seeing Bo at the fireworks show that night. I wasn't even sure what our status was as a couple, since you hadn't called me in awhile. So I figured I'd wait a while and give this to you when 1 knew we were OK."

"Better late than never," I teased.

"I have an anniversary gift for you too." He handed me a smaller box, also cutely wrapped. "Open this one first."

When I pulled off the beautiful paper, I was delighted to see a picture of the two of us in a wooden frame. We were

on our first date at the Atlanta Zoo, with Lumani and Yon Yon, two baby pandas, in the background.

"I love this," I said. I felt my resistance melting. But 1 had no intentions of giving in. 1 stood to give Branson a great big hug, but as soon as I did, I felt light headed.

"I'm a little woozy," I said, sitting back down.

"Then you'd better not drink any more of this." He took my almost-empty punch glass to the kitchen.

"What do you mean? Branson, did you put alcohol in this punch?"

"No," he said, returning with a glass of water. "Just Champagne. You know, a little something to celebrate with."

I was miffed at his false pretences. How dare he try to get me drunk!

Before I could get too upset, he put the other box in my hand. "Don't forget this one."

The box was pretty and I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I opened it. Inside was a cream-colored silk G-string from Victoria's Secret. I was stunned.

"Why don't you go try it on?" he suggested.

I threw the box at him. Then I started hitting him with my fists.

"What are you doing?" he yelled, defending himself from my blows.

"Why did you have to ruin everything?" I hollered. "I don't want to have sex with you. Why do you have to keep pushing me?"

He shoved me off him so hard I knocked my dinner plate into the centerpiece candle, which fell over, spilling hot wax all over the tablecloth.

I had intended to help Branson wash the dishes, but now all I wanted to do was go home. I grabbed my purse, but left the gifts on the table. I insisted that Branson take me home immediately, and I didn't say another word to him the whole way. I didn't even let him walk me to the door.

"Why are you still in bed?" Brittany asked as she came into my room two days later.

"Britt, I told my brothers 1 didn't want any company You never listen. You always think everything is about you."

"I'm not alone. Come on in, girl." She ducked outside my door and pulled Robyn in.

I didn't want to admit to them that my boyfriend and I were having serious problems again. But I hated not being transparent with them. After all, these were my closest friends. If I couldn't share with them what was going on with me, what kind of friendship did we have?

Branson hadn't phoned me since our anniversary incident. I called him to make sure he was OK and that his mother wasn't upset about her ruined tablecloth. But the answering machine was the only thing that heard my concern. I left messages on his cell phone and his voice mail, but he didn't call me back. That meant only one thing: a breakup was inevitable. I didn't want to break up with him, but then, I kinda did, because his lack of values had compromised my integrity too many times. I sure didn't want to crawl back to him. I had to stand and be unwavering in my beliefs.

"So, what's going on with you and Branson?" Brittany asked, making herself comfortable on the edge of my bed.

"Let's not talk about me. Why did you come over here?"

"Laurel, dang!" Robyn said in her cute ghetto way.

Hanging around her had taught me a lot. At first I thought the reason black people "broke English" was because that was all they knew. After getting close to Robyn, I learned that the things they said, and the way they said them—with a roll of the eyes and a twist of the neck—usually make a pretty powerful point. And Robyn's talk often made me laugh.

"I'm glad I could make you crack a smile," she said.

"Thanks, you guys, but I'm OK. What's going on with you two?"

Robyn sat on the chair by my bed. "We got this great plan to break up our parents."

"Are you still on that idea?"

They looked at each other, and each of them raised an eyebrow.

"Anyway, this plan is really good." Brittany rubbed her hands together. "First I'm going to call my mom and tell her that Dad is dating a black woman. She'll call him in a heartbeat when she hears that."

Robyn scooted the chair closer to my bed. "When my mom finds out that Brittany's dad is talking to his ex-wife, she'll tell him he'd better make up his mind quick or she'll drop him. They'll be history for sure."

"Do you really think your dad will talk to your mom?" I asked Britt. Brittany's mom had been running around with a married man when I moved to Conyers, and filed for divorce shortly after. Brittany's dad hadn't spoken to her since.

"Well. . . she's kind of been sending him letters."

"What do you mean, kind of?"

"We wrote a couple of letters," Robyn explained, "and mailed them to him."

"You did what?" I shook my head. "Don't you think your dad will figure it out?"

"Maybe eventually," Brittany said. "But right now she's saying all the things he's waited years to hear. He's going to believe it because he wants to."

"That's sabotage!"

Brittany and Robyn went on and on about how they thought this was such a great idea. Neither of them saw anything immoral about it. They were telling me their plans like I was a part of their scheme. What did that say about me? They were planning to deceive their parents, and they expected me to pat them on their backs.

My Christian light might as well have not been shining

at all, because they certainly weren't seeing it. Christ would never do what they were suggesting. They were so engulfed with their own feelings they didn't care about how much they were going to hurt their parents.

When is it going to end? my conscience asked me. When are you going to take a stand? Say something. Ifthey don't listen to you, then distance yourself from this.

I stood. "I don't want to hear any more. What you're doing is wrong." I looked at Brittany "Your dad has really been hurt by your mom. What if your plan backfires? What if he gets in touch with your mom, and somehow they work things out because of some silly letters you wrote? Do you have any guarantee she'll really be committed to him? How bad will he feel if he gets rejected by her again? All those hopes and dreams will come crashing down even harder than the first time."

Brittany just rolled her eyes at me and looked out my window.

I turned to Robyn. "Your dad is gone. Just imagine him up in the heaven looking down on you. Do you think he'd be pleased with this scheme of yours?"

"Don't even go there, Laurel. I'm sure my dad would be upset about my mom making out with a white guy. My father worked hard to be one of the first African American airplane pilots. But because of his color they gave him the crummy flights on old planes. He flew three-leg flights in bad weather, and one of those flights took his life. So I don't think he'd be happy if he knew my mom was in the arms of the enemy"

I took a deep breath and asked the Lord for wisdom in answering her. "I don't know, Robyn, I think a lot of the stuff we hold on to down here doesn't really matter up in heaven. I'm sure your dad would want your mom to be with someone who really cares for her. You said it's tough when mixed-race couples go out on dates and people stare at them. Do you think your mom would put up with that if

she didn't have strong feelings for this guy? She's already been devastated by the death of her husband. What you're doing will just add more burden to her."

"What I'm doing is going to be better for her in the long run. You don't have the right to stand in my face to tell me what's best for my mom."

"Then don't tell me your business," I snapped back.

Brittany turned and stared at me.

"I love you guys, but I can't be your friend anymore. What you're doing to your parents is wrong and I don't want to be part of it. Get out of my house, and don't come back." I stormed out of my room, leaving the door open for them to show themselves out.

