Several people stopped Maggie on her way back to the green room to congratulate her. She was so out of breath from adrenaline rushing through her body, she could barely manage to smile and say thank you. She had to get back to the green room so she could sit down and figure out how to get herself back together.
“Maggie?”
She stopped in her tracks and saw a tall man dressed in a sharp black suit. He held out his manicured hand and she shook it.
“Can I help you?” she asked, glancing past his shoulder to the entrance that led to the green room.
“I’m Stephen from Warner. I believe we’ve met before. Please forgive me if I can’t remember when.”
She let go of his hand and forced herself to be nice and pay attention. She remembered him. He was someone big from WMG, the record company her parents were contracted with.
“I’ve met a few people from Warner,” she said lightly. “It’s nice to see you here.”
He looked hopeful and eager as he leaned forward a fraction of an inch. He was only a little taller than her. “First of all, congratulations on your performance out there.”
“Thanks.” Was that sweat rolling down her face? She didn’t dare reach up to see.
“I wanted to tell you how impressed I’ve been with the two songs we’ve contracted with you so far. I don’t know if your parents have talked to you about possibly signing on with us as a staff writer, but it’s something I’d love to discuss with you. We could get your songs in the hands of other big artists. We’d find the best fits.”
He was offering her a job, and although she wasn’t sure if she was interested yet, it was something that made her heart pound with excitement. It was certainly more excitement than she’d felt up on stage a minute ago. She almost felt like she needed to throw up. How did her parents find this fun? The thought of writing instead of getting up on stage again was suddenly so appealing she wanted to grab on to it with both hands. She gave Stephen a genuine smile. “I’m interested in hearing more, yes.”
“Fantastic.” He reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a card. “Here’s my information. If my assistant doesn’t contact you within a week, give me a call and we’ll set up a meeting.”
“Sure, thanks.” She took the card, said goodbye, and hurried to the green room. Nathan was waiting for her when she walked inside. He gave her a big hug and then kissed her on the mouth so hard she almost fell over.
“Beautiful, beautiful performance,” he said once he’d let her go. “Your voice was absolutely perfect. It was you the whole time.”
“Yes,” she laughed. “Yes, it was. I can’t believe I did it.”
Her eyes glazed over as she sat down and Nathan asked her if she wanted something to drink.
“Some water, please.” She felt deflated, like someone had poked a pin into her back and let out all the air in her lungs. Her adrenaline was fading too fast, and she had to put her head between her knees. Nathan sat down next to her and rubbed her back.
“Are you all right?”
“Fine, fine, I’ll be fine.” She glanced at Stephen’s business card again, then looked up at Nathan and narrowed her eyes. “You know what? I’m not sure I liked any of that. My parents are always on a huge high when they get off stage. I mean, it’s what they live for. Do you think I feel like this because it was so huge so fast?”
His hand paused on her back. “I wouldn’t really know for sure,” he said slowly, and then handed her a water bottle.
She sat up and took the plastic bottle from him. After a few gulps, she gently wiped her lips and leaned back into the sofa. Her parents were performing their next song, just as vibrant as ever.
“This is all so new to you, I’m sure you can’t say yet whether or not this is what you want,” Nathan said.
She shook her head. “You’re right, I know.”
“Miss Roads?”
Maggie looked up to see a blonde woman in a suit peeking her head into the room.
“Yes?”
“There’s a gentleman here who says he wishes to see you. He’s on your personal guest list.” She glanced down at her clipboard. “Cole Thomas?”
Maggie nodded as her lips spread into a grin. “Yes, show him in.”
The woman nodded and opened the door as wide as it would go. Cole entered, pushing Andy in a wheelchair. Andy caught her eyes, a dazed smile on his face. He had a cowboy hat on his head, and Maggie was taken aback at how much he looked like Cole.
“Sorry,” Cole apologized with an embarrassed smile. “We took a wrong turn.”
Nathan stood. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be coming backstage after Maggie’s song too. You could’ve come with me.”
Cole shrugged. “No worries. We had to use the ramps anyway.”
Unable to hold it in any longer, Maggie rushed forward. “I’m so glad you came!” She knelt beside Andy’s wheelchair and grabbed his hands and squeezed. His smile got bigger as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. It looked as though he might speak. Maggie waited for a minute, her heart pounding.
“It’s okay,” she said as he finally shook his head in frustration. “It’s okay, Andy. I understand. You want to tell me you’re happy for me, don’t you?”
