I admit that I am rebellious.
My sin is always in front of me.
I have sinned against you. . . .
Create a clean heart in me, O God,
and renew a faithful spirit within me.
Psalm 51:3–4, 10
When you first come to Christ you agree with him that what you used to believe was a lie. That’s called repentance, and it’s what you have to do in order to be forgiven and saved. The things the world told you, the pain you inflicted on yourself, the loneliness, the guilt, the emptiness—everything that a life without Christ gave you was a lie, and you finally agree with that.
But repentance doesn’t stop as soon as you accept Christ. It goes on every day. Every day, guaranteed, you do something sinful, something that proves you’ve bought the lies again. So every day you have to consciously repent of that stuff. Every day you have to clear the slate by calling a lie a lie and agreeing with God that you missed the mark. This doesn’t mean that you have to feel unending guilt, but you do have to admit that you were a fool for being stupid enough to forget the truth yet again. It happens to everyone everywhere, and that’s why God has made a way out: repentance.
God doesn’t just put up with your junk. He isn’t your best friend who overlooks your sins; he is God, and he requires holiness (see Matt. 5:48). Don’t let your idea of a loving God cloud your need to recognize that he is a holy God and to agree with him about your sin. Choose to confess your sin and repent, and then bask in the joy of his unending love.