Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me
by the gazelles
or by the does in the field
that you will not awaken love
or arouse love before its proper time.
Song of Songs 2:7
A lot of girls’ hearts have been given to famous boys on stage and screen, but that kind of love is a one-way street. It’s called unrequited love, and it’s a kind of a lie. A lot of well-meaning girls have convinced themselves that what they feel about a boy is so strong that it must be true. They dream of him and fantasize about his love. Then, over time, when he never calls, they start to think that maybe God lied or maybe they did something wrong, but nothing could be further from the truth. Love is a totally amazing experience, but it also has to be grounded in faith—and not faith in a feeling but in a God who never promises romantic bliss but most definitely promises holiness.
When all your energy is focused on how you feel, your focus is selfish, and true love isn’t selfish. True love is not about being adored or romanced but about loving your neighbor, or in this case your significant other, as yourself. It’s about thinking of others as better than yourself (see Phil. 2:3) and sometimes even about loving your enemies.
There is a season when love is ripe, and it is important that you know your season. Don’t let feelings lie to you. Feelings can’t be commanded, but actions can, and God commands love, so it must be an action. God’s Word never orders us to be fulfilled or to find our dream but to learn the secret of being content no matter what the situation.
Feelings of love are sure to come, but it’s what you think about them that’s gonna prove how true they are. Don’t let your life be about obeying your feelings instead of obeying your God. Feelings can be fun, but they aren’t always trustworthy, so take every feeling captive to the Word of God and be careful not to call it love before its proper time.