ESME
Mid-September brings a long letter from Minerva. The temperature has cooled, and I'm sitting on a bench in the back garden next to the stillroom. I like the solitude when no one is working. Since William and I broke off our affair, I need time away from him to manage my emotions.
Minerva tells me how much she's enjoying my shop. She gives me a full report on all my customers, who miss me and ask after me all the time.
Simon jumps into my lap, turns twice, and lies down. He's grown to three times the size he was when he came to my back door, and will grow more still. "I think you will miss the country most of all when we return home." I scratch his head.
"Miss Esme?" Trina calls from the other side of the stillroom.
With a sigh, I fold my letter. "I'm here, Trina."
In a white day dress, she rounds some bushes whose flowers have finished for the year. Only green leaves remain. "Great Mother is looking for you."
Simon hisses at Trina and runs from the garden.
Standing, I brush out my skirts. "I will go directly."
She pokes her head into the stillroom. "Where is Sir William?"
"I think he went to work on water magic in the woods."
With a nod, Trina saunters toward the woods.
Pushing down my jealousy, I head toward the house and find Prudence in the parlor. There's no reason to be uneasy. William is not mine, and even if he were, he's made it clear his interest in Trina is platonic. "Great Mother, did you need something of me?"
"Come and sit." She looks at the letter in my hand. "News from town?"
"Minerva assures me that my shop thrives without me." I tuck the missive into the waist of my skirt.
"I think next week we can head back to Windsor. William is ready to be tested, and all is well here and in the village. I wanted to consult you on something, though."
"Of course." My stomach alights with butterflies. Once we're back in Windsor, I may never see William again. I shall miss our friendship, more than I miss having his affections. He's become such a part of my life.
"As you know, I write to Sara Beth each week and tell her of our progress. The one thing I have kept from my letters is Mrs. Kyle's total recovery from William's healing. Actually, I've not mentioned that we have no source for his magic within the elements either. I may have left out that his magic seems to be desire driven as well." With a steady gaze, Prudence looks me in the eye.
"That seems quite a lot to have left out of your messages, Great Mother. Do you worry that the coven will disapprove of what they cannot understand, or do you have concerns about William's motives?" The gentle butterflies turn to wasps, wrapping me up in an ache I have no choice but to hide.
Prudence shrugs. "I am not beholden to Sara Beth. I didn't mention that you and he are lovers either. That which is not her concern is kept apart."
My face heats. I hadn't realized Prudence knew of our relations. "We have not been lovers in several weeks, though I appreciate you not telling Sara Beth that we were."
Shaking her head, Prudence sighs. "Young people are so foolish and wasteful."
"What do you mean?" I have no notion of what she thinks I have wasted.
She waves off my question. "It makes no difference. I wonder if you think telling the coven about the extent of William's healing abilities will be useful or harm him?"
"I thought that our job is to tell the coven everything and let them decide if William is a danger."
Prudence sits forward with her hands clasped before her and eyes bright with knowledge. "Useful information is what the coven needs and will get. I'll not have that boy bound because of unwarranted fears."
"I'm happy to hear that." Even though William is not for me, and nothing will change that, I will fight to the death to keep him safe.
"Then you do not think the incident with Mrs. Kyle should be disclosed?" Prudence asks.
"Not unless it comes up during the examination." Suddenly feeling nauseated, I stand and look out the window. "Something is wrong."
William and I have closed the link between our minds. It’s unseemly to hear his passions for me when acting on them is no longer an option.
"What is it?" Prudence rushes my side and searches the yard.
"I'm not sure, but something is wrong with William.
Prudence grips my face and looks into my eyes. "Open to him, or you'll lose him forever."
With a long breath, I let the wall I've erected in my mind crumble.
William's voice is muffled. His mind is muddy. It's as if he's talking from under a pillow. No. Water. He's under water.
"What do you see?"
There's no time. I break into a run toward the river. "Send help!" I holler.
Holding up my skirts, I jump over a log and scurry through the woods. Leaves fall all around me with the coming autumn. Those at my feet slow me down. My hair catches on a branch, and pain sears my scalp, but I never break stride. At the bathing pool, his shoes lay by the water’s edge but nothing else.
I close my eyes and reach into the water with my mind.
There.
I send my magic to pull him out, but something dark fights against me, as if he's lashed to the bottom of the pool.
"William!" Knowing he's dying makes it hard to concentrate. My heart is breaking into pieces. I order myself to calm down and breathe.
"Water and air, find you there. Air and water, hold and share. Part for me the way to see. As I will, so mote it be." Thrusting my hand forward and up, I part the water, pulling it drop by drop away from William.
Somewhere in the distance, I hear someone running toward me, but I push the sound aside. Only the water exists, and it moves to the right and to the left like Moses at the red sea.
At the muddy bottom William and Trina lie unmoving.
Henry and Samuel charge into my chasm and drag the bodies to the bank.
As soon as they are on land, I release the water.
Henry says, "She's breathing, but he's not." He turns William on his side and slaps his back with a resounding crack.
Samuel looks on with wide eyes while he holds Trina on her side.