It wasn't easy telling them to remove themselves from my life, but as I did I could almost hear cheering from up above.

After dinner that evening, Liam came up to me as I was doing the dishes. "I heard you tell your friends you didn't want to hang out with them anymore. I'm sorry"

Though Liam was younger than I was, he'd always been the strongest Christian of the four Shadrach children. He knew the Scriptures. He always did the right things, and for once I wasn't jealous of that. I used to hate that Liam made Dad so proud, but now I was proud of him too.

"I wish I could be the kind of Christian you are," I told him.

"I'm not perfect, either, so don't put me on a pedestal."

1 knew he was right. None of us is going to be perfect until we're with God.

"But now that you're aware that your friends have been weighing you down, the Lord will hold you accountable to that. You can't compromise anymore. He can only get the glory when you do it His way. Look for friends who believe in Him. You did the right thing today."

I gave Liam a hug.

The next day my mom took me shopping to pick out stuff for my dorm room. Because she was even more perfect than Liam, I'd often found it hard to be myself around her. But now it was different. We laughed and joked, and talked about God's miracles.

"You know," I said as we were driving between Target and J C Penney, "I don't know if I'll make it on the University of Georgia gymnastics squad, but if God wants me there I'll be there. And if He doesn't, I know He has something else great for me. I'm just excited to give it my all and to give Him the glory for whatever He does."

She gave me a huge smile, and when we got to Penneys, she bought me everything I asked for. I felt good all over.

When I got home with my tons of bags, my brothers teased me.

"I'm sure when we go to college, we won't have twenty bags," Luke said.

I tried calling Branson again that night, but got his machine again. I really wanted to have a talk with him so we could figure out what was going on with us. We were about to go to the same college, so we at least needed to have some understanding in our relationship. But how could I meet with a guy who didn't want to meet with me?

I decided to visit Bo and see what he thought.

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"Branson. Have you heard from him?"

"We talked."

"Then I guess you know the two of us are having some problems."

"No. Branson only talked about me and him."

"Oh. Well, what about you guys? Is he going to change his ways in order to hang out with you?"

"Unfortunately, no. He told me he wasn't ready for that. He didn't see himself getting close with the Lord anytime soon. He still has a lot of anger inside him."

I m sorry.

"Me too. But I'm not going to let him bring me down, even if that means I have to cut him loose."

My eyes stung with tears. I knew I had to do the same. God was giving me the confirmation I needed.

When 1 got back home, 1 tried Branson one more time. I couldn't believe he wasn't answering his phone.

Then 1 remembered Brittany told me about a party Jackson Reid was having that night. I knew Branson would be there. I asked my mom if I could borrow the car, and she said, "Fine, just be careful."

I drove around for a while just thinking. Was I really going to tell Branson it was over? How could 1 do that? Would 1 be jumping the gun? Was Branson really running in the opposite direction of God?

When I pulled up to Jackson's house, I saw Branson's car parked out front. 1 started feeling nervous. 1 knew there'd been booze and drugs at the party. I wondered what else 1 might encounter.

1 threaded my way through the crowd, determined to find Branson, get this over with, and hightail it out of there. I found him . . . sitting in a corner of a back room with one girl running her fingers through his hair and another one kissing him in a way I wouldn't dare. It took every ounce of dignity I had to contain the tears. I just let the anger fuel my determination to stick with my decision and start ending the romance.

dealing vith sorrow

i stood in the hallway outside the back bedroom, unable to hold back the tears as I watched Branson making out with strangers. 1 wanted to run over there and hit him. Kick him. Tell him off. Something. But I just stood there crying. Because I wouldn't go all the way with him, was he going to use one of these bimbos to replace me?

Look at him, 1 told myself. Look long and hard because you don't need to be in love with him anymore.

Suddenly one of the girls stopped kissing Branson and stared at me. Branson followed her gaze, and the second he spotted me he rudely pushed her off him. As he came toward me, I realized 1 had nothing to say to him. His actions had said our good-byes clearly. I turned around quickly and scrambled for my car.

As soon as I got the engine revving, Branson started banging on the hood. He reached through the open window and grabbed my keys out of the ignition.

"Let me go," I said.

"No. We need to talk. I didn't mean for you to find out this way."

"What way? How long has this been going on? 1 called you several times. You've had every opportunity to tell me it was over between us, but you couldn't do that. You chickened out. I had to track you down. And it's a good thing I found you or I would have been in the dark about our relationship."

He backed away from the car, still holding my keys. 1 got out, but didn't follow him down the street.

"Branson, I'm not playing with you. Now, give me my keys." He was acting like we were in elementary school, and it made me angry. There was nothing he could say that would make me change my stance on wanting out of our relationship, so I didn't know why he was playing this game. After he got about ten feet away, he stopped walking and turned around, finally noticing that I wasn't behind him.

"I'm not chasing you down, Branson. You cheated on me because you don't want to be with me."

"That's not true," he said, strolling back toward me. This reaction is what I've been waiting for. You came all the way out here to find me. You were in tears over me. That shows me you love me. I didn't want to be with those girls, but you made me think you didn't care about me. Now that I know you care, I really want you, Laurel."

"Yeah, 1 got that point a long time ago. But apparently what you really want is sex, with or without me." I snatched my keys out of his hands. "Well, you can play all your games without me. I'm living my life for God, Branson. There is no compromise, so go back to your party and have your fun."

I got in my car and slammed the door. Then I drove off. He ran after me for a few yards. Part of me wanted to stop the car and get out and hug him. But I couldn't do that. I was standing for God and He was going to give me strength. IcI gotten myself into this mess by falling in love with a non-

believer. But before he made me fall any further, 1 needed to jump ship.

When 1 got home, I made myself a hot bath. 1 tried washing away my feelings for Branson. 1 scrubbed my body as if I were removing all the filth he'd placed into my brain. Then 1 laid the washcloth over my face, hoping that when I removed it, 1 would think, Branson who? But that didn't happen. I just felt more depressed. In the middle of my crying, someone knocked quietly on the bathroom door.

"Go away," I moaned.

"I need to talk to you," Lance said.

"I'm in the tub."

"You've been in there long enough. Come on."

He wasn't taking no for an answer. So I got out of the tub, put on my robe, and opened the door.

"OK, I'm out," I grumbled. "What's so important?"

"One of my friends just called. He told me you were at some party and you and Branson broke up."

It's all over town already? "And did your friend tell you why?" I asked.

"He said you saw Branson with some other girls."

"That's right," I said. "So what?"

Lance hesitated. "I guess I just want to say that maybe I haven't been the best brother to you I could be."

"This has nothing to do with you, Lance."

