ESME
Did I invite a man to my bed? I can't quite remember how we left it. So many emotions course through me. I want him in my bed, but if he doesn't come, it probably indicates good judgment on his part.
After all, a shopkeeper and a landed gentleman have no business together. Yet, how happy my parents were. They came from different worlds and made a life together.
Witchcraft was their commonality, and love their binding force.
I'm being an imbecile. Love is not what William or I are feeling. Lust, certainly, but love doesn't happen in a few days.
In my nightdress, I comb my hair in the mirror. My curls fight back against my attempts to tame them, but I continue to try.
A soft knock stills my hand and my heart pounds. "Yes?"
The door opens, and William stands on the threshold. His cravat is missing, leaving his shirt open at the collar. Golden hair peeks through the opening. His hair stands out as though he's been running his fingers through it. He wears neither stockings nor boots, and somehow, his bare feet make him seem vulnerable.
"May I come in?"
I swallow my nervous excitement and nod. I put the comb on the dressing table as William closes the door and crosses to me.
He picks up the comb and takes up the chore of taming my curls. "This is like a dream."
"You dream of combing my hair?"
"I do." When he works through a knot, he's much gentler than I am. "I dream of all the little things you must do to be so beautiful."
Simon jumps from the bed, gives a stretch, then jumps into my lap. Absently, I pet him and close my eyes. "I haven't had anyone do this since I was a small child."
His lips touch my ear. "Do you like it?"
"I do." I turn my head and capture his lips with mine. A low sigh escapes me as he pulls me to my feet and drops the comb.
Simon gives an annoyed cry and trots away.
The kiss is gentle at first. William traces the seam of my lips with his tongue, and I open for him. Once our tongues meet the kiss turns desperate.
Low in my belly, I tighten with need, and desire pools between my legs. "William."
He pulls his head back and cups my cheeks with both hands. "Esme, if this is too fast, I will wait for you. Tell me to go and I will."
I wrap my legs around his waist. "I want you. It may be wrong, but by Goddess, I can't deny a desire this strong."
On the bed, he rests me on my back and covers me. His shaft is hard, perfectly wedged between us, and nestled at my womanhood.
I arch against the teasing hardness and moan.
"Esme. I promise to go slow next time, but I need you so desperately. I long to bury myself deep inside you." His heart beats as one with mine.
I recognize it inside my own thrumming heart. "Yes."
He slides his hand up my leg, pushing my cotton nightgown high. The cool night air touches my thigh and then my bottom. He slips his fingers between my legs and teases my wet center.
"Gods, Esme."
I cry out as he circles my sensitive bead.
When he pulls away, I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips.
"I only want to take my breeches off, sweetheart." His voice is tight.
With a wave of my hand and a pinch of intention, I remove his clothes and send them to the floor next to the bed.
He startles then laughs. "That's another handy trick you’ll have to teach it to me."
"I can't have you disrobing every woman in the county," I tease.
"Only you, Esme. I only want you naked." He pushes his fingers inside me, teasing and coaxing small gasps from me.
I rock my hips up with every plunge. My body tightens. "I need more of you."
A moment later, he presses his shaft at my entrance and slowly enters me. Inch by torturous inch, he fills me.
So tight is my arousal, it snaps, and I find my release. My core clutches at his cock, and he groans into my neck.
"I'm sorry." I had meant to wait for him to find pleasure, but no amount of imagining could have prepared me for the beauty of having William inside me.
Lifting on his elbows, he meets my gaze. "Never that, sweetheart." He rolls his hips. "I would see your pleasure a million times and die the happiest man in the world."
So slow and deliberate in every stroke, William kisses me just as tenderly. He slides inside me, then pulls back. Each time the base of his shaft rubs my bud until pleasure again tightens inside me.
I claw at his back and lift my hips for more of him. "William." My voice is rough and desperate. It hardly sounds like me.
Each stroke is fuel to the fire roaring within me. Gripping him with my legs, I want more. Need him deeper.
Pulling me tight, he rolls so I straddle him. "Take what you need. I'm yours."
From my position of power, his shaft hits so deep I can't be still. I'm wild with the growing pleasure. I rock back and forth, then rise up on my knees and impale myself over and over.