He nodded vigorously. Trying to speak was a new development for him, thanks to Nathan’s ongoing volunteer sessions. Nathan had recently told Maggie how he thought sign language might help Andy with a transition back into speech. That had reminded her of Lissa, a taboo subject for both of them. Nathan had been tight-lipped about her for a long time, and it made Maggie wonder if she needed to crack open that can of worms to see if he was having second thoughts.
“I’m happy for you too,” Cole said as he walked around the wheelchair and Maggie rose to meet him. He was dressed in new jeans and boots and the black shirt she loved so much.
“Thanks,” she said, unsure if she should hug him or not. She wanted to hug him. So badly. But he’d been so standoffish lately and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. He certainly wasn’t making any moves to embrace her. Feeling jittery, she glanced at Nathan beside her. He had a pained expression, as if he was witnessing a train wreck. Maybe it was a train wreck. All of this work, the whole concert just for Cole, and she still wasn’t sure if he was going to accept any of it.
Nathan noticed her watching him and smiled warmly at Andy and Cole as he sat back down on the sofa. “I’m glad you both came.”
Cole nodded and rested his gaze on Maggie. “You deserve every bit of this. I know you said it’s for me and Andy, but it’s a big step for you. We came by to tell you how happy we are for you.”
She glanced at her parents on the television. “Do you want to stay for the rest of the show? I’m sure we can get an usher to help you back to your seats.”
“No, that’s all right. I think Andy’s had enough excitement for one night. I promised the center I wouldn’t keep him out too late.”
“Understandable.” She moved a fraction of an inch closer to Cole, the question she wanted to ask him so heavy on her heart she thought it might crush her. Before she could get it out, the door opened and Martin and a woman with short black hair rushed inside. Martin had a hand to his ear as he spoke into his headset at a frantic pace.
“No, but if we don’t get it fixed now, it’ll be all our heads.” He paused and looked around the room, his frantic gaze landing on Maggie. “No, let me ask her. Yeah, yeah, maybe. No, I have no idea. Just a sec.”
The woman who had come in with him stayed near the door, a confused look on her face. It took Maggie a moment to realize she was staring at Nathan, who had stood up from the sofa once again. His mouth hung open, and Maggie looked from him to the woman a few times before she realized the woman was familiar. Lissa.
Shocked, Maggie opened her mouth to ask Nathan what was going on, but Martin grabbed her attention and started talking first. He was oblivious to the fact that he’d just walked in with a woman who was clearly tipping Nathan’s world out of whack.
“I might need you to get back out on stage again,” he gasped, trying to slow down his pace with huge gulps of air.
She took a step backward. “Um . . .”
“Your parents’ next song,” Martin continued, “is ‘Digging Home.’ There’s a specific lighting arrangement that goes along with the music and props. Do you know what I’m talking about?” He started waving his hands in the air. “The blues and purples, like stars, and then that red one that comes on halfway through with the fog?”
She nodded, trying to focus on him instead of Nathan, who had now walked over to Lissa and was signing to her. “Um, I guess so. Why do I have to get on stage again?”
“The lighting equipment for that arrangement just broke.” He motioned over to Lissa without looking at her. “She’s one of the lighting technicians in charge of that piece, and she keeps telling me it can’t be fixed.” He rolled his eyes. “Well, she keeps writing to me. She’s deaf, so I can’t communicate with her the way I’d like.”
“You can now,” Maggie said softly.
Martin spun around, his jaw dropping as he watched Nathan sign to Lissa.
Nathan paused in his conversation and turned to Martin. “Lissa is telling me about the problem you’re having. She’s frustrated that you won’t take the time to read everything she has written down for you.”
Martin stuttered for a moment then straightened. His shirt collar was damp with sweat. “We have eight minutes before that song comes on,” he cried out defensively. “I don’t have time to—”
“If you’ll let me,” Nathan interrupted, “I’ll go see if I can help her. Is that all right?”
Martin lowered his clipboard and glanced at Maggie. “I guess so. I was hoping Maggie would be willing to go on stage with her father to play an acoustic version of the song. I’ve seen them play it together in the studio, and it’s lovely. Then we won’t even need the lights.”
Nathan nodded and turned to Lissa to explain. She signed back, her confused expression even stronger than before.
“She says she’d like to try to fix the lights,” Nathan translated. “It’s a problem in the wiring, but she needs specific equipment. She wasn’t writing to you that it can’t be fixed. She was trying to tell you it can’t be fixed with the equipment that’s here backstage.”
