My God, my God,
why have you abandoned me?
Why are you so far away from helping me,
so far away from the words of my groaning?
Psalm 22:1
Whenever something turns out different than you expected, it’s easy to blame God. The first question is always, “Why, God? Why me? Why this?” But those kinds of Qs can easily become a whine or a complaint. They can easily start to sound like an accusation: “I did what you asked—why didn’t you hold up your end of the bargain?” Well, maybe he did. God isn’t really concerned about making you happy. He wants to make you holy. And the process of making you holy, which is called sanctification, doesn’t always involve the easiest and most comfortable way.
When a trial comes into your life, your first response should be to ask God, “How can I serve you in this?” Any other response means you are trying to serve two ends—your own and God’s. And that can’t be done (see Matt. 6:24; Rom. 6:16). You have to focus completely on the end that God has in mind for your life. Once you do, living a godly life will become more like second nature. That’s because God promises that as soon as you obey him, he will give you peace. The apostle Paul puts it this way: “Make sure that you improve. Accept my encouragement. Share the same attitude and live in peace. The God of love and peace will be with you” (2 Cor. 13:11). And again: “Practice what you’ve learned and received from me, what you heard and saw me do. Then the God who gives this peace will be with you” (Phil. 4:9).
No matter what the results of your plans or dreams are, and even if it feels like God totally let you down, trust him, believe, and know that this too shall be used to make you a holy woman if you will just let it. Like the psalmist, get good at knowing that even if things seem miserable, God is always there and always in control.