I have to bite my cheek to keep from screaming with the growing pleasure.
When he presses his thumb to that pearl of delight at the top of my womanhood, I crash over the edge of reason. My body shakes with the fiercest ecstasy I've ever imagined and never believed possible.
William grips my hips and pushes up inside me with three quick thrusts. Groaning, he lifts me from him, then pulls me down, spilling his seed between us.
His kiss is soft, tender, and I never want it to end.
Rolling to his side, he eases me to the mattress. "You're so perfect, Esme. I'll never get enough of you."
That contradicts my idea that lovemaking would relieve the tension between us, and it should upset me. It should, but I love hearing it.
With a kiss on my nose, he commands, "Don't move."
He's slim-hipped with a muscular bottom. His back is broad, golden, and beautiful. I long to touch every inch of him as he crosses to the basin and pitcher near the wardrobe. He wets a cloth then returns to the bed.
Reverently, he washes his seed from my stomach and thighs. When he presses the damp cloth between my legs, I sigh.
His eyes meet mine, concern wrinkles his brow. "Have I hurt you?"
"No. It feels good to be cared for." Awareness returns, and I squeeze my legs, hoping that after two orgasms, the pressure will relieve my want. But watching him wipe his shaft and abdomen heightens my desire to love and be loved again.
He returns the cloth to the basin then climbs into bed beside me. "I will go if you wish, but I'd like to stay with you awhile. Only if it pleases you."
Rolling, so I'm half covering his chest and my leg is draped over his, I press my cheek to him and listen to the rhythm of his heart. "It pleases me to have you here."
Then he wraps me in his strong arms and kisses the top of my head. "I'm so glad to hear that. I feared you would send me away."
I swallow the emotion building inside me. "I should, but I have neither the energy nor will to deny myself the pleasure of this moment."
"I wish I didn't hear so much worry in your voice. I never want to bring you worry, Esme. Making you happy is what I want most." He skims his fingers along the arch of my spine from my buttocks to between my shoulder blades.
If I could stay like this forever, he would hear only joy in my voice, but life has taught me to be realistic. "I see no end where hearts are not broken."
"Then think not of endings. I want you. You seem to want me in return. My life is a whirlwind of things I never expected right now." He presses his lips to my forehead and is slow to remove them. "Not all I've discovered this last week or so has been pleasant or easy to understand.
"I'm sorry." I want to take the worry from his voice and his heart.
Pushing me to my back, he leans over me and meets my gaze. His eyes are full of emotion that I dare not name. "You shouldn't be sorry for anything. You are the bright light in the storm. I shall never regret a moment spent with you, Esme O'Dwyer, and I pray you shall not regret it either."
Palm to his cheek, I lift my head to kiss his soft, strong lips. "Is it shameless that I want you again so soon?"
"There is no shame in anything we share together, sweetheart." He traces a line with his fingers from my waist to my hip, then cups my bottom to pull me tight against his hard shaft.
I expect and want him to slip back inside me, but instead he kisses my chest, the space between my breasts, then takes my nipple in his mouth. He sucks, licks and nips until I'm wild and writhing on the mattress.
I clutch his head and arch into the delight of his mouth. "William. Good lord, you'll make me into a wanton."
Breaking his connection with my breast, he smiles up at me. "My plan is revealed."
He's so adorable, I'm filled with joy at the sight and feel of him.
Sinking down on the bed, he kisses a path to my navel, my belly, then lightly licks the crease where my thigh meets my body.
I'm mesmerized by him and how every touch drives me higher. Lifting my hips, I'm wild with need for his touch between my thighs.
Kissing lower, he draws a high-pitched gasp from me when his tongue slides between my folds. My mind can't keep up with the rapture of his mouth and tongue teasing and tasting me.
Reaching down, I clutch his hair as he shifts my legs over his shoulders and devours me.
I pump my hips wildly, searching for the culmination of my building rapture.
William slides a finger inside me and then another. Sucking and pumping while his moans vibrate along the sensitive flesh.
