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AS I TRIPPED OVER A stack of papers, the box of shoes I was carrying slipped from my fingers and burst open on the floor. I threw up my hands in exasperation and glared at Eric, who was sitting petulantly on the couch.
“Would you get over yourself already and help me with these boxes?!”
“I’m trying my best to help you move.”
I flipped my hair back in frustration and sank down amongst the stilettos, piling them haphazardly back into the cardboard. “Rose!”
“You two work it out yourselves,” she called from somewhere in the bathroom. “I’m not getting in the middle of it again. The last time I tried, you disinherited me and Eric started a vengeance-campaign to sleep with all my ex-boyfriends.”
He grinned cockily, stretching back on my bed. “You’d be surprised how many of them were willing to try something new...”
I threw a slipper at him and leaned back on my heels with a sigh. Since returning from the Bahamas three days ago, my world had spun completely upside-down. I’d decided to embrace my idea of a brighter future and a fresh start whole-heartedly, and although my friends had all had time by now to adjust, some of them were blatantly refusing to get on board.
The slipper came flying back and stuck me in the eye. I stuffed it into the bag with another stifled sigh. Eric was one of the stubborn ones.
It all started when I accepted the job offer to California...
I had done it on a whim, without really thinking. I’d been sitting on the plane, Eric drooling on my shoulder as I sorted absentmindedly through my purse, when all at once, I came across the card with the extension number for the California office. I remembered holding it up in surprise. With the excitement of the crazy weekend, I’d quite forgotten all about it. Eric shifted in his sleep and I stuffed it quickly in my pocket. I didn’t want to be caught looking at it and have to explain, but I didn’t want to put it down either. Instead, I started thinking about it the whole flight back, turning it over and over in my jacket pocket.
When we landed back at JFK, I sent Eric and Rose off for the bags and went to a payphone by the information counter.
“Um...yes, this is Jenna Harks?” I phrased it as a question, suddenly wondering why the hell I was even calling. “I’m returning a call for Sue Jennings...”
And just like that—the job was set. The first stepping stone for my clean slate fell into place, and by the time I joined my friends at the baggage check, I was already dreaming of the sunny beaches in California.
Telling everyone was a different matter altogether...
“You’re what?!” Rose had shrieked.
I’d decided it would be best to tell her in a pubic setting where she couldn’t make a scene, so she and I were sitting at our favorite sushi restaurant near the office.
In hindsight...I didn’t know why I thought she wouldn’t make a scene.
“I start next week,” I said quietly. “Rose, you have to understand, you have a life here, you have a future. Me? I just have a job—”
“Yes,” she hissed, “you have your dream job, living in your dream city, with your best friend as a roommate. What more do you want?!”
I looked her steadily in the eyes. “I want to be living in a city and working in a building where I’m not running into the love of my life every few minutes. I want to be somewhere where I don’t have to worry about going to Starbucks or going to the gym because every place I go is haunted with these terrible, bittersweet memories.”
Rose sighed. “Jen, I know it’s hard, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through—again—but listen to me. You can’t let him drive you out of the city—”
“He’s not driving me anywhere,” I insisted. “I want to go. Rose, I want a fresh start. I need one. I just can’t...I can’t stay here anymore living in his shadow. I want to make my own shadow. I want to go.”
She was quiet for a long time, staring at her sushi like if it wasn’t already filleted, she’d stab it through the head. When it could go on no longer, I finally ventured a hesitant voice.
“So...are you okay with this?”
She threw her water in my face.
If it was possible, Eric was even less enthusiastic.
I’d decided to get him good and liquored up before breaking the news, so we went back to our favorite bar in Brooklyn. Since getting back from the wedding, Eric had actually been in a remarkably good mood. He was a constant shoulder for me, of course, but as fate would have it, the day we got back, he learned that his ex-boyfriend, Derek, had been mysteriously hired back to the PR department. Eric was thrilled—not questioning it for a moment and basking in their glorious reunion. I was a bit more skeptical. This had Tom’s fingerprints all over it.
It was the exact same situation as when he’d met Rose. She’d been a complete wench to him, but she’d done it all in the spirit of protecting me. Eric was the same way. He might have virtually kissed me on the dance floor, but it was all done with the best of intentions—and not to mention, against all of his natural instincts. Tom respected it. Admired it, even. I knew he was the one who had hired Derek back. It was a strange thank-you, in a way—although Eric would never know it.
I waited until we were five drinks in to break the news.
“I took a job offer in California,” I said with no preamble. “I’m leaving in a few days.”
He stared at me for a full thirty seconds before throwing his head back in uproarious laughter. The longer it went on, the guiltier I felt. When he finally pulled himself together, he had drunken, smiling tears in his eyes.
“Oh my gosh—you should try that on Rosie. She’d totally lose it.”
My brow furrowed up, and for a second, I thought I might actually cry myself. He noted the change in my expression and leaned forward across the booth, the smile freezing in his face.
“Wait...are you...?”
My eyes met his and I nodded slowly.
He was on his feet the next second. “What are you doing that for?!”