"I know you and Branson have been having problems for awhile, particularly in the area of sex. Laurel, girls come on to him all the time. I see it because I'm around him at football practice. He always takes their phone numbers. I told him that wasn't cool, but obviously it didn't do much good. He's a jerk, Laurel. He doesn't deserve you, even though I know you really like him. I know this is breaking your heart, but you did the right thing by walking away from him. He might have embarrassed you by being with those girls, but you got the last word. Everybody from the party is talking about how he got what he deserved. He's a

laughingstock. I don't know if that gives you any consolation, but I wanted to tell you that."

Inwardly, it did help dry my tears.

"You're a good brother," 1 told him.

"I'm trying to be." He chuckled. "I know I've given you a hard time over the years, but I'm gonna miss you, Sis. When I grow up I want to be just like you."

"You kidder," I said as I tapped his chin.

Lance left so I could finish getting ready for bed. As I brushed my hair, I prayed. Lord, thanks for showing me that I'm going to be fine without Branson. I love You, Lord. I love my family, and I love myself so much that I know I don't deserve to be with a guy who can't appreciate my worth. Thanks for helping me see that.

"What are you guys doing here?" I said as I opened my front door the next day and saw Meagan, Brittany, and Robyn. Without a word, they passed me and let themselves in. I grabbed Meagan's arm. "You didn't tell me you were bringing anybody with you. I have nothing to say to those two."

"Well, we have something to say to you," Brittany replied.

"Then say it and leave."

"We know you and Branson broke up," Robyn said.

I wanted to scream, "Does the world know?"

"I'm OK, all right?"

Brittany snorted. "It's twelve o'clock and you're still in your pajamas. What are you doing? Sulking?"

"OK, so I'm not at my prettiest today. But I'm doing fine. And I don't need to discuss my personal life with you guys."

"Well, we've got some issues to discuss with you." Brittany went downstairs to the family room, with Robyn right behind her.

"I didn't want them here," I said to Meagan, "and I don't appreciate you tricking me."

"Come on, Laurel. Lighten up."

That's the problem. I'm always letting everyone else run

my life. Well, not anymore. If you can't respect my wishes, then Fm going to have to cut you off just like I did them."

"They want to tell you they're sorry."

"Oh," I said. "Well, that's different."

I went downstairs to hear what my friends had to say. 1 felt extremely humbled. 1 had missed them. 1 was hurting and I needed my friends. 1 appreciated that they wanted to apologize.

But what did that really mean? There was a reason I'd cut ties with the two of them. Brittany and Robyn needed to understand that and change their hearts before 1 could change my mind about wanting to be their friend.

"You were right," Brittany said, her eyes red from crying. "My dad is so mad at me, he's shipping me away to college early. 1 have to leave next week to go live with my aunt down in Florida. Can you believe that? My dad said I broke his heart twice and he doesn't want to be around me."

"So your plan didn't work, huh?" 1 asked.

"Oh, it worked," Robyn said. "We broke our parents apart with our little scheme."

"What happened?"

Brittany sniffed. "My dad told Robyns mom he had to cool down their relationship because he thought he might still have some feelings for his ex-wife. Of course that hurt Robyns mom a lot. Those letters we wrote really got to my dad. They opened some old wounds, and he reached out to Mom. Of course, she had no idea what he was talking about when he mentioned the letters. She told him he needed to move on because she was engaged. He was devastated."

"My mom doesn't know I had a part in it yet," Robyn said. "Brittany's dad doesn't know 1 was in on it, either. But I feel bad because my mom hasn't had anyone interested in her in a long time."

"We were only thinking about ourselves," Brittany said. "And all along we had a good friend who tried to help us, but we ignored her advice."

"It's been hard not being able to talk to you about everything that's been going on in my life," Robyn said.

"And that goes double for me," Brittany agreed.

"That goes for me too," Meagan added.

"I'm not mad at you, Meg."

"Well, I called you a couple of times and you didn't call me back. When Britt told me why you were mad at her, 1 realized I haven't been a model Christian either. Maybe I don't lead you down the wrong path as much as she does, but I don't help you walk with God either. So I started asking God to change me."

"You did that because of me?"

"1 need my friend Laurel," Meagan said. "My dad is planning to prosecute that fraternity house for what they did to me, and I'm going to have to give a deposition. I'm really nervous about my testimony, and I'd really like to have you around to hold my hand, pray for me, and give me the courage to face what I need to do. You're so strong, Laurel, and I know its not because of you alone. I really see the Holy Spirit in you, and I want that for myself."

Brittany and Robyn nodded in heartfelt agreement.

I didn't even try to hold back my tears. The thought of anybody being able to see Christ in me was like a miracle in my life. Their words gave me encouragement to keep doing what I needed to. I had let my friends go, and they had come back saying they needed my help in their lives. They didn't want me to abandon them. They wanted me to show them the way.

"We'll all be going our separate ways pretty soon," I said, "so we don't have much time to spend together. How would you all like to spend the night?"

All night we talked about our issues, our burdens, our problems. We wrote them down and prayed that the Lord would take those burdens away, and in faith we believed that was going to happen. It was a joyous night. Our friendship was finally formed on a solid foundation. We were building on a solid rock.

Our problems hadn't gone away. I was still broken up with Branson. Meagan was still worried about testifying and reliving that horrible night. Brittany's dad was still mad at her. And Robyn's mom was still sad. But we had hope and we had each other. Those two great things gave us peace.

A few days later I was sitting in my room reading my newest Robin Jones Gunn novel when I heard feet shuffling in the hall. I glanced up and saw my youngest brother, Luke, standing at my bedroom door.

"Do you need something?" I asked.

"I just wanted to ask you a question."

I put a bookmark between the pages. "Is everything OK?"

He took a step inside. "I just wanted to know if you'd like to go to a movie with me."

"What time does it start?" I asked.

"In about forty-five minutes."

"I'd love to go with you. What are we seeing? You know what? I don't even care. I'm just glad to be hanging out with my little brother."

"Really?" he said.

My new godly attitude, combined with the knowledge that I'd be leaving home soon to head off for college, made me happy to spend what little time I had left with my family Besides, Meagan and Brittany had gone to Florida, and Robyn had left for a vacation with her mom and her sister, Bunni. So I accepted my brother's invitation with great enthusiasm.

After the movies we went to Checkers and had banana splits.

"Do you think I'm a nerd?" he asked me.

"Why? Because you're smart? No, I think that's great. I wish I had your brains."

"You get good grades too," he said.

"Yeah, but I have to work hard to get them. It comes naturally to you." 1 scooped my spoon through the bowl, trying to get a little bit of all three topping flavors in one bite. "Why did you ask me that? What's going on with you?"

"Faigyn."

Fosters little sister and my youngest brother started seeing each other just before the shootout at school last fall. As a matter of fact, their feelings for each other had been the reason behind the tragedy, since the boy who started it all cared for Faigyn and saw how much she liked Luke.