My world erupts. Stars explode behind my clenched lids. My body is racked with bolts of pleasure so extreme it's hard to breathe. I shake with the rush of it.
William wraps his arms around me and coos sweet words as he kisses my hair, my cheek, and my forehead. "Esme, you are so beautiful, so sweet, such perfection."
Nothing he's saying is true, of course, but I love hearing the words and dreaming they could be real. I want to give him pleasure, but I'm drifting into the loveliest sleep.
"Esme." His voice is soft and close just as it was in my dream.
I blink. "What? Is it morning?"
He kisses my lips ever so gently. "No, love. It's still dark. I must return to my own bed. I don't want to leave and have you wake not knowing when or why."
Still foggy with sleep, I struggle to work out what he's trying to say. "You must go. I...I understand."
His weight presses along my side. "Look at me, sweetheart."
With much struggle, I open my eyes to find him staring down at me, even more handsome than the portrait I fell in love with months ago. It's hard to imagine not having him in my life. "Hello."
His beautiful lips pull into a grin. "I don't want the house to wake and find us like this. I would hold you day and night if it were proper. I worry about how to make that dream a reality."
Madness. He must have lost his senses. Pushing his shoulders, I sit. Gripping the blanket to cover myself, I still feel exposed. "Don't be silly. Dreams are meant to be that and nothing more. Of course, you must go to your own room and think nothing of it. I'll be ready to resume as your teacher in the morning. Nothing has changed."
I turn away from him. He'll dress and leave, and I'll not watch and wish. I'm stronger than that.
"Esme?"
"What?"
The bed dips, and he sighs long. Clothes rustle, and I imagine him dressing. I close my eyes and wish it wouldn't look childish if I held my ears to block out all sense of him. I swallow emotions trying to clog my throat and push tears into my eyes.
The mattress beside me shifts with his weight. He takes one of my hands from where I clutch the blanket. "I won't believe that last night meant nothing to you no matter how hard you try to prove it to me." He kisses my hand.
"What can one night mean?" I force denial into my voice but keep my eyes closed.
"Please look at me, sweetheart."
It's the plea in his voice that forces my eyes open. "I see you."
His clothes are rumpled from lying on the floor most of the night. His hair sticks out in all directions, fresh from sleep.
He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
"If you wish for me to leave the country, I'll do so. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. However, I'm never going to pretend last night had no meaning."
A tear forces its way from my eye and trails down my cheek. "I don't want you to leave. You must learn to use your magic. I am your friend."
"I'm relieved to hear we are still friends." His shoulders relax, and he kisses my hand again.
I pull my hand back, clutch the blanket and sit beside him with my bare legs hanging from the side of the bed. "I will always be your friend, William. I'll not let them bind your magic unless that is what you wish above all else. If you leave here, Sara Beth will find you and you will be bound. Living with that would kill me. I'll not fail you."
"But you are ashamed of our lovemaking." Sorrow burns in his statement.
I pull his hand from his lap and kiss his knuckles. "It shouldn't have happened. You have too much at stake to be distracted by such foolishness. There may be even more at stake if your awakening powers have some purpose in the light. How can we have been so selfish as to take our pleasure and risk ruining our friendship in light of all that?"
"I never believed our friendship was at risk. I only know I wanted you and want you still. I cannot believe a desire this strong can be wrong." With a loud sigh, he rises. Leaning down, he kisses the top of my head.
"You are a good man, William. I knew it from only your portrait," I whisper in my dark room as he walks away.
At the door, he stops. "You are the finest woman I've ever known. I'll not look for another, for I have had perfection."
Before I can chide him for his foolish statement, he opens my door and slips into the hall.
Alone, I curl into the sheets.
With a meow, Simon jumps onto the bed and snuggles up against my chest. He knows I'm sad and wants to take it from me.
"I can't see how happiness is possible now, Simon." I scratch his head.
He stretches long and makes a funny squeaking sound before falling into a soft purr.
"You're right. I shouldn't think so much. We'll just go about our business and let Goddess work out the rest of our lives. Happiness is only ever a dream for a woman like me anyway. I was content before I met Sir William, and I'll be so again when he's gone back to his life." I pet Simon along his back, and close my eyes.