She vomits up water, and her eyes flutter open.
In my head, I scream for William to come back to me. Kneeling, I place my hands on his chest and sense the water inside his lungs. "Be ready to turn him again."
Henry holds William's shoulders and nods.
I draw the water up.
Water gurgles from William's mouth.
Henry turns him to his side and a fountain of water gushes out of him.
There is no chatter in William's mind. I search for his essence, but he gives me nothing in return. Tears flow freely down my face as I haul him out of Henry's arms and into my own. I press my lips to his and blow my air into his mouth. "Goddess, do not take him from me," I pray over and over again with each breath I give to him. "Take me too, if you must have him."
An angelic voice sings in my head. "I take nothing, child. That was another. However, it is you who brings him back."
William draws a gasping breath and coughs.
"Tell me you're still in there," I cry holding him to me.
His voice scrapes. "I am here, my sweet."
Still crying, I thank Goddess. Her sweet voice doesn't respond, but I'm just happy William lives.
Samuel carries Trina back to the cottage.
William is too big to be carried, so Henry and I sit with him until he is stronger. His eyes are closed, but he's breathing well. "I heard a voice. It was like the finest music. She told me it wasn't time yet for me to leave my life."
"Goddess. I heard her, too, though her message to me was not the same." I brush the hair from his forehead. He's not had a haircut since we came to the country, and I quite like his unruly waves.
"What does she care if I live or die?" His blue eyes are clear when he looks at me and then at Henry.
"I don't know," I admit.
"Henry?" William asks.
"Yes, Will?"
"I appreciate the save, but would you turn your back for a moment or two?"
A wide grin spreads across Henry's face before he stands and faces the woods.
William cups my cheek, runs his thumb over my bottom lip. "Esme." Threading his fingers through my hair, he pulls my lips down to his.
My body thrums with need and relief. I've never been as tired or as fully awake as at this moment. "I nearly lost you."
"I didn't want to leave you. Trina was drowning, and I jumped in to pull her out. No matter how hard I swam, I couldn't pull away from the bottom of the pool." He relaxes against my lap and arm. "You can turn around again, Henry."
Henry's brows are pinched, and he points to the water. "You're a strong swimmer, and that pool has little current."
"When I arrived, I tried to lift you out, but couldn't move you. That's why I pulled the water away." Had some dark magic gotten hold of them? I had no sense of evil until I sent my magic to the bottom of the pool.
"Quick thinking," William says.
Henry stands with his fists at his waist. "Why would anyone want to kill you and Miss Trina? What does anyone gain from your deaths?"
"I cannot say." William sits up, closes his eyes, and draws two deep breaths. "I think, if you will both assist, I can make the journey to the cottage."
It is slow, and we are all three exhausted by the time we reach the cottage.
Prudence stands guard at the front door and ambles down to us when we reach the yard. "I've drawn a bath for you, William. It's hot and has what you'll need to recover."
"Is Trina well?" he asks.
"Fine, though shaken. Anne is caring for her, and I've sent for Brianna. She's a fine healer and will stay the night in case we need her."
At William's bedroom door, I stop and let Henry close the door. He will help William.
While I stare at the closed door, my tears begin again.
Prudence wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Come. You need to change out of this wet dress, and you can tell me what happened.
I spare only a few minutes to tell Prudence of the events at the bathing pool. Once I help her settle at the desk in the parlor, I leave her to write a letter to the coven.
Henry, carrying William's muddy clothes and shoes, turns the corner toward the back of the house.
I probably should rest in my own bed, but I knock on William's door.
"Come in, Esme."
There's comfort in him knowing it's me, and in our minds being opened once again.
In the copper tub with steam rising, he sits with his eyes closed. "I missed your clever mind in mine."
With the door closed behind me, I lean on the hard wood. "As did I miss hearing your thoughts."
When he looks at me, I see only love and perhaps worry. "Will you not come closer?"
"I don't want to intrude. I only needed to see you are well." My hand curls around the door handle, but I don't want to go anywhere.
He reaches his hand toward me. His broad shoulders flex with the effort. "Come closer, sweetheart."
There is a chair next to the tub with a towel and William's robe. I lift the items and sit, then clutch them in my lap. "I have never been more terrified than when I sensed you were in danger." It's a hard thing for me to admit, but if I don't let it out, I'll burst with the terror hiding inside me.
His chest lifts and falls with a heavy sigh. "I am alive, thanks to you. There is no need for that tremor in your voice."
Touching his damp neck and tracing a line to his shoulder, I breathe a little easier. Still, my heart aches with fear. "I couldn't move you from the bottom. Something clutched at you and kept you from me." My tears flow freely.
Those bright blue eyes of his are full of worry.
I should be comforting him, but the residual terror clings to me.
He pries my hand free of the towel I'm clutching. "I have strict orders to remain in this healing water for thirty minutes. Take off your clothes and join me?"
"You need rest." My argument is very weak.
"What I need is you in my arms. More importantly, you need to know that I am here and unharmed."