The deafening clamor of the bar fell suddenly, totally quiet, as every head turned to look at us. My face flushed beet red, but Eric was gaping at me in a horrified rage.
“I...want a fresh start?”
It seemed like a rather superfluous reason now.
I’d invited him out to a goodbye dinner with Rose and me on my last day, but he’d blatantly refused. When I’d asked him why he couldn’t come, he’d said he was getting a ‘fresh start’ with his Netflix queue and a six-pack of beer.
That left just Rose and me out on the town—our final night together in New York City. We’d gotten insanely dressed up for the occasion, indulging in an ‘all in’ shopping trip to Bloomingdales. In the end, we’d opted for little black dresses—a city standard, and something I’d surely miss in the more Bohemian streets of LA. First we hit a bar, then we went to dinner, then we ended up at two more bars before settling drunkenly on a third. I don’t think I had ever had so much to drink at one time in my life, but instead of slowly me down, Rose and I were only picking up speed. We danced, and hugged, and laughed, and made promises and plans for her to come out and visit me as soon as humanly possible. At one point, I texted Eric a picture, hoping to lure him out, but he responded with a photo of something that looked suspiciously like his middle finger, and I decided to leave him alone.
Finally, at around three in the morning, Rose called Michael and asked him to come and pick us up. As per my request, she hadn’t yet told him I was leaving. I couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t tell Tom, and to be honest, I didn’t want to put him in that position. But when he pulled up outside on the freezing New York curb, I surprised everyone including myself when I ran outside from the bar and jumped into his arms.
“Oh, Michael, I’m going to miss you!”
He caught me in surprise and looked over my head to Rose for help. “Well...don’t worry,” he said with a tentative smile, “I’m not going anywhere.”
I squeezed him tighter. “But I am. I’m leaving tomorrow for California.”
He pulled back in alarm. “What? Are you serious?!”
Rose joined us at the car and beckoned us in, shivering in the cold. “She’s serious,” she slurred with a miserable look on her face. “Something about your idiot brother ruining her life and now she’s fleeing the city.”
Michael’s mouth fell open. “You’re leaving because of Tom?!”
I held my head up haughtily. “No—I’m leaving for me. For a fresh slate of...I mean a clean start to...” My head spun with the alcohol and I latched onto the simplest explanation I could. “I like beaches and dolphins.”
For a moment, Michael’s look of dismay cracked with a bemused smile, and he hugged me again as I moved to pull away. “Jen...don’t go. Come on—all your friends are here. What if I said I’d make Tom go instead...” He winked mischievously.
“Your father is making his decision tomorrow,” I answered quietly, a single moment of sober clarity amid my drunken buzz. “If he names Tom as CEO...I’m going to be seeing him more than ever. Every promotion I work for, every floor I get closer to the top...it’s just going to be bringing me closer to him. I can’t do that...I can’t—live like that anymore.”
“Well, hey,” Michael shoved me playfully, “my father could name me. You know he wants to...”
I frowned with a grin. “What does that mean? He wants to?”
For a moment, Michael looked almost sad. But a second later, he’d consciously brushed it off, and his face cleared to its usual sunny smile. “Of course my father wants me to win. He knows I could never surpass his legacy. Tom can.” He shrugged, but it looked like it took a little more effort than usual. “It’s the way his mind works.”
Rose tossed him the keys and we took off down the street to our apartment. “Well if you do become CEO, what’s the plan?” she asked with an intoxicated smile.
“I’m glad you asked,” he said seriously. “First thing I do is abdicate. I’ll give the Larchwood throne to Jenna, so you and I can spend our days traveling the world,” he cast her a meaningful look, “we’ll need some time.”
I cracked up. “Why is that?”
Rose rolled her eyes. “One of Mike’s life goals is to visit every country.”
He nodded seriously. “It’s on my bucket list.”
The three of us were still laughing as we pulled up outside Rose and my apartment. I looked up at the gray bricks with a sudden wave of sadness. It was going to be my last night sleeping here. Then...who knows where I’d end up. The California office had found me a condo in Santa Monica that was supposed to be incredible, but I’d yet to see a single picture, so I was kind of just taking their word for it. Either way...it was no New York.
I was still taking mental snapshots when Rose gasped beside me, and Michael suddenly killed the engine. I followed their gaze to the front door and gasped myself as Tom walked slowly down the front steps. He looked twice between our car and the ‘for rent’ sign on the building, before meeting my eyes through the window.
“Did you text him?” Rose snapped accusingly, hitting Michael in the arm.
He flinched away, looking at Tom with obvious pity. “No, I didn’t. I have no idea why he’s here.” He glanced back at me almost nervously in the rearview mirror. “Jen, do you want me to ask him to leave?”
I took a deep breath and pulled open the door. “No. I guess he had to find out sooner or later. Might as well be now.”
I climbed out of the car and began walking gravely to meet him, keeping my head held high as I prepared for the showdown of a lifetime.
Then I fell on my ass.
Tequila and profound life moments rarely mix...