"I've been meaning to ask you about her. Are you guys still together?"

"Sorta." He ate a big bite of ice-cream-covered banana before continuing his answer. "1 bought a Christian journal for her, but I'm a little nervous about giving it to her. I haven't seen her all summer. Ever since the shooting it's been kind of weird between us. I don't know if she even likes me anymore."

"Sometimes girls want to be pursued," 1 told him. "Just because you've had a cold period, that doesn't mean she doesn't like you. Have you called her?"

Luke shook his head.

"You should. But don't just invite her to the movies. Get into God's Word with her. Pray with her. There are no promises that you'll marry her, but you can be her friend for life and her brother in Christ always. I'm sure that would mean a great deal to a young lady who's had a lot of turmoil in her life. I mean, having an ex-boyfriend try to kill you is pretty horrible. But having one who cares about your soul more than any part of your body is awesome."

I could tell he was soaking up every word I said. "Thanks, Sis."

Though my little brother was smarter than all three of us, he was still a little green. I felt like I was doing my last sisterly duty, where he was concerned, before I went off to school. It felt great.

But I also felt a little sad. 1 really loved my family and the thought of leaving them bothered me.

"Do you think we could go see her right now?" Luke asked.

I hesitated. I could tell my brother really wanted to see Faigyn. But going to her house meant we would probably see her brother, Foster.

I looked into Luke's pleading eyes, and couldn't say no.

We pulled up to their house just as Foster was getting ready to leave for the airport. My brother ran in to give Faigyn her present.

Foster smiled when he saw me, and 1 became a little emotional. "So, you're about to leave, huh?"

"Yeah. Was there something you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

"Yes, there is. You're a great guy, Foster McDowell, and you cut it off with me because I wasn't ready to stand where you stood in your walk with Christ. I will always admire you for that, and I'll never forget it because it changed me. I went back to something I thought was better, but somewhere along the way the example you set stood out in my mind and caused me to do the same thing."

He looked puzzled.

"I broke it off with Branson," I said.

"I heard about that."

"To be honest, it's been hard, but—" Tears stopped my words.

Foster gave me a friendly hug. "You're doing the right thing. Thanks for telling me that I did too. I mean, I knew that, but it's good to hear it before our paths go in different directions. I've been praying for you and I'll continue to do that. God's got an awesome plan for your life and He's got a special guy for you. I wish it could have been me, but He's got somebody for me too. Let's write each other, OK?" He gave me his school address.

"I don't know mine yet, but I'll give it to you when I write."

"I'm proud of you for taking a stand with Branson. I thought if anybody could change him, you could. He really did seem to care about you. But I'm glad you didn't change for him."

Two days later I had said good-bye to everyone except Branson. I knew our paths would probably cross at school, but until then I had to stay focused. My grandparents had flown out to see me off, so my folks planned a great meal.

After lunch, Derek started telling us what the summer had meant to him. "I've never had a dad. I mean, I have a father, but I never knew him. He didn't go to any of my football games or anything. He never asked me about, my grades, women, or my walk with Christ. I didn't have a clue about what family functions were like. Seeing you guys, living with you and knowing what you mean to each other, has meant a lot to me. Now I want something greater for my life. I want to be a strong, godly man, and I pray that the Lord will give me a wife and children so I can make an impact on this world with my family like you, Rev. Shadrach. Since Laurel is about to leave, I'd like to encourage you all to open up and say what's on your hearts while you've got the chance."

Everyone took turns saying how much I meant to them. I responded by saying, "I love you all too. And even though I won't be with you in this house, you will all be with me in my heart. Dad, I'll hear your voice telling me what's right and wrong. Mom, I'll hear you whispering guidance into my ear. And I'll hear my brothers saying the nutty things you always say. I'll feel the prayers of my grandparents. And thanks to you, Derek, I'll never take my family for granted again because I saw them through your eyes."

"Why are you crying?" Luke asked.

They're tears of joy," I said, "and believe it or not, I'm enjoying dealing with sorrow."

fouRteeN

choosing my way

my parents had been waiting on me for two hours, but every time I thought I was ready I remembered something else I needed to take or something I wasn't sure I'd packed. When my mom opened the front door and asked me one more time if I was ready, I said, "You know what? I'm not. I've changed my mind. I don't want to go to college. I thought I was ready to be on my own, but I was wrong."

Mom held my hand and tugged me down to the floor. We knelt together and she prayed.

"Lord, my daughter is having a case of the jitters here. It's time for her to go off to college, but she doesn't want to leave the nest. A part of me doesn't want her to go either. But I know there's no need for either of us to fear because You're with us always and You know how to care for what belongs to You. My daughter is Your child. You've given her to me for all these years, and I'm thankful for that. But now it's time for her to fly on her own. Help her, Lord, to know

that You're going to be with her, and remind her that we're just forty-five miles away if she needs us. Now is not the time for her to change her mind. Help her to build her future beyond these walls and to live out Your purpose for her life. Help her to make wise choices, Lord."

My mom stopped and sniffled, so 1 continued. "Lord, bless my mom. Help her be strong while I'm away. Thank You, Lord, for giving me such great parents. Give them peace and comfort. And give me strength. I'm a little nervous right now, but talking to You helps me regain my focus. Thank You, Lord. Amen."

We squeezed each other's hands and stood. "I'm ready to go now," I said. "I think I have everything I need."

My dad drove the family van so all three of my brothers could ride along. The car was quiet. No one talked. I didn't want my last few moments with them to be like a funeral. I had to break the ice. I wanted to make the ride fun. So I started singing "My Favorite Things" from The Sound oj Music. After every verse I said, "I love you guys."

When we entered the Athens city limits, I saw a Cracker Barrel restaurant. That was one of my favorite places to eat, so I pointed it out.

"Are you guys hungry already?" Dad asked.

My mother had just fed us a great lunch, but no one wanted to say good-bye yet. "I bet they've got blackberry cobbler," Mom suggested.

They did, and it was scrumptious. "Hey, why don't you guys all give me some last-minute advice."

"You never want to hear what we have to say," Lance teased.

"I know. But forget the past. I'm asking for some now. Everybody tell me something. Not a whole paragraph, but something quick."

Luke started off. "Don't party too hard, but study real hard."

My dad bopped him on the head. "She'd better not be partying at all."

"I think you should go to the parties," Lance said. That's where you'll meet new friends. Enjoy college. Have fun. Just be sure it's the right kind of fun."

Liam said, "Like the song we were just singing, whenever life gets tough and things aren't going the way you want, remember the good stuff. Like your family"

My mom said, "Remember our prayer. No matter what, God is always there."