There is no denying it. To touch him, all of him, is exactly what I need. After returning the towel and robe to the chair, I strip out of my clothes. The letter from Minerva falls to the floor. I place it on top of my skirt before bolting the door.
Unashamedly naked, I slink back to the tub and climb in so that my back presses against his chest and my legs slide between his bent knees. Water sloshes to the floor. Closing my eyes, I relax into him, and his arms wrap around me. My voice is more sigh than speech. "Goddess, I needed this."
He presses a kiss where my neck meets my shoulder. "Forgive me for scaring you."
"Never." Then softer. "I don't understand how you could drown, or how you were held. The magic I sensed was dark, and I've never felt anything like it before. It hardly felt like magic."
"What besides magic could do it?" He traces paths up and down my arms before one hand curls around my abdomen and the other under my breast. He holds me as if I might disappear.
"A demon would use magic that would feel so different to me that I might mistake it for something else." Even as the words form in my head, I know there is some truth to them.
"What would anyone, even a demon, gain from my death or Trina's?"
The scents of milk thistle and chamomile fill my senses, and I lean my head back against his shoulder. "I don't know, but we don't know what purpose brought you to me and sparked your magic back to life, or even what you are capable of."
His voice is mixed with a yawn. "I wish I had the energy to make love to you, but I fear if I don't get out of this tub soon, you will have to save me from a second drowning in the same day."
Reluctantly, I get out of the magically warmed water. I use magic to dry myself before handing him the towel. Once he's in his robe, I tuck him into bed and press my lips to his. "I'll come back and check on you."
He pats the mattress beside him. "Why don't you stay?"
"I want to check on Trina. Besides, it's the middle of the day. Don't you think the house will notice if I lay in bed with you all day and night."
Closing his eyes, he smiles. "I have nothing to hide."
"Nor I, William. I will be back." It's harder than it should be to leave him sleeping. Whatever held him to the muddy bottom of the pool might return for him. Perhaps Trina got a sense of the thing.
At the door to the room she shares with Anne, I knock. A chair scrapes the wood floor, and Anne opens the door.
"How is she?"
Anne smiles gently and pulls the door farther open to let me in. "She's fine. Tired and frightened, but unharmed."
The room has two beds, each with a nightstand, a dresser, and a wardrobe. The walls are white, and the floors are dark brown from age. No rug or desk adorn the simple room. In the bed near the wall, Trina is propped up with pillows. Dark rings show under her bloodshot eyes.
"Is Sir William alright?" she asks.
"He is sleeping." I sit on the edge of her bed.
Anne clears her throat. "I'll just get you some hot tea and be right back."
It’s the first time since I met Trina that she's seemed unsure of herself. At only eighteen, she's more girl than woman. Staring down at her fingers clasped in her lap, she says, "He would have died to save me."
"Of course."
Snapping her head up, her gaze meets mine. "Why? He doesn't even like me."
"I think he likes you fine, Trina. But the answer to your question is because it is his nature." My heart swells with love for him. I'm overflowing with it, as well as shame for pushing him away.
She shakes her head and returns her attention to her hands.
"When I tried to lift you from the water, I felt as if something held you down there. Did you feel it?"
Her cheeks grow a patchy red. "I don't know. It all happened so fast, and then the world disappeared for a time."
It's hard to tell if she's lying because she's hiding something, or because she's afraid. Maybe a bit of both, but I need some answers. "I understand you can swim. How did the water overcome you?"
"I...I was trying a water spell. I thought to play a joke and walk on the water. My concentration failed me, I splashed down and breathed in the water. Before I could think, I was at the bottom. Sir William was there, then nothing." She plucks at the worn blanket.
"I'll see that you have a warmer blanket. You might catch a chill after today's events." I get up.
Her gentle sobs turn me around. She wipes her face. "I thought I would be safe. He didn't save me."
It's as if she's talking to herself, so I don't respond. In the hall, Anne is returning with tea. "Anne, I have an extra blanket in my room. Will you bring it to Trina? I worry that she'll be cold and catch a fever."
"Yes, miss. I'll just bring her this tea, and then I'll get the blanket."
"Thank you."
I return to William's room to find Henry sitting in a chair he's brought near the bed.
Head in his hands, Henry is as pale as the coverlet.
William sleeps quietly.
I whisper, "Are you alright, Henry?"
He tips his head up to meet my gaze. "I know I am a servant, but he is the closest friend I've ever had. Once the excitement was over, and I realized he could have been lost... It took a toll on me. But to answer your question, Miss Esme, I’m fine. I am in your debt for saving him."
I shake my head. "There is no debt. I would give my own life to save his. He is far too good to be lost at all, let alone so ignobly."
"He would hate that. If you died to save him, I don't know if he could live with himself. He is in love with you."
Heat rolls up my neck and cheeks. I don't know what to say.
Henry rises and clears his throat. "Forgive me. I am out of line to speak of such things. If you will stay with him, I will take my rest for the night."
"I will stay." I don't know if I can ever leave him. The future is clouded with uncertainty, and that is something I have never liked in my life.
As Henry leaves, Simon slips into the room, jumps on the bed, and curls up next to William. He blinks at me before resting his head on his paws.