Tom closed his eyes ever so briefly, before kneeling down to help me to my feet. I pulled away from his hands and did it myself, clinging onto the edge of Michael’s coat to help me.
“You’re drunk,” Tom said softly, barely meeting my eyes.
I squared my shoulders and tried not to slur. “I am.”
“You’re also leaving.”
This time, it was me who could barely meet his eyes. “I am.”
“Jenna,” the pain in his voice was unmistakable, “...please don’t.”
“Tom...” I began, but then I paused.
There were so many things to say. A million different things to say. But in the end, they all amounted to the same thing. He’d made his choice, now I’d made mine. We were both just going to have to live with it.
My shoulders fell in a little sigh before I gave him a farewell smile. “Good luck with the announcement tomorrow. If it turns out to be you...you’ll make a wonderful CEO.”
His face tightened in pain, but he didn’t say anything. He just reached gently for my hand as I walked past him into the apartment. I took it, for the briefest moment, and gave it a squeeze before I let go and headed inside. My time here was done. It was time to leave.
Which brought me to this morning.
Eric had finally deigned to come see me off—but between his general apathy and a great deal of active sabotage—I was almost regretting inviting him.
A horn honked from outside and I glanced in panic out the window.
“Eric, can you go see if my car is here?”
He glared outside. “No.”
“Come on, please—”
“Nope.”
“I need to know if that’s my rental.”
“See for yourself.”
I paused, plotting. “There’s pizza downstairs...”
He looked at me shrewdly. “I’ll check on it,” he finally muttered, getting to his feet and sweeping out the door. “No promises.”
Rose appeared in the doorway as he left, carrying the last of my boxes minus the huge one holding my shoes. “I think that’s it,” she said, wiping her brow.”
Not only had she and I packed up my half of the apartment, but we’d boxed up hers as well. Since I would no longer be living here, she had decided to move in with Michael. By tomorrow, this place of ours would have a new set of tenants, making their own set of memories and hilarious mistakes.
The thought of it brought tears to my eyes, and I nodded briskly, trying to keep it together. “Okay, well...” I glanced around one last time. “I guess we should just—”
She grabbed me in a hug before I could say anything else, squeezing the life out of me as she sobbed into my hair. “I’m going to miss you so much!” she cried. “You need to call me the second you land and then give me a Skype tour of your new apartment.”
“I will,” I promised, wiping tears from my cheeks as well. “And I’ll see you in two weeks when you and Michael fly out to visit...”
She nodded swiftly. “And then two weeks after that—you can visit us here...”
I sniffed. “It’ll be like...nothing’s really changed.”
We shared a disbelieving look, but both nodded for the sake of it. No pointed in getting cold feet and backing out now. This was a new chapter—sacrifices would have to be made.
“Hey missy!” a voice called from downstairs.
Rose and I broke apart with watery smiles.
“That would be Eric,” I muttered.
“Your car’s here, and there’s no pizza.” How he was managing to make his voice carry so well up three stories, I would never know. “So not only are you abandoning me, but it turns out you’re also a lying piece of—”
“Okay,” I cut him off, “we’re coming down!”
Rose and I picked up the last two boxes and stumbled down the stairs, meeting Eric and the car out on the curb. The driver from the rental company had already left, leaving the keys in the ignition. All that was left to do now was say goodbye.
I turned first to Rose, giving her another huge hug and wiping my eyes. Then I turned to Eric. He was standing with his arms folded tightly across his chest; his handsome face turned up in an adorable glaring pout that he turned with full force onto me.
“Hey there,” I tried a coaxing smile, tugging gently on his arms. “You really not going to give me a hug goodbye.”
He shook his head stiffly and stared out over my head. “I hope you crash.”
I giggled. “You don’t. You love me...”
His lips hardened into a thin line. “Things change. You’re dead to me now.”
“Eric,” I put my hands on my hips, “I’m not leaving without a hug.”
He smirked. “Then I guess you’re not leaving.”
I pursed my lips. “No...I guess I’ll just have to take one.”
With no further ado, I began literally climbing up his body, hitching my legs around his waist as I held onto his neck. For a second, he held it together, freezing like a cold statue beneath me. But when I grabbed onto his hair and tried swinging my leg over his shoulder, his face broke into a huge smile, and he grabbed me tightly, holding me hard against his chest.
“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered into his hair. “Come back and visit, alright?”
“I will.” I kissed him on the cheek. “You were the best fake-boyfriend a girl could ask for. I’ll never forget it.”
He squeezed me again before lowering me to the curb. “See that you don’t.” He winked.
By now, I was on the edge of a full emotional breakdown, so before I could give myself any more time to change my mind, I hopped into the car and eased out into traffic. I looked back once, waving to my friends as they grew smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror. A flood of tears poured down my cheeks, but with a determined face, I forced myself to look forward.
This would be good. It had to be. This would turn out for the best.
Even if it felt like my heart was breaking.
I cleared my throat and accelerated quickly through a green light. No more tears. The time had come. A new life was waiting. I was ready to go.
I was so focused; I didn’t even see the truck until it was halfway through my door.