"All good advice," my dad said. "Well, some of it," he added, grimacing at Lance. "Whatever you do, wherever you go, be a light. Keep choosing God daily. Listen to the Holy Spirit. You're going to be tested in college. You thought your high school years were crazy. Get ready for a lot more. You can handle it only if you let God lead, and if you follow nothing else but Him."

As we left the restaurant, Mom told Liam to get in the front so she could sit beside me. I leaned my head on her shoulder.

"There it is," Liam said as we approached my new home.

As my brothers unloaded my stuff I felt my knees getting weak.

"Baby," Dad said, "I'm proud of you." He handed me a checkbook.

"Dad!"

"There's three thousand dollars in the account. Manage it wisely. We don't want you to have to work this year. We'd rather you concentrate on school." My dad started getting all choked up.

"Don't cry," 1 said.

"I wish 1 could give you a car."

"Dad, your prayers for me are worth more than a car any day."

My family helped carry my bags to the main entrance, but dorm rules wouldn't allow my brothers past the lobby. So Mom and Dad and I toted my bags down the hall to my first-floor dorm room.

"Looks like you already have a roommate," Mom said as we stepped through the open door.

Please, Lord, 1 prayed, let her know You.

"She has nice taste," Mom said, checking out the maroon comforter on the bed farthest from the door. She opened one of the closet doors. "She's neat too. Good sign."

"Mom!"

As I dumped my bags onto the floor by the empty closet, I called out, "Hello? Is anybody here?"

A girl came out of the bathroom. To my great surprise she was black. 1 don't know why 1 thought black people wouldn't go to this school. I guess I just wasn't thinking. She was really pretty. Beautiful brown skin and a pleasant smile. But she seemed nervous. Maybe she'd wanted a black roommate.

She lingered in the bathroom doorway, so 1 went up to her. "I'm Laurel Casey Shadrach," I said, holding out my hand to her. "I'm from Conyers."

"Hi," she said, shaking my hand. "I'm Payton Autumn Skyy."

"What a lovely name," Mom said. "Where are you from?"

"Augusta, ma'am," my new roommate said.

I grinned, knowing how impressed Mom would be with being called "ma'am."

"Well, Payton from Augusta," Dad said, "it's lovely to meet you." His eyes glanced at the Bible on the desk beside the maroon-covered bed. "Laurel, seems like you were blessed with a pretty nice young lady for a roommate. 1 know you gals are going to get along just fine."

My dad gave me a short pep talk about how we should look out for each other. Then he said they'd better get back

to my brothers. They wished my new roommate the best and started to leave.

u Let me walk you to the door," 1 suggested.

"No, you stay and get to know your new roommate," Mom said. "You already said good-bye to everyone. We'll call you when we get home."

The minute the door closed, I flopped onto the bed. All the tears I'd been holding back finally fell. Payton handed me a tissue.

"Thanks," I said. "I'm not usually such a big baby."

"Don't worry. I did the same thing about an hour ago."

"Maybe there's hope for me then," 1 said with a small smile.

We talked while Payton helped me get my side of the room together. It turned out we had a lot in common. She was the oldest in her family. She had a younger brother named Perry, who was two years younger that she, the same age as Lance. And she had two ex-boyfriends going to Georgia.

1 laughed. "And I thought I had problems with just one." I told her about Branson, and how he didn't make it on the football team because of an injury.

"My guys are both on the team," Payton said. "They're battling over the same spot: starting tailback."

I told Payton about my girlfriends and my family.

"Hey, you want to pray?" I suggested.

She nodded, and we bowed our heads. But before we could really get started, I heard loud voices coming from the bathroom.

"What's that?" I asked.

"We share a bathroom with two other girls."

"Really?" I wasn't really excited about the prospect of sharing a bathroom with three girls. Sharing with three brothers had been bad enough. I sighed and continued the prayer.

Just after I said "amen," a female voice said "amen," too, with a Southern drawl.

I opened my eyes and saw a slightly overweight girl with very curly strawberry blond hair standing at the bathroom door. She looked rather plain, but with a little bit of makeup I could tell she would be beautiful.

"I'm Anna," she said in a cute country voice.

Before we could say anything, Anna was distracted by a noise from the other room. "What are you doing?" Anna shouted. "Put my stuff back on the bed."

Payton and I followed Anna through the bathroom and into the adjoining room. There I saw a very cute redhead. Her mid-length hair looked like Meagan's, but her attitude reminded me of Brittany. 1 could tell from all her trunks she had money.

"I don't want to be on this side," the red-haired girl screeched. "I'm moving my stuff to the other side."

"You can't do that, Jewels," Anna said. "I was here first. My stuff is already set up." Anna threw Jewels's stuff on the floor.

I thought these two girls were going to get into a fist fight, so 1 tried to be a peacemaker. "Hey, guys, there's got to be a way to work this out."

Jewels glared at Payton and me. "You two just worry about what happens on your side of the bathroom and not about what goes on over here."

Payton stepped in. "Well, if you two would talk to each other with some respect, and not yell and scream so we could hear you from our side of the room, we wouldn't have to be in your business. We came over here so we can all get along, since we're all sharing a bathroom."

'That doesn't mean we have to share the same space," Jewels said. "When you're in there, I won't be."

"Fine, then," Payton said. "Let me get out of your space right now." She stormed out of the room.

I started to follow her, but Jewels said, "Wait. Stay and talk to us. Are you doing the sorority thing?"

I couldn't believe how quickly this ranting girl could

switch to sounding so sweet. But I figured it would be a good idea to try to make friends with her. "I'm planning on checking it out. My moms an Alpha Gamma."

"My mom was, too, and my sister still is. That's my first choice. Anna and I are planning to pick up the sorority information, and then we're going to grab a bite to eat. You want to join us?"

"Maybe. Let me see what my roommate wants to—" "Come on. She doesn't need you to hold her hand." Jewels was being pushy, but a quick glance into my room told me that Payton had left. So I gave in, hoping I wouldn't regret it.

"Why didn't we just go to the cafeteria?" I asked Jewels and Anna as they drove around trying to find a restaurant they liked.

"My sister says no one eats at the cafeteria," Jewels bragged.

I didn't want to blow my dads checking account money on food. I had a cafeteria card, so that was where I planned on eating, even if I was the only one.

"Surely somebody eats there."

"Yeah," Jewels replied. "Losers!" She pulled her brand-new Ford Mustang into a Red Lobster parking lot.

"I don't think I can afford this," I said.

"It's crowded anyway," Anna said. "Lets go to the Cracker Barrel."

"I will not go there," Jewels said with disgust.

Though I had just eaten there with my family, I could do it again. "I think it's a great idea."

After giving me a sideways glance, Jewels reluctantly drove out of the Red Lobster parking lot and down the street toward the Cracker Barrel.