Martin growled under his breath. “Then that means it can’t be fixed because we can’t get the equipment she’ll need in time. Doesn’t she understand how quickly we need this done?” He turned to Maggie again as Nathan translated for Lissa. “Now, listen, Maggie, the audience loved you out there for ‘Sunrise.’ If you go out there again, it’ll make up for us missing the best choreographed show we had for tonight. Can you do it?”
All she could think of as she looked into Martin’s panicked face was no, no, no, you can’t make me go back out there. And she knew for a fact that, at least in her near future, a singing career was not what she wanted. What she wanted was a studio and a notebook and singers excited to try new songs she’d written. Her parents had been right all along. She squeezed Stephen’s business card in her hand and shook her head.
“I can’t,” she answered, trying to sound bold and confident, when all she really wanted to do was apologize to him in a flurry of tears. “I . . . I don’t want to. I’m sorry, Martin.”
The hope in his eyes sputtered and died. “Oh . . .”
“Can’t my parents do it acoustic? I don’t have to go out there.”
“I suppose so. Thanks anyway, Maggie.”
She put a hand on his shoulder. “It will work out, Martin, I promise.”
“Lissa needs equipment from one of the trucks outside,” Nathan said as he opened the door. “She’s not sure which one, but I’m going to go help her.”
“Fine, fine, see what you can do.” Martin gave Maggie a sad look and headed for the door as Nathan rushed off with Lissa. “You’ll have to explain this sudden change of heart to me later,” he sighed.
When he was gone, Maggie turned to Cole and Andy. Switching gears abruptly, she realized how much she still wanted to hug him.
“So,” she said carefully, “have you changed your mind . . . you know, about . . .” She looked away, too afraid Cole would react the same way he had Christmas morning when she’d told him about the concert. She also wasn’t sure Andy knew or understood what she wanted to give Cole. She doubted he did.
Cole’s shoulders drooped as he looked down at Andy. “Yes,” he said quietly. “The truth is, Maggie, I’ll do anything to help Andy, even if that means getting over my pride. You’re not the only one who wants to help. The whole band told me a few hours ago that they’re going to add their earnings to yours and your parents’.” He looked up, agony filling his eyes. “I’m sorry it took me so long to accept your help. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. You’ve kept showing up at the rehab center, and this whole incredible show is your doing. You deserve a thank you from me, not anger and silence. I’m sorry.”
She wanted to rush into his arms, but couldn’t do it. There was too much between them now. There was Nathan, even if he wasn’t in the room. There was the fact that she had always thought singing was her dream, and it turned out she was wrong. Reaching up to touch her necklace, she realized she’d been wrong about Grace’s friendship too—something she was more than happy to be wrong about. So what else had she been wrong about? Nathan? Cole? Everything?
“Apology accepted,” she said as Andy looked up at Cole and tugged on his shirtsleeve. He made a discreet gesture indicating that he had to use the bathroom, and Cole nodded.
“Gotta go,” he said softly.
“There’s a bathroom in here,” she said, stepping forward. “You don’t have to leave yet.”
“No, he’ll need the wheelchair-access stall. Sorry.”
“Oh, right. I think it’s just around the corner.”
He started turning Andy’s wheelchair around, and Maggie rushed forward to touch his shoulder. “Really, Cole, thank you for letting me help both of you.”
He headed for the door and smiled at her. “Thank you for being patient with me. I’ll see you later. Did you still want me to take you to the DMV sometime, or did you already do that?”
She shook her head. “Nope, I’ve been waiting until we were all less busy, but if you’re up for it, maybe next week?”
He opened the door and she helped him maneuver Andy through. “Whatever you need, Maggie. Give me a call, okay?”
“Okay.”
As Cole pushed Andy out of sight, she stood in the hallway and listened to her parents’ music reverberating through the building. Martin rounded a corner then disappeared around another. He seemed a little calmer, so that was good. As she wandered away from the green room, she nodded hello to a few people she recognized. She finally spotted Nathan over in a dark corner with Lissa.
Maggie stopped in her tracks. It wasn’t that she suspected anything. It wasn’t that she hated Lissa or even disliked her. She was surprised, that was all. He was signing to her and smiling. Relief was plastered across both their faces, and as the intro to “Digging Home” started up from the stage, Maggie knew they must have managed to fix the lights. For some reason, it made her happy to see him so lit up from the inside. He’d been with Lissa for over five years. There was a lot of history there.
“Maggie?”
