NATALIE WAGNER, random freshman: This was the haircut heard ’round the world.

BECCA HORN, random freshman: I’m sorry, I will not comment on Avery Dennis’s haircut. I will not comment on anyone’s haircut. I have standards.

BIZZY STANHOPE: Avery looked like a boy. Like a twelve-year-old boy. And only days before prom! For the first time, I really believed in the power of The Secret. I had put it out into the universe, and it happened. Avery was ruined. No one was going to put a prom queen tiara on that freshly shorn head. She looked like Anne Hathaway in Les Miz. But with slightly better teeth.

CRESSIDA SCHROBENHAUSER-CLONAN: I couldn’t imagine a less interesting topic of conversation than Avery Dennis’s hair. And yet, it was all anyone could talk about. Incredibly annoying.

NATALIE: I swear to God, when Avery walked into school, it fell completely silent. Jaws dropped. People stared.

COCO: It was so brave. It was so fierce! She completely pulled it off. Her cheekbones looked amazing.

CRESSIDA: Did I care about Avery Dennis’s haircut? Absolutely not. I had more important things to worry about—like trying to beat out Hutch for valedictorian. Everyone knows salutatorian is Latin for “not quite good enough.”

HUTCH: It looked good. I think AD hides behind her hair sometimes … It was nice to see her face. Her whole face. All the time.

CRESSIDA: You should have seen the way Hutch looked at her when she walked into bio. It was … well. As I said before. Annoying.

Editor’s Note: I don’t know what she’s talking about. Hutch barely looked at me and all he said was, “I hope you remembered your notes for the open-book quiz,” so I pulled them out and waved them in his face. What kind of amateur does he think I am?

COCO: One time I cut my hair shortish, like in a bob, and Nana Kim said, “Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts.” Which turned out to be a Jim Morrison quote. I kept my hair long after that.

NATALIE: Avery had this, like, wise smirk on her face the whole time, like she knew exactly what everyone was thinking. Like she had made them think it. My God, she’s a genius. If I cut all my hair off, I’m completely sure no one would care.

BIZZY: Everyone knows men prefer long hair. It’s in, like, every issue of Cosmo ever printed. Sometimes they even show pictures of celebrities and ask men which look they prefer, and it’s long hair. Always. Every single time. Avery must have realized there was absolutely no way she could find a date for the prom. She did the smart thing and gave up. It was time for her to get some pleated pants and a subscription to Cat Fancy magazine.

Editor’s Note: I already have a cat named Fromage, and he is a delight. And if Bizzy knew anything about cats, she would know that Cat Fancy rebranded itself as Catster, and all their good content is online. SO WHO NEEDS A SUBSCRIPTON ANYWAY, BIZZY?!

HUTCH: What did I like better? You mean the short hair or the long hair? I don’t know. AD was still AD. Hair is just hair. The short hair, I guess, if I had to pick? At least now you could see her face.

TRIPP GOMEZ-PARKER: Was she still hot? Good question. But actually, no question. There are certain kinds of hotness that cannot be dimmed. It would take a lot to make Avery Dennis un-hot. Like what? Um, I don’t know. Rabies?

Editor’s Note: Maybe Coco should go to the prom alone, too.

NATALIE: It was absolutely and completely insane. Avery’s hair was her thing. Her signature look. Her trademark. Like, who even was Avery Dennis without her long blond hair?

Editor’s Note: That is exactly what I was hoping to find out.