As we got out of the car, I saw my family's van pulling out of the parking lot. I ran up to it and my dad parked in the nearest space. Everyone tumbled out of the car.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

Lance chuckled. "We got halfway home and Luke realized he'd left his wallet here. So we came back, and then we decided to eat dinner."

"How'd you get here?" my mom asked.

"I rode with my new suite mates, Anna and Jewels." I turned around and found them standing right behind me. I introduced my new friends to my family.

Jewels told my mom that her mother was also an Alpha Gamma. She complimented my brothers on how handsome they were. Her model-citizen act made me want to vomit.

"So, Laurel, this must be your older brother," she said, eyeing my dad.

When he started to blush, my mom elbowed him in the side.

"That's my father, Reverend Shadrach," I corrected her.

"Reverend!" She instantly dropped the flirting. "You don't have to worry about Laurel, sir. I'll make sure she does what she's supposed to."

If she's going to be watching over me, I'll probably be expelled in a week, I thought.

Dad gave me a twenty-dollar bill and told us to have dessert on him. I hugged him and kissed him. "I'm going to miss you guys," I said for the zillionth time that day.

"Well, it looks like you've met some pretty nice young ladies," Dad said.

I wanted to thank the Lord for allowing me one more chance to see my family, but I wasn't sure it was a good thing. I mean, I was about to cry all over again when I saw them pull out of the restaurant and head toward Conyers.

Anna took my hand. "Come on. Let's eat."

As we had dinner, Anna talked about her fears, which were very similar to mine. Jewels just laughed at us. When Anna mentioned that she was self-conscious, and she didn't like her parents, and she hated being from a single-parent home, Jewels smirked. I wanted to strangle her.

I told Anna that my dad was a pastor, and that made things difficult for me sometimes. Before 1 could say anything else, Jewels started bragging about how great her life was.

"My dad is a builder. 1 have one older sister, named Julie Anne. Georgia wasn't my first choice, but since it's where my parents and my sister went to school, I got a new car when 1 agreed to come here." The more she talked, the more 1 knew she was not my kind of friend. But I realized college would introduce me to all kinds of people, and they wouldn't all be my type.

When Jewels stopped talking long enough to take a sip of her soda, 1 said, "You know, Anna, there are things I don't like about myself." She looked at me like she wanted me to name one. "But I don't like going into negatives because I prefer to focus on the positives. That's why we're in school, to become the best women we can be. We all have room to grow," I said, glancing at Jewels. "So don't worry about who you are today. Look forward to who you're going to be tomorrow"

Anna smiled for the first time all evening. "Hey," she said, "Would you like to go to a freshman party with us? The fraternities and sororities are having a mixer tonight for all the new people interested in pledging."

"Sounds great," I said.

When we got back to the dorm to change for the party, I heard screaming and yelling. Then I recognize Payton's voice. I opened the door to my room, but Payton was nowhere in sight. I could still hear her hollering, so I checked the bathroom. Anna checked the closet.

Jewels pulled back the curtain and looked out the window. "Come here and look at this."

I peeked over her shoulder and saw two black guys in the yard, fighting. Payton was standing there screaming.

"Man, I told you to leave her alone," the darker guy said, his hand around the other guy's throat.

"What are they doing?" Anna said.

"Look at that guys thighs," Jewels said.

As the argument got louder and more heated, people started gathering around.

"You two have to stop," Payton cried. "This is crazy."

"See what you're doing, man?" the darker guy said. The other one socked him in the stomach, then went over to Payton.

"Get away from me, Dakari," she said.

1 recognized the name from our talk that afternoon. Dakari was the boyfriend Payton had told me about who dumped her at the beginning of the year for some new girl at school.

"Tad, no!" Payton yelled as the other guy pushed Dakari against our window Anna and Jewels and 1 jumped back from the impact. Dakari managed to turn things around so Tads back was up against the window. Then Dakari pulled back his fist, but Tad moved his head at the last second and Dakaris fist went straight through the glass.

"Payton, what's going on?" 1 screamed out the broken window

"Get me a towel," she hollered, stooping to check Dakaris hand.

1 grabbed one of the maroon towels from our bathroom and tossed it out the broken window to her. Tad tried to wrap it around Dakaris bleeding hand, but Dakari lashed back at him.

Before the two of them could get into another brawl, the campus police showed up. Two uniformed officers took both guys away in a squad car.

"Well, that was interesting," Jewels said, heading back to her room. "We'd better hurry up and get ready for that party. We have to leave in twenty minutes."

1 wanted to scream. "You guys go ahead. I'm not going to be ready on time."

"Whatever," Jewels grumbled from the other side of our suite.

1 rushed outside to try to help Payton. But 1 couldn't find her anywhere. So 1 went back to the room, stopping at the resident assistants room to get a broom, dustpan, masking tape, and a roll of cellophane. I picked up all the big pieces of broken glass and tossed them into the waste-basket, then swept up the rest and poured them in too. I covered the window with the cellophane, affixing it to the window frame with plenty of masking tape.

After returning the supplies, I checked outside again. 1 still saw no sign of Payton.

At that moment, I knew what the Lord wanted me to do, and 1 was determined to do it. On my very first day at school, 1 could clearly see the walk God wanted me to walk, and I was choosing His way.

f I f t

e e n

«•

understanding vhat counts

as I started to walk back into the dorm, I heard snickering from four white girls who were pointing at the broken window. I remembered seeing them in the crowd watching Tad and Dakari fight. So I strolled up to them and said, "Hi."

"Hi," they said back, still giggling.

"You guys, that was my roommate, Payton Skyy. I don't really know her yet, but she's really hurting. Do you think you could give her a break and not laugh at her painful situation?"

"Sure," one said.

"We were about to go inside anyway," another added.

"What's your name?" a third girl asked.

We all introduced ourselves, and I found out that these girls lived on the fourth floor.

This dorm is bad luck now," one of the girls said.

"Bad luck?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah," she said. "If something really dramatic happens on the first day, its a bad sign."

"I'm a Christian," I told her. "I believe that God controls things. He can do whatever He wants. There's no such thing as luck."

"I hope you're right," she said as they walked away.

When I returned to my room, I was surprised to see Anna and Jewels still there.

"So, are you ready to go?" Jewels asked.

"I told you guys you could go without me."

"We didn't want to," Anna said. "We heard you talking to those girls outside. That was really nice."

"It was cool of you to fix the window too," Jewels added.

"So we figured we could wait for you. If you hurry up and get dressed, we can still all go together."

"Give me five minutes," I said.

They closed the door and I searched my closet for the right thing to wear.

Lord, I prayed as I got dressed, I don't know what's waiting for me at this party, but I know the only way I can survive is if You come with me. Please make me light in the darkness.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I look cute, I thought, a little surprised. And it wasn't just my adorable dress. I could see the Holy Spirit inside me, shining brightly. I didn't have to go anywhere alone because I was one with God.