She turned around to see Cole and Andy once again. Walking over to both of them, she noticed Cole holding out a piece of paper. “What’s that?” she asked.
“It’s for you. It’s something I wrote tonight, and I thought I’d better give it to you before I chicken out.”
She laughed and took the paper. It was folded into a neat square. “Do you want me to open it right now?”
“Well, uh, maybe when we’re gone. I don’t want to . . . well . . .” He looked over at Nathan and Lissa and pulled on his bottom lip with his teeth. “Yeah, when we’re gone. I’ll see you later, Mags.”
She said goodbye to him and Andy and unfolded the paper once they were out of sight. It was filled with Cole’s neat handwriting. It looked like a poem or lyrics written in ink with several lines scribbled out.
“Sunrise” makes me think of you
It’s the perfect song for when I’m blue
Because it’s so, so true and new
I’ve been so ashamed and I want to cry
Now you’re with another guy
I lost your love to another guy
I made you think I want you with another guy
When you really make me want to fly
when, really, you’re the apple of my eye
I’m so bad at writing lyrics
You can probably point fun and be satiric
But now my heart is split
Because I’ve been a prideful idiot
Maggie, I love you
I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve put you through
Should a breakup with that other guy ensue
I hope there’s a chance for us two
But for now I’ll have to make do
Maggie read the entire thing three times before she realized tears were running down her face, smudging her perfect makeup. The lyrics were so endearing, and she loved them more than anything she’d ever read in her entire life.
But what about Nathan?
When she looked over at him, she knew he would understand if she told him she’d changed her mind completely out of the blue. They’d talked about it before, and he clearly still had feelings for Lissa. He would be okay, wouldn’t he?
Slow down, Maggie. Slow down.
Before she could second-guess too many things, she took off in the direction Cole had gone. He hadn’t traveled too far since the chaos backstage wasn’t conducive to pushing someone around in a wheelchair.
When she reached them, she ran in front of Andy and held out her hands. Cole screeched to a stop, his eyes wide. “Maggie, what are you doing?”
She lifted the paper and shook it a little. “This, Cole . . . you . . . you know I love you, right?”
He pursed his lips together and shook his head. “You told me you didn’t know if you loved me.”
“No, I said I didn’t know if I was in love with you, but this makes me see that I am. You ripped my heart out when you said we couldn’t ever be together. I thought for a long time that you were right. I thought Nathan was my best shot at being happy with someone. He does make me happy, but not like you do, Cole. You’re everything.”
More tears fell down her face, and she swiped them away. She was angry with herself for falling apart. She didn’t want to fall apart in public with other people watching.
Lowering her voice, she stepped forward. “I love Andy, and I love you. Can we make this work?”
Cole narrowed his eyes. “What about Nathan?”
“I’ll sit down and talk to him about it. I know he’ll understand. It’ll be okay.”
Cole stared at her for the longest time, his face a mix of emotions. Finally, he kicked up the brake on Andy’s wheelchair, knelt down to whisper something into his ear, and then stood up again to face Maggie.
“You know,” he said in a determined voice, “I realized I’ve been misapplying the most important part of what my dad said in that letter he wrote—you know, about how life is all about who you love and how you can help them?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I remember that. So, you’re not angry with him anymore?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered as he looked down at Andy. “I guess not. I realized he was trying to fix things by writing that. He just ran out of time, is all. I don’t want to run out of time. I mean, I’ve been helping Andy, but not you . . . and I love you just as much as I love Andy.”
She died a little inside, but it was a good sort of death, the kind that meant she knew she’d already forgiven him for everything and something new could begin. “I love you,” she whispered, stepping closer to him.
Smiling, he inched closer to her. “I love you too, but I don’t want to kiss you before you resolve everything with Nathan.”
“I understand.”
“But can I hug you?”
“Of course.” She rushed forward and fell into his open arms. He smelled like Andy’s rehab center and pine trees and engine grease and everything else she had learned to love so deeply. She couldn’t wait for the moment she could kiss him. It would be something she knew she’d never forget. Gently, she brushed her lips across his cheek, breathing him in. That would have to do for now.
When he let go of her, she realized she was still holding on to Stephen’s business card. She looked down at it and ran her thumb over the raised ink, smiling as she sang the chorus of “Digging Home” with her parents in the background.
“You’re out of tune again,” Cole said, winking at her as he unlocked the brake on Andy’s wheelchair.
“I know, I know,” she laughed. “It feels great.”