I went through the bathroom to join my suite mates in their room. Jewels was fixing Anna's hair. "I just don't think having a black roommate will help me get into one of the more prestigious sororities," Jewels said.

"You're probably right," Anna agreed.

"That is so racist," I said.

Jewels and Anna turned around, obviously just noticing that I had joined them.

"It's not just the fact that she's black," Jewels said. "Look at the kind of people she hangs out with. Those boyfriends of hers were fighting like animals."

"You can take people out of the ghetto," Anna said, "but you can't take the ghetto out of people."

1 stared at them, unable to come up with a good response.

"Maybe you should start looking for a new roommate, Laurel," Anna suggested. "1 mean, your reputation could be damaged. Besides, you don't want to room with someone who can't understand who you are."

"Are either of you guys Christians?" 1 asked.

"I'm Catholic," Anna said.

"What does being a Christian have to do with anything?" Jewels asked. "We're talking about getting into a sorority, not heaven. That roommate of yours is going to ruin all of our chances. Since you kinda made friends with her, maybe you can tell her in a nice way to move out and find a different room."

"I'm not going to do that," I said, angry that she would even think such a thing.

Jewels glared at me. "If you can't ask her nicely, I'll just tell her to get out."

I took a deep breath to calm my emotions. "I want to pledge to a sorority too. Alpha Gamma is my first choice, but if that doesn't work out, it's OK. Showing Christ's love to people is far more important. And to be honest, I'd rather be Payton's roommate than yours any day."

Jewels and Anna stared at me with their mouths open.

1 was on a roll. I could feel God speaking to them through me, so I kept going. "Payton needs a friend right now. If you guys aren't up for it, that's fine, but I am. And don't tell me what's good for me because you don't know the same God I do."

1 turned around and stormed back to my room. When I tromped through the bathroom doorway, I saw Payton sitting on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Did you hear all that?" I asked.

She nodded.

I sat beside her. "Payton, you do know the God I know, and He can give you the strength to face the tough stuff. It wasn't easy telling those girls over there that I don't care what they think. A couple of years ago, I wouldn't have been able to say that. Back then, I didn't let the power inside me work, but it's working now I'm still struggling in some areas. Believe me, I've got problems. But when I tap into the Holy Spirit and let His light shine, I amaze myself sometimes."

Payton shot looks of hatred through the bathroom at our suite mates. "I can't stand those two girls," she seethed.

"I understand how you feel. But I'm not going to give up on Jewels and Anna. There's something wrong with the way they perceive stuff, but they need to know about God too. Until they do, we have to help them."

"I know you're right," Payton said, calming down a bit. "Thanks for straightening me out." She looked into the other room, this time with sadness. "And thanks for sticking up for me in there."

I smiled. "We've got to encourage each other. I'm sure there's going to be a time when I need you to stick up for me."

We gave each other a hug. "I still want to go to that sorority mixer," I said. "You want to come?"

"No," she said, wiping her eyes. "I think I'll stay here. Tad or Dakari might call."

I prayed with her, then joined Anna and Jewels next door.

"Is she OK?" Anna asked.

"She will be," I said with confidence.

The outdoor block party had tons of people milling around, and one of the first ones I saw was Branson Price. Why did he look so good? He wore a white tank top and his muscles bulged out in all the right places. I wanted to go up to him and say, "Hey, here I am! The one who loves you." But I

did a quick reality check and started walking through the crowd, far away from him.

"Wait," Jewels said. "Why are you walking so fast? We've got to check out these sororities." She flipped through several brochures. "This one looks like the most elite," she said, pointing to one, "because they only take girls who have really high GPAs. But that one," she said, pointing to a different brochure, "says they have the most girls who become homecoming queen."

Maybe this isn't jor me after all, 1 thought.

I kept walking with Jewels, and gradually her voice faded. When I turned around she was gone. After a quick look, I found her. She was standing five feet away from me, talking to Branson. She was twirling her hair with her fingers and swaying her hips. If I stood back and did nothing a few seconds longer, 1 figured the two of them might become an item. So 1 took a deep breath and strode up to them.

"You have a girlfriend?" 1 heard Jewels say as I stepped closer. "No freshman comes to college already attached."

"There she is," he said, looking my way.

Jewels turned. "Where? I don't see anybody." She was looking me right in the eye. Obviously she didn't think this fine guy could possibly be talking about me. And I couldn't believe he was referring to me as his girlfriend.

"Hi, Laurel." Branson planted a kiss on my cheek.

"This is your girlfriend?" Jewels asked. "Did you know she's a Christian, and her dad's a pastor? She seems way too stuffy for you."

"Jewels, could we have some space?" I said.

"Fine, fine, fine." She turned to Branson. "We're suite mates, so if things don't work out between you guys, you know where to find me."

"Jewels!"

She shrugged and sauntered off.

"So I see you've already made some friends here," Bran-

son said. His eyes looked bloodshot and he stumbled over his words.

"What's going on with you?" 1 asked. 1 didn't smell any alcohol on his breath, nor did I get any hint of mint cover-up.

"Laurel," he said, "our whole town is laughing at me because of what you did. At first I was pretty mad at you. But then I realized I had it coming for making out with other girls. I'm sorry about that."

He was saying the things I wanted to hear, but something wasn't right. He was different somehow, and not in a good way.

"Why aren't you saying anything, Laurel? Didn't you miss me too?"

He reached out to hug me. I tried to get away, but wasn't fast enough. He swooped me up in his arms. Though I couldn't place the aroma, he smelled a little funny. Then some guy I'd never seen bumped into us.

"There you are, man. I been looking all over for you. Hey, I see you found a babe. Well, bring her along. I don't wanna smoke this alone."

I pushed Branson off of me. "Have you been using drugs?"

He blinked at me. His friend chuckled.

"What do you take me for? Coming on to me like you missed me when you're not even thinking clearly. This is insulting, Branson." I started to storm off, but he grabbed my arm.

"Wait!" he called.

"Get off me." I pulled my arm out of his grasp. "And get off the drugs. You think you're so hip. Well, your fancy words won't work this time. You haven't changed."

"Are you gonna let her talk to you like that?" the jerk with the drugs asked.

Branson looked around and noticed a crowd had started watching us. I didn't care, but I could tell he was embarrassed.

His face turned red and he threw his hands up. "Forget you!

I let him have what was left of his pride and watched him walk away.

"You're so judgmental," Jewels said, sidling up to me. "You shouldn't get on his case about partying. It's only a matter of time before you have some fun yourself."

1 knew she was right. 1 was hanging out in the same scene, which made me no better than Branson. Sure, I hadn't yielded to temptation yet, but it was all around me. I felt like a hypocrite.

"I'll see you back at the dorm," I told her.

"You shouldn't walk around campus alone."

Til be OK," I grumbled.

I didn't mean to snap at her, but I had issues to deal with. I'd been telling Payton what she should do, and now 1 was telling Branson, when I really needed to look at myself.

A girl who looked a little older than I stopped me as 1 started to pass her. "Hi, I'm Liza. I'm the pledge master for from Alpha Gam, and I wanted to tell you I was really impressed by what you said to that guy. All the other sororities and fraternities are into crazy stuff, but we at Alpha Gam are about community service and enjoying our college years in legal ways. You're somebody I'd really like to have in our organization. I hope you'll consider Alpha Gam."

"Thanks," I said to her. She had me intrigued, but at the moment I just wanted to get back to my dorm room.

All the way back, I thought I heard footsteps following me. I kept looking around, but didn't see anything suspicious.

/ have to get it together.

1 concentrated on the beautiful Georgia sky It was dark purple and filled with twinkling stars. I felt like angels were up there winking at me, telling me, "It's going to be OK. We're up here watching you."

I got to my new home safely, but I vowed to God that I

would not do that again. On the way down the hall to my room, I prayed for Branson and for Payton. I also prayed for Pay tons ex-boyfriends, Tad and Dakari.

Payton wasn't in the room when I got there. I hoped she was OK. I took a shower, then wrapped my wet hair in a towel, put on my bathrobe, and relaxed on the bed. I turned on my Christian music softly, happy to have a moment of peace.

I hadn't been perfect that day, but I wasn't the weak girl I used to be. I could see myself growing, and that gave me peace.

I woke up to someone shaking me.

"We need to talk." Jewels stood over me like an old mother hen.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Ten o'clock. Why?"

"I thought you guys were going to be at the party all night."

"I planned to, but then my sister told me the sororities want their potential pledges not to stay out late. Some old-fashioned thing about good girls being in before ten. So here we are. But come on. We have some things to talk about."

She grabbed my arm and yanked me all the way to her side of the suite.

"Ow," I said.

Jewels plopped me down on her bed beside Anna. "I just want to tell you that I'm sorry I called you judgmental."

She didn't really sound apologetic. It seemed to me she was just doing it because she had to.

"So, what's so important that you had to drag me all the way over here?"

"My sister told me a lot of her sorority sisters thought you were really impressive standing up to that guy. The

word is, the Alpha Gams really want you. When 1 mentioned to my sister that your father was a pastor, she said they really, really want you. I guess a girl who just graduated had a dad who was a pastor, and he used to come up here and do programs for them, and pray for their sorority, and counsel the girls. Now they don't have that anymore, so they feel like they could use you."

"Really?" 1 said.

"There was one thing they thought was kind of bad, though."

"They didn't think that," Anna corrected. "Just your sister."

Jewels glared at Anna. "They're not even into you, so just hush."

Anna looked dejected, and 1 felt bad for her.

"Anyway, my sister thought that you rooming with an African American girl wasn't. . . you know ..."

She didn't finish her sentence, but I knew what she was implying.

"Most of the sororities like for their girls to room with other girls from the same sorority."

"That part is true," Anna said.

"I just think we'd all have a better chance if you got another roommate. It wouldn't be that hard. You don't have to say you want to switch rooms because she's black. Just make up something. Payton seems really down anyway. She might want to room with a girl who can understand her culture."

I stared at Jewels, unable to believe what 1 was hearing. "Let me tell you something," 1 said, standing. "I would rather room with a Christian girl, regardless of her color, than someone who doesn't know the Lord." 1 said it in a sweet but firm way, and their mouths dropped open. "Good night." I grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, but my door wouldn't open. 1 pushed harder and 1 found Payton on the other side in tears.

"You don't have to room with me," she said.

"Didn't you hear what 1 told them?" I said, leading her to

the bed. "Payton, one of my best girlfriends in high school was a black girl. Her name is Robyn. I helped her get through some really difficult times. I had to stop being her friend for awhile because she and my other friend, Brittany, were doing stupid stuff over race issues. But God allowed them to come back to me." 1 took Payton's brown hand in my white one. "You are a far better roommate than those white girls next door could ever be. Jewels thinks she has everything, and Anna is desperately hoping to get something. What they both need is Jesus Christ in their hearts."

Pay ton choked back a sob. She didn't seem ready to talk, so I continued. "You and I can help each other. We're family because we're sisters in Christ."

She gave me a hug.

"All of our problems have already been answered at the Cross. Jesus Christ died for our sins. As long as we're connected to Him, we have no worries, no fear, no problems, no doubts, and no anxiety because the price for all of that was paid on Calvary. All we have to do is believe it and run to Him every time. Run to Him for strength, guidance, joy, help, and peace."

Though I hadn't taken one college class yet, I was already learning great lessons. Life wasn't about being black or white, or rich or poor. It was about being rich in the Word of God and being cleansed by the blood of Jesus.

While Payton took a shower, I grabbed the Bible off my nightstand. 1 read the passage about being equally yoked, and I knew God was showing me through His Word that I needed to be equally yoked in all areas of my life. I had to bind myself together with people who believed the same things I did. I needed people who loved God to help me live more like Christ.

I closed the Bible and crossed over to the window, which had been fixed as good as new. I opened it and looked outside, smelling the sweet night air. The sky was beautiful and peaceful. The stars, my angels, were still up

there twinkling at me. I thanked God for helping me to stand for Him, even in tough times. 1 didn't know what might happen next in my life, but 1 knew God was going to walk the next step with me. My life was great because 1 belonged to the King. 1 was finally understanding what counts.

Stephanie Perry Moore & Moody Publishers

Purit y Reigns-

ISBN: 0-8024-4035-5

Laurel Shadrach Series

Laurel Shadrach is looking forward to her senior year being picture perfect! Her optimism turns sour when Branson begins to pressure her. She wants to keep the man she loves, but making a choice between obeying God and giving in to the desires of her flesh is difficult. Will Laurel let her desires for Branson come between her and God? Will the pressure she feels from Branson destroy her relationships with her family and friends? Will Laurel have the courage to say no to the man she loves?

Totally Free-

Laurel Shadrach Series

There is never a dull moment in the ever-changing events of Laurel's life as she finds herself dealing with the effects of alcohol abuse on friends, family, and a community; a brother who is controlled by the excitement of gambling; and the peer pressures of giving in to sexual urges. Will Laurel continue to bear this heavy burden of secrecy and tolerance alone? Will the Lord show Himself faithful even in these difficult situations?

L a u r e L

■s h a d r a e h s e r i e s

stepi-iaNie peRRy moORe

ISBN: 0-8024-